Exgirlfriend Jokes
105 exgirlfriend jokes and hilarious exgirlfriend puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about exgirlfriend that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Exgirlfriend Short Jokes
Short exgirlfriend jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The exgirlfriend humour may include short raisin jokes also.
- My ex-girlfriend just told me she wants us to get back together again. MAN, I sure am LUCKY!
I mean, first I win the lottery and now THIS!!! - My ex-girlfriend tried to humiliate me by telling all her friends I was terrible in bed. Imagine her surprise when they all disagreed.
- My stalker ex-girlfriend just threatened to kill herself if I didn't take her back. Isn't it great when problems solve themselves?
- My friend that only dates asian girls just started dating his ex-girlfriend again And I don't know if I should tell him.
- My ex-girlfriend is standing at the opposite end of the museum from me! I want to go say hi but there's just so much history between us.
- I left my ex-girlfriend because of her obsession with counting... I wonder what she's up to now?
- My ex-girlfriend tried to humiliate me by telling all her friends I was terrible in bed. They all disagreed with her though.
- My ex-girlfriend has a tattoo of a seashell on her inner thigh. and if you hold your ear against it, you can smell the sea.
- I ran into my ex-girlfriend the other day... ...then I backed up and ran into her again.
I miss her sometimes. - What do the Twin Towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common? They both went down on my dad.
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Exgirlfriend One Liners
Which exgirlfriend one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with exgirlfriend? I can suggest the ones about excessive and statutory.
- Crazy ex-girlfriends are like a box of chocolate They'll kill your dog
- What does chris brown call a group of his ex-girlfriends? The punch line
- I accidentally sent my ex-girlfriend flowers over the internet. Whoops, e-daises.
- My wife is mad at me because I introduce her as my ex-girlfriend.
- My wife keeps getting mad at me when I introduce her "Hi guys, this is my ex-girlfriend."
- I miss my ex-girlfriend all the time. I really need to work on my aim.
- I bought my ex-girlfriend a new chair... ...but the state won't let me plug it in.
- Mayweather remains unbeaten Unlike his ex-girlfriends.
- My Exgirlfriend Was An Archaeologist. She loved digging up the past.
- Ive spent years searching for my ex-girlfriends killer... But nobody will do it!
- I met my ex-girlfriend at the gym We didn't work out.
- My ex-girlfriend was an opera singer. With her it was always "me me me"
- Why did the pilot ditch his ex-girlfriend? Because she had way too much excess baggage.
- What do my wife and ex-girlfriend have in common? First and last name.
- What do Marylanders call their ex-girlfriends? Old Bay.

Experience Good Cheer with Hilarious Exgirlfriend Jokes and Friends
What funny jokes about exgirlfriend you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean excessively jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make exgirlfriend pranks.
Heard on the radio and could not resist repeating...
"My ex-girlfriend never asked me use a c**...."
"Because she was on the pill."
"Ambien."
My ex-girlfriend made a really great cake the other day
Getting her legs to fit in the oven was a real hassle, though.
What did the necrophile say to his ex-girlfriend?
"I only loved you for your body!"
Ran into my ex the other day.
I ran into my ex-girlfriend the other day. I said that I was recently having s**... and the whole time I kept thinking about her. Oh, do you still love me? she asked. I said, No. It just keeps me from coming too fast.
My ex-girlfriend called me to let me know she had AIDS...
I didn't know how to console her and make her feel better, so I just said, "I know."
My ex-girlfriend and I both went blind before we broke up.
After that, we just couldn't see each other anymore.
My ex-girlfriend said that she misses me all time
She also said that she's taking lessons to improve her aim.
I saw my ex-girlfriend get jumped at a club by two guys this weekend, so I had to jump in
I knew she couldn't take all three of us
I still miss my ex-girlfriend occasionally
Sometimes I'll get to my hiding spot outside her bedroom window just minutes after she's left
Last night I m**... over my ex-girlfriend.
I know it's not right, but she's a heavy sleeper and I still have a key.
What is the difference between my ex-girlfriend and a beer?
One is pale, bitter and starts off with lots of head and the other one is a beer.
I spend 2 years looking for my ex-girlfriends killer...
But so far no one will do it..
Credit to Anthony Jeselnik.
Me and my ex-girlfriend just weren't meant to be together, she was a Capricorn...
and I don't believe in b**...
I met my exgirlfriend while I was attending college...
... I went to the local community college, but she went to the Christian University of North Texas which explains a lot.
My ex-girlfriends all did me dirty like the first 25% of a Netflix loading screen.
I was repeatedly tricked into thinking there was a connection
I miss my ex-girlfriend...
I can't seem to hit her.
My internet connection is just like my Ex-Girlfriend
Unstable
My ex-girlfriend was like an incompetent tailor...
She didn't suit me.
My dog hates me and likes women
He sounds a lot like my ex-girlfriend
My ex-girlfriend used to have this strange f**......
She used to enjoy being strangled until she turned blue in the face.
It's too bad that I am colorblind.
What did scorpion say when Sub-Zero wouldn't stop pining over his ex-girlfriend?
Get Over Her!
My ex-girlfriend says she has a stalker. I have to say I'm surprised.
In all the time I've spent hanging around her house, hiding in the bushes, watching her come and go...I've never seen any signs of a stalker.
How to fall out of love with an ex-girlfriend?
Set her voice as your alarm-clock ringtone.
I have this love hate relationship with my ex-girlfriend.
I love her, she hates me.
What do you call a group of my ex-girlfriends sitting around a table eating turkey?
Skanksgiving
What I called my wife when we were engaged
My Ex-girlfriend
Ex-girlfriends don't understand physics ....
She kept saying that I had no energy, and never did anything.
I kept telling her I had so much potential.
My ex-girlfriend liked to apply period blood to her dress and wave it around
That was a huge red flag.
What's the difference between minesweeper and my ex-girlfriend?
I never managed to beat minesweeper
After she decided to dump me, my rich ex-girlfriend has been begging me to take her back.
I explained that when her family pays the ransom she will be safely returned.
Not sure how the iPhone X f**... identification would work for my ex-girlfriend
Because she's so two-faced
Saw my ex-girlfriend across the street today and she didn't even look at me.
Truth is, i've changed a lot since kindergarten.
My ex-girlfriend said she's seeing someone now.
I said me too.
A therapist.
If you've had s**... with less than 536 people, then having s**... with you is a more exclusive club than going into space.
I though I'd post something my ex-girlfriend could feel good about.
My Ex girlfriend works in a pharmacy,
My Ex-girlfriend works in a
pharmacy, so whenever I want to
spoil her mood I'll just go there to
buy the c**... for no reason.
Sometimes I'll go 5 times a day😂😂😂
My ex-girlfriend owned a parakeet…oh my god, that f**king thing would never shut up.
But the bird was cool.
My ex-girlfriend owned a parrot.
That s**... thing never shut up.
I have a t-shirt that says, "Hope is contagious."
My ex-girlfriend Hope really hates that shirt.
There's a Marine in Afghanistan
A marine was deployed to Afghanistan. While he was there, he received a letter from his girlfriend. In the letter she explained that she had slept with two guys while he had been gone and she wanted to break up with him. She also wanted the pictures of herself back.
So, the marine did what any other man would do. He went around to his buddies and collected all the unwanted photos of women he could find. He then mailed about 24 pictures of women (with clothes and some without) to his ex-girlfriend with the following note:
"I don't remember which one you are. Please remove your picture and send the rest back."
My ex-girlfriend and I still have a lot of chemistry between us.
Admittedly, it's the kind you get between acetone and hydrogen peroxide...
An Australian man is walking across Sydney Harbour Bridge when he sees his ex-girlfriend standing on the railings ...
An Australian man is walking across Sydney Harbour Bridge when he sees his ex\-girlfriend standing on the railings, about to commit s**.... He apporaches her and asks:
\- Hey Sheila, what's the matter?
Tears in here eyes, she says:
\- I'm pregnant Bruce, and it's your baby!
To which Bruce replies:
\- Woah Sheila, not only are you brilliant in bed \- you're also a great sport!
I was an o**... donor for my ex-girlfriend
When we broke up she took a piece of me with her
Driving in traffic in the city I moved into is a lot like having s**... with my ex-girlfriend...
It always seems like I can never go too fast for too long and whenever a gap opens up in front of me another guy already filled it up.
My Japanese ex-girlfriend kept trying to get back with me
I had to drop the bomb twice before she finally gave up.
My ex-girlfriend saya she experiments with girls, once a week.
"She must be bi-weekly."
Just thought of this. Any input is welcomed.
A school shooter is gunning down his classmates when he sees his ex-girlfriend. Why didn't he kill her?
He missed her.
My ex-girlfriend just got fired for drinking on the job.
She worked at a s**... bank.
What did the brat say about his ex-girlfriend?
She was the wurst.
My ex-girlfriend said she liked Formula 1 but not NASCAR
I just can't be in a relationship with someone who's raceist
Just a few days after me and ex-girlfriend broke up, she sent me a text saying "You've still got a friend in me."
So I replied "I know. That's why we broke up. And don't call him my friend!"
Somebody says video games don't have any impact on your psyche. I can't agree with that.
My Ex-girlfriend played Tetris a lot in her childhood.
She's still waiting for a long stick.
My ex girlfirend
My ex-girlfriend used to give me nicknames whilst giving me head.
"The Impaler" was my favourite.
Well, at least, that's what I thought she said....
Turns out she's asthmatic and it's my fault she died.
I saw my ex-girlfriend last week
We were both at a loss for words when we saw each other. I was wondering what to say and she was wondering why I was in her apartment.
How do they announce the death of your annoying ex-girlfriend in the newspaper?
Via a no-b**...-uary.
Whats the difference between my ex-girlfriend and a Kit-Kat?
You can only get 4 fingers in a Kit-Kat
What do my ex-girlfriend and karma have in common?
They're both a real b**...
Right before me and my ex-girlfriend broke up, I asked her Which came first: the chicken or the egg?
She said You.
I still have s**... with my ex-girlfriend all the time.
Honestly, I'm lucky she married me.
Ex-Girlfriend
My ex-girlfriend called and asked if she could stay at my house for a few nights. She said she has been hearing weird noises and thinks someone is outside her place at night.
I said she could definitely stay. I really hope we can get back together. Otherwise, I wasted a month going to her place and making weird noises each night.
I think my ex-girlfriend is still obsessed with me
I've just found a photo of us in the bin outside her house.
My ex-girlfriend had this weird f**...
She liked to dress up like herself and act like a r**... b**... all the time
Back Together Again
My ex-girlfriend just told me she wants us to get back together again.
MAN, I sure am LUCKY!
I mean, first I win the lottery and now THIS!