Exes Jokes

37 exes jokes and hilarious exes puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about exes that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Exes Short Jokes

Short exes jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The exes humour may include short ex con jokes also.

  1. When people show me pictures of their kids, I show them pictures of my exes If I have to look at their mistakes, they have to look at mine.
  2. When I die, I want all my exes to carry my coffin to the grave So that they can let me down one last time
  3. I used to date computer programs but that's over now My girlfriend still worries that I may go back but I reply to her "they're just exes "
  4. Inmates on death row should have prison ID's ending in .EXE Because, eventually, they are all executable.
  5. Coroner: "i came across my exe wife at the morgue last night." Doctor: "was it hard to take?"
    Coroner: "not really, I'm used to her ignoring me."
  6. Family reunions must be really awkward in the south... Especially when you see your exes there
  7. I thought they'd named a loaf of bread after one of
    my exes
    then I realised it said Thick Cut
  8. I'm thinking about getting a job in radio. All my friends say I've got the voice for radio.
    And all my exes say I've got the face for it.
  9. Two exes are texting.. Male Ex: Just ate a fish taco; it reminded me of you.
    Female Ex: What a coincidence, because I ordered a pizza and it came in 20 seconds. It reminded me of you.
  10. Follow your dreams......... Text them. Text them again. Show up at their job. Find out if their exes are prettier than you.

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Exes One Liners

Which exes one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with exes? I can suggest the ones about exits and ex husband.

  1. Exes are like chocolate. They'll kill your dog.
  2. Found a weird .exe file on your computer? Beware! Could be a set up.
  3. I have no idea how many exes I have But I can always change my Netflix password
  4. All my exes call me "Sandstone"... Because I'm undateable.
  5. I like my exes like I like my msn messenger Misremembered fondly but gone forever.
  6. I can honestly say I've learned things from each one of my exes... Patience
  7. I like my exes suicides how I like my whiskey On the rocks.
  8. My friend asked me what happened to my exes One ex won one Xbox one X box
  9. I'm the most wanted bachelor in the state Some of my exes even put a price on me head
  10. I hate Christmas I have to see all my exes again
  11. What is it called when all your exes leave you? Polygone
  12. What is ISIS' favourite file type? .exe
  13. Everything is bigger in Texas... That's why my all my exes live there.
  14. Exes are like old coworkers... You used to work together, but not anymore.
  15. I always thought I was good at s**... Then I found out all my exes had asthma

Exes joke, I always thought I was good at s**...

Gather Around for Heartwarming Exes Jokes and Uplifting Humor

What funny jokes about exes you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean ex wife jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make exes pranks.

Just before breaking up with them, I would treat all my exes to mani-pedis, massages, and give them some spending money.

Father always taught me to leave stuff in better condition than how I found it.

Two men were talking about their exes...

The first guy was telling his friend about how he broke up with his ex after she pretended to be pregnant just to get attention.
The second guy replied "That's nothing, this one time my ex told everyone she had cancer just to get attention."
1st Guy- "No way man, how did you break up with her?"
2nd Guy- "I didn't have to, she died of cancer..."

If you still had feelings for your exes and didn't know what to do..

Does that mean that you are in exes-tential crisis?

People who get back together with their exes are like functions that asymptotically approach 0...

Because they 1/x

Exes joke, I hate Christmas