The Best 54 Experiment Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Experiment jokes. There are some experiment endeavor jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these experiment conduct puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 Funniest Experiment Jokes and Puns
I said to my girlfriend, "Do you want to experiment with a role-play rape fantasy?"
She said, "**NO!**"
I said, "*That's the spirit!*" —Jimmy Carr
What do you call when a female physicist decides to try dating women for a change?
The double slit experiment.
Have you ever wondered whether it is your dog or your wife who is your real friend?
Yes? Well if you have, just try this experiment...
Put your dog and your wife in the boot of the car for an hour.
When you open the trunk, which one is really happy to see you?
You may not be aware of it, but NASA conducted an experiment during the Apollo mission days.
They launched a collection of cows into orbit on a prototype rocket.
It was a herd shot round the world.
the three legged pig joke reminded me of a joke my dad once told me
a scientist was doing an experiment on a frog in his lab, he placed the frog down on the floor and said "Frog jump!". the frog jumped 4 feet and so he noted in his notebook
"frog with 4 legs, jumps 4 feet"
he then cut off one of the frogs legs and again said "Frog jump!". the frog jumped only 3 feet this time and so he noted in his notebook
"frog with 3 legs, jumps 3 feet"
he cut off a 2nd leg and said "Frog jump!". this time the frog only jumped 2 feet and so he noted
"frog with 2 legs, jumps 2 feet"
he then cut off a 3rd leg and again said "Frog jump!". the frog only jumped a foot and so he noted
"frog with 1 leg, jumps 1 foot"
the scientist then cut off the frogs last remaining leg and said "Frog jump!, Frog jump!, FROG JUMP!!!!!" but the frog did not move. so he noted
"frog with 0 legs, deaf"
A guy sees a sign that says, "Volunteers needed for medical experiment. $500 fee!"
So he goes in and they tell him they need humans to mate with gorillas. The guy thinks about it for a second, then says, "I'll do it under three conditions:
1) No one can find out that I did this.
2) If there are any offspring, they should be treated humanely.
3) I'm gonna need some time to come up with the $500."
I blew up my chemistry experiment
Oxidants happen.
The whole "Pavlov's Dog Experiment" is such a load of bunk I'm sick of people bringing it up...
...at this point just *hearing* the name "Pavlov" makes me mad.
A team of particle physicists ran an experiment for the entire year,
and the detector reported exactly fifty two events which they were looking for. They published a research paper called "Weekly interacting particles".
Why was a physicist unable to do the double slit experiment?
His wife didn't want a threesome.
How many feminists does it take to screw a lightbulb?
One to screw it in and nine to write on their blogs about how enlightening the experiment was.
You can explore experiment scientific reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean experiment attempt dad jokes. There are also experiment puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I was recently asked to be a part of a biological experiment. The researchers said they would mutate me with an extra chromosome and give me $10 000 for it.
I'm down.
Wife or Girlfriend
A physicist, a mathematician and a computer scientist discuss what is better: a wife or a girlfriend. The physicist: "A girlfriend. You still have freedom to experiment." The mathematician: "A wife. You have security." The computer scientist: "Both. When I'm not with my wife, she thinks I'm with my girlfriend. With my girlfriend it's vice versa. And I can be with my computer without anyone disturbing me..."
My girlfriend said we should experiment more in the bedroom
This morning we synthesised a new protein chain
Wife calls her scientist husband...
"Honey.. Its Saturday.. you're late..."
"I'm busy with my team in an experiment"
"Whats that?"
"We've just added a derivative of C2H5OH with ambiant temperature H2O and aqueous CO2. To cool this mixture added some super low temperature, solidified H2O, now while waiting for some protein, we are fumigating the lab with vapours of nicotine...
It's 4 or 5 round experiment.. So I will be late."
"Oh dear.. I won't disturb you. Take your time.."
A group of scientists run an experiment on a frog
They teach it to jump on command by using flies as treats. Now when they say "Jump" the frog jumps.
Then they chop off one leg. They say "Jump" and the frog jumps in a crooked path. So far so good.
Finally, they chop off the other leg. They say "Jump" and the frog does not jump.
It has been concluded that frogs cannot hear without their legs.
The density of Saturn is so low that the whole planet would float on the water in your bath.
However, you wouldn't want to try this experiment at home as it would leave a massive ring around the tub.
Yo moma is so stupid....
she could observe the particles in the double slit experiment and still get an interference pattern
Ranchers in Colorado are conducting a crucial experiment on the environmental sustainability of using hemp as a feed source for cattle.
The steaks have never been higher.
Experiment made by Russian scientist Vazilikyev Karaazuruvsky reveals shocking information
Nobody reads Russian names
Not many people knew that Albert Einstein had a brother that an evil scientist used to experiment on.
His name was FrankEinstein
My boyfriend and I both drive Hondas.
He's got one of those boxy ones, and mine is a mid-size sedan. And neither of us has our own place, so we mostly end up just having sex inside the car. His is a little bigger, so we usually use his.
Recently, however, he's been wanting to experiment a little bit, and he's saying we should try some things out while having sex on top of his car, instead of inside it.
But if I'm gonna have sex with my boyfriend in a way that's out of his Element, it will have to be on my own Accord.
Theoretically a goat can get impregnated by a moth.
Scientists have never attempted the experiment however, as they don't want to create more goth kids.
A mom caught her son jacking in the garage...
...she said to him, "Look son, I know you are at the age where you are curious and want to experiment with these kinds of things.... but please stop trying to remove the wheels of the car!"
I spilled all of my peroxynitrite in the middle of an experiment
I was like : " ONOO^- "
I have been experimenting with drugs for many years, and my colleagues and I agree.
The results are highly inconclusive, and further research is necessary
Did you hear about the science experiment where they successfully transferred human DNA into a dog?
They say the scientist spent too much time in the lab.
My gay best friend and I started calling ourselves "Lab partners"
Sometimes we like to experiment.
A group of professors are on a plane.
A group of professors are on a plane as an experiment. They were told that the plane was made by their students. Naturally everyone panicked, their students were not the brightest people. However there was one professor who did not show any sings of fear. When they asked him why he replied "how can i be worried if the plane won't even take off."
What do you call it when a scientist tries to get laid?
A thot experiment.
A group of scientists conducted an interesting experiment on frogs.
They wanted to see how cutting off the legs of frogs would affect them.
In one of the experiments, a scientist told the frog to jump. It didn't.
The scientists concluded that cutting off the legs of frogs would make them deaf.
I saw two lesbian quantum physicists in a super position.
It was a double-slit experiment.
I overheard two people having a argument about vaccines.
Guy 1: How could people even think that vaccines are harmful?
Guy 2: Well when I was young my parents did an experiment they got me vaccinated and my twin was vaccination free.
Now I have had many sicknesses while my brother had almost none!
Guy 1: Wait I never knew you had a twin.
Guy 2: Oh yes I did, but he died when we where young.
My wife said she wants to experiment more in the bedroom
Unfortunately, it looks likeI'm in the control group.
So a group of students recently did an experiment with results that showed zucchinis can actually improve your memory...
That's great and all but I just feel sorry for the guy who had to get a zucchini shoved up his ass because he's never gonna forget it.
Day 19 of the experiment...
"Day 19 of the experiment, I have successfully conditioned my master to give me food,smile,and write in his book every time I drool." - Pavlov's Dog
A scientist is looking to conduct an experiment using dolphins
He goes to the pet store and asks the clerk if they have any dolphins
The clerk responds We don't have any dolphins, but would a whale work?
The scientist responds No thank you, that defeats the porpoise
A priest is up giving a sermon one Sunday morning
The priest tries a experiment. He tells everyone stand up all those who want to go to heaven! And everyone stands up. He then tells them to sit back down. Then he says stand up all those who want to go to hell and one man stands up, Murphy. So the priest says Murphy why on earth do you want to go to hell? Murphy replied oh no father, I don't want to go to hell, I couldn't bear to see ya standing up there by yourself
Write it down it's a good one!
I've been experimenting recently with nighttime hunting
But I'm used to hunting in the daytime so this is just a shot in the dark
A mathematician And an engineer decided to take part in an experiment.
They were both put in a room and at the other end was a naked woman on a bed. The experimenter said that every 30 seconds they could travel half the distance between themselves and the woman. The mathematician stormed off, calling it pointless. The engineer was still in. The mathematician said Don't you see? You'll never get close enough to actually reach her. The engineer replied, So? I'll be close enough for all practical purposes.
A man thinks that his wife is losing her hearing
He is getting very frustrated with her because of it, but she denies it when he confronts her about it. So one day he decides to set up an experiment to prove it to her.
He takes her out to the field behind their house and he places his wife at 100 yards away from him and shouts Dolores! He waits for her response, but nothing comes.
He moves 50 yards closer and shouts Dolores! Still no response from her.
Finally he moves 5 feet away from her and shouts Dolores!
What?! She cries For the third time WHAT?!?
My son is doing a social experiment for school.
He plans on wearing an "I love Liberals" shirt out in public and will be recording the interactions with others. So far he has been cussed at, spit at, slapped, and even threatened. Im afraid what will happen when he actually leaves the house.
Scientists planned to verify if Schroedingers thought experiment prevails on Mars
but sadly Curiosity killed the cat, rendering the experiment futile.
In chemistry class the experiment called for 36 grams of the 83rd element on the periodic table. I could see that the girl next to me had weighed out 42 grams. When I told her she was getting a bit heavy she said....
I should mind my own bismuth.
My sister is taking part in a social experiment. She has to wear a Boris is doing his best t-shirt for 2 weeks and see how people react. So far she's been spit on, punched and had a bottle thrown at her!
I'm curious to see what happens when she goes outside.
Farming experiment
A poultry farmer walks into a bar and orders a white wine spritzer. "Hey Bob," the bartender says. "How's your chicken cross-breeding experiment going this week?" "Pretty good," the farmer replies. "I crossed a chicken with a duck. Now I have a chicken that lays down."
My son is taking part in a social experiment.
He has to wear a support Arsenal. T.Shirt for 2 weeks.
So far, he has been punched, spat at, kicked, and verbally abused.
It will be interesting to see what happens when he leaves the house.
A physicist and an engineer agree to take part in an experiment.
They are shown into a room where a naked woman is lying on a bed on the other side of the room and told they can cross half the distance between them and the woman every minute.
The physicist throws up his hands and turns away.
The engineer walks halfway across the room.
"You fool!" says the physicist. "Don't you realise you will never actually reach her?"
"That's okay," says the engineer. "Pretty soon I will be close enough for all practical purposes!"
Stupid joke I just made up...
There was a pair of twins called Harold and Aruld who decided to do a social experiment. Harold would act all nice, polite and friendly, whereas Aruld would act rude, outspoken and brash. They went into a few stores and conversed with some customers and staff, and afterwards a representative went in to ask who, out of the two they preferred. Strangely, Harold didn't get a single vote.
London's a weird place...
A new experimental punishment for child molesters involves chaining them to electricity-producing machines and having them work 24/7
Researcers hope to be able to generate multiple pedowatts of power.
i was excited when i was asked to participate in experiment about regular sex and its effects on mental health
being in control group definitely make me depressed
My son is taking part in a social experiment where he has to wear a t-shirt saying "GO VEGAN" for 2 weeks and see how people react.
So far, he has been punched, spit on and a bottle thrown at him!
I'm curious to see what happens when he goes outside.
Experiment 1 :
take a white male pigeon, tell it to fly, it flies away
Experiment 2 :
take a white male pigeon, remove its beak, tell it to fly, it flies away
Experiment 3 :
take a white male pigeon, remove its wings, tell it to fly, it doesn't fly away
Conclusion :
After removing their wings, white male pigeons become deaf
My cloning experiment is finally a success.
I'm so excited; I'm beside myself!
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the experiment test jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working experiment trial piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.