Expecting Mom Jokes
13 expecting mom jokes and hilarious expecting mom puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about expecting mom that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Expecting Mom Short Jokes
Short expecting mom jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The expecting mom humour may include short expectant mother jokes also.
- After your mom and me, I didn't expect the protection to break. Sorry when I scold you, I'm just correcting mistakes
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Expecting Mom Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about expecting mom you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean new mom jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make expecting mom pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The best in town!
Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to the counter, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your mom's the best s**... in town!" Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end. Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at the same guy, and says, "I just did your mom, and it was sw-eeeeet!" Again, the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk goes back to the far end of the bar. Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, "Your mom liked it!" Finally, the guy interrupts. "Go home, dad, you're drunk.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A poor guy sitting in a bar
Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your mom's the best s**... in town!"
Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end. Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back,
points at the same guy, and says, "I just did your mom, and it was sw-e-et!"
Again the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk goes back to the far end of the bar. Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, "Your mom liked it!"
Finally the guy interrupts. "Go home, Dad, you're drunk!"
Hydrogen asks his parents, Sodium and Potassium if he can go to a party.
First, he asks his mom, Sodium. He knows that she is very strict and she will probably say no.
"Na," she says, exactly what he expects
He decides to ask his dad. He is much less strict, and was in a good mood. Maybe he can let Hydrogen go to the party.
"k," he says
Jewish man calls his mom. "Mama, I have good news and bad news..."
Mother, ever the optimist: "Give me the bad news."
Man: "I can't live a lie anymore. I'm gay."
Mother, a traditional conservative woman, after the wailing and the gnashing of teeth that was expected of her by her son, regains her composure and asks: "Well, what's the good news?"
Man: "So I met this nice Jewish doctor..."
Moms be like...
A man received two sweaters for Christmas from his mother.
The next time he visited her, he made sure to wear one of the two sweaters.
As he entered her home, instead of the expected smile...
she said,
"What's the matter? You didn't like the other one?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Mom calls her son
Mom: Son where are you?!
Son: In the s**... club mom.
Mom: Well did you see something you shouldn't have?
Son: Expect n**... women, only one thing.
Mom: Your dad?
Son: My sister.
May Sound like a Joke to Some
Husband comes home drunk and breaks some crockery,
vomits and falls down on the floor...
Wife pulls him up and cleans everything.
Next day wen he gets up he expects her to be really angry wid him....
He prays that they should not have a
fight..
He finds a note near the table...
"Honey..your favorite breakfast is ready on the table,
i had to leave early to buy grocery...
i will come running back to you, my love.
I love you. ...
He gets surprised and asks his son..,
'what happened last night..?
Son told...,"
when mom pulled you to bed and tried
removing your boots and shirt..
you were dead drunk and you said......
" Hey Lady ! Leave Me Alone...
I M Married !!!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A few guys are drinking at a bar.
A few guys are drinking at a bar when a drunk guy walks in, staggers up to them, and then points to one of them, shouting "Your mom's the best s**... in town!" Everyone is expecting a fight, but the guy he pointed at ignores him, so the drunk leaves and goes to the other side of the bar.
Fifteen minutes later, the drunk comes back and says, "I just did your mom, and man, was it hot!" The guy again refuses to fight, so the drunk wanders off again.
Fifteen minutes later, the drunk comes back and announces, "Your mom liked it!" Finally, the guy responds. "Go home Dad, you're drunk."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"I just did your mom, and it was sw-eeeeet!"
Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to the counter, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your mom's the best s**... in town!" Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end. Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at the same guy, and says, "I just did your mom, and it was sw-eeeeet!" Again, the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk goes back to the far end of the bar. Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, "Your mom liked it!" Finally, the guy interrupts. "Go home, dad, you're drunk. ♦◊♦◊♦◊♦
This was the first dirty joke my mom ever heard -said when she was 16 by my grandfather who loved a good joke.
A old man is walking down the street when he sees a beautiful young woman in a dress walking towards him. As he approaches her, a gust of wind blows her skirt up over her head. Frantically she pushes the fabric back down into place and turns a little red from embarrassment. Not wanting to cause further distress and hoping to make light of the situation, the old man calls out, "Airy, ain't it?"
Angry, the woman yells back, "What did you expect?? Feathers?!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Your mom's the best lay in town
Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, *Your mom's the best lay in town.*
Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him and the drunk wanders off and stands at the far end of the bar.
Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points to the same guy, and says, *I just s**... your mom, and it was swe-e-et!*
Again the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk wanders off. Ten minutes later he comes back and announces, *Your mom even let me...* Finally the guy interrupts: *Go home, Dad - you're drunk!*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Mom had kidney stones.
The expecting mother had a kidney stone during her pregnancy of her daughter but the stone somehow moved into the fetus, it lived in the girl until she was 12 when it came out during a pee.
She had another daughter and the same thing happened with the kidney stone and again she had a pee at 12 and it came out.
She then had a boy and again he had her kidney stone and when he was 12...."Mom! you'll never guess what happened?"
"Did you pee out the kidney stone?"
"What? no, I was m**... and I shot the dog!"