Expiration Jokes

Funniest Expiration Short Jokes

Short expiration jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The expiration humour may include short expired jokes also.

1. I don't get anti-vaxxers. If you want a trial version of a kid why don't you borrow your friend's and babysit it instead of letting your own expire?
2. People say Millennials are entitled... but have you ever tried to tell an old lady her coupon has expired?
3. I found some dressing in my fridge that expires on 12-21-2012.... It's called Mayanaisse....
4. I ate an expired can of alphabet soup... Now I have severe cramps in my vowels and I've been in-consonant all day
5. A man is caught staring so hard at his marriage certificate by his wife... She asks him what he's looking for.
   He replies, "oh just the expiration date!"
6. My milk expires next thursday That means my milk has a date on Valentines Day, and I still don't.
7. I bought the 250 million year old pink Himalayan salt Behind the package, on the label, it says that it expires in December 2022
8. I was just about to watch Armageddon on Netflix, when my subscription expired. "Ah well," I thought. "It's not the end of the world."
9. Just checked that the carton of milk in my fridge expired December 31. Unlike me, it had a date on New Year's Eve.
10. Anyone got a fork and a plate? Reddit handed me a slice o cake, but 2hrs til it expires and they left me without silverware and fine china needed to enjoy it :(

Share These Expiration Jokes With Friends

Expiration One Liners

Which expiration one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with expiration? I can suggest the ones about deadline and lifetime.

1. How does french cheese expire? From age.
2. I once set an alarm to tell me when my milk would expire Spoiler alert
3. If fresh noodles are noodles, what are expired noodles called? Oldles.
4. What do you call an expired avocado? A guacamoldy
5. Trump 2020 Who knew it was an expiration date?
6. Dessert?? My wife made dessert with expired milk.
   It was really off pudding.
7. What do you call an expired sausage? A spoiled brat.
8. I opened a can of expired beans It let out an uncanny smell.
9. Bought some 250 million year old Himalayan salt But it expires in August.
10. Today, Ronald McDonald put a quarter in my expired parking meter ... what a kind jester!
11. If a poison expires, Will it be more poisonous or less poisonous?
12. I accidentally bought expired seasoning at the store It was a bad thyme
13. I asked my yoga teacher what my purpose in life is she said " To inspire and then expire"
14. Just checked the expiration dates on my TESCO burgers... Aaaaaannnndddd They're OFF!
15. What do you call an expired invisibility cream? Disap-ointment.

Past Expiration Jokes

Here is a list of funny past expiration jokes and even better past expiration puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I saw the expiration date was six months past. Guess I waited too long to use the 250million year old Himalayan salt.
• Respiratory pun (a breath of fresh air) Once, I met a person whose lungs were so old that she had a hard time breathing out. I guess you could say that her lungs were past their expiration date.
• What does panda meat taste like? Like it's past its expiration date
• Why are people reluctant to eat pudding that is past its expiration date? Because it is off pudding.
• I ate some Girl Scout Cookies that were way past their expiration date... ...and ended up with a n**... bout of samoanella.

Uplifting Expiration Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends

What funny jokes about expiration you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean exit jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make expiration pranks.