Exited Jokes
35 exited jokes and hilarious exited puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about exited that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Exited Short Jokes
Short exited jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The exited humour may include short exits jokes also.
- A Store Manager asked me to move a Kia that was blocking an exit... I told him, "I would, but that's not my Forte."
- There was a fire in a yodelling school. Everyone was to exit in an orderly orderly orderly fashion.
- Y'all ever heard of reverse exorcism? It's when the devil tells the priest to exit the child's body
- My wife told me she would leave me if I didn't stop pointing out ways to exit a room. I said, "OK, there's the door"
- My boss fired me because of my lack of knowledge in regards to the workplace. After a few hours I finally found the exit.
- What do you do when there's a deer next to you, a lion is chasing you, and a pony flees from you? Exit the carousel and avoid further alcohol.
- What did the bishop say after they redid the vestibule with black and white tiles? "It looks nice but now I can only enter and exit diagonally "
- So i went to the record shop and asked the assistant 'What have you got by the Doors? " He said "An exit sign and a fire bucket"
- I don't understand why people are so exited about Halloween People have been wearing masks for more than half a year now
- The ladder A man was trapped in a burning building and a firefighter yelled through the window, "You have two possible exit points, this ladder or the stairs." The man chose the latter. He died.
Share These Exited Jokes With Friends
Exited One Liners
Which exited one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with exited? I can suggest the ones about exit only and departed.
- What do you call a bee hive with no exit? Un-bee-leave-able
- What's the fastest way to lose a few pounds? Exit the european Union.
- I've been using Vim for 5 years... Mainly because I don't know how to exit it
- What do you call a beehive without an exit? Un-bee-leave-able.
- What do you call a beehive without an exit? Unbelievable
- How do you know you're getting old? When you exit a museum, you trigger the alarm.
- Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crumby. - my 4 y.o. daughter
- I am so exited. Only one more lock-down till Christmas.
- I always go the extra mile... because I always miss the exit on the freeway.
- How did Rey exit out of her glitching web browser? Force quit.
- How is the letter C like a road hazard on the freeway? It makes exiting exciting.
- Shakespeare walks into a bar [Exit, pursued by a bear]
- Custom made Exit signs are all the rage these days. But I think they are on the way out.
- Put you best exiting lines here. I'll start: Gonna make like a baby, and head out.
- Exit signs... ...are on the way out...
Happy Exited Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about exited you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean exhausted jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make exited pranks.
One Day a Cowboy Rode into Town
He t**... his horse and entered a saloon
When he exited the saloon, he found his horse missing
The cowboy shouted, "I'm going to go inside for another drink, when I'm done, my horse better be returned. If not, I'll do what I did back in Texas."
The cowboy went back inside the bar, got a drink, and returned to find his horse.
As he saddled up, a man approached him and asked,
"Out of curiosity, what did you do back in Texas?"
The cowboy responded,
"I had to walk home."
P.S. Sorry
The police were called to a female gym...
The female manager ran out to greet the two male officers as they exited their vehicle.
Please, come quickly. She said in horror, We've found a peep hole drilled into the changing room. Some pervert has been watching us!
Don't worry, the policeman said reassuringly, We'll track down the suspect right away. Please tell all the ladies to go back to their exercising. There's nothing to worry about anymore.
The gym manager nodded, relieved, And what about the hole in the wall?
Rest assured The other police officer said, We'll be looking into it
A guy standing in a bus looked at a girl, she looked back
Then he smiled... She smiled back
He winked... She winked back
He gave her a sign to leave on the next stop
She got up and exited the bus. He took her seat.
A preacher trained his horse to go when he said "Thank God" and to stop when he said "Amen"
The preacher mounted the horse and said "Thank God" and went for a ride. When he wanted to stop for lunch , he said " "Amen." He took off again saying "Thank God"
The horse started going toward the edge of a cliff. The preacher got exited and said "whoa! whoa!" Then he remembered and said "Amen" and the horse stopped at the edge of the cliff. The preacher was so relieved and grateful that he looked up to heaven and said "Thank God!"
Three drunk men entered a taxi.
The taxi driver knew that they were drunk, and they didn't give him the destination they wanted so he decided not to drive but instead he wanted to play a trick on them by turning on the engine and staying there for a moment.
A while after doing so, the taxi driver turned the engine off and told the three drunk men they arrived.
The first man handed the driver a handful of pennies as he exited.
The second man gave the driver a $20 bill and said "Thanks".
The third man did not pay the driver, he gave him a little punch on the arm and said, "Don't speed, you almost had us killed."
A theological one for the computer scientists
After the animals exited the ark, the Lord came to the animals and the Lord spoke "Go forth and multiply".
The snakes came to him and said "Oh Lord, we cannot fulfil the commandment, for we are adders"
Thus spoke the Lord "Go and cut down the trees, and out of the trees you shall fashion furniture. For adders can multiply with the aid of log tables"
Three drunk men get in a taxi after leaving the bar.
The driver knew they were drunk, so he started the car and turned it off after ten seconds, saying they had arrived at their destination.
The first man gave him the money and exited the taxi.
The second man thanked him and also left the taxi.
The third man slapped the driver.
The driver was surprised that he noticed and asks him.
To which, the third man says, "Why did you drive so fast?"
A man grows tired of his relationship with his wife
On their 25th anniversary, the man planned a vacation trip.
Man: Let's go on a vacation, just the two of us.
Wife: (gets exited) Really? Where are we going?
Man: How about an adventure in the jungles of Africa?
Wife: That would be really nice! What about on our 50th?
Man: I'll come back for you.
Mary's boyfriend called Mary on her birthday...
Mary - m boyfriend - b
b: hey honey
m: hey
b:do you remember that mall we went to last month?
m : yes?
b : and you saw a jewelry shop there?
m : yes?
b : and you really wanted that ring?
m (starting to get a bit exited) : yes?
b : but we didn't get it cause we couldn't afford it back then?
m (getting really exited) : yes?
b : well, there's a MacDonald's in front of it, you want some nuggets?
I'm usually exited for winter...
But then I get cold feet.
Valentines Night Surprise.
My Wife was all exited when I told her that I had booked a table for Two for Valentines Night, I just hopes she likes Snooker.
A drunk man exited a bar vomiting and almost got some on the timepiece of a police officer who was standing on the street.
The cop said, "not on MY watch"
Phew, don't have to think of a catchy title today
Why is Monica so exited for the next Clinton presidency?
This time she won't have to s**....
Men's Room, Men's Rules
A long line leading to the ladies' room greeted my friend's wife. Since desperate times call for desperate measures, my friend took her into the empty men's room, then stood guard. When she exited a few minutes later, a man waiting his turn called out, I hope you remembered to put up the toilet seat.
I was going to vote in the primary, but I got to the polling place late...
....and I just had to sit in my car until my favorite song, "Tom Sawyer," ended.
But by the time I exited the vehicle, it was too late for me to enter the polling place. I'm really frustrated because it's not the first time that has happened to me.
I'm so sick of Rush's interference in our elections!
Blonde girl got all exited after she finally completed a jigsaw puzzle after 3 years, I said why are you so excited?
She said it says 5 to 8 years on the box...
A guy got a prostate exam
A guy went to get a prostate exam, everything was normal, but as the doctor exited the room a nurse entered, she asked the man "Who was that?"
A bee is about to make love to his wife.
As she's freshening up in the bathroom, he is lying in bed under the covers when he's overcome by a weird sensation. Looking under the covers, he sees his t**... have exited his body, seemingly as if they're about to go for a trip with mini suitcases packed, tiny coats and hats worn. The t**... notice the bee, briefly farewell him with a tip of the cap, and leave the room before he can do anything but gasp.
The bee's wife enters from out the bathroom, notices his shock and asks, "What's the matter?"
"Honey, nuts cheerioed"
