Expiration Jokes

These are 16 expiration jokes and hilarious expiration puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about expiration that are good jokes for kids and friends.

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Best Short Expiration Jokes

These are our top expiration puns. Have fun with a good expiration joke in English with simple expiration humour.

  1. I don't get anti-vaxxers. If you want a trial version of a kid why don't you borrow your friend's and babysit it instead of letting your own expire?
  2. People say Millennials are entitled... but have you ever tried to tell an old lady her coupon has expired?
  3. I found some dressing in my fridge that expires on 12-21-2012.... It's called Mayanaisse....
  4. I ate an expired can of alphabet soup... Now I have severe cramps in my vowels and I've been in-consonant all day
  5. A man is caught staring so hard at his marriage certificate by his wife... She asks him what he's looking for.
    He replies, "oh just the expiration date!"
  6. My milk expires next thursday That means my milk has a date on Valentines Day, and I still don't.
  7. I bought the 250 million year old pink Himalayan salt Behind the package, on the label, it says that it expires in December 2022
  8. I was just about to watch Armageddon on Netflix, when my subscription expired. "Ah well," I thought. "It's not the end of the world."
  9. Just checked that the carton of milk in my fridge expired December 31. Unlike me, it had a date on New Year's Eve.
  10. Anyone got a fork and a plate? Reddit handed me a slice o cake, but 2hrs til it expires and they left me without silverware and fine china needed to enjoy it :(
Expiration joke, Anyone got a fork and a plate?

Make fun with this list of one liners, gags and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor found in these expiration jokes can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of expiration puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, these jokes offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Expiration One Liners

Which expiration dad jokes are funny enough to crack down and make fun with expiration?

  1. How does french cheese expire? From age.
  2. I once set an alarm to tell me when my milk would expire Spoiler alert
  3. If fresh noodles are noodles, what are expired noodles called? Oldles.
  4. What do you call an expired avocado? A guacamoldy
  5. Trump 2020 Who knew it was an expiration date?
  6. Dessert?? My wife made dessert with expired milk.
    It was really off pudding.
  7. What do you call an expired sausage? A spoiled brat.
  8. I opened a can of expired beans It let out an uncanny smell.
  9. Bought some 250 million year old Himalayan salt But it expires in August.
  10. Today, Ronald McDonald put a quarter in my expired parking meter ... what a kind jester!
  11. If a poison expires, Will it be more poisonous or less poisonous?
  12. I accidentally bought expired seasoning at the store It was a bad thyme
  13. I asked my yoga teacher what my purpose in life is she said " To inspire and then expire"
  14. Just checked the expiration dates on my TESCO burgers... Aaaaaannnndddd They're OFF!
  15. What do you call an expired invisibility cream? Disap-ointment.

Past Expiration Jokes

Here is a list of funny past expiration jokes and even better past expiration puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I saw the expiration date was six months past. Guess I waited too long to use the 250million year old Himalayan salt.
  • Respiratory pun (a breath of fresh air) Once, I met a person whose lungs were so old that she had a hard time breathing out. I guess you could say that her lungs were past their expiration date.
  • What does panda meat taste like? Like it's past its expiration date
  • Why are people reluctant to eat pudding that is past its expiration date? Because it is off pudding.
  • I ate some Girl Scout Cookies that were way past their expiration date... ...and ended up with a n**... bout of samoanella.
Expiration joke, I ate some Girl Scout Cookies that were way past their expiration date...

Uplifting Expiration Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends

What funny jokes about expiration to tell and make people laugh ? Check out these list of good jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make expiration prank.

c**... expiration dates are a little misleading

because I get sick no matter when I eat them.

Password reset

A man was was unable to log into his online banking account and he pulled up the online chat support.
"I put in my password and I cannot access my account"
"Sorry that password has expired- you must register a new one."
"Did anyone discover that password and hack my computer?"

"No, but your password has expired- you must get a new one."

"Why then do I need a new one as that one seems to be working pretty well?"

"Well, you must get a new one as they automatically expire every 90 days."

"Can I use the old one and just re-register it?"

"No, you must get a new one."

"I don't want a new one as that is one more thing for me to remember."

"Sorry, you must get a new one."

"OK, roses."

"Sorry you must use more letters."

"OK, pretty roses"

"No good, you must use at least one numerical character."

"OK, 1 pretty rose"
"Sorry, you cannot use blank spaces."

"OK, 1prettyrose"

"Sorry, you must use additional characters."

"OK, 1fuckingprettyrose"

"Sorry, you must use at least one capital letter."


"Sorry, you cannot use more than one capital letter in a row."

"OK, 1Fuckingprettyrose"

"Sorry, you cannot use that password as you must use additional letters."

"OK, 1Fuckingprettyroseshovedupyourassifyoudon'tgivemeaccessrightfuckingnow"
"Sorry, you cannot use that password as it is already being used"

My s**... life is like my credit card.

It expired a long time ago.


James finds a friend whom he hasn't spoken with for a long time, so to be nice, he breaks the ice:
" -Hey Oscar, how are you doing?"
" -Terrible."
" -What?! What about your Ferrari?"
" -Wrecked in an accident... and the insurance had just expired."
" -Well, you win some, you lose some... And what about your son, the intelectual one?"
" -He was the one driving the Ferrari. Died upon impact."
" -But what about your beautiful daughter, didn't she say she wanted to be a model or something?"
" -She did, yeah... And was with her brother. She died too. Only person who wasn't in the car was my wife."
" -Oh thank God! How is she?"
" -She ran off with my bussiness partner."
" -Well, at least you got the company."
" -Yeah, a bankrupt one... I owe millions."
" -Jesus, dude! Do you have anything positive in your life?"
" -Yeah, h**...."

So a husband and a wife are talking...

Wife: "What are you doing."
Husband: "Nothing."
Wife: "Nothing? You have been starring at our marriage certificate for hours!"
Husband: "Ok, I'm looking for an expiration date."

Expiration joke, Trump 2020

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like kids and toddlers can enjoy. They can be verbal, as in a play on words, or narrative, often involving a set-up and a punchline. JokoJokes has it all! Jokes in Spanish are also found. Teens are often joking with 4 year olds and 6 year olds. Found out more in our Jokes FAQ section

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The impact of these expiration jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.