extend Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious extend puns

Donald Trump has announced that he plans to extend his wall across the oceans...

This news came after he discovered that a man named Jesus managed to walk on water.

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Trump's wall will be useless since it doesn't extend into the oceans.....

Everyone knows Jesus can walk on water.

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Two Australian construction workers...

Two Australian construction workers, Pete and Mick, and working on the top floor a high rise building. Pete says to Mick - "I need to take a piss, but there's no dunny up here". Mick suggests that they extend a plank out over the side of the building, supported by Micks weight and that Pete walk out onto the plank to take a leak. They proceed with Micks plan, but mid piss the lunch bell rings. Mick, forgets his role in the plan and walks off to get lunch leaving the plank unsupported and Pete plummets to his death.

Months later, theres a Frenchman, an American and an Aussie sitting in a bar telling tall stories about just how far their countrymen go to get pussy. The Frenchmn tells his story. The American tells his. But the Aussie says - "thats nothing, a few months ago I was walking down the street following some ladies when this Aussie comes roaring out the sky with his dick in has hand screaming CUUUUUUNNT!!!!!!"

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[META] Can we have a tag for [SHORT] jokes?

For jokes that just have the lead-up in the title and a punch line in the body.

And to extend this further, [LONG] tags for jokes that go on and on.

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A french guy, an italian guy and an amarican on a plane.....

Among others, there are three guys on a plane. One is french, the other is italian and the third one is american.

The american says: "I bet I can guess where we are without looking outside, just by extend my arm out of the window". The other two go "Well, lets see". So he puts his arm outside the window and sais "we just passed New York". "How do you know?" "Because I touched the Liberty Statue".

The French guy says "I can do this too", stretches out his arm and says "We are in Paris, I just touched the Eiffel Tower".

The italian, unimpressed, puts his left arm outside, gets it back in in a second and says "Well, we are in Naples" The other two are surprised "How do you know? What did you touch?"
And he answers: "Nothing, my watch was just stolen".

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So I got extended sick leave from my job...

What happened is I called up my boss from home, and I said, "Hey, I can't come in today. I'm coming up with something."

And the boss man says, "Don't you mean 'coming down with something?'"

I said, "Yeah, but I'm still coming up with what I'm coming down with."

Now I can stay home for as long as I want. :)

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How to tell time in a forest

Here's how to tell time in a forest.

Try and face north, or make your best approximation as to which way is north. Stand straight and tall. Extend both arms so that they are parallel with the ground. Lower your left arm back down to your side. Bend your right arm so that your hand is against the left side of your chest. Now lower your chin to your chest and look at your watch.

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I extended a joke I saw on here recently. What's blue and not heavy?

What's blue and not heavy...? light blue....

What's blue and smart....? bright blue...

What's blue and rich....? royal blue...

What's blue and hurts...? My balls

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Quintuple pun

There once was a scientist who was doing research into longevity. He had a lab in Florida and was working with porpoises. He had discovered that he could extend their lifespans indefinitely by feeding them an extract made from seagulls. So each morning he would go out on the beach and hunt seagulls.

One day, when coming back from the hunt with a bunch of freshly killed seagulls he discovered that there was a lion lying across the path. But this didn't worry him as he recognized the lion and being a very old, harmless beast from the local zoo. Instead, he picked up his gulls and just stepped over the lion and continued on his way. Shortly thereafter he was arrested by the police.

The charge was "Transporting gulls across a staid lion for immortal porpoises.:

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Back when I was in school...

girls' clothes had to pass the "fingertip test" where they had to hold their arm straight down against their leg and, if their skirt or pants didn't extend to at least their fingertips, then they couldn't wear it. Of course, there was nothing the teachers could do about that slutty chick with the club arm.

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Too often we lose sight of life's simple pleasures

Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch slap that Motherfucker upside the head!

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Hitler

Hitler sits by a cliff. Calls a jew over and tells him to extend his arms in forward, and then throws him over. He then calls another jew and tells him to extend his arms upward, and again he throws him off the cliff. Then a guard asks him: "Hitlar, vat arr yu duing?" and Hitler says: "I'm playing Tetris"

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Can we have a tag for [SHORT] jokes?

For jokes that just have the lead-up in the title and a punch line in the body.

And to extend this further, [LONG] tags for jokes that go on and on.

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Hey girl, are you a Redstone Torch?

Because you really extend my Piston.

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Girls were falling all over me.

Maybe because I always extend my feet when they walk by.

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Is it too soon...

to extend the stereotype of Asians being shitty at driving to include flying?

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Outtake from a Peyton Manning Nationwide commercial....

HGH will extend my career.

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My IB Extended Essay is like a hot slut.

I have to do it, and it sucks balls.

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The wall with Mexico won't work because it doesn't extend into the ocean.

Everyone knows Jesus can walk on water.

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What are the most funny Extend jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Extend? Well, here are the best Extend dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Extend pick up lines to share with friends.

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