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Exposed Jokes

63 exposed jokes and hilarious exposed puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about exposed that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Exposed Short Jokes

Short exposed jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The exposed humour may include short exposing jokes also.

  1. A bikini is an outfit where 90% of a woman's body is exposed. The amazing fact is that men are so decent, they only look at the 10% that isn't.
  2. When women wear a bikini, they expose 90% of their bodies..... Men are so polite, they only look at the covered parts.
  3. When a woman wears a bikini, they leave 90% of their body exposed. Men, being the gentlemen that we are, only look at the other 10%.
  4. Just been talking to an old guy, ex-soldier. He explained to me he had been exposed to mustard gas and pepper spray, it was nice chatting to a seasoned veteran.
  5. After years of research, scientists discovered bees are allergic to pollen Turns out when exposed to pollen, bees develop hives
  6. The Bikini exposes up to 90% of the female body... ...but men are so classy we only look at the covered 10%
  7. When a woman wears a bikini, she has 90 percent of her body exposed Men, being the gentleman that we are, only look at the other 10 percent. (Hopefully not a repost)
  8. I was trying to expose the cement company for using cheap materials But I couldn't find any concrete evidence
  9. Few people know, that James Bond once had a partner, Agent 014 But he was exposed as a double agent.
  10. Did you hear about the BuzzFeed employee who peed on an exposed wire? Number 1 shocked him.

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Exposed One Liners

Which exposed one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with exposed? I can suggest the ones about exposure and indecent exposure.

  1. Why are ten year olds wearing shorts vulnerable? They have exposed kidneys
  2. James Bond once had a partner, Agent 014. But she was exposed for being a double agent.
  3. A man's ears were exposed to a high frequency sound... He said "It hertz."
  4. How do you expose a pervert? You don't, they usually expose themselves.
  5. Exposed Wires What you see will shock you!
  6. My chemistry teacher went on a camping trip and died... He was exposed to the elements.
  7. SpaceX should definitely not be exposed Elongate would be really drawn out.
  8. What do you call a werewolf's house after being exposed to a full moon? A werehouse
  9. Why is it always so shocking to have your lies exposed? You get de-fib-rillated
  10. I was exposed to a dangerous amount of gamma radiation. It still hertz.
  11. Did you hear about the seal who was exposed to alpha radiation? He's a sealion now.
  12. Why did Chancellor Palpatine get arrested? Because he was exposed by Wookieleaks.
  13. Why do pencils shave? To expose the tip
  14. Why did Japan do so bad in the World Cup final? They were exposed to radiation.
  15. Mouths are the new b**.... Only okay to expose them in public for the purpose of feeding.

Exposed joke, Mouths are the new b**....

Comical Exposed Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter

What funny jokes about exposed you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean unveiled jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make exposed pranks.

A Foot And A Half

Maria had just got married and being a traditional Italian, she was still a v**.... So, on her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was nervous. But her mother reassured her. Don't worry, Maria. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take care of you.
So up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Maria ran downstairs to her mother and says, Mama, Mama, Tony's got a big hairy chest.
Don't worry, Maria, says the mother, all good men have hairy chests. Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you.
So, up she went again. When she got up in the bedroom, Tony took off his pants exposing his hairy legs. Again, Maria ran downstairs to her mother. Mama, Mama, Tony took off his pants and he's got hairy legs!
Don't worry. All good men have hairy legs. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take good care of you.
So up she went again. When she got up there, Tony took off his socks and on his left foot he was missing three toes. When Maria saw this, she ran downstairs. Mama, Mama, Tony's got a foot and a half!
Stay here and stir the pasta, says the mother.
This is a job for Mama.

The old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tight so that it would not blow off in the wind....

The old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tight so that it would not blow off in the wind.
A gentleman approached her and said: Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?
Yes, I know, said the lady, I need both hands to hold onto this hat. But, madam, you must know that your privates are exposed! said the gentleman in earnest.
The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!

Three Little Old Ladies

Three little old ladies were at the bus stop in front of their church when a young man ran up to them and exposed himself. The oldest one had a s**.... The other two couldn't reach.

Three nuns were sitting on a bench in the park, enjoying the sunshine, when a man wearing a trench coat approached them and exposed himself. Two of the nuns had a s**... -

but the third one couldn't reach.

Two nuns were sitting on a bench in a park..

when a guy approached in a trench coat. He stopped right in front of them and exposed himself in all his natural beauty. The first nun had a s**.... The second nun was to slow.

What do you call an insect that gets exposed to radiation but nothing of consequence happens to it?

A moot ant

Studies have shown horses exposed to m**... are less stable and unsafe to ride.

So get off your high horse.

I like my women like Hillary

n**... and exposed !

While working at a lab, I accidentally put a q-tip that had been exposed to pulmonary tuberculosis in my mouth

I consumed consumption.

Did you know that when a woman wears a bikini, 90% of the body is exposed?

But men are so classy that they only stare at the 10% that's covered

A f**... went up to two old nuns sitting on a park bench and exposed himself to them. One of them immediately had a s**......

The other couldn't quite reach.

A k**... passenger grinningly exposed himself to a stewardess as he boarded the plane.

"I'm sorry," said the woman, "but you'll have to show me your ticket, not your stub."

With all these celebrities getting outed for molesting kids, it's only a matter of time before Jackie Chan is exposed.

Like, do you have any idea how many times he told Jaden Smith to jacket off in the karate kid?

Three old ladies

were sitting on a bench in the park enjoying the sun. A f**... came up and exposed himself. The first one had a s**.... The second one had a s**.... The third one could not reach

A man in a trench coat exposed himself to three elderly ladies sitting on a park bench.

The first lady had a s**....
The second lady also had a s**....
The third lady tried, but she was too frail and cannot reach.

I saw an article this morning in the newspaper about a psychic who was publicly exposed to be a fake at one of his shows

He didn't see it coming...

I work at a science lab

Last week the laughing gas chamber broke and everyone was exposed, we ended up laughing for 5 hours straight, it was hilarious.
Not funny? Well, i guess you had to be there.

s**... is like sarcasm:

We are all exposed to it, but not everyone gets it.

Did you hear about the judge who exposed himself during sentencing?

Apparently he wanted to meat out some justice.

Australian kids are exposed to male g**... a lot growing up.

By the time they reach 18, they've definitely seen a cockatoo.

An exhibitionist exposed himself to 3 old ladies sitting on a park bench.

The first old lady immediately had a s**....
The second old lady tried to ignore it but ended up having a s**....
The third old lady decided she wouldn't touch it.

Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench

Just then, a f**... ran up to them and exposed his p**.... The First Lady has a s**..., the second lady had a s**... but sadly, the third lady couldn't reach

What do apples, bananas and babies have in common?

They all start going bad once exposed to air.

This pandemic has exposed how unrealistic the movie The Martian is.

Not because of the space travel to Mars, but there is no way the US government would spend so much money and gather the resources to save just one life.

Three elderly ladies sitting on a park bench

Three very old ladies were sitting on a park bench together on a lovely sunny day when a f**... stopped at the end of their bench, faced them and exposed himself!
Well the old lady closest to him took a look and immediately had a s**...! Then the lady in the middle of the bench also looked then had a s**...! The last old lady at the end of the bench, poor love, couldn't reach that far.

I read about a Catholic priest that exposed himself

So the church defrocked him.
- Jimmy Carr

A friend of mine likes to argue the case for walking around with his g**... exposed.

I don't agree but I can see where he's coming from.

A couple of good covid jokes I've heard

1. I dont know anything about Coronavirus other than if you have it; you get an undeniable urge to go the airport.
2. By the point most of the world has been exposed to covid 19, but the people in Wuhan got it right of the bat.
3. You know why I think coronavirus wont last for more than a year.
WHY?
coz it's made in China.
4. I dont think anyone saw a worldwide pandemic happening this year. I guess most people don't have 2020 vision.

George Carlin once famously joked, "Think of how s**... the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that."

Thanks to all those people wearing masks but leaving their noses fully exposed, the stupider half is now a lot easier to spot.

Reasons to Avoid Water

* Can be extracte from rocket fuel
* Is the main ingredient in pestisides
* 100% of violent criminals have consumed water in the hours leading up to their crimes
* Is the #1 cause of drowning
* Excess consumption will cause sweating, urination and possibly death
* 100% of people exposed to water will die

Old lady on a cruise...

The old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tight so that it would not blow off in the wind.
A gentleman approached her and said: Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?
Yes, I know, said the lady, I need both hands to hold onto this hat. But, madam, you must know that your privates are exposed! said the gentleman in earnest.
The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!

did you know that bees are allergic to pollen?

Because when they get exposed to them they develop hives

Two old ladies were talking on a park bench when a guy in a trench coat came by and exposed himself. One old lady had a s**...!

The other couldn't reach it.

The news exposed Dwayne Johson for assaulting l**... having fun

In other words:
The Paper beat The Rock for beating scissors

The Missouri state legislature is considering a ban on female legislators' clothing that leaves their arms exposed

I never thought I'd see a Republican state trying to overturn the right to bare arms
(Yes, this is actually happening)

Exposed joke, The Missouri state legislature is considering a ban on female legislators' clothing that leaves thei

jokes about exposed