Exhaustion Jokes
40 exhaustion jokes and hilarious exhaustion puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about exhaustion that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Need to find a way to beat summertime exhaustion? Look no further! Check out our great collection of jokes and funny quips that began with Sylvia's weary take on heat exhaustion. Laugh it up and gain back some energy!
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Funniest Exhaustion Short Jokes
Short exhaustion jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The exhaustion humour may include short exhausted jokes also.
- If you run in front of a car you'll get tired... But if you run behind the car you'll get exhausted
- I think my local garage is ripping me off... does anyone else think £500 for a tesla exhaust is a lot?
- I am absolutely exhausted from my French self-defense class. I've never run so far in my life.
- New study shows bodies found from the Bermuda Triangle all died from heat exhaustion... ...everyone knows its 180 degrees inside a triangle, I don't know why people even bother traveling through it.
- A clearly exhausted Pao walks into a pub and orders a drink.... The bartender asks "long day?"
"No, all days are 24 hours long" Pao replies, amazed at how uneducated the bartender is. - Mother: I'm exhausted! I was up until 4 am with the baby... Father: It's probably not a good idea to keep the baby up that late....
- Which is better exercise, chasing a car or running away from one? Chasing a car. After running from a car you'll just be tired, but after chasing one you'll be exhausted.
- It's exhausting going down on waitresses... I'm really tired of them asking "How's everything tasting?" 5 seconds in.
- Running with a car If you run in front of a car, you get tired.
If you run in back of a car, you get exhausted. - Confucius Say Confucius say: Man who run behind bus get exhausted. Man who run in front of bus get tired.
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Exhaustion One Liners
Which exhaustion one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with exhaustion? I can suggest the ones about feeling tired and desperation.
- What do you call are car that's out of gas Exhausted
- All last night I dreamed I was a muffler... I woke up exhausted
- I got tired jogging in front of the car So I ran behind it, but soon became exhausted.
- I spent all day replacing the muffler on my car It was exhausting
- I had a terrible nightmare last night that I ate a muffler. Today, I'm so exhausted.
- I felt super exhausted after giving blood. It's such a draining procedure.
- I used to work at a muffler factory It was exhausting.
- Why is the Dutch fly exhausted? Because it netherlands.
- Why do tailpipes get worn out quickly? Because their job is exhausting!
- After the CO2 molecule left the car, it immediately took a nap it was exhausted
- I don't snore, I dream I'm a motorcycle. And that's why I wake up exhausted.
- Are you a car muffler? Because you are exhausting!
- Motorcycles are fast... ...despite being both two tired and exhausted.
- How do you introduce an exhausted red vegetable to a steak? "Beat beet, meet meat."
- Why did bat fly about the car's exhaust It was an autoexec.bat
Heat Exhaustion Jokes
Here is a list of funny heat exhaustion jokes and even better heat exhaustion puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call a black man who dies of heat exhaustion and a white guy that dies of a brain aneurysm? Different Strokes
- Clinton didn't faint due to heat exhaustion... ... she was just doing her steel beam impression.
Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Exhaustion Jokes
What funny jokes about exhaustion you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dehydration jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make exhaustion pranks.
I'm not having much luck with jobs lately.
I couldn't concentrate in the orange juice factory; wasn't suited to be a tailor; the muffler factory was just exhausting; couldn't cut it as barber; didn't have the patience to be a doctor; didn't fit in the shoe factory; pool maintenance was too draining and I just couldn't see any future as a historian.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A college professor reminds her class of the next day's final exam saying, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever"
A guy sitting at the back asks, What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter s**... exhaustion?"
The teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, and says, Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman visits her husband in prison
Before leaving, she tells a correction officer:
"You shouldn't make my husband work like that. He's exhausted!"
The officer laughs, saying:
"Are you kidding? He just eats and sleeps and stays in his own cell!"
"b**...! He just told me he's been digging a tunnel for months!"
Jane and Erica are talking in heaven
"How did you die?" Jane asks Erica.
She replies, "I froze to death."
"Oh, that's terrible!" says Jane.
"It wasn't too bad, after a while you start to get a sort of peaceful feeling, just before you black out. How did you die?"
"Well," she says, "I suspected my husband was cheating so one day I came home early to catch him, but he was just watching TV. So I turned the entire house upside-down looking for another girl, and in the end I got a massive heart attack from exhaustion."
"Too bad you didnt look in the freezer," said Erica, "Or we might both still be alive."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde woman visits her husband in prison.
Before leaving, she tells a correction officer: You shouldn't make my husband work like that. He's exhausted!
The officer laughs and says, Are you kidding? He just eats and sleeps and stays in his cell!
The wife replies: Bullsht! He just told me he's been digging a tunnel for months!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was so exhausted when I went to bed that I slept right through my son and his friends having a r**... w**... and heavy metal party in the yard all thru the night. As the sun came up, the party was still in full swing and my phone had blown up with messages complaining about the noise and the smell.
So I wake up in the morning and I step outside and I take a deep breath and I get real high and I scream from the top of my lungs 'WHAT'S GOIN' ON?'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A desert island with six women
A bloke found himself stranded on a desert island with six women. To keep it fair, it was decided he would service a different woman every night and have Mondays free. After a few months the man was exhausted, realising how tiring it was to perform constantly every night except one. Then one day, to his joy, he found a man washed up on the beach who would be able to take some of the workload from him. However, his hopes were shattered when the man's first words were, "Hi, gorgeous, how about the kiss of life?"
'Oh f\*c**...,' thinks the man, 'there goes Mondays.'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A college teacher reminds her class of the next day's final exam.
Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!
A smart-a**... guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter s**... exhaustion?
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head sweetly.
Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.
Two women are talking in Heaven
One woman asked the other, "how did you die?" The woman replied, "I froze to death." She asked the same question to the other woman, she replied, "I suspected that my husband was cheating on me and looked everywhere in my house for evidence. I couldn't find anything and I dropped dead from exhaustion." The other woman replied "maybe if you had checked the freezer we would both be alive."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A nurse walks into a bank...
A nurse walks into a bank totally exhausted after an 18-hour shift. She grabs a deposit slip, pulls a r**... thermometer out of her purse, and tries to write with it. When she realizes her mistake, she looks at the flabbergasted teller and, without missing a beat, says, "well, that's great...some a**...'s got my pen."
Why don't you run behind a car?
Because you will get exhausted.
Why don't you run on the side of the car?
Because you will get tired,
Why don't you run in front of a car?
Because you will get run over.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Foreign s**...
A man decides he wants to have a one night stand with a foreign girl. So he meets a girl they go to the bedroom. After the first round, the man says to her, You finish? The girl shakes her head, no. So they do it again. Now the man is really tired. So he says, You finish? Again, she shakes her head. So they do it again. By now, the man is exhausted. So he says to the girl, You finish? The girl answers, No, I Norwegian .
A man is walking his pet carrot
As he's walking his pet carrot it gets hit by a car. After rushing to the ER the man paces the waiting room as the doctor comes out exhausted from surgery. Doctor, is my carrot alive are they ok? The doctors sighs. I have good news and bad news. The good news is your pet carrot is alive the man breathes a sigh of relief. What's the bad news doctor? The doctor looks him in the eyes and says Well I'm sorry but, your carrots gonna be a vegetable for the rest of its life.
I know it's dumb it was just of favorite of my grandfathers a long time ago and I thought I'd share it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A college teacher said this about the finals tomorrow.
She said "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tommorow. I might consider something like a car c**..., or trump wins, but that's all. A student in the back of the room asked "What if i was suffering from complete s**... exhaustion?" The whole class laughed, but was silenced when the teacher said "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand"
