Existential Jokes

Funniest Existential Short Jokes

Short existential jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The existential humour may include short deep philosophical jokes also.

1. If i had a nickel for every existential crisis it wouldn't matter because money is a social construct and existence is meaningless
2. My sister suddenly started sobbing talking about her job prospects with a philosophy degree. I said, Are you having an existential cry, sis?
3. My professor wanted me to write an essay on existentialism... So I passed in a blank sheet of paper
4. Did you hear about the existential crisis at Sea World? Given all the pressure they're under to release their animals, they're fearful of a porpoise-less existence...
   I'll see myself out.
5. Why'd the dog have an existential crisis after his neutering operation? He realized that nutting matters.
6. My girlfriend thinks I'm pretentious She walked in on me reading a book on existential philosophy. She was like "oh my God! Are you for real?" I said "that's what I'm trying to figure out."
7. What did the dolphin say during its existential crisis? I feel that my life has no porpoise.
8. My girlfriend laughed at me for having an existential crisis at 17. Jokes on her. She doesn't even exist!
9. My sister graduated from college over a year ago and is still unemployed... I found her sobbing on the couch so I asked, "having an existential cry, sis?"
10. I was going to write a book about Existential Nihilism... But then I realized that it doesn't even matter.

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Existential One Liners

Which existential one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with existential? I can suggest the ones about philosophical and nihilistic.

1. If I had a dollar for every time I had an existential crisis Would it even matter?
2. What do you call an existential lycanthrope? A whywolf.
3. Did you hear about the existential pirate? Me thinks, therefore me arrrr!
4. Why did the existential nihilist cross the road? Who cares.
5. What does a waffle call his complete existential paradigm shift? His eggo death
6. What did the existential pig say? What ham I?
7. Existentialism? Don't even get me Sartred.
8. What's it called when a Jamaican is scared of death? Existential dreds.
9. Why did Billy go to the Existential Crisis Center? To sartre things out.
10. What do you call a mouse named Bob who's having an existential crisis? Bob.
11. I figured out what X divided by zero equals... An Existential crisis
12. I want to start reading into existentialism But it's hard for me to get sartred
13. I didn't always know about my existential crisis f**.... I just came to derealization.

Existential Crisis Jokes

Here is a list of funny existential crisis jokes and even better existential crisis puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What's the difference between a Benign Cancer Cell and Malignant Cancer Cell? One of them has an existential crisis.
• Why did the aquarium have an existential crisis when the dolphins were released to the wild? It lost its porpoise.
• I gave someone an existential crisis last night. How?
  I confessed my love, and now they wish they never existed.
• If I had a dollar for everytime I had an existential crisis it wouldnt matter because currency is a social construct and life is meaningless.
• My neighbors are worried that I'm having an existential crisis but I don't know what they're so concerned about. It's not like anything matters anyway.
• I told my bully he was just a child having an existential crisis. He said I know you are, but what am I?
• I for one am looking forward to my mid-life crisis. It'll be a nice break from the regular existential crisis I face everyday.
• Today I saw a guy in a store window matching my outfit so I asked him: Are you gay? But ,It was my reflection and I was having a existential crisis
• Did you hear about the electron going through an existential crisis? It thought maybe it was a proton, but it wasn't positive.
• Adopted Friend I feel really bad for my adopted friend. He is going through an existential crisis. Which sort of makes him like his Dad. He doesn't really know who he is.

Delightful Fun Existential Jokes for a Roaring Good Time

What funny jokes about existential you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean spiritual jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make existential pranks.