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Excuse Me Waiter Jokes

23 excuse me waiter jokes and hilarious excuse me waiter puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about excuse me waiter that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Excuse Me Waiter Short Jokes

Short excuse me waiter jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The excuse me waiter humour may include short waiter jokes also.

  1. Guy orders a steak at a restaurant. The waiter brings it out and its rare.
    "Excuse me, I said well done." says the guy
    "Oh sorry, I didn't hear you", says the waiter, "Thanks very much!"
  2. The hearing-aid A man is dining in a restaurant and speaks to a waiter.
    Man: Excuse me sir, I found a hearing-aid on my plate.
    Waiter: What?
  3. A waiter says to a customer "Excuse me, miss, but you appear to have some lettuce stuck in your pants." "That's just the tip of the iceberg." She replies.
  4. A man dining at a restaurant flagged down his waiter and said, "Excuse me. I have a bee in my soup." The waiter replied, "Yes sir. Didn't you order the alphabet soup?"
  5. A man dining at a restaurant flagged down his waiter and said, "Excuse me. I have a bee in my soup." The waiter replied, "Yes sir. Didn't you order the alphabet soup?"
  6. A man dining at a restaurant flagged down his waiter and said, "Excuse me. I have a bee in my soup." The waiter replied, "Yes sir. Didn't you order the alphabet soup?"

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Excuse Me Waiter One Liners

Which excuse me waiter one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with excuse me waiter? I can suggest the ones about pardon me sir and restaurant server.

  1. What did the Venus fly trap say to the waiter? Excuse me, there's no fly in my soup.
  2. Excuse me waiter! There's a noodle in my spaghetti!!

Excuse Me Waiter Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about excuse me waiter you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean excuse jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make excuse me waiter pranks.

Texan, Russian and New Yorker walk into a restaurant

A Texan, a Russian and a New Yorker go to a restaurant in London.
The waiter tells them, "Excuse me -- if you were going to order the steak, I'm afraid there's a shortage due to the mad cow disease."
The Texan says, "What's a shortage?"
The Russian says, "What's a steak?"
The New Yorker says, "What's 'excuse me'?"

Octopus dinner

I recently went to a sea food restaurant and I had a look at the menu , I said to the Waiter
excuse me can I have the octopus please
No problem sir he replied
But there is an issue he said
And what's that then ??
He said
you can have it but it takes 4 hours to cook
4 hours ??? Why on earth does it take that long ??
Simples ,Because we cook them when they are still alive , but they keep turning the gas off

I went to the worst restaurant last night

The waiter was holding my steak down with his thumb.
I said 'Excuse me, why are you holding my steak down with your thumb?'
He said 'Well I wouldn't want to drop it again'

The Monkees visit a bar every Tuesday...

Each time they visit, they never finish their drinks, leaving them for the waiter to tidy up.
One night, the waiter approaches Micky Dolenz:
"Excuse me sir, you waste $30 on drinks every Tuesday that just get thrown down the drain. Why do you do it?"
Micky turns to the waiter and smiles. "Haven't you heard? I'm a beer leaver."

A Texan, a Russian and a New Yorker went to a restaurant in London.

The waiter approached the table and said, "Excuse me, but if you order the steak you might not get one, as there is a shortage". The Texan said, "What's a shortage?" The Russian said, "What's a steak?" The New Yorker said, "What's excuse me?"

Waiter: What else can I get for the lovely couple?

Girl: Oh gosh, haha no, we're just friends.
Guy: You can get us two checks.
Girl: Excuse me?
Guy: Also please don't forget she had 2 soda refills, I know you guys charge extra.

A man at lunch orders a salad

When he receives the salad he notices there is a button in it. He expresses this to the waiter saying, "Excuse me, but there is a button in my salad!" The waiter replied, "that's okay, it's part of the dressing"

A man goes to a restaurant

And notices that there's a fly in his soup. He flags down a waiter and exclaims excuse me sir, there's a fly in my soup!
The waiter looks and responds well I'll be d**..., the chef said he ran out making raisin bread!

I'm very specific about how my food is prepared.

For instance, I was in a restaurant in Paris recently and I asked the waiter,
"Excuse me, waiter, what's the French for 'on'?"
Couldn't get an answer out of him.

A Texan, a Russian and a New Yorker go to a restaurant in London.
The waiter tells them, "Excuse me if you were going to order the steak, I'm afraid there's a shortage due to the mad cow disease."
The Texan says, "What's a shortage?"
The Russian says, "What's a steak?"
The New Yorker says, "What's 'excuse me'?"

A lady walks into a restaurant

When she sits down she ask the waiter,
Excuse me, what is the food of the day?
Well ma'am we are serving a 250 gram Angus eye fillet steak.
Well I'll get that medium rare.
The waiter walks away and comes back 10 minutes later with the steak. He places it down and she bites into the steak. Furious she asks for the chef who cooked the steak steak to come over for a chat.
Good evening ma'am, what is the problem?
Well I asked for this steak to be medium rare but it is well done.
Why thank you ma'am.

Darling

An elderly couple goes to their favorite restaurant they've been visiting together for decades. The man addresses his wife with all sorts of endearments, calling her his darling, sweetheart, his treasure etc.
When the lady excuses herself and goes to the bathroom, the waiter comments to the man, Wow, you have an amazing relationship with your wife, all those lovely names you call her…

The man looks at him, To be honest, it has become a necessity. I actually forgot her name about 3 years ago.

An old Jewish man walks into a restaurant

He orders some soup. The waiter quickly brings his soup but the old man doesn't eat. The waiter returns after some minutes. Excuse me sir. Is there something wrong with your soup?
Try it and find out. The old man responded.
Is the soup too cold?
Try it.
I-is it too hot?
Just try it.
Not enough vegetables, too much broth, does it smell funny?
What are ya, mishegas? Just try the soup! The old man shouts.
Alright! The waiter gives in. Where's the spoon? He looks over the table.
The old man just smiles.