Expensive Hotel Jokes
8 expensive hotel jokes and hilarious expensive hotel puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about expensive hotel that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Share These Expensive Hotel Jokes With Friends
Expensive Hotel Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good expensive hotel joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
My girlfriend told me to treat her like a princess
So I took her to Paris.
We went to wonderful restaurants and stayed in an expensive hotel.
Then I crashed our car in a tunnel and she died.
A husband and wife are checking out of a hotel
Receptionist: "That will be $400, sir"
Husband: "But we only stayed one night! Why is it so expensive???"
Receptionist: "We are a 5 star hotel, sir, with a world class private golf course and one of the finest spas in the country."
Husband: "But we didn't use the golf course, and we didn't go to the spa!"
Receptionist: "I understand, sir, but it was there if you wanted to."
The husband pulls out $100 and hands it to the receptionist.
Receptionist: "excuse me, sir, but you're $300 short"
Husband: "The cost for sleeping with my wife is $300"
Receptionist: "I did not sleep with your wife!!!"
Husband: "I understand, but she was there if you wanted to."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
EA to donate 50% of profits from future titles to starving children around the world.
After they make them purchase the postage, packing materials, fuel for the planes, silverware, plates, drinking cups, seasonings, construct hand out facilities, eating establishments, refuse disposal, environmental studies on said refuse disposal, labor costs and finally any and all expenses from Frank Gaybeau's c**... induced, hotel filled, 5 figure by the hour e**... stuffed full on satanic o**... fest.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Jewish congregation...
in New York honors its Rabbi for 25 years of service by sending him to Hawaii for a week, all expenses paid.
When he walks into his hotel room, there's a beautiful girl, n**..., lying on the bed. She says, "Hi, Rabbi, I'm a little something extra that the president of the board arranged for you."
The Rabbi is incensed. He picks up the phone, calls the President of the Temple Board and says, "Greenberg, what were you thinking? Where's your respect? I am the moral leader of our community! I am very angry with you and you have not heard the end of this."
The girl gets up and starts to get dressed.
The Rabbi turns to her and says, "Where are you going? I'm not angry with you."
An act of Kindness....
A travel agent looked up from his desk to see an older lady and an older gentleman peering in the shop window at the posters showing the glamorous destinations around the world.
The agent had had a good week and the dejected couple looking in the window gave him a rare feeling of generosity.
He called them into his shop and said, "I know that on your pension you could never hope to have a holiday, so I am sending you off to a fabulous resort at my expense, and I won't take no for an answer."
He took them inside and asked his secretary to write two flight tickets and book a room in a five star hotel.
They, as expected, gladly accepted the offer, and were on their way.
About a month later the little lady came in to his shop."And how did you like your holiday?" he asked eagerly.
"The flight was exciting and the room was lovely," she said. "I've come to thank you.
But, one thing puzzled me.
"Who was that old guy I had to share the room with?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An older couple goes to the doctor
and asks the doctor if he can watch them have s**.... The doctor, confused a bit, agrees and the couple goes at it.
When they're done the doc says, "I can't see anything wrong. You both seemed to be enjoying yourselves and it doesn't look like either of you was in distress." The couple thanks him and leaves.
This continues every week for a few weeks and finally the doctor just has to ask why they're coming to his office to have him watch them have s**....
"Well, doc," the man says, "she lives with her daughter who is a stay-at-home mom with a young child, so there's no privacy. I live in a nursing home but just got a roommate, so there's no privacy. A hotel is too expensive, but Medicare takes care of your bill."
An Indian cab driver picked up a Japanese man from a hotel.
Along the way, they saw a Honda motorcycle overtake the taxicab and the Japanese guy said, "Motorcycle very fast, made in Japan." Then a Toyota car overtook the taxicab and the Japanese guy said, "Car very fast, made in Japan." When they reached the destination the fare was 1500 rupees. The Japanese man thought the ride was would only cost 500 rupees. He asked the driver why the ride was so expensive. The driver said, "Meter very fast, made in India."
An Indian cab driver picked up a Japanese man from a hotel.
Along the way, they saw a Honda motorcycle overtake the taxicab and the Japanese guy said, "Motorcycle very fast, made in Japan." Then a Toyota car overtook the taxicab and the Japanese guy said, "Car very fast, made in Japan." When they reached the destination the fare was 1500 rupees. The Japanese man thought the ride was would only cost 500 rupees. He asked the driver why the ride was so expensive. The driver said, "Meter very fast, made in India."
Share These Expensive Hotel Jokes With Friends