Comical Exposed Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter
When a woman wears a bikini, she has 90 percent of her body exposed
Men, being the gentleman that we are, only look at the other 10 percent. (Hopefully not a repost)
A Foot And A Half
Maria had just got married and being a traditional Italian, she was still a v**.... So, on her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was nervous. But her mother reassured her. Don't worry, Maria. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take care of you.
So up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Maria ran downstairs to her mother and says, Mama, Mama, Tony's got a big hairy chest.
Don't worry, Maria, says the mother, all good men have hairy chests. Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you.
So, up she went again. When she got up in the bedroom, Tony took off his pants exposing his hairy legs. Again, Maria ran downstairs to her mother. Mama, Mama, Tony took off his pants and he's got hairy legs!
Don't worry. All good men have hairy legs. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take good care of you.
So up she went again. When she got up there, Tony took off his socks and on his left foot he was missing three toes. When Maria saw this, she ran downstairs. Mama, Mama, Tony's got a foot and a half!
Stay here and stir the pasta, says the mother.
This is a job for Mama.
The old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tight so that it would not blow off in the wind....
The old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tight so that it would not blow off in the wind.
A gentleman approached her and said: Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?
Yes, I know, said the lady, I need both hands to hold onto this hat. But, madam, you must know that your privates are exposed! said the gentleman in earnest.
The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!
Three Little Old Ladies
Three little old ladies were at the bus stop in front of their church when a young man ran up to them and exposed himself. The oldest one had a s**.... The other two couldn't reach.
A man's ears were exposed to a high frequency sound...
He said "It hertz."
Three nuns were sitting on a park bench when suddenly a man ran up and exposed himself to them
One of the nuns had a s**....
TIL that some people are dumber than you think
True story, somebody told me today that it isn't smoking that gives you cancer. According to some girl who "is going to medical school", it is actually when you quit smoking and you are exposed to all the other harmful things in the air that you develop cancer.
Should a white wife sue both white husband and Asian mistress for destroying their lives if exposed on Ashley Madison?
A bikini is an outfit where 90% of a woman's body is exposed.
The amazing fact is that men are so decent, they only look at the 10% that isn't.
Three nuns were sitting on a bench in the park, enjoying the sunshine, when a man wearing a trench coat approached them and exposed himself. Two of the nuns had a s**... -
but the third one couldn't reach.
My chemistry teacher went on a camping trip and died...
He was exposed to the elements.
You can explore exposed buttocks reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean exposed shown dad jokes. There are also exposed puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Two nuns were sitting on a bench in a park..
when a guy approached in a trench coat. He stopped right in front of them and exposed himself in all his natural beauty. The first nun had a s**.... The second nun was to slow.
What do you call an insect that gets exposed to radiation but nothing of consequence happens to it?
A moot ant
Studies have shown horses exposed to m**... are less stable and unsafe to ride.
So get off your high horse.
I like my women like Hillary
n**... and exposed !
While working at a lab, I accidentally put a q-tip that had been exposed to pulmonary tuberculosis in my mouth
I consumed consumption.
Did you know that when a woman wears a bikini, 90% of the body is exposed?
But men are so classy that they only stare at the 10% that's covered
What do you call a werewolf's house after being exposed to a full moon?
A werehouse
A f**... went up to two old nuns sitting on a park bench and exposed himself to them. One of them immediately had a s**......
The other couldn't quite reach.
A k**... passenger grinningly exposed himself to a stewardess as he boarded the plane.
"I'm sorry," said the woman, "but you'll have to show me your ticket, not your stub."
At the pool yesterday, we noticed they don't allow Japanese people:
The sign said: No Exposed n**...
When a woman wears a bikini, they leave 90% of their body exposed.
Men, being the gentlemen that we are, only look at the other 10%.
With all these celebrities getting outed for molesting kids, it's only a matter of time before Jackie Chan is exposed.
Like, do you have any idea how many times he told Jaden Smith to jacket off in the karate kid?
Three old ladies
were sitting on a bench in the park enjoying the sun. A f**... came up and exposed himself. The first one had a s**.... The second one had a s**.... The third one could not reach
Did you hear about the BuzzFeed employee who peed on an exposed wire?
Number 1 shocked him.
A man in a trench coat exposed himself to three elderly ladies sitting on a park bench.
The first lady had a s**....
The second lady also had a s**....
The third lady tried, but she was too frail and cannot reach.
SpaceX should definitely not be exposed
Elongate would be really drawn out.
I saw an article this morning in the newspaper about a psychic who was publicly exposed to be a fake at one of his shows
He didn't see it coming...
I work at a science lab
Last week the laughing gas chamber broke and everyone was exposed, we ended up laughing for 5 hours straight, it was hilarious.
Not funny? Well, i guess you had to be there.
s**... is like sarcasm:
We are all exposed to it, but not everyone gets it.
Did you hear about the judge who exposed himself during sentencing?
Apparently he wanted to meat out some justice.
Few people know, that James Bond once had a partner, Agent 014
But he was exposed as a double agent.
Australian kids are exposed to male g**... a lot growing up.
By the time they reach 18, they've definitely seen a cockatoo.
An exhibitionist exposed himself to 3 old ladies sitting on a park bench.
The first old lady immediately had a s**....
The second old lady tried to ignore it but ended up having a s**....
The third old lady decided she wouldn't touch it.
So I just saw on the news that a Frenchman wearing ladies underwear, exposed himself to a field hockey team. I guess you could say that he's...
... a Lacrosse Dresser.
Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench
Just then, a f**... ran up to them and exposed his p**.... The First Lady has a s**..., the second lady had a s**... but sadly, the third lady couldn't reach
What do apples, bananas and babies have in common?
They all start going bad once exposed to air.
This pandemic has exposed how unrealistic the movie The Martian is.
Not because of the space travel to Mars, but there is no way the US government would spend so much money and gather the resources to save just one life.
Three elderly ladies sitting on a park bench
Three very old ladies were sitting on a park bench together on a lovely sunny day when a f**... stopped at the end of their bench, faced them and exposed himself!
Well the old lady closest to him took a look and immediately had a s**...! Then the lady in the middle of the bench also looked then had a s**...! The last old lady at the end of the bench, poor love, couldn't reach that far.
I read about a Catholic priest that exposed himself
So the church defrocked him.
- Jimmy Carr
A friend of mine likes to argue the case for walking around with his g**... exposed.
I don't agree but I can see where he's coming from.
A couple of good covid jokes I've heard
1. I dont know anything about Coronavirus other than if you have it; you get an undeniable urge to go the airport.
2. By the point most of the world has been exposed to covid 19, but the people in Wuhan got it right of the bat.
3. You know why I think coronavirus wont last for more than a year.
WHY?
coz it's made in China.
4. I dont think anyone saw a worldwide pandemic happening this year. I guess most people don't have 2020 vision.
George Carlin once famously joked, "Think of how s**... the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that."
Thanks to all those people wearing masks but leaving their noses fully exposed, the stupider half is now a lot easier to spot.
Reasons to Avoid Water
* Can be extracte from rocket fuel
* Is the main ingredient in pestisides
* 100% of violent criminals have consumed water in the hours leading up to their crimes
* Is the #1 cause of drowning
* Excess consumption will cause sweating, urination and possibly death
* 100% of people exposed to water will die
James Bond once had a partner, Agent 014.
But she was exposed for being a double agent.
After years of research, scientists discovered bees are allergic to pollen
Turns out when exposed to pollen, bees develop hives
Just been talking to an old guy, ex-soldier.
He explained to me he had been exposed to mustard gas and pepper spray, it was nice chatting to a seasoned veteran.
Why are ten year olds wearing shorts vulnerable?
They have exposed kidneys
Old lady on a cruise...
The old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tight so that it would not blow off in the wind.
A gentleman approached her and said: Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?
Yes, I know, said the lady, I need both hands to hold onto this hat. But, madam, you must know that your privates are exposed! said the gentleman in earnest.
The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!
Exposed Wires
What you see will shock you!
did you know that bees are allergic to pollen?
Because when they get exposed to them they develop hives
Two old ladies were talking on a park bench when a guy in a trench coat came by and exposed himself. One old lady had a s**...!
The other couldn't reach it.
The news exposed Dwayne Johson for assaulting l**... having fun
In other words:
The Paper beat The Rock for beating scissors
The Missouri state legislature is considering a ban on female legislators' clothing that leaves their arms exposed
I never thought I'd see a Republican state trying to overturn the right to bare arms
(Yes, this is actually happening)
