Following is our collection of Exist jokes which are very funny. There are some exist slater jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these exist existence puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
A kid sits up and tries to answer: My dad is a legend for me!
- Why, Billy? asked the teacher.
- Because he doesn't exist!
in a class for philosophy, the teacher looks at his class, grabs his chair, places it on his desk and tells the entire classroom about his final.
"You have only one question: use your knowledge that I have taught you in this class and prove to me that this chair doesn't exist. You have until the end of class."
Now while everyone else in the class worked on long complicated answers to his problem, one student got up from his desk almost as soon as it begun. The student smiles and hands the teacher his paper and was off.
The teacher, almost sad that the student didn't even try, looked at the sheet of paper and gave the student an "A"
His answer: What chair?
How many blonde jokes exist?
One. This one. The rest are all true.
Doesn't exist by definition.
Two, one to change the light-bulb, and one to observe how it symbolizes an incandescent beacon of subjectivity in a netherworld of cosmic nothingness.
This is courtesy of Spencer Reid.(CM)
It is possible that UFOs exist.
When the topic of jobs comes up.
Man 1: "What do you do for a living?"
Man 2: "I hunt down and kill zombies."
Man 1: "That's crazy! Zombies don't exist!"
Man 2: "Have you ever seen a zombie?"
Man 2: "No..."
Man 1: "You're welcome."
Chairman: How does our potato supply look?
Party member: We have so many potatoes that, if they were piled one on top of another, they could reach God.
Chairman: But God does not exist.
Party member: Neither do the potatoes.
Who cares.
Gingerly.
Only Santa Claus, the other 3 don't exist.
You can explore exist subatomic reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean exist nonexistent dad jokes. There are also exist puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
For instance, neither of them exist.
*noun
the view or theory that the self is all that can be known to exist.*
Because not everyone wants a Sony.
That means Jews had to exist for 1,062 years without Chinese Food. They call this time, "The Dark Age."
The CIA show up after a few days and release a 6000 word article on the fact that rabbits don't exist.
The FBI show up with a dead rabbit and say in a press release "The rabbit had it coming."
The KGB show up with a bruised and beaten bear. The bear is forced to make a statement "I am a rabbit, my father was a rabbit, and my mother is a rabbit. My whole family are rabbits!" the bear disappears shortly after...
I enjoy them a lot and they only exist in my dreams
that being the case, do african children even exist?
It's just a pigment of my imagination.
Because he doesn't exist.
Ans: PASAL, OBOL and BASI
An existentialist, a nihilist and a tired from life cynic walk into a bar. And the bartender says: "Sorry guys, the bar's 18+ only"
Astro-knots.
Eight divides evenly by 2 or 4.
Racism can't exist if everybody's white.
She's the one, but does not exist.
Jokes on her. She doesn't even exist!
It's all in your head.
Do Ethiopian kids even exist?
Farm worker: Comrade Stalin, we have so many potatoes that, piled one on top of the other, they would reach all the way to God!
Stalin: But God does not exist.
Farm worker: And neither do the potatoes.
They might exist, but I wouldn't know.
She's a ten, but on the other hand, she doesn't exist.
Sorry... Alt-Write.
The dumb blonde does. The other two don't exist.
Their called the Alt-Write now
They're both dull and pointless.
when the waiter approaches and asks "Would you like some wine?"
"I think not" said Descartes.
Then he ceases to exist.
1. Steve
Not the elf-abet, no; they don't learn anything because they don't exist.
They don't exist
Because she doesn't exist
You don't exist.
they forget I exist until they want me to do something for them
An Israeli tourist is visiting New York and hires a cab to drive him around the city. He engages the driver in small talk to get better acquainted.
"Where are you from?" he asks.
"I'm from Palestine" replies the cab driver, "and you?"
"I'm from Narnia."
"Bullshit, that place doesn't exist" says the cab driver.
"Well, you started it" says the Israeli.
It would be IX/XI instead.
The bartender says: "would you like a beer?" Descartes replies: "I think not", and he ceases to exist.
Comrade Stalin, we have so many potatoes that, piled one on top of the other, they would reach all the way to God, the farmer excitedly tells his leader.
But God does not exist, replies Stalin.
Exactly, says the farmer. Neither do the potatoes.
And don't even get me started on the double slit.
The bartender says, "Why the long face?"
The horse says, "I just realized that I'm a metaphysical concept within a fictional narrative and will cease to exist at the end of this sentence."
He's unbereavable
He wants to prove all floors exist and are real.
...and they saw a £20 note. Who picked it up?
Santa. The other two don't exist.
Because you no longer exist
"What? Zombies don't exist."
"You're welcome."
Atheist : well i don't know for sure but it might be just there from the starting
Christian : Don't be stupid god created the universe
Atheist : so who created god
Christian : no one did he was there from the starting
FFFFF
Without thinking, Descartes ceases to exist.
They mostly forget I exist until they need help from me.
The waiter says, "Would you like fries with that, sir?"
Rene Descartes replies, "I think not," and ceases to exist.
(Sorry for terrible formatting and grammar)
A Philosophy teacher was handing out empty papers for the last exam of the year. The students had one simple task to complete,
They had to convince their teacher that the chair he had placed on the middle of the classroom didn't exist.
After 40 minutes, students returned their answer sheets. All of them had complex sentences and long paragraphs except one.
It had a single sentence.
What chair?
He was the only one to pass the exam.
It's no laughing matter
He wants to see their progress with the latest Five-Year Plan.
'Tell Me Comrade,' he asks one farmer. 'How did the potatoes do this year?'
'Very Well, Comrade Stalin. If we piled them up, they would reach God.'
'But God does not exist, Comrade Farmer'
'Nor do the Potatoes, Comrade Stalin'
If god doesn't exist, explain how my girlfriend is pregnant when we've never had sex. Checkmate atheists.
It's just a pigment of your imagination.
Then we have nothing to worry about because Australia doesn't exist
Because they don't exist.
He said, Steve.
Proving that natural selection does exist
She left me in otter disbelief.
He says, "Oh, hey Rene, you want the usual?". Rene says "Yeah sure. Why the long face?". The horse and bar disappear because they were never, in fact, real and the only thing that definitely did exist was Rene.
You see it's a joke about Rene Descartes, but if I told you that at the beginning I would be putting Descartes before De Horse
He acts like I don't exist, until he wants something.
None, if they're told the lightbulb doesn't exist, it doesn't need changing
I told him, "you will be mist".
Which explains the Stars and Bars of the Confederacy
"Well, you see, God created Adam and Eve..."
"But dad said we came from apes."
"He was talking about his family, I am telling you about mine."
because now you don't exist either.
"Sometimes I wish I was god so I didn't exist"
but then I realized it was just a pigment of my imagination.
And that point, the guy said to me, "Just give me a rough idea of the time, mate."
Because she doesn't exist
Why do they even exist? There's no point.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the exist reside jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working exist machina piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.