The Best 81 Excited Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Excited jokes. There are some excited enthusiastic jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these excited more excited than puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Excited Jokes and Puns

I was pretty excited when I heard Logan Paul went into a suicide forest

A little upset to find out he came back

I called a suicide hotline in Iraq..

They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

A guy is sitting in a bar when a great looking woman comes over to him.

He's really excited, but it immediately comes clear that she is a hooker. She says, "Hey, handsome. Want to play a game? Here is how it works. I'll do absolutely anything you want for three hundred dollars, as long as you can say it in three words."
The guy thinks for a minute. Then he pulls his wallet out of his pocket, lays three hundred dollar bills on the bar, and says, "Paint my house."

Depression

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I felt like I needed to end it all, so I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

jokes about excited

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are lost in the wilderness...

...and they become very excited when they come across tracks. As they are following the tracks, the three of them take a guess on what animal could have possibly left them.

"Obviously, it must have been a horse," said the Blonde.

"No no no, we're in the forest, it must have been a deer," said the Brunette.

"You're both idiots. Obviously it's a dog!" said the Redhead.

They debated until the train came and hit them.


First Impressions

A young teenage couple have been dating for a little while, so the girl says to the boy that she wants him to meet her parents. He is a little skeptical at this, but she tells him that if he can make a good impression with them that she will reward him with sex.

Extremely excited at the prospect of losing his virginity, the boy rushes to the local pharmacy to get some protection. However, he is a little embarrassed and unsure of himself. The pharmacist at the counter notices this and walks over to see if he can help. "First time?" the pharmacist guesses. The boy nods sheepishly. So the pharmacist gives him the basics on picking condoms. The boy thanks him, buys some, and leaves.

Finally, the big night arrives and the boy arrives at the girl's house. As the couple and the girl's parents sit down for dinner, they all bow their heads to say grace over the meal. Afterwards, they all look up to start eating, except for the boy, who still has his head bowed in prayer. Respectfully, the girl and her parents sit quietly as he continues praying to himself. After about 5 minutes pass, the girl leans over and whispers to him, "I never knew you were so religious!" He looks up at her and whispers back, "I never knew your dad was a pharmacist!"

So a kid gets on a plane for the first time

and he is really excited about it. He is sitting inside the plane mid-flight when he finds out the plane's a Boeing. So he starts saying "Boeing.. Boeing.. Boeing.."

After a while when he doesn't stop the passengers start getting irritated, and the hostess comes along and tells the boy "Be Silent". So the boy starts "Oeing.. Oeing.. Oeing.. "

Excited joke, So a kid gets on a plane for the first time

New to Baseball

Coming home from his Little League game, Billy swung open the front door very excited. Unable to attend the game, his father immediately wanted to know what happened. "So, how did you do son?" he asked.

"You'll never believe it!" Billy said. "I was responsible for the winning run!"

"Really? How'd you do that?"

"I dropped the ball."

An Irishman, by the name of O'Malley proposed to his girl on St. Patrick's Day.

He gave her a ring with a synthetic diamond. The excited young lass showed it to her father, a jeweller. He took one look at it and saw it wasn't real.

The young lass on learning it wasn't real returned to her future husband. She protested vehemently about his cheapness.

'It was in honour of St.Patrick's Day, ' he smiled.

'I gave you a sham rock.'

Bag Boy

This guy has been working as a bag boy in a supermarket for five years. One day the supermarket gets new orange juice machines, and the bag boy is really excited and asks the manager if he can work the juice machines.The manager says no. The bagger says, "But I've been working here for five years. Why can't I run the juice machines?" The manager answers, "I'm sorry, son, but baggers can't be juicers."

A husband and wife...

A husband and wife are celebrating their 10th anniversary. The husband surprises her and takes her on a vacation to a tropical island, far away. Getting excited the wife says, "If this is for our 10th anniversary then what are you planning for our 25th?" The husband says back, "I'll send over a jet to pick you up."

You can explore excited urges reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean excited nervous dad jokes. There are also excited puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Bird Impression

A traveling sideshow puts up a help wanted ad. A guy gets all excited and applies.

The sideshow owner brings him in for an interview and asks, "Ok, what's your talent? What can you do for me?"

The guy says "I do a really great bird impression!"

The owner responds, "Pff, no thanks. Plenty of people can do that."

So the guy says "Oh..ok...well thanks anyway,' and flies away.

Jon was excited about his new rifle..

... and wanted to try it out, so he went bear hunting. He spotted a small black bear and shot it. There was then a tap on his shoulder and he turned round to see a larger black bear. The black bear said "You've got two choices, I either maul you to death or we have sex." Jon decided to bend over.Β Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Jon soon recovered and vowed revenge. He headed out on another trip, found the black bear, and shot it. Immediately, there was another tap on his shoulder. This time a big brown bear stood right next to him.Β The brown bear said, "That was a huge mistake, Jon. You've got two choices. Either I maul you to death or we'll have rough sex." Again, Jon thought it was better to comply.Β Although he survived, it was several months before Jon finally recovered. Outraged, he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the brown bear and shot it. He felt sweet revenge, but then there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned round to find a gigantic grizzly bear standing there.Β The grizzly bear said "Admit it, Jon, you don't come here for the hunting, do you?"Β 

A man was overly excited to fly for the first time...

As he sat in his seat, he could contain his excitement no longer and began saying "Boeing! Boeing! Boeing!" over and over again.

Irritated, a stewardess comes over to him and says "Be silent!"

The man nods, and continues "Oeing, Oeing, Oeing..."

I thought of this joke this morning in the shower

A professional baseball team is at the airport flying home after a huge victory, and the team manager decides to splurge by buying first class tickets for everyone. Excited to fly in luxury, everyone boards the plane. The team quickly realizes, though, that they failed to reserve enough seats. Nobody is quite sure what to do, but eventually a rookie on the team stands up and shouts "put me in coach!"

Where does a bumblebee sit?

On her bee-hind!

As told to me by my very excited 3 year granddaughter.

Excited joke, Where does a bumblebee sit?

I was depressed last night so I called a self-help phone line...

Got a call centre in Afghanistan, and told them I was suicidal.

They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck...

Literary position.

Years ago, my grandparents took me on a vacation to Disneyland. Grandma was excited for me when we boarded the plane, she exclaimed that I was lucky, because I got the Shakespeare seat.

"Why is it the Shakespeare seat Grandma?"

"You are in seat 2-B, so it's the Shakespeare seat."

"Don't be silly Grandma. All the seats on an airplane are Shakespeare seats."

"How do you figure that?"

"Well, it's either seat 2-B or not 2-B."

A depressed frog goes to visit a fortune teller

Hoping for good news he goes to meet with a fortune teller.

The fortune teller closes her eyes, makes some strange sounds, and finally says, "You will meet a beautiful young girl that will want to know everything about you"

The frog gets excited and says, "Wow! When will I meet her? At a party?"

"No," replied the fortune teller, "in her biology class."


Why was the blond excited when she finished her puzzle after 6 months?

Because the box said 2-4 years!

A young lady from my office just sent me an email

saying "ithinktherearesomeproblemswithmykeyboardcanyoupleasegivemeanalternative"

Oh boy am I excited, but what does "ternative" mean?

I'm excited about a black person being on the $20 bill.

I always wanted to use black people as currency.

A black guy and a white girl are at a party

A black guy and a white girl are at a party. After a while they go together to a room, and she asks excited: "Show me if what they say about black men is true". He grabs her purse and runs

Everyone's excited for the new Minecraft movie.

It's sure to be a real blockbuster

136 days!

Three guys are celebrating in a bar.

They keep high-fiving each other and yelling, " " " "

They are so excited, the bartender can't stand it any longer.

"Hey," he says, "what are you guys celebrating?"

"We finished a jigsaw puzzle!" says one of them.

"You finished a jigsaw puzzle???" says the bartender. "How come that's so exciting?"
"Well, it said on the box 'Four to six years'!"

Two bats...

were in a cave thirsty for blood. One bat looks to the other and says, "I'm going to look for blood, stay here I'll be back".

He flies out of the cave and returns after a long time with blood dripping out of his mouth.

Excited, the other bat asks him "Where did you find so much blood??".

The other bat says, "you go out of this cave and turn left".

"Yes", replied the other bat, excitedly.

"Then you see a tree"

"Yeah"

"Well, I didn't".

Excited joke, Two bats...

A groom waits at the altar with a huge smile on his face.

His best man asks, "Why do you look so excited?" The groom replies, "I just had the best blow job I have ever had in my entire life, and I am marrying the wonderful woman who gave it to me." The bride waits at the other end of the aisle with a huge smile on her face. Her maid of honor asks, "Why do you look so excited?" The bride replies, "I just gave the last blow job of my entire life."

My gf just sent me an SMS: "Spacekeydoesn'tworkcanyougivemeanalternative"

I am really excited but what the f**k does ternative mean?

My wife slapped me when I told her I'm buying her a puppy for Christmas.

I thought she'd be excited to hear that she's getting a little husky...


My wife is actually mad at me for being so excited to see her mother tonight....

The viewing is at 7pm.

I just found out I'm going to be a Dad! I'm really excited.

I just hope my wife is too when she finds out.

My boyfriend looked so excited when I told him I was going to get him an escort for his birthday!

I couldn't understand why he looked so disappointed when I handed him the keys to his new Ford

Did you hear about these new reversible jackets?

I'm excited to see how they turn out

First day of school

One day, a mom took her son to his first day of school. When they were walking to school, he looked all excited, but when his mom came back to pick him up, he looked disappointed. Trying to cheer him up, the mother asked what he had learned today at school. "Apparently not enough," he said. "I have to come back tomorrow!"


A man asks a blonde how many apples

can she eat on an empty stomach. The blonde replies "Four".

The man says, "No, you can only eat one. After that your stomach is not empty". The blonde gets excited and plans to ask the same question to her friend.

Blonde: How many apples can you eat on an empty stomach?

Friend: Five.

Blonde: Aww shucks. It would have been so much fun if you had said four.

Why do so many lesbians have short hair?

They just get really excited about scissors.

A woman gets up in the morning

wakes up her husband and says:
- Honey, I had a wonderful dream. I dreamed you gave me a diamond necklace for my birthday. What does it mean?
The husband answers:
- You'll know it on your birthday.
The wife's birthday arrives and the husband enters the house with a package in his hand. The woman, excited, takes it from her hands, tears the paper nervously, quickly opens the box and finds a book titled: "The meaning of dreams."

My homosexual friend recently started using Grindr

He is so excited about it, he can hardly sit down.

Another interview joke

During a job interview, the interviewer asks, I noticed a 6 year gap in your resume. How do you account for this period of time?

The applicant responds, I went to Yale.

Excited, the interviewer says, Yale?!? You're hired!

The applicant replies, Yay! I got a yob!

Smart first grader

A first-grade teacher can't believe her student isn't hepped-up about the Super Bowl. It's a huge event. Why aren't you excited?

Because I'm not a football fan. My parents love basketball, so I do too, says the student.

Well, that's a lousy reason, says the teacher. What if your parents were morons? What would you be then?

Then I'd be a football fan.

My wife is turning 62 tomorrow. I tell her not to get too excited as she will only have one minute to enjoy it. Confused, she asked, "what do you mean?"

It's your sixty second birthday.

Why is Trump excited Russia was banned from the 2018 Winter Olympics?

It makes it easier to decide who to cheer for

What do a vegan and a sexual deviant have in common?

They both get excited when they see a chickpea!

Gorilla

A young girl hit puberty and her body started to change. One day she noticed she was getting hair down there. She went to her mom confused and the mom explained that's your gorilla and it's getting hair. Very excited the young girl went to her older sister and exclaimed my gorilla is getting hair! . The older sister looked at her and said that's nothing, my gorilla is already eating bananas.

Why wasn't 6 excited that 7 won a prize for her?

Because 711452.

I came home with a salamander on my shoulder and my son, all excited, shouted, "What's his name!?

Smiling, I replied, Tiny!"

My kid laughed and asked, What an odd name, why do you call him Tiny?

I explained, Because...he's my newt!"

Dad, I'm so excited. I got a B in reading!

Dad: That's a D, idiot.

A guy walks into a bar and says, "O-o-one b-b-beer, p-please."

The bartender tells him, "I used to have a stutter too. Then one day, my wife gave me head, and from that point on I was cured!" The guy gets really excited and runs out the door without ever getting his beer.

The next day, the guy walks back into the bar and says, "O-o-one b-b-beer, p-please."

The bartender asks him, "It didn't work, huh?"

The guy says, "N-n-nope. B-but y-your h-h-house is r-r-really n-n-nice."

I called a suicide hotline in saudi arabia

they got excited and asked me if i could fly a plane

[Possibly OC] How excited was Wendy to go to Neverland?

She was so excited that she nearly Peter Pans.

I'm so excited to finally get a dad bod

It's the first time I've ever had a father figure

The teacher asks, "Flora, what part of the human body increases ten times when excited?"

Flora blushes and says, "That's disgusting, I won't even answer that question." The teacher calls on Johnny: "What part of the human body increases ten times when excited?" "That's easy," says Johnny. "It's the pupil of the eye." "Very good, Johnny," responds the teacher. "That's correct." She then turns to Flora and says, "First, you didn't do your homework. Second, you have a dirty mind. And third, you're in for a BIG disappointment."

I was digging a hole in my backyard when I found a box filled with gold.

I was so excited that I ran inside to tell my wife. Then I remembered why I was digging the hole in the first place.

With a very seductive voice, a wife asked her husband, Have you ever seen $20 all crumpled up?

No said her husband. She gave him a little smile, unbuttoned the top three buttons, reached into her bra and pulled out a crumpled $20 note.

She then asked Have you ever seen $50 all crumpled up? No, I haven't he said with an anxious tone in his voice. She seductively unzipped her skirt and pulled out a crumpled $50 note.

Now she said. Have you ever seen $40,000 all crumpled up? No way! he panted, becoming even more excited,

She said Look in the garage.

A man is smoking two cigarettes at a park

Another man walks up to him and asks, "Why are you smoking two cigarettes?"

He replies: "I'm smoking one for myself and one for my brother, he is in a no-smoking prison."

Satisfied with the answer, the man walks away.

A few days pass and he sees the same man at the park, but he's only smoking one cigarette.

Excited, he goes up to the man and asks, "Did your brother get out of prison? You are only smoking one cigarette."

He replies: "No, I quit smoking."

I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins

Excited, I was about to run indoors to tell the wife, but then I remembered why I was digging in the garden...

A blonde joke

A blonde gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country. She has never been on an airplane anywhere and was very excited and tense. As soon as she boarded the plane, a Boeing-747, she started jumping in excitement, running over seat to seat and starts shouting, "BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!! BO....."
She sort of forgets where she is, even the pilot in the cock-pit hears the noise. Annoyed by the goings on, the Pilot comes out and shouts "BE SILENT!"
There was pin-drop silence everywhere and everybody is looking at the blonde and the angry Pilot. She stared at the pilot in silence for a moment, concentrated really hard, and all of a sudden started shouting,"OEING! OEING! OEING! OE...."

My little daughter came to me all excited, saying, Daddy! Daddy! Guess how old I'll be in August! I said, Oh I don't know princess, why don't you tell me? She gave me a huge smile and held up four fingers...

It's now three hours later, the police are annoyed and she *still* won't say where she got them...

Everyone was excited at the autopsy club...

It was open Mike night.

Tom was not home at his usual hour and his wife was fuming.

Finally around 3am she heard a noise at the front door and, as she stood at the top of the stairs, there was her husband, drunk as a skunk, trying to navigate the stairs.

Do you realise what time it is?!? she stammered.

He answered, "Don't get excited, I'm late because I bought something for the house.

Immediately her attitude changed, and running down the stairs to meet him halfway, she asked What did you buy for the house, dear?"

Tom answered A round of drinks!"

An employee sees his boss arrive at work one day in a brand new Lamborghini.

The employee goes out to the car park and says to his boss Wow that's an amazing car! I wish I had one just like it, that must have cost you a pretty penny!

The boss stands up, looks the employee in the face and says Yes, it did. And do you know something? Next year, if you work really hard, and you do your overtime, and you save your pennies, and you do your absolute best then maybe...

The employee, mystified and excited for what comes next, says yes...

The boss looks into the employees eyes and says then maybe... I'll have another one next year.

My little daughter came to me all excited, shrieking, Daddy! Daddy! Guess how old I'll be in October! Playing along, I laughed, Oh I don't know princess, why don't you tell me? She gave me a huge smile and held up four fingers...

It's now three hours later, the police are annoyed and she *still* won't say where she got them...

I need everyone to wish me luck. I have a meeting at the bank later and if all goes well, I will be out of debt.

I'm so excited I can barely put on my ski mask.

I bought Pfizer years ago and was so excited to earn millions when they announced their COVID vaccine...

Oops.... Turns out I bought Pfizer Total Landscaping instead. Oh well. Maybe I could rent the place out for a news conference?

Quarantine has turned us into dogs.

We roam the house all day looking for food. We are told "no" if we get too close to strangers. And we get really excited about car rides.

How programmers and cats are alike?

They both can sit in the same position for long time and get excited when they find a bug

My dad said he was going to set me up for life. Of course, I was excited by the idea.

Until he blamed me for the murder he committed.

Be careful what you wish for

One for cake day:

Tom finds an old, tarnished lamp. He gets excited, and polishes it vigorously.

A genie appears and say "Congratulations, you get three wishes! What is your first wish?"

Tom says, "I want to be Rich!".

The genie says, "No problem, done. What is your next wish, Rich?"

Adam is in the Garden of Eden and is feeling lonely. So he asks God for someone to share his existence with.

God answers of course, I can create a being that will support you no matter what you do, provide for you, and never argue .

Adam is excited and asks that sounds perfect, what will it cost me

An arm and a leg

….what can I get for a rib?

I was so excited about how well my psychiatry appointment went

But when I got home, I couldn't find any of my roommates to tell them

Did you hear that people in Minnesota are very excited this year?

Summer is forecasted to be on a weekend!

My cloning experiment is finally a success.

I'm so excited; I'm beside myself!

My wife got excited because of a delivery she received

She got a new heavy-gauge wok that she had her eye on for a while. I asked her if she remembered to get the special footwear for it.

She looked puzzled for a moment. Then she sighed and said, "Okay, lay it on me. Tell me your dad joke."

I said, "I don't know what you mean by that, but it is my understanding that they have boots that are made for wokking."

Lots of guys aren't too happy with getting a "dad bod" eventually in life. But I'd say im pretty excited for it

Because it's the closest thing I'm gonna get to having a father figure in my life

My county has just been under a tornado warning. As a redditor, I am excited thinking about the possible damage to my fence.

I could have so much reposting to do!

First date, and she asks to meet up by the river to watch the 'submarine races'

But she ghosted me when I told her I was excited to show her littoral warfare

When a lonely frog consults a fortune-teller

he's told not to worry. "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl," she says, "and she will want to know everything about you."

"That's great!" says the excited frog.

"When will I meet her?"

"Next semester," says the psychic, "in biology class."

I was so excited when my wife told me she was pregnant..

It was a week later when my girlfriend told me she was pregnant where I began to stress

I recently got hired as a USPS mailman.

I was really excited about it, but my dog wouldn't talk to me for a week afterwards!

Knock Knock?

Who's there?

Woo.

Woo who?

Don't get too excited.

Bob forget his wife's wedding anniversary

His wife was mad and demanded that there be something in the driveway the next morning that will go 0-200 in 6 seconds, AND IT BETTER BE THERE.

So the next morning comes around and there was a massive box in the driveway.

His wife unwrapped the present excited, to find a set of bathroom scales.

Bob hasn't been seen since last Friday.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the excited escort jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working excited giddy piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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