Silly Experts Jokes for a Good Time with Friends
Why did Pee Wee Herman win the annual bass fishing contest?
Experts say it's because he was a master baiter.
Did you hear that archaeologists discovered an unusual ancient Egyptian tomb recently?
The body was preserved with chocolate and nuts.
Experts believe it to be the tomb of Pharaoh Roche!
Days after a massive F5 tornado hits Mississippi..
...financial experts estimate it did over 50 million dollars worth of good.
A farmer in Nebraska just had his fence destroyed by a tornado, and he's asking for our help
He heard we have a lot of experts in re-posting
Should a patient with Osgood-Schlatters be referred to a nephrologist?
After all, they are Kid-knee experts.
Meanwhile in business news...
...balloon prices are plummeting. Experts are putting it down to a poor inflation rate
Why did all the students from Alabama skip the archaeology lecture?
They were already experts in relative dating.
Experts are predicting a very wet day tomorrow...
They are urging cinemas showing 50 shades of grey to brace themselves.
A growing number of parents are trying to force feed their children.
Experts can offer no explanation. Citing, "Even Master Jedi use spoons."
Some say that the Mongols created the first iteration of the Ideal Gas Law.
After all, they were pneumatic experts.
Archeologists digging in a site in Egypt found a mummy buried with a large amount of chocolate and nuts.
Experts believe it to be the Pharaoh Roche.
You can explore experts guru reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean experts geniuses dad jokes. There are also experts puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Some Muslim extremists just rammed a boat into the Thames Barrier.
Experts believe it's the start of Ramadam.
Tianjin's disaster could have been prevented...
After all, the experts have warned us that China's population might explode.
[Warning: Nerdy] Two self driving cars lost control on the freeway and crashed, killing 4.
Experts say it was caused by a race condition.
Why are most demolitions experts happy?
They get the best blow jobs in town.
What do Steve Harvey and a dentist have in common?
They're both experts at placing temporary crowns.
Archaeologists have found a hidden chamber in Tutankhamun's tomb
Archaeologists have found a second mummy inside Tutankhamun's tomb. The mummy appears to be covered in chocolate and hazelnuts. Experts believe it is the remains of Pharaoh Rocher.
Why don't Object Oriented Programming experts beat their wives?
They are classier than that.
Recent studies have shown that Apple is trailing behind Samsung in innovation
Experts predict that it will take at least another two years for iPhones to bring explosive features to the market.
Two Unix experts are talking about their age...
- What is your date of birth?
- 0
- Ohh, nice I was born in January too.
A guy had 6.023*10^23 bruises in his body...
Experts are saying he got molested.
I just found out that Archeologist were recently digging in the Pyramids of Egypt and found a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts.
Experts on site identified the mummy as Pharaoh Roche.
Depression in Mexico
There are been a sharp increase in depression in Mexico since Trump got into office on the platform of building a wall between the two countries.
Leading mental health experts have said that sadly many Mexicans will never get over it.
Aaron Hernandez is going to be a steal in everyone's fantasy draft this year
Experts are saying that he'll probably be hanging around and available in the late rounds.
Where did the security experts go?
They ransomware.
Why are archers good at building planes?
Because they're experts in arrow dynamics
I heard the military is assembling a crack squad made up of all T-Rexes
Makes sense - I hear T-Rexes are small arms experts!
Apparently the army is actively recruiting strippers.
They are experts on setting up booby traps.
Experts are now saying that Hurricane Harvey...
is the worst disaster to hit the United States since last November!
Studies have shown an epidemic of bedbugs in hotels across the world.
Experts believe the NSA is to blame because: "They bug everything".
Hurricane Nate is said to go straight North from The Gulf in to Alabama
Experts say it will cause millions of dollars worth of improvement.
Question about baby expert Dr. Spock
Given that Dr. Benjamin Spock was one of the leading experts in pregnancy and early childhood, having written a famous book (BABY & CHILD CARE) for expecting & new mothers on taking care of their babies...
Would it be correct to call Dr. Spock a Mother-FAQer?
What does a politician have in common with a pornstar?
Both are experts in changing positions in front of a camera.
What do they call dog experts?
Dogtors
Experts now bringing in Ozzy Osbourne to assess the Amtrak derailment in Washington
As he is certified on going off the rails on a crazy train.
How do schools of fish meet their annual goals?
They call in a-fish-in-sea experts.
In one year we lost two great experts in black holes
Stephen William Hawking and Hugh Marston Hefner
Did you hear about the new tomb that they found in Egypt?
It contains hazelnuts and coco and experts think that the tomb belonged to the...Ferrero Rocher
:)))
Smoking Kills
Experts say that every time you inhale a drag of a cigarette, it takes 7 seconds off your life.
When I was a teenager, my best friend and I tried cigarettes for the first time. I ended up smoking for 25 years, but my friend only inhaled **once**.
Yesterday, while out walking his dog, he got hit by a bus and was killed instantly.
I can't get it out of my mind - I keep thinking - if he never had inhaled that one time - we probably could have heard him scream.
The boys trapped in a cave in Thailand need to become diving experts to escape
Sounds like a job for Neymar
It is taking much longer to rescue the boys trapped in the Thai cave.
All the diving experts are participating in the World Cup in Russia.
Our crack team of experts has done the research
They need more crack.
The US Military today confirmed that two m**... users were killed when an aircraft crashed into a house shortly after takeoff.
Experts are saying it's the first recorded instance of killing two stoners with one bird.
Experts say men think about s**... every 7 seconds
I try to eat hot dogs in 6 seconds so things don't get weird...
Experts have decided on a caption for the famous photo of Trump and Putin's first handshake
They settled on "Grabbing America By the Pus*y"
The TSA is like a paper toilet seat cover
They probably don't actually do anything, and experts say they don't really make us safer, but do you really want to sit on a public toilet (or plane) without them?
Top Reddit posters should use their karma to help the envioronment
They are already experts at recycling.
Experts say Donald Trump been setting an outstanding example during the Covid-19 outbreak
28 consecutive press briefings spent washing his hands
Iran has announced a controversial move to reopen outdoor markets
Experts have described the move as a bazaar decision
China's lack of transparency on virus is fuelling rumors: US experts
It's basically all this he said Xi said b**....
Ok folks, all you automobile experts, I need your advice. I'm ready to buy a brand new top model fast car, budgeting around a million. Can you please suggest..............
..............Where can I get the money from?
How many flat earthers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three experts in logistics, one metereologist, two cooks plus six foragers, two engineers, two pilots, two drivers, one cartographer, a steward, a communications expert, someone in charge of the journal, eight porters, five mountain climbers, five divers, two armed bodyguards, and a captain for the expedition that will find the secret instructions written 6000 years ago on stone tablets by the Mayas.
Why are demolition experts and dominatrixes alike?
They both like wrecking b**...
The experts recommend putting a baby monitor in the nursery with your baby.
Turns out they don't mean the lizard.
medina spirit was disqualified for a second failed drug test
experts described the horse's u**... sample as "funky, cold"
Why do exterminators make for good programmers?
They're experts in debugging!
Top Biblical experts have reached the conclusion that Adam and Eve were Soviet citizens
They had no clothes, one apple between the two of them and they thought they were in paradise.
Covid medical "experts" are such liars. They said masks and gloves were all you needed if you had to go shopping
But when I got to the store everyone else had clothes on.
Did you hear about the crossword experts that prevented a group of people from jumping off a bridge?
They got 6 Down and 3 Across.
The owners of a 'Happy Days' themed restaurant are being investigated for fraud for paying existing investors with new investors money.
Experts are referring to it as the world first Fonzie Scheme.
