Excessive Jokes
55 excessive jokes and hilarious excessive puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about excessive that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Excessive Short Jokes
Short excessive jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The excessive humour may include short overly jokes also.
- Please becareful on the road Lots of people are drinking excessively and having their wives drive
- if you added the letters S and E to the X files it would be the X-ES Files. haha excess files. way too many files lol
- I feel really bad for the Mexican Olympian disqualified from weightlifting for excessive use of protein. They told him, "No whey, José."
- String Fight My ex used to hit me with stringed instruments. If only I had known about her history of violin.
- Back in the day, excessive use of commas was considered a very serious crime. It usually resulted in a long sentence.
- What is it called when too many people pass gas inside of a mine? An excess stench hole crisis.
- A friend of mine lost 200 pounds of excess fat and obsolete tissue in a matter of months. Better still, he felt great about the divorce.
- The best thing for a hangover is to drink excessively the night before. Not sure why you'd want one, though.
- Why did Darth Vader get suspended from the Police? He was under investigation for excessive use of Force
- A koala walks into a barber shop A koala walks into a barber shop and hops up into the chair. He points to the excess fur that has grown around his ears and asks the barber, "Can eucalyptus?"
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Excessive One Liners
Which excessive one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with excessive? I can suggest the ones about extensive and extremely.
- I accidentally bought too many art supplies I'm having an excess stencil crisis.
- My doctor asked if I drink to excess. I told him I'll drink to anything.
- What do you call a whale that mates excessively? Mom.
- why was darth vader arrested? excessive use of force.
- Eggs have recently been added to the endangered species list Due to excessive poaching.
- Why did the pilot ditch his ex-girlfriend? Because she had way too much excess baggage.
- I don't know about the new IPhone XS It just seems a little excess..
- Having excessive mixed drinks isn't the answer... ... but they are solutions.
- If you add S to EX files... You get EX-S files. Get it? Excess files haha
- Why was Luke Skywalker banned from all the local pubs... He used excessive force
- What do you call it when you have midlife crisis and excessively drink red wine? UB40
- I don't know about the key to SUCCESS. But the key to EXCESS can be found in my fridge.
- Today I tried 5 guys One was nice the second was really fun, but all 5 was just excessive
- Why does the new Iphone cost so much? Because its called excess!
- The ministry of excessive resource usage called. Seventy-three times.
Fun-Filled Excessive Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle
What funny jokes about excessive you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean obese jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make excessive pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Twice a Day
This guy goes to his doctor "You gotta help me. I can't stop having s**...." "How often do you have it?" The doc asks "Well, twice a day with my wife." The doc says "That's no to bad." The guy says "Yeah, but that's not all, I also have s**... with my secretary, twice a day." The doc says "That's a bit excessive."" and I have s**... with a p**..., twice a day" "That is definitely too much. You got to learn to take this situation in hand."
"I do," says the man "Twice a Day
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I heard that excessive m**... causes skepticism
But I'm finding it hard to believe
Newspapers
The paperboy didn't deliver my newspaper this morning, so I snuck next door and took the neighbours.
In hindsight, kidnapping might have been a little excessive
Two old friends run into each other at a bar
Two old friends run into each other at a bar. The one friend says to the other "Nice to see you, you're looking really good. Have you lost weight?" "Yeah I have, actually." says the other friend. The first friend asks, "How did you manage to get so fit?" The friend replies "Well, I'd like to contribute it to a good diet and exercise...but the Judge claims it's from excessive drinking and evading the police."
Hippocrates and the Prophet
Tiresias, blind prophet of Apollo, once went to Hippocrates with a serious case of depression. In no time, Hippocrates had figured it out -- "Aha!" said he; "an imbalance of black bile!" He bled the excess melancholia into an urn and handed it to the prophet. Tiresias did not see the humour.
I made just one mistake last night and my wife wont stop giving me the death stare.
Excessive choking.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Scientific research recently revealed....
Evidence that female hormones are present in beer. A group of men were given six pints of beer each. One hundred percent of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing and refused to apologize when wrong.
Why did they cancel basketball in the Special Olympics?
All the players kept getting disqualified for excessive dribbling.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I believe that marathons are bad. They are an excess; a p**... of healthy running. Running anything more than a few miles puts serious wear and tear on the joints without any benefit. Runners should be limited to no more than a 5k at the most, and marathons should be banned.
… and don't tell me that I'm just being racist.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Researchers have discovered that excessive m**... can cause dyslexia.
However, tihs is olny in etxreem caess of slef aubse.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Doctor: So your child was born without eyelids.
Mother: Well isn't there anything you can do?
Doctor: Yes, when we circumcise him we can take that excess skin and make him eye lids.
Mother: Will he be okay?
Doctor: Yeah, he will be fine, just be a little c**...-eyed.
Be careful on the roads tonight
Lots of people will be drinking excessively and letting their wives drive. Recipe for disaster.
Inner Strength
If you can start the day without caffeine,
If you can resist complaints and excessively loud people,
If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs...
If you can do all of these things, then you are probably a dog
Outnumbered 6 to 5, John brought grenades to a water balloon fight.
"Isn't that a little... excessive?"
"No, I'm just trying to level the playing field.
I was thinking about buying the new iPhone
But with so few new features, I thought the price was a bit excessive.
Judging by how expensive this year's iPhones are...
It's no wonder why they're called the iPhone Excess and iPhone Excess Max
Why did they call the new iPhone the IPhone XS...
Because you need an excess amount of money to purchase it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My therapist said the best treatment for depression is to vigorously rub salt into my skin in order to draw out excess moisture.
Wow thanks I'm cured.
Reasons to Avoid Water
* Can be extracte from rocket fuel
* Is the main ingredient in pestisides
* 100% of violent criminals have consumed water in the hours leading up to their crimes
* Is the #1 cause of drowning
* Excess consumption will cause sweating, urination and possibly death
* 100% of people exposed to water will die
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between the holocaust and the excess fat under a woman's upper arms?
You can make a joke about the holocaust.
Someone stole my newspaper this morning, so I quickly sneaked next door and took my neighbours.
Now that I've calmed down, I think kidnap may have been excessive.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My friend told me excessive m**... can lead to memory loss.
It's the sixth time he's told me.
True story: My kids jokingly called me their favorite mom the other day. (I'm their dad.)
Me: No, then you wouldn't be able to see me.
Kids: *[visible confusion]*
Me: I'd be trans-parent.
-
^(Follow-up: I'm sorry to inform you that the kids perished from complications related to excessive eye rolling.)
