It would be IX/XI instead.
1. Steve
They mostly forget I exist until they need help from me.
Do Ethiopian kids even exist?
Because you no longer exist
The bartender says, "Why the long face?"
The horse says, "I just realized that I'm a metaphysical concept within a fictional narrative and will cease to exist at the end of this sentence."
You don't exist.
they forget I exist until they want me to do something for them
It's just a pigment of my imagination.
Doesn't exist by definition.
An Israeli tourist is visiting New York and hires a cab to drive him around the city. He engages the driver in small talk to get better acquainted.
"Where are you from?" he asks.
"I'm from Palestine" replies the cab driver, "and you?"
"I'm from Narnia."
"Bullshit, that place doesn't exist" says the cab driver.
"Well, you started it" says the Israeli.
The CIA show up after a few days and release a 6000 word article on the fact that rabbits don't exist.
The FBI show up with a dead rabbit and say in a press release "The rabbit had it coming."
The KGB show up with a bruised and beaten bear. The bear is forced to make a statement "I am a rabbit, my father was a rabbit, and my mother is a rabbit. My whole family are rabbits!" the bear disappears shortly after...
Comrade Stalin, we have so many potatoes that, piled one on top of the other, they would reach all the way to God, the farmer excitedly tells his leader.
But God does not exist, replies Stalin.
Exactly, says the farmer. Neither do the potatoes.
Their called the Alt-Write now
They don't exist
A pigment of your imagination.
He's unbereavable
He engages the driver in small talk to get better acquainted.
"Where are you from?" he asks.
"I'm from Palestine" says the cab driver proudly, "and you?"
"I'm from Narnia."
"Bullshit, that place doesn't exist" says the cab driver.
"Well, you started it" says the Israeli.
...and they saw a £20 note. Who picked it up?
Santa. The other two don't exist.
If god doesn't exist, explain how my girlfriend is pregnant when we've never had sex. Checkmate atheists.
It's just a pigment of your imagination.
Chairman: How does our potato supply look?
Party member: We have so many potatoes that, if they were piled one on top of another, they could reach God.
Chairman: But God does not exist.
Party member: Neither do the potatoes.
Gingerly.
in a class for philosophy, the teacher looks at his class, grabs his chair, places it on his desk and tells the entire classroom about his final.
"You have only one question: use your knowledge that I have taught you in this class and prove to me that this chair doesn't exist. You have until the end of class."
Now while everyone else in the class worked on long complicated answers to his problem, one student got up from his desk almost as soon as it begun. The student smiles and hands the teacher his paper and was off.
The teacher, almost sad that the student didn't even try, looked at the sheet of paper and gave the student an "A"
His answer: What chair?
that being the case, do african children even exist?
Without thinking, Descartes ceases to exist.
The CIA, the FBI and the KGB are competing for the title of the Best Criminal Catcher. They're given a task by the General Secretariat of UN to catch a rabbit in the forest which he'd released. The CIA plants well-trained animal spies throughout the forest, and after 3 months of investigation they conclude the rabbit doesn't exist. The FBI burns down the forest along with the rabbit, and declare that it cannot be helped. When it's KGB's turn, they go into the forest and after 2 hours they come out with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "OK! OK! I give up! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
Racism can't exist if everybody's white.
He said, Steve.
Ans: PASAL, OBOL and BASI
Farm worker: Comrade Stalin, we have so many potatoes that, piled one on top of the other, they would reach all the way to God!
Stalin: But God does not exist.
Farm worker: And neither do the potatoes.
Because not everyone wants a Sony.
Eight divides evenly by 2 or 4.
The bartender says: "would you like a beer?" Descartes replies: "I think not", and he ceases to exist.
How many blonde jokes exist?
One. This one. The rest are all true.
(Sorry for terrible formatting and grammar)
A Philosophy teacher was handing out empty papers for the last exam of the year. The students had one simple task to complete,
They had to convince their teacher that the chair he had placed on the middle of the classroom didn't exist.
After 40 minutes, students returned their answer sheets. All of them had complex sentences and long paragraphs except one.
It had a single sentence.
What chair?
He was the only one to pass the exam.
I enjoy them a lot and they only exist in my dreams
A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together. They get back to his apartment and she notices that his bedroom is completely packed with sweet cuddly teddy bears.
Hundreds of cute small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor, cuddly medium-sized ones on a shelf a little higher, and huge enormous bears on the top shelf along the wall.
The woman is surprised that this guy would have a collection of teddy bears,especially one that's so extensive, but she decides not to mention this to him, and actually is quite impressed by his sensitive side.
She turns to him... they kiss...and then they rip each other's clothes off and make hot steamy love.
After an intense night of passion with this sensitive guy, they're lying there together in the afterglow, the woman rolls over and she asks,
smiling,
"Well, how was it for you?"
The guy says:
"Help yourself to any prize from the bottom shelf."
It is possible that UFOs exist.
They're both dull and pointless.
She's a ten, but on the other hand, she doesn't exist.
Then we have nothing to worry about because Australia doesn't exist
Only Santa Claus, the other 3 don't exist.
That means Jews had to exist for 1,062 years without Chinese Food. They call this time, "The Dark Age."
*noun
the view or theory that the self is all that can be known to exist.*
Not the elf-abet, no; they don't learn anything because they don't exist.
The philosopher responded, "The idea of 'sameness' is a human construct, so 1+1=2 in the sense that the objects one is adding together are the same in his or her mind. As a simple example, one cannot add together an apple and a monkey, but one apple plus another certainly equals two apples because they are the same."
The mathematician responded, "Well, really for numbers to exist, one must actually assume that 1+1=2, then the entire number line can be constructed. It's an axiom."
The accountant gave a wry smile and said, "1+1 eh? Well, what do you want it to equal?"
He wants to see their progress with the latest Five-Year Plan.
'Tell Me Comrade,' he asks one farmer. 'How did the potatoes do this year?'
'Very Well, Comrade Stalin. If we piled them up, they would reach God.'
'But God does not exist, Comrade Farmer'
'Nor do the Potatoes, Comrade Stalin'
Some say that there is a magic mirror in a shopping ladies room that could grant any wish if you tell it the truth, but will make you disappear if you lie in front of it.
Once there was a beautiful brunette that found this mirror and said:
- I've been thinking a lot and I think I'm the hottest brunette on earth!
*puff* and there she ceased of exist.
Then came a heartbreaking redhead and said:
- I've been thinking a lot and I think I'm the hottest redhead on earth!
*puff* and there she goes too.
Then came a blonde, the most pretty girl you can imagine.
- I've been thinking... *puff*
She's the one, but does not exist.
Because she doesn't exist
were walking down a street one day when they came across a magic mirror.
The mirror saw them and spoke " I will grant you each a wish if you can say something truthful about yourself. If you lie, you will cease to exist instead ".
The brunette went up and said " I think I am smart ! " *Poof*, she disappears.
The redhead then went up and said " I think I am beautiful ! " *Poof*, she also disappears.
Finally the blonde's turn comes up and she says " I think *Poof* ...
Because he doesn't exist.
An existentialist, a nihilist and a tired from life cynic walk into a bar. And the bartender says: "Sorry guys, the bar's 18+ only"
The waiter says, "Would you like fries with that, sir?"
Rene Descartes replies, "I think not," and ceases to exist.
He wants to prove all floors exist and are real.
When the topic of jobs comes up.
Man 1: "What do you do for a living?"
Man 2: "I hunt down and kill zombies."
Man 1: "That's crazy! Zombies don't exist!"
Man 2: "Have you ever seen a zombie?"
Man 2: "No..."
Man 1: "You're welcome."
A kid sits up and tries to answer: My dad is a legend for me!
- Why, Billy? asked the teacher.
- Because he doesn't exist!
Atheist : well i don't know for sure but it might be just there from the starting
Christian : Don't be stupid god created the universe
Atheist : so who created god
Christian : no one did he was there from the starting
FFFFF
They might exist, but I wouldn't know.
when the waiter approaches and asks "Would you like some wine?"
"I think not" said Descartes.
Then he ceases to exist.
The dumb blonde does. The other two don't exist.
It's all in your head.
"What? Zombies don't exist."
"You're welcome."
Two, one to change the light-bulb, and one to observe how it symbolizes an incandescent beacon of subjectivity in a netherworld of cosmic nothingness.
This is courtesy of Spencer Reid.(CM)
Jokes on her. She doesn't even exist!
Because they don't exist.
Who cares.
Sorry... Alt-Write.
Astro-knots.
It's no laughing matter
And don't even get me started on the double slit.
That's a bit rich coming from someone who doesn't exist.
For instance, neither of them exist.
Two. One to screw it in and one to observe how the lightbulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
Neither exist.
Would he be called a Massogynist
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Croatia
I said boldly to my boss! But he still fired me for being 3 hours late.
We were talking and she said "I tell my kids Santa doesn't exist, I don't want them to believe in stuff that isn't real."
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