Exams Jokes
101 exams jokes and hilarious exams puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about exams that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Read some of the funniest jokes about finals exams and make the stressful studying process a bit more bearable! Laugh to ease your tension and boost your morale before taking your board exams, getting your certification or improving your GPA!
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Funniest Exams Short Jokes
Short exams jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The exams humour may include short school exam jokes also.
- On my first day at astronaut training, I vomited and asked the instructor, Is this normal? He said, Not during a written exam, no.
- During my prostate exam I asked the doctor, "where should I put my pants"? "Over there by mine", was not the answer I was expecting.
- After my prostate exam, the doctor left. The nurse came in later, with a worried look on her face, and said the three words I was dreading to hear. Who was that?
- I failed my calculus exam because I was sitting between two identical twins. It was impossible to differentiate between them.
- Why did the mermaid rush out of her maths exam, red faced and embarrassed? Because her algaebra didn't hold up.
- Lying in bed, my girlfriend turned to me and said "You're a lot like a math exam."
I replied "Why? Because I'm long and hard?"
She said, "No, I'm cheating on you with an Asian." - I failed my chemistry lab exam. I was in the middle of performing a chemical reaction but I got sued by the Fine Bros.
- After my proctology exam I was left alone in the exam room for a few minutes. Then the nurse came in and whispered three words no man ever wants to hear. "Who was that?"
- Student: I've been writing my exam for 2 hours but haven't answered a single question!!! Politics Teacher: Well done, that's an A.
- There is a good chance you'll fail your calculus exam if you are sitting between identical twins. Because it's hard to differentiate between them.
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Exams One Liners
Which exams one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with exams? I can suggest the ones about exam results and examination.
- If i got 50 cents for every failed math exam, I'd have $ 6.30 now
- What's the worst thing to feel during a prostate exam? 2 hands on your shoulders
- I took a kleptomania exam. It wasn't mine, but I took it anyway.
- I failed my Greek Mythology exam. It has always been my achilles' elbow
- I messaged my ex on the day before my exam. I asked if she had any good cheating tips
- The professor gave me a C on my Latin exam... Aced it!
- Putting Your exam results on the window of your car So you can park in disabled spots.
- i just got my first prostate exam and im never going back to that dentist again
- I always give 100% Which is why I was sacked from being an exam marker.
- Just found out I've failed my German exam. Sacre bleu!
- If I had 50p every time I failed a maths exam I would have £3.57 right now
- My friend told me he failed his authentic Australian music exam. I asked "didja redo it"?
- A prostate exam... Is worrying when the doctor shouts "look no hands!"
- I passed my cheerleading exam... I went in and said "Give me an A!" and they did.
- I just failed my butcher's exam. Mis-steaks were made.
Studying Exams Jokes
Here is a list of funny studying exams jokes and even better studying exams puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why do old people start reading the bible more often? They are studying for their final exam.
- I really should've studied for my prostate exam my mom freaked out when she found out I got a D.
- You don't have to study for a pregnancy test... but I have heard there's a lot of cramming that goes on before the exam.
- How do you study for a prostate exam? By cramming.
- Where did the hippo study for it's college exams? On the Hippocampus.
- Getting a prostate exam doesn't make you gay... Unless you spend all day studying for it.
- What did the jihadist do when he forgot to study? He bombed the exam.
- How do you study for a prostate exam? Cram hard.
- I saw a Bible study once. It did really well on the exam.
- I failed my Cultural Studies exam. The question was "Describe the role that India plays in the modern world". Apparently "Tech Support" is not the correct answer.
Cheating Exams Jokes
Here is a list of funny cheating exams jokes and even better cheating exams puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's the best way to sneak cheat notes into an exam without getting caught? Memorise them.
- I cheated on my metaphysics exam. I gazed into the soul of the guy next to me.
- I have an exam next week To prep for it, im going to text my ex for any cheating tips
- I was thrown out of college for cheating on a metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the guy sitting next to me.
- How to fail an ethics exam? You cheat on it.
- I just passed my ethics exam... Of course I cheated
- Why didn't anyone cheat off of Bob Dylan's school exams? Seems he gave the same answer to every question.
- An engineering student designed a robot An engineering student designed a robot who would take his exams for him. The other designed a robot who could cheat off the first robot.
- Why did the exam break up with his girlfriend? Because she cheated on him.
- I caught my wife cheating from my best friend. they had the same exam version.
Final Exams Jokes
Here is a list of funny final exams jokes and even better final exams puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Totally sick of idiots letting firework off early, it's still October for goodness sake!!! Dog is going mad and keeps knocking the Christmas tree over!
- Once I had completed my final exam, my professor told me to turn it in to one of the teaching assistants. Good thing I have been practicing my origami.
- Why do old people like to read the Bible? Because some of it might he on the final exam.
- I failed a Calculus exam today. I think I've finally found my limits.
- Can you believe that the final answer on my statistics exam was: 50/50 What are the odds?
- Why did everyone pass the final confectioner exam? It was a piece of cake
- I just bubbled in all E's on the scantron for my final exam. I'm pretty sure my answers are all right.
- The Professor asks his Student his final exam question Professor: what is the punishment for polygamy?
The clueless Student thinks about it, then answers: two stepmothers? - My son asked me a question today "Dad, why am I half human, half final exam?"
- I heard the band Europe wrote a song about the days leading to the end-of-semester exams. It was the finals countdown.
:D
Board Exams Jokes
Here is a list of funny board exams jokes and even better board exams puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A lawyer and a doctor walk into a bar The doctor takes a look around and says, Wait, I'm at the wrong board exam!
- How do carpenters get certified? They take a board exam
Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Exams Jokes
What funny jokes about exams you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean exam over jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make exams pranks.
A friend of mine is going to cosmetology school...
I told her all the tests will be make-up exams.
My eyes are fine but I still failed my eye exams...
I guess I shouldn't have copied off the asian guy.
Here's the good news (OC)
A guy goes to the doctor for his regular checkup. The doctor finishes up and invites him into the office.
"So, which first? The bad news or the good news?"
"Good news, doc", says the guy.
To which the doctor replies, "Well, you won't be needing any more annual prostate exams."
Since I have a lot of exams next week...
I decided to buy a Seahawks jersey. That way, I'm sure to pass even if I shouldn't
A blonde is dying
A blonde lady walks into her Dr's office and says 'oh Doctor, I'm dying, I'm dying. The Dr says 'oh my, what's the problem?' She taps her forehead and says 'it hurts here'. She taps her neck and says 'it hurts here', she taps her chest and says 'it hurts here', she taps her stomach and says 'it hurts here'. 'I hurt everywhere Dr, I'm dying'.
The doctor exams her and says 'lady, you've got a broken finger!'.
I like my women how I like my exams...
Curvy.
I have a bad habit of screaming during r**... exams.
It really makes my patients nervous.
4 college students are having a great time on spring break.
So they decide to spend an extra week away from class. One of the students calls his professor, and says "prof, we are stuck in Daytona beach. We won't be able to make it back in time for exams because the tire on our car blew. We need to get it fixed before we head back".
The prof says "no problem. Your safety comes first. Do what you need to, and when you get back the four of you can write the exam at that point".
So the students live it up for another week. Drinking. Partying. Etcetera.
When they get back to school a week later, the prof welcomes them, sits them each in different rooms, and hands them the exam.
When they turn the page over to start writing, they find their exams have only one question: "which tire?"
I like my women like I like my exams
with curves
Wearing my bra really helps me focus on exams
I love academic support.
ISIS should hire me...
I have a lot of experience when it comes to b**..., especially on final exams.
After failing my first 2 exams, I just got an A on my third Anatomy exam...
the answers were inside me the entire time
A p**... walks into the doctor's office.
The doctor does some exams and after getting the results back realises the woman is pregnant.
"Do you know who the father is?" Asks the doctor.
The p**... proclaims, "Well doc, if you ate a can of beans would you know which one made you f**...?"
I asked the doctor how much longer I've got.
He said, "A few inches. You clearly enjoy prostate exams."
My electronegativity class in college was such a blow off class!
I got an F on all my exams for the class, but I still managed to maintain a 4.0 GPA.
My girlfriend wanted to spice things up with some schoolgirl fantasy
She seemed pretty into it but marking her exams didn't turn me on at all.
So I was in math class when the teacher asked me what comes after 69.
I said 70. I know you were expecting a joke, but I want to pass my exams.
What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his exams?
"Dad, they questioned me for 3 hours,
but I never told them anything!"
I feel really bad for my Muslim friends
They keep b**... their exams
In honor of International Women's Day, I'm offering
free breast exams in my hotel room tonight!
Forget I am your dad!
Father: If you fail again forget that I am your dad.
Son: Ok dad.
...
Father: So how were the exams?
Son: Shut up John, and mind your own business!
An overseer of exams and a poker player go into business together.
They name their company:
Proctor and Gamble
Prostate exams
They've got a thumbs up from the doctor
What do you call a police officer that also does eye exams?
A Coptometrist
I always wear my glasses during math exams...
Because it help me with division.
Women are like exams.
If they're too easy you get complacent. And if they're too difficult you start looking at someone else's.
So I went to the doctor to check on my exams.
He asked me:
- What's you sign?
Me:
- Cancer
Doctor:
- Now that's a coincidence.
I asked my doctor if he thought prostate exams were a good idea.
He gave me two thumbs up.
I had three prostate exams yesterday
Had to stop when they found out I'm not a real doctor.
There are two types of people who give exams
This subject is hard, i can't study it. Lets stay on facebook
This subject is easy, i don't need to study. Lets stay on facebook
God sends his angel to find out what students do.
Angel returns: "Three months before exams. British students study, American students have parties, Russian students also have parties".
Next time angel reports: "One month before exams. British and American students study, Russian students have parties".
Next report: "One night before exams. British and American students learn their subjects, Russian students praying". God: "Well, if they pray, we'll help them!"
A teacher was correcting exams from his students.
When he saw the exam of Joe, a student he hated, he gave him 0% without even reading his exam and wrote at the bottom:
"s**...! d**...!"
When Joe received his copy, he was so shocked he went straight to the teacher's office and said:
"Sir, you didn't even read my exam. All I see is a 0% with your name and signature at the bottom."
when my dad and his friends were in 9th grade...
...there was a guy called Peter in their class. Unfortunately he couldn't pass the final exams and had to stay in the same class for another year. then onwards they called him repeater.
Don and his son
Big time gangster Don Vito Corleone picked up his son Santino after his annual exams. 'How was it?' he asked.
'They questioned me for three hours, papa. But I told them nothing.'
If I had a dollar for every time I changed the correct answer in exams,
I'd probably pick it up first but then leave it thinking it's wrong.
Why don't fish pass their exams?
Because they work below C-Level.
(Recent) Justin Trudeau did pretty well in school...
...But as soon as he got to the "yes/no answers" section of the exams, he couldn't answer the questions and accidentally apologized to the indigenous people on behalf of someone else at a different period in time.
I failed a lot of maths exams
More than I can count
I passed all my exams
Sounds better than I never turned up for them
I had my driving exams today and scored 9 out of 10
The last guy managed to jump out of the way
Dad- I want you to score 90% in exams.
Son- Dad, don't worry, I'll score 110%.
Dad- Stop joking.
Son- You started first.
I been going to the same office since a little kid, so I feel obligated to keep goin, but lately the prostate exams are getting longer and more painful. Last time he even rubbed my shoulders during the exam...
I think I should look for a new dentist....
Michael takes an exam
Michael is taking an exam at his school. All questions are True or False questions. He hasn't studied so he decides to answer all his questions by flipping a coin.
Once the time is up, The teacher collects everyones exams but notices that Michael is still working. The teacher asks why he's still flipping the coin. Michael replies by saying I was just checking my answers.
I got fired from my last job even though I always gave 100%.
Apparently that's not how you grade exams.
Mondays are like prostate exams...
A pain in the a**..., but at least they only happen once per week.
I signed up for Binary 101 this semester and I'm failing in all the exams.
Turns out it is a level 5 course.
A father, finally exasperated looking at his son's failed test scores, shouted: " Son, if you fail your exams one more time today, don't you EVER call me your father again!!"
"Yes, father.", the son replied meekly.
After the exams, the son came home.
"How were the exams, son? Do you think you managed to pass this time?"
"NO PROBLEMO, DUDE!"
Q: Why aren't cosmetics students scared of missing their exams?
A: Because they like to take makeup tests!
Exams
A beautiful young woman, about to undergo a minor operation, is lying on a gurney in a hospital corridor awaiting the medical staff. A man in a white coat approaches her, lifts up the sheet, and visually examines her n**... body. He walks away and confers with another man in a white coat. The second man then approaches the girl and performs the same examination. When a third man approaches her, she asks impatiently, "These examinations are fine, but when are you going to start the operation?"
He shrugs and says, "Your guess is as good as mine, lady. We're just here to paint the halls."
Advice for final exams
A college student walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Wish me luck, I have end of term exams tomorrow," she tells the bartender. "Good luck," the bartender says. "Are you all prepared?" "I've done everything I can think of to prepare. I even texted my ex last night," she says. "I asked him if he had any good cheating tips."
Why aren't cosmetic students afraid of missing their exams?
They love make up tests!
The chemistry final exams
A chemistry student walks into a bar and orders a beer. "How did your finals go?" the bartender asks. "Not so hot," the student replies. "The instructor asked my class to write 1000 words on acid. Unfortunately, I was unable to complete it as my pen turned to a gorilla and the floor melted."
