Expensive Restaurant Jokes
19 expensive restaurant jokes and hilarious expensive restaurant puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about expensive restaurant that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Expensive Restaurant Short Jokes
Short expensive restaurant jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The expensive restaurant humour may include short expensive jokes also.
- My girlfriend told me to treat her like a princess So I took her to Paris.
We went to wonderful restaurants and stayed in an expensive hotel.
Then I crashed our car in a tunnel and she died. - I went to a expensive restaurant last night and I got a meal and a bottle of champagne for free. They do it for everyone who jumps out of the toilet window and runs off.
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Expensive Restaurant One Liners
Which expensive restaurant one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with expensive restaurant? I can suggest the ones about expensive wine and expensive car.
- What do you call an expensive restaurant? Dine & Whine
- I went to a cannibal restaurant last night... Very expensive - $50 a head
Expensive Restaurant Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about expensive restaurant you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean themed restaurant jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make expensive restaurant pranks.
The wife and I walked passed a swanky, expensive restaurant last night.
She said "The aroma of their cooking from there is absolutely gorgeous"
Being a spontaneous sort of guy, I thought I would treat her. So I turned her around and we walked past it again.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I wouldn't say Scotsmen are cheap but...
A Scotsmen and a Jewish man were having a magnificent meal at one of the most expensive restaurants in The world. After the meal their waiter came over to present the check and a Scottish voice said "that's all right laddie just g**... the check to me".
Headlines in the local newspaper next day read: "Jewish ventriloquist found beaten to death".
A fine-looking gentleman sat down in...
...the main dining room of an expensive restaurant. He ordered a big dinner and spent an hour enjoying himself.
After he was given the check, he summoned the headwaiter. "Ah, my friend," he said, "that was a delicious meal! Perhaps you don't remember that I was a guest at this same table just about a year ago. And at that time I couldn't pay the check, so you, sir had me thrown out in full view of all the other diners!"
"I am so sorry, sir" said the head waiter. "But, you understand-"
"Oh it's quite all right," interrupted the gentleman, "but I'm afraid I'll have to trouble you again."
First Date
A college student picked up his date at her parents home. He'd scraped together every cent he had to take her to a fancy restaurant. To his dismay, she ordered almost everything expensive on the menu. Appetizers, lobster, champagne...the works. Finally he asked her, "Does your Mother feed you like this at home?" "No," she said, "but my Mother's not looking to get laid, either."
See to find out
I was sitting on my own in a restaurant, when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note, I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pocket. I wrote back, Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone.
Old Mr. Blaustein goes to a restaurant..
he eats an expensive meal, drinks the best wine on the list and when it comes to paying the bill he leaves only 5 dollar tip.
The waiter keeps his face but can't help himself uttering "Yesterday your son ate here and he left 50 dollar tip!"
"Of course", says the old Blaustein, "he is the son of an american millionaire, but I am the son of a latvian truck driver"
Luck
"How did you find your steak?" asked the waiter of a patron in the very expensive restaurant. "Just luck," the hungry man replied, sadly. "I happened to move that small piece of potato, and there it was!"
So a pianist and his girlfriend go on a date to a restaurant.
They both order some exquisite and expensive food, and when it comes time to play their bill, the girlfriend offers to pay. Problem is, she forgot all her money and she asks if the pianist can pay for it. I can't, he says. I'm Baroque.
A woman walks into a restaurant...
...and says "Waiter, what is the meal of the day?".
The waiter says "We have the duck today, madam. But the whole thing is very expensive."
The woman says "Fine, just send me the bill".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
s**... to a man is like hunger. If he can't get into an expensive French restaurant, he will go to McDonalds.
The rich guy and a beggar...
A rich guy gets off his limo and walks to a beggar.
"Hi, I'm John, and you are...?"
"I'm God!" replied the beggar.
"No, seriously, you can't be God! What's your real name!"
And they keep arguing until the rich guy says "Alright, if you prove me you're God, I'll give you a million bucks!"
"Fine" said the beggar and asked the rich guy to follow him into the most expensive restaurant in the area. The waitress looks at the beggar and says: "Oh my God! You're back again!"
A fine wine
The Navajo woman accepted my offer of a lift to the reservation, but didn't seem inclined to say much more. I noticed a look of ill-disguised disapproval as she got in the car, lingering for a moment on my exposed cleavage, but that was all – she gazed stonily ahead while the car pulled away, leaving a trail of hot Nevada dust in the rear view mirror.
After a few failed attempts at small talk, and my knowledge of her culture exhausted, I kept quiet, and concentrated instead on the evening ahead: a quick bath before Jim returned from work, followed by a dinner with Michael, his boss, at Bon Vivant, the new French restaurant.
The Navajo woman eyed the silk-wrapped bottle of expensive Cabernet Sauvignon I'd bought, as it rattled gently on the dashboard, and said, 'What is in parcel?'
Though a bit surprised by her directness, I was pleased at the conversation, and I replied, 'A bottle of wine – I got it for my husband.'
She nodded thoughtfully, seeming to approve, and then replied, 'A good trade.'
Three women started boasting about their sons...
"What a birthday I had last year!" exclaimed the first. " My son, that wonderful boy, threw me a big party in a fancy restaurant. He even paid for plane tickets for my friends."
"That's very nice, but listen to this," said the second. "Last winter, my son gave me an all-expense-paid cruise to the Greek islands. First class."
"That's nothing!" interrupted the third. "For five years now my son has been paying a psychiatrist $150 an hour, three times a week. And the whole time he talks about nothing but me."