I'm calling it "Jehovah's Fitness"
*[The punchline is left as an exercise for the reader.]*
Crossfit
But I think that's bullshit because I've never run 5 miles in 30 seconds.
Chasing a car. After running from a car you'll just be tired, but after chasing one you'll be exhausted.
When she asked me why I broke up with my last girlfriend I said "it didn't work out." She said "be more specific." I said "I just told you she didn't exercise."
Repeat this exercise whenever your offered something to eat!
I go to the gym for an hour on Sunday morning and then don't think about it again for the rest of the week.
The punchline is trivial and is left as an exercise to the reader
A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?"
"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise."
"That's amazing," said the woman, "how old are you?"
"Twenty-six," he said.
Diddly squat
is a cross between a crunch and a lunge... it's called lunch.
Cross fit.
Crossfit
But the only thing I exercise is my right to bare arms.
"I don't know what's wrong with me," she said. "I've been very short-tempered lately. I'm always yelling at my husband and kids over the silliest little things."
"Sounds like stress," said the doctor. "Maybe you need to exercise more. Tell you what, try running ten miles a day. Call me in two weeks and let me know how things are going."
So two weeks later the doctor got a call. "Well, I followed your advice. I've been running ten miles every day."
"Splendid! And how are things between you and your family?"
"How the hell should I know? I'm 140 miles from home!"
It's true. After going to the gym today I've decided I'm never going again.
Exercise
Diddly-squats.
You exercise it.
Yesterday at yoga, the instructor told us to make a flower shape by putting our hands together. She kept saying to take deep breaths and focus on our flowers. Towards the end of the exercise she told us to smell our flowers and just say out loud what our flowers smelt like. I don't think she appreciated it when I said Vaseline and shame.
It's called lunch. Dad, I'm hungry.
...but when I want to wear something more formal, I wear my James clothes.
On the first day his psych professor begins a perception exercise by telling the students to close their eyes and feel around for an object, then describe the object and tell her what it is.
First she calls on Kyle who says "I feel something big round and bumpy. It's a globe!"
The professor says "Good Kyle! I like the way you think.
Next she calls on Suzie who says "I feel something flat and coarse. It's paper!"
The professor says "Good Suzie! I like the way you think."
Finally she calls on Johnny. He sticks his hand in his pocket with a creepy smile and says "Teacher, I feel something round, hard, and it has a head on it.
The professor interrupts him shouting "Johnny, That's disgusting!"
He replies, "No teacher it's a quarter, but I like the way you think."
Our Kestrel Manoeuvres In The Dark
Fantastic exercise that really helps you to lose weight: Turn your head to the left. Good. Turn your head to the right. Very good. Repeat this exercise whenever you are offered any food.
A roleplay exercise in Alabama, a serious question in Detroit.
she said it gave her a sense of porpoise.
The punchline has been left as an exercise for the reader.
Because they all ran away when I offered.
Do it when you are offered food
It's called lunch
I hope it works out for him.
One weak!
Dr: Have you been getting enough exercise?
Me: Does sex count as exercise?
Dr: Yes.
Me: No.
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