Exorcist Jokes
59 exorcist jokes and hilarious exorcist puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about exorcist that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Exorcist Short Jokes
Short exorcist jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The exorcist humour may include short exorcism jokes also.
- Have you seen the new Exorcist movie? This time it's the devil trying to get the priest out of the child.
- I always wanted to be an exorcist So I studied and worked real hard to become an orcist. Then I quit.
- Have you heard about the sequel to the Exorcist ? In the new version, a woman hires the Devil
to get a priest out of her son. - This is an awfully hard time for me financially. Last month I was unable to pay the bills to my exorcist and as a consequence I have been repossessed.
- If you don't keep up your regular payments to your exorcist... Your home may be repossessed
- The average person has s**... 90 times a year. Man this going to be an epic new years eve!
- The Exorcist star Linda Blair turns 62 today and still looks amazing She is still turning heads.
(Heard this one on the radio this morning.) - I've decided to call my mother-in-law the 'Exorcist' ...because every time she came to visit she'd make all the spirits disappear
- It turns out the town drunk is an exorcist. Since his last visit, there are no more spirits in the liquor store.
- A man so poor... A man is so poor that he is unable to pay his exorcist. As a result he was repossessed.
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Exorcist One Liners
Which exorcist one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with exorcist? I can suggest the ones about supernatural and horror movie.
- What happens when you neglect to pay your exorcist? You get repossessed.
- Always make sure to pay an exorcist in full I didn't, and he repossessed my house
- If you don't pay your exorcist... You may get repossessed.
- Why are all exorcists alcoholics? Because they can't handle their spirits.
- My friend stopped making payments to his exorcist. He was soon repossessed.
- A friend of mine didn't pay his exorcist. He got repossessed
- I always found the movie "The Exorcist" confusing... It made my head spin.
- Have you heard about the new prequel for the exorcist? it's called *the orcist*
- I think my uncle is an exorcist. He always says he's fighting off his demons.
- If you don't keep paying your exorcist... ...your house will eventually be reposessed.
- Banks should start training exorcists. They'll be amazing for repossessing.
- What's an exorcist favorite alcohol? Spirits.
- The kid from the Exorcist got a ticket. For possession.
Happy Halloween. - What's the first thing you should do when you see a bellhop? Call an exorcist
- What did the exorcist say when he saw the d**... possessed alcoholic Holy Shot

Heartwarming Exorcist Jokes that Make You Laugh
What funny jokes about exorcist you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean priest jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make exorcist pranks.
Did y'all hear about the new Exorcist movie? Apparently there's a twist.
The devil comes to take the priest out of the kid.
Mario and Luigi walk into a DVD shop.
Mario holds up a movie.
Is-a that the exorcist? Luigi asked.
This is It, Luigi. Mario replied.
A man moves into a haunted house
After several nights of ghosts keeping him awake with their moaning and moving furniture around the house he calls an exorcist. A priest eventually comes round, performs some incantations, and sprinkles holy water around. The man was grateful for the priest's help with this haunting but says that he has no money on hand to pay him. The priest says "Fret not my son, we can send you a bill. Just pay it off within the month or we'll repossess your house."
My house was being haunted, so my wife and I decided to look up some exorcists.
I found a really good one, but when we met with him, he seemed depressed. My wife found one that seemed much more upbeat. We discussed our options and decided to go with the happy medium.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Exorcist Needed!
After buying a so-called haunted house, the new owner discovers it really was. A n**... poltergeist was terrorizing his family.
Calling around, he finally found a guy willing to do an exorcism for $10,000. The new owner asked for terms and the guy agreed to do it for $1000.00 a month.
He came by and voila! The ghost was gone.
Six months in the new owner was getting tired of making payments so he stopped.
Well, sure enough the n**... ghost was back. Realizing that he had no choice, he called the exorcist and humbly asked him to come back.
The exorcist declined, saying, "No can do. Your house has been repossessed!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I ate something evil and it's killing me...
I don't know whether to get an ex-lax or an exorcist
What happens when you don't pay the exorcist...
You get repossessed.
Nope not mine. May be a repost. If so upvotes to that person.
I learned from 'The Exorcist'
That when it comes to souls, possession is 9/10 of the law.
Changed slightly from a comment made by /u/boobiesucker
what do exorcists and alcoholics have in common?
They both treat their demons with spirits!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a d**... at the gym?
An exorcist.
I recently stopped sending monthly payments to my exorcist...
Because of that my house was repossessed
I bought a car that once belonged to an exorcist.
Unfortunately, it got repossessed.
[OC]
With Halloween approaching, I tried uploading some exorcist videos to YouTube.
They all got demonetized
We call my uncle the exorcist.
Every time he visits, he rids the house of all the spirits.
Years ago, my Mother-in-law began reading, "The Exorcist". She said it was the most evil book she ever read. So evil in fact, she couldn't finish it, took it to the ocean and threw it off the pier.
I went out, but another copy, ran it under the faucet, and left it beside her bed.
"We call hard-drinking Ian an exorcist." "Why?" asks the bartender.
"When he shows up, all the spirits disappear."
What do a stomach pump and an exorcist have in common?
They're both used to remove unwanted spirits from a body.
My friends call me the exorcist...
Because after I leave there are no spirits left in the house
Did you hear about the exorcist who went to Domino's?
Apparently the pizza dough had the Mark of The Yeast.
