Exclaiming Jokes
26 exclaiming jokes and hilarious exclaiming puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about exclaiming that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Exclaiming Short Jokes
Short exclaiming jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The exclaiming humour may include short exclaims jokes also.
- I called work this morning and whispered, "Sorry boss, I can't come in today. I have a wee cough." He exclaimed, "You have a wee cough!?" I said, "Really?! Thanks boss, see you next week!"
- A Tibetan monk sees the face of Jesus in a tub of margarine. He raises his eyes to the heavens and exclaims "I can't believe it's not Buddha!"
- A man tells his wife before he goes to bed, "I'm gonna go get your aspirin" The wife says, "Aspirin? I don't have a headache."
"Ah, HAH!!" The man exclaimed - My friend told me about a wonder food that he discovered that contains protein, fiber, and good fats "That's nut!" I exclaimed.
- A police officer spotted an elderly lady knitting whilst driving "Pullover", he exclaimed.
"No, it's a scarf", she replied. - A weasel walks into a bar The bartender exclaims Well I'll be! We've never have a weasel in here before. Whatever you'd like, you may have. What'll it be?
pop, goes the weasel. - A Buddhist monk sees Jesus' face in a tub of margerine And he exclaimed, I can't believe it's not Buddha!
- A Blonde Crashes a helicopter A passerby jumps out and rushes up to her and exclaims,"What happened!?". She explains,"It got cold so I turned off the fan".
- A blonde crashes a helicopter... A police officer drives by and exclaims, "What happened!?". She says, "It was getting cold so I turned off the fan".
- With great flourish, the Mexican magician exclaimed, "On the count of three, I shall make myself disappear!" "uno!!!"
"Dos!!!"
...and then he vanished, without a tres.
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Exclaiming One Liners
Which exclaiming one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with exclaiming? I can suggest the ones about exclamation and shouting.
- "It's a boy! " Frank exclaimed. "It's a boy!" And he never visited Bangkok ever again.
- I dropped my toothpaste! ...Tom exclaimed, crestfallen.
- A scientist drops a bar of gold on his foot by mistake... "Au!", he exclaimed.
- I'M A STARK! Exclaimed the Italian stuck in traffic.
- A dog goes and licks a tree. The dog exclaims ruff...bark
- Bono and the Edge walk into a bar in Dublin The barman exclaims, "Not U2 again!!!"
- A Man and God met at bar. Both exclaimed, *My creator*!
- What did the guy exclaim after inventing the shovel? It is ground breaking!
- What did Julius Caesar exclaim after years of impotency? Veni! Veni! Veni!
- What did Mario's dad exclaim when he discovered he had a baby boy? It's-a he, Mario.
- "I can't find my gun" I exclaimed as I rifled through my drawers.
- What does a racist baker exclaim? white flour!
- A scientist walks into a bar... "Ow!" He exclaims, "My knee!"
- When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor exclaimed, "It's a man!"
- A businessman walks into a bar takes a dump on his table and exclaims "I created a job!"
Rib-Tickling Exclaiming Jokes that Bring Friends Together
What funny jokes about exclaiming you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean yelling jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make exclaiming pranks.
A little girl runs up to her mother and says "mummy, daddy hanged himself in the basement!"
Upon hearing the news the mother breaks down in tears and, shakily, makes her way into the basement.
When they get there, the woman cannot see the father's corpse.
The little girl then exclaims "April fools! Daddy did it in the garage"
War
A Dutchman in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess, so he went to his Priest.
Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During WWII, I hid a Jewish man in my attic.
Well, answered the Priest, That's not a sin.
But I made him pay me 20 gulden for each week he stayed. The Dutchman said.
The Priest replied, I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause.
The Dutchman exclaimed Oh thank you Father; that eases my mind. Father, I have one more question.
What is it son? ask the priest.
The Dutchman whispered Do I have to tell him the war is over?
Finding a woman sobbing because she had locked her keys in the car, a passing soldier assures her that he can help.
She watches amazed as he takes off his trousers, rolls them into a tight ball and rubs them against the car door. Magically it opens.
"That's so clever!" the woman exclaims. "How did you do that?"
"Easy," replied the soldier, "These are my khakis."
A boy excitedly reports to his miserly father...
"Papa!" the boy exclaims. "Instead of buying a bus ticket, I ran home behind the bus and saved a dollar!"
The father immediately slaps the child. "Spendthrift!" he screams. "You could have run home behind a taxi and saved twenty!"
One day, Usain Bolt goes into a country club.
When he enters, the woman at the front desk stops him, and says, "Sorry, we don't allow b**... in here. But there's another club 10 minutes down the road that does."
Visibly furious, Bolt exclaims, "Do you know who I am? I'm Usain Bolt!"
"Oh! I'm sorry", says the woman. "Then it's only 5 minutes down the road."
A young woman was standing outside her car weeping. A soldier walks up and asks what the problem is.
It turns out she's locked her keys in the car.
"Simple," says the soldier and drops his trousers, takes them off, rolls them into a ball and rubs them on the door.
The door pops open.
"How did you do that?!" exclaimed the young woman.
"Easy," says the soldier, "These are my khakis."
Old German joke
An eight-year old boy had never spoken a word. One afternoon, as he sat eating his lunch he turned to his mother and said, The soup is cold."
His astonished mother exclaimed, Son, I've waited so long to hear you speak. But all these years you never said a thing. Why haven't you spoken before?"
The boy looked at her and replied, Up until now, everything has been satisfactory."
