Exec Jokes
40 exec jokes and hilarious exec puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about exec that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Exec Short Jokes
Short exec jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The exec humour may include short exit jokes also.
- How could the footwear exec afford a mansion, a yacht, and a private jet? He was on a real shoestring budget.
- Why did the TV execs decide not to create a new reality show about philosophers? Because it would only be for a Neitzsche audience
- I'm pretty excited about my new band When I asked the record exec whether he thought our song would be popular, he told me it would be off the charts!
- What did the SEC do when the battery-powered-car exec exceeded his range? They charged him.
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Exec One Liners
Which exec one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with exec? I can suggest the ones about escape and expression.
- Wall Street execs to redditors: "This isn't a game. Stop!"
- What's it called when an Adult Swim exec's body freezes up after death? Rickor Mortys
- What's the worst swear word to a tv exec? Godhole.
- How can you tell if a Comcast exec is lying? Does he still have a pulse?
Hilarious Fun Exec Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about exec you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fail jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make exec pranks.
Why did they execute William Wallace?
They couldn't let him go Scot free.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Exececution by a firing squad
A guy is about to get executed by a firing squad.
He is granted with 1 last wish.
"a sigaret please" he says
"And fire".
Why is an executioner a terrible high-fiver?
He always leaves you hanging
If you were going to be executed, how would you dress?
"Very slowly."
Taken from Home Improvement S7E05
So many good jokes on that show.
What did the executioner say to the prisoner?
"Hang on a minute."
A well executed theft leaving no fingerprints behind is...
... a stainless steal.
How did the executioner learn about knots?
By watching the noose.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the executioner say to his wife when he left?
I'll beheading out now.
First Executive Order:
All pornstars must now be blonde.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why couldn't they execute the railway worker with the electric chair?
He was too good a conductor
Why are executioners so rich?
Because they make a killing
What did Nokia's executives say when the iPhone launched?
"We're Finnished."
What does an executioner shower with?
Head & Shoulders
Why did the EA executive cross the road?
Buy the DLC to find out!
Alternate ending available if you purchase the season pass!
Why did the EA executive cross the road?
To provide himself with a sense of pride and accomplishment.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Four executioners on horseback tell a very skeptical man that he will be drawn and quartered...
the man replies to one of them "are you pulling my leg?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The executioner asked, "Any last words?"
The criminal replied, "I just want one more clickbait article".
Executioner: "What happens next will shock you"
What did the executioner say to his wife before he left for work?
I'm just heading off!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the executioner say to the death row inmate who had their execution date expedited?
Boy have I got noose for you...
What did the executioner say when he saved many green headed vegetables
Asparagi
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Executioner deserves a bonus...
He's been killing it.
The executioner asked if I had any last words
I said Yes, just three
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How did they execute cheapskates in the middle ages?
They had them sketched and nickled
What does an executioner drink?
A Decappuccino.
What did the executioner say to the man who's sentenced to death?
"Hang in there, buddy."
I executed a joke in front of five friends
Now there are four left.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The executioner is going to be p**... when he finds out we lost the basket from his guillotine.
I'm telling you, heads will roll!
Why did the executioner love his job?
Because he always got head!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The executioner decapitated the man in a single s**..., and then hacked him into pieces.
Almost a flawless execution, but then he butchered it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
5 Execution Methods Still Used In The Modern World
Number 1 will shock you
The executioner asks for any last words:
A man is sat in the electric chair, and the executioner asks for any last words.
The man sitting in the chair responds: "I won't be shocked if this dosen't work"
As an executioner, I often ask prisoners for their last requests.
My last inmate asked me for a high five, but I just left him hanging
What does an executioner get to learn about events?
A noose-paper
I used to be an executioner at the gallows but I got fired
I could never get the hang of it
