Expand Jokes
32 expand jokes and hilarious expand puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about expand that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Expand Short Jokes
Short expand jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The expand humour may include short extended jokes also.
- Please refrain from calling an expanded gut on a man Dad Bod … It is more accurately defined as a Father Figure.
- So Toys-R-Us has begun to expand into inner city areas. But they've had to change the name to We-B-Toys.
- When you think about time on the cosmic scale, an infinitely expanding past and future... 60 seconds seems pretty minute.
- So the local Spandex store just closed The local spandex store closed down...
... I guess they couldn't expand - I've been reading this farmer's autobiography and just got to the part where he expands his carrot farm. The plot thickens.
- After learning physics I finally got it You know how when things heat up, they expand?
That means I'm not fat, I'm hot. - Sources say Amazon to invest in maternity wards in hopes of expanding their delivery services.
- What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question, a superfluously expanded vocabulary, and a blatant disregard for previously established axioms? A punchline.
- It is a proven Scientific fact, that things expand when under immense heat... I'm not fat, I'm really hot
- Your mother is the hottest! Everyone knows your mother is the hottest...
Because heat expands...
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Expand One Liners
Which expand one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with expand? I can suggest the ones about extension and spread.
- What is 4 inches long and expands when there's a women in a running shower? A sponge
- What's small, very limited, and rarely expands? The Xbox one's exclusives library.
- My wife told me she wanted to widen her range of action. So I expanded the kitchen.
- Why does the universe expand?.... All the Milky Ways. You get it.
- What's hot dense but ever expanding? The Kardashians
- Physics 101: Heat expands objects.. You're fat.. you're hot
- How do you expand recycling to other places? Create a discord server.
- The population of Ireland keeps expanding exponentially It just keeps Dublin and Dublin
- Girl, are you the New Deal? Because I can feel my infrastructure expanding.
- We live in an expanding universe.
All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris. - The Universe is not expanding.
It's running away from Chuck Norris. - Internet providers are expanding to other services
- Wanna expand my polynomial?
- Alcohol not only expands the blood vessels but also communications.
- The universe expands because the stars believe this way will be safer from Chuck Norris.
Hilarious Fun Expand Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about expand you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean increase jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make expand pranks.
A man who made tie-dyed shirts was trying to borrow money to expand his business.
While filling out the documents, he had a heart attack and collapsed, spilling bottles of dye all over his paperwork. The poor man dyed a loan.
Do you want to see my skeleton collection?
I currently only have 1, and I'm not looking to expand.
Terrorists have been saying they'll horizontally expand images of their foes.
The threat is being blown out of proportion.
My dad wanted to expand his bar to access more customers
I advised him to make it a gay bar and flip the stools upside down. that way the seating is quadrupled.
When I was a kid, in the second grade, my parents began teaching me to expand my vocabulary so I didn't sound "dumb"
Nowadays parents only have show their children memes of Donald Trump
My brother is allergic to the word 'cheese'. If you say it he would swell and expand like a balloon.
We have some very weird family photos.
What jokes do you tell when someone asks a group of people "so does anyone know any good jokes?"
Not making a joke, just would like to expand my repertoire for the next time I'm in this situation.
To expand their business, CNN and NBC build airports.
As usual, a lot of things fly over their heads.
Only a matter of time
A science teacher was teaching her class about the sun. In 5 billion years, she said, our sun is going to expand and become a red giant, and all life on earth will die out from the intense heat. All of a sudden a little boy starts crying. What's wrong? she asked, It's not for another five billion years!
Oh, replied the boy, wiping the tears from his eyes, I thought you said million.
A professor gives his psychology class a pop quiz. . .
One question he asks is, "What part of the human anatomy may expand up to ten times under certain circumstances?" He picks a rather overdressed girl in the front row to answer it. "Miss Callahan!" The indicated girl, who heard the question, stammers with some embarrassment: "Professor, I'd rather not answer that question." The professor says, "That's all right, Miss Callahan, you don't need to answer it. Is there anyone present who can answer it?" He notes an interested face in the back of the classroom. "Mr. Hawkins!" Hawkins says, "Yes, Professor, it is the pupil of the eye that may expand to ten times." The professor says, "That is correct, Mr. Hawkins." Then he turns to Miss Callahan. He says, "Young lady, two things are obvious from your reaction to this question. One, you haven't studied this week's assignment; and Two, I'm afraid marriage is going to be a tremendous disappointment to you."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Biology Lesson
Dr Adams is holding forth to his college students on biology and anatomy. "Miss Baker, can you tell me which part of the human body can expand by up to 10 times, and under what conditions?"
Miss Baker blushes furiously, and says, "That is not an appropriate question to ask a lady, and I will report you to the Dean."
Dr Adams just nods and says, "Miss Conrad, same question."
Miss Conrad stands and says, "The pupil of the eye, under dim light."
Dr Adams nods again and says "Correct, full marks for Miss Conrad." Then he turns and says, "Miss Baker, I can tell you three things. First, you have not studied. Second, you have a dirty mind. Third, you are going to suffer a grave disappointment."
