The Best 69 Explain Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Explain jokes. There are some explain interpret jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these explain how to explain puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 Funniest Explain Jokes and Puns
Twenty years from now, kids are gonna think "Baby it's cold outside" is really weird, and we're gonna have to explain that it has to be understood as a product of its time.
You see, it used to get cold outside
Found 4 fox cubs
I called the ISPCA today and said, "I've just found a suitcase in the woods containing a fox and four cubs."
"That's terrible," the woman on the phone replied. "Are they moving?"
"I'm not sure, to be honest," I said, "But that would explain the suitcase."
My grandad always used to say to me that the best part of fighting is the make-up sex.
Which would probably explain his short lived career as a boxer.
I just explained Google images to my mum...
"Pick anything to search for" I told her.
"What about a nice cream pie?" She asked.
"Except that." I replied.
Birth
A teenager comes home from school and asks her mother "Is it true what Rita just told me? Babies come out of the same place where boys put their dicks?"
"Yes, dear" replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and she wouldn't have to explain it to her daughter.
"But then when I have a baby," responded the teenager "won't it knock my teeth out?"
Little Johnny catches his mom and dad...
Mom and dad are having sex when little Johnny walks in. Quickly, dad tells him to leave. When mom and dad come out of the room, they explain to Johnny that sometimes daddy's get a big tummy and mommy's have to jump on it so it will deflate. Then Johnny replies, "But why does mommy have to deflate it when Ms. Jane next door just comes over every day to blow it back up?"
It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs...
Because they always take things literally.
Little Billy comes home early from school, only to find his Dad masturbating in the living room...
As Billy is quite young, he is shocked and confused at what he is seeing. His Dad tries to explain:
"Don't be scared, Billy. I'm not hurting myself, I'm doing something completely normal. In fact, you are going to start doing it pretty soon as well."
"Why is that, Dad?", young Billy asks.
"Because, son, my hand is getting tired and I need someone to take over."
A joke is like a frog..
When you dissect it, it dies.
Get it? Just like a frog dies when you dissect it, so does a joke when you explain it.
Basically, the frog is used as an analogy, to help people understand that jokes shouldn't be explained, because the joke will die, or more specifically, become unfunny. So, just like when a frog dies when you dissect it, so does a joke when you dissect, or explain it.
My son asked me to explain what coloring eggs had to do with the story of Easter...
"You see, son, we color Easter eggs to remind us that Jesus dyed for our sins."
How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just two. One to explain to the public that everything possible is being done to solve the problem, and the other to screw the lightbulb into the water faucet.
You can explore explain understand reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean explain objectively dad jokes. There are also explain puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A man is walking through the woods...
when he come across a suitcase. Inside the suitcase he finds a fox and her cubs. He dials animal control to report his discovery. The woman on the other end exclaims, "That's horrible... are they moving? The man responds, "I don't know but that would explain the suitcase"
A blind man walks into a bar
A blind man walks into a bar, taps the man next him and says, "Hey, wanna hear a blond joke?"
The man said to the blind man, "Look buddy, I'm blond. The man behind me is a 400-pound professional wrestler, and he's blond. The bouncer is blond. The man sitting over to your left is also blond. Still wanna tell that blond joke?"
The blind man was silent for a moment and then said, "Nah, I wouldn't want to have to explain it five times."
Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me.
It means a lot.
A teenage girl come home from school and asks her mother, "Is it true what Rita just told me?"
"What's that?" asks her mother. "That babies come out of the same place where boys put their penises?" said her daughter.
"Yes it is dear!" replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and that she wouldn't have to explain it to her daughter.
"But then, when I have a baby," responded the teenager, "won't it knock my teeth out?"
A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint.
The barkeeper says "you're in here pretty often. Think you might be an alcoholic?", to which the horse says "I don't think I am.", and vanishes from existence.
See, the joke is about Descartes' famous philosophy of 'I think therefor I am", but to explain that part before the rest of the joke would be to put Descartes before the horse.
Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog.
You understand it better, but it dies in the process.
See what I did there was use the frog as an analogy to show that exposing the inner workings of a joke would essentially deprive it of its life in that it's not funny anymore. I'm drawing a parallel (and so is E. B. White) to how you basically kill a frog when dissecting it to better understand the functioning of its inner body parts, since there is now little left in the joke to laugh at.
*
Tried to explain my sexuality to my dad..
Me: Okay, so I would identify as bisexual.
Dad: And that means you would have a male partner.
Me: Yep
Dad: or a female partner.
Me: Yep
Dad: And that means you're bi.
Me: Yep
Dad: So that means if you don't find a partner you're on standbi?
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me: Did you just...
A grade school teacher asks her students what their parents do for a living.
Billy proudly stands up and announces, "My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse."
The teacher is aghast and promptly changes the subject. Later that day, she calls Billy's mother and explains what Billy said.
Billy's mother says, "Actually, his father's an attorney, but how can we explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?"
I called the ASPCA hotline to tell them I'd just found six Badgers in a suitcase by the side of the road
"Are they moving?" asked the operator
"Not sure" I replied "But that would explain the suitcase"
- Doctor, I want to live very old
- Do you drink?
- Never, only water.
- You smoke?
- Oh no, my body is a temple
- Do you have crazy nights out dancing while doing cocaine and coming back home to have unprotected sex with multiple partners?
- Never, I'm single and abstinent.
- I see. So could you explain me exactly why you want to live old?
Why couldn't the Italian explain himself to the police?
He was handcuffed.
My friend says he has the body of a Greek God...
I had to explain to him Buddha wasn't Greek
At the job interview
Interviewer: I see here that you had a five-year gap between jobs. Can you please explain it?
Me: Oh that's when I went to Yale.
Interviewer: That is very impressive. You can start tomorrow.
Me: Yay, I got a yob.
A Native American walks into an Old West saloon followed shortly by a bear
The patrons freeze in fear, and the saloonkeeper points to the Native American man and whispers "There's a bear right behind you!"
The Native American man holds up a calm hand and says, "I can explain. Bear with me."
The police say that they burn all the weed they confiscate...
That would explain the doughnuts...
Missionary in the jungle
A missionary lives with a tribe in the jungle, when one day the Chief of the tribe approaches him:
"You are the only white man around here, and now my daughter gave birth to a white child! Explain yourself, or prepare to die!"
The missionary hesitates for a moment, then replies:
"The nature is full of wonders. Look at those sheep over there. They are all white, except for one single lamb which is black."
The Chief: "... If you keep quiet, then I will too.
I phoned the animal shelter today
and said "I've found six kittens in a suitcase in the woods." They said ", are they moving?"
I replied "I don't know but that would explain the suitcase."
What is communism?
- Let me explain.. If you had 2 yachts and your friend had none, wouldn't you give him one?
- Of course.
- Well, that's communism. Another example, if you had 2 homes and your friend had none, wouldn't you give him one?
- Of course I would.
- See, its easy. If you had 2 coats for example and your friend had none, wouldn't you give him one?
- No!
- No? Why not?
- Because I *do* have 2 coats
My buddy asked me if he could crash on my couch tonight
I had to explain to him that i am married now, and that's where i sleep
They say that the 10 types of people in this world are those that can read binary and those that get laid.
Can someone explain to me the other 8 types?
I saw God write a review about our solar system a while ago
he didn't explain why he gave it a one star tho
Interviewer: How do you explain the five-year gap on your resume?
Me: Oh, that was when I went to Yale.
Interviwer: Amazing! You're hired.
Me: Yay, I got a yob!
A son ask his dad to explain the difference between reality and fiction.
Dad: It's complicated but let me try to explain. Honey, would you sleep with the neighbor for 100,000$?
Mom: Yes of course because I know we need the money.
Dad: Very good. Alright now Tasha, would you have sex with the neighbor's son for 200,000$?
Daughter: Yeah sure!
Dad: Perfect. So you see son, right now we would have 300,000 fictional dollars but in reality we have two whores in this house.
I met a Jewish girl and she asked me for my number.
Had to explain to her that we use names here. It was a pain.
Schrodinger's cat was meant to prove how dumb quantum states are, yet it's widely used to advocate and explain it. I bet he's rolling in his grave...
and not
A horse walks into a bar, at which point the bartender asks if he's an alcoholic given all the bars he frequents.
I don't think I am. the horse replies.
*poof*
The horse disappears.
This is the moment where those who are into philosophy start to grin as they're familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito Ergo Sum , or I think, therefore I am .
But to explain that joke beforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.
Why was my post removed
Can someone from admin please explain to me why my post was removed?
I'm really annoyed about this because now my fence has fallen over.
So explain this logic for me. So a girl can cuddle another girl and still be straight right?
But when I cuddle another guy I'm a creep and need to leave the morgue immediately
My 3 year old daughter asked
My 3 year old daughter asked: Where does poo come from?
I decided it was best to explain it at a level she would understand so I said: You just had breakfast?
Yes , she replied.
Well, the food goes in your mouth down into your tummy. Our body takes all the good stuff it needs out of the food and then what's left goes down to your bottom and when you go to the toilet that comes out as poo.
She looked confused and stared at me in stunned silence for a few seconds. Then asked: And Tigger?
Interviewer: "How do you explain the three year gap on your resume?"
Dave : "Oh! That was when I went to Yale!"
Interviewer: "Amazing! You're hired!"
Dave: "Hurray! I got a yob!"
Four college students get drunk together the night before their final exam.
They get so drunk that they wake up late and miss their exam. The four students go to the professor together and explain this elaborate lie that their car tire went flat when they were on their way to the exam. They beg for a retest, and the professor agrees.
The day of the makeup test, the four boys all arrive on time, completely sober. The professor looks at the boys, looks at his watch, and says you may begin the test.
The boys open the final booklet and to their surprise, they each only have one question.
Which tire was flat?
Dad can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is
No sun
Job interview
Job interviewer: How do you explain this 4 year gap on your resume?
Me: That's when i went to yale.
Interviewer: That's impressive. Your hired
Me: Thanks i really needed this yob.
Interviewer: Please explain this 4 year gap in your resume
Me: That was the time I was in Yale
Interviewer: Very impressive, we'd like to offer you the position
Me: Thanks, I really need this yob!
I tried to explain to my 4-year-old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants,
but he's still making fun of me.
Wife: Would you care to explain why the bottle of whisky you bought yesterday is half empty?
Me : It's because you're a pessimist.
Cop: I'm arresting you for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia
Man: Wait I can explain everything
"Mansplain" is a terrible word to use
because it has more letters than explain and is therefore more difficult for women to understand.
I got arrested for illegally downloading the whole of Wikipedia
I told them I could explain everything.
I asked my dad to simply explain what an acorn is.
He said, "It's an oak tree, in a nutshell."
A man got arrested for having drugs in his pocket.
"Officer," he said, "I can explain."
-How? -the officer replied.
"Every time I throw those drugs in the toilet, they magicaly reappear in my pocket."
-Don't lie to me. -says the officer.
"Let me show you then."
So the officer allows him to show it. A man takes out drugs, throw it in the toilet and fushes the water.
-Let me see your pocket now. -says the officer.
"My pockets?"
-Yes, to see those drugs.
"What drugs?"
A man gets arrested for illegally downloading Wikipedia
The man says, Wait! I can explain everything!
Job interviewer: So, how do you wish to explain this four year gap on your resume?
Interviewee: That is because I went to Yale
Job interviewer: Oh, that is impressive! You are hired!
Interviewee: Thanks! I really needed this Yob
I got arrested for downloading the whole Wikipedia.
I got arrested for downloading the whole Wikipedia.
I told them I could explain everything.
A blind man walks into a bar.
A blind man walks into a bar, taps the man next him, and says, "Hey, wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The man says back to the blind man, "Look buddy, I'm blonde. The man behind me is a 400-pound professional wrestler and he is blonde. The bouncer is blonde. The man sitting over to your left is also blonde. Still wanna tell that blonde joke?"
The blind man is silent for a moment and then says, "Nah, I wouldn't want to have to explain it five times."
A Swedish man shows up to a job interview
The interviewer says, "Mr. Gustafson, could you explain the 4 year gap in your resume?"
"I went to Yale", he replied.
"Outstanding! What did you go to Yale for?"
"Yacking off in the library"
Hi, my name is Bob, and I'm an alcoholic
Sir, this is Triple A, not Alcoholics Anonymous
I know, I'm just trying to explain why my car is in a lake.
I've spent an hour and a half now trying to explain "sunk cost fallacy" to my son
He's no nearer understanding it than when we started, and it's giving me a serious headache.
But if I quit now I'll have had all this for nothing!
My 9 year old son just asked me to pretend I was a police officer arresting him for downloading the entire Wikipedia. Me: Young man, you're under arrest for downloading the entire Wikipedia!
Him: I can explain everything!
(It's his best joke yet I think)
I came out as bikesexual today
My parents were really confused so I had to back pedal to explain
i have spent 2 hours trying to explain sunk cost fallacy to my son
he doesn't seem to be understanding anything i am saying and honestly, i feel like giving up.
but if i quit now, i'd have spent all this time for nothing!
A old man as a pet mongoose who gives birth.
Deciding he can't look after the mongoose and the pup he decides to donate them to the zoo and writes a letter to explain.
Dear zoo,
I would like to donate two ~~mongooses~~ ~~mongeeses~~ ~~mongi~~
.
.
.
Dear zoo,
I would like to donate one mongoose.
PS here is another.
My Son asked me to explain how Government work
So I told him. They measure with a micrometer, mark with chalk and cut with Axe.
How did Kim Kardashian explain to her daughter the reason why Kanye is acting this way?
North, my relationship with West has gone totally South.
I wanted to explain how I turned into a cat...
But they wouldn't hear me out.
My brother in law was trying to explain something, and was trying to think of a word for the opposite of verbally
And I said: oh you mean Nounally!
It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs
They always take things literally
Interviewer: Can you explain these 4 jobless years in your resume? Applicant: That's when I went to Yale.
Interviewer: Impressive! You are hired!
Applicant: Thanks, I really need this yob.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the explain tell jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working explain mansplaining piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.