JokoJokes

Examine Jokes

126 examine jokes and hilarious examine puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about examine that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Quick Jump To

Funniest Examine Short Jokes

Short examine jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The examine humour may include short examination jokes also.

  1. I asked the doctor where I should put my pants during my prostate examination. Over there next to mine, was not the answer I was expecting.
  2. I took my dog to the vet The vet picked up the dog and examined him and said "I'm sorry, I've got to put him down".
    "Why, what's wrong with him?"
    "He's too heavy"
  3. A man takes his dog to the vet to be examined... The vet picks the dog up, looks it over, and then says, "I'm going to have to put him down."
    The man asks why.
    "He's heavy."
  4. An old guy goes to the doctor The doctor examines him and says: "Well my friend, you have cancer and alzheimer's disease.
    The old guy says: "Well, at least I don't have cancer."
  5. A teenage girl went to visit the doctor for her cough complaint. The doctor examined her with his stethoscope. 'Big breaths' he said. 'Yeah, and I am only thixteen' she replied.
  6. I went to see the nurse this morning for my annual check-up. She told me that I have to stop jerking off. I asked, "Why?"
    She replied, "Because I'm trying to examine you."
  7. I went to a proctologist... And he said to me: you need to stop masturbing.
    I said: why?
    And then he responds: So I can examine you.
  8. A Russian Goes For His Eye Examination The doctor places an eye chart before him and asks if he can recognize what's written.
    The Russian: Are you kidding me? That's my cousin's name
  9. Why can't female medical examiners have kids? Because nobody puts baby in a coroner.
    Hey, at least it was original, again I will see myself out.
  10. I was at the dentist this morning and while he was examining my mouth, I bit his finger. I think I left a good impression.

Share These Examine Jokes With Friends




Examine One Liners

Which examine one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with examine? I can suggest the ones about investigate and exam over.

  1. I just got my prostate examined. That's the last time I fall asleep on the train.
  2. I just had my first prostate examination Worst dentist ever.
  3. Hey girl, are you a derivative? Because I'd like to examine the slope of your curves
  4. LPT: Don't let a doctor examine you without clothes on Make him put his clothes on
  5. My girlfriend failed her breast examination. She got a D.
    But in my eyes, she passed.
  6. What's a nuns favort part of trial The cross examination
  7. Name the nation people hate most Examination
  8. I asked Nurse Joy if she could examine me. She said "I'll take a Pikachu."
  9. I passed my conjoined twin examination. I got the answers from the guy next to me
  10. A nutritionist wants us to examine a sandwich. So lettuce...
  11. I heard you went to have your head examined but the doctors found nothing there.
  12. Which nation does Kim Jon Un hates the most? Examination
  13. What do medical examiners do for fun? Crack open a couple of cold ones.
  14. A fun story!. Harry
    Examined
    Isaac's
    Lemon
    Hiding
    In
    The
    Large
    Eating
    Room
  15. What do you call examination of professional persons? A protest

Examine joke, What do you call examination of professional persons?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about examine can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of examine puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Quirky and Hilarious Examine Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.

What funny jokes about examine you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean explore jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make examine prank.

I went to see my doctor the other day...

He told me that I needed to stop m**....
When I asked why, he explained, "Well, I'm trying to examine you."

My doctor wouldn't examine me when I said I was having hearing problems...

He just said it was ear relevant

A man went to the doctor...

The doctor walked into the room, took one look at the man, and said "Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to stop m**...."
The man asked "Why?"
To this, the doctor responded "Because I'm trying to examine you."

Not for your health.

A man walks into the doctor's office for his annual check up. The doctor starts to look him over and says, "you need to stop m**..."
The man looks up at the doctor concerned and asks, "why?"
And the doctor replies, "because i'm trying to examine you."

A guy goes to his doctor, and the doctor tells him, "You've got to stop m**...." And the guy's like, "Wait, why?"

The doctor reploes, "So I can examine you."

Prostate exam

A man goes to the doctor for a prostate exam. He pulls down his pants and after a while the doctor says "You're gonna have to stop m**...".
The man asks "Why?"
"Because I'm trying to examine you.", replies the doctor.

I went to an extremely attractive female doctor today for my annual checkup.

She told me that I had to quit m**.... I asked why and she said, "Because I'm trying to examine you."

Check up.

So a guy goes to the doctor to get his check up. He gets in there and the doctors looking him over and says "you're going to have to stop pleasuring yourself" and the man asks why? The doctor replies "because I'm trying to examine you".

A man went to see his doctor.

"You need to stop m**...," the doctor said.
The man asked, "Why?"
The doctor replied, "Because I''m trying to examine you!"

Bad News.

Doctor: "I have some bad news for you. You REALLY have to stop m**...."
"Oh my God doc, why, WHY?"
"I am trying to examine you!"

Doctor's office

A man walk's into the doctor's office to get a check-up. The doctor tells the man he needs to quit m**.... The man asks why . The doctor says, "So I can examine you".

Dr joke I just made up

A young medical intern was standing in a hospital hallway, looking flustered whilst try to examine a patients' CAT scan. Seeing his confusion, an older doctor came to see what the problem was. He saw that the intern was reading the scan upside down, and turned it around for him. Seeing that the young intern was embarrassed by his mistake, the doctor said, "don't feel embarrassed, lad, there's more than one way to skim a CAT."

A doctor tells a man that he has to stop m**....

The man is surprised and says, "Why?"
And the doctor says,"Because I'm trying to examine you!"

The other day I went to the doctors office.

The doctor said to me, "You've got to stop m**...." I replied, "What? Why?" The doctor answered, "So I can examine you."

Pentagon Contract

A contractor arrives home from Washington, D.C. and proudly tells his wife that he's gotten the contract to fix a cracked walkway into the Pentagon.
Two other contractors showed up to bid on the job, he explained to her. One was from Minnesota, the other from Tennessee. All three of us went to the Pentagon with an official to examine the cracked walkway.
The Minnesota contractor took out a tape measure, did some measuring, then worked some figures with a pencil.
'Well,' he said, 'I can do the job for about $9,000: $4,000 for materials, $4,000 for my crew, and $1,000 for me.'
The Pentagon official told him to write up his bid and send it in for consideration.
The Tennessee contractor then did the same, measuring and figuring, and then he said, 'I can do this job for $7,000. $3,000 for materials, $3,000 for my crew, and $1,000 for me.'
The Pentagon official told him to write up his bid and send it in for consideration.
I didn't measure anything. I just pulled the Pentagon official aside and whispered, I can do the job for $27,000.
The official was incredulous and said, 'You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such an incredibly high figure?'
I whispered, '$10,000 for you, $10, 000 for me, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the walkway.

A man goes to see the urologist...

And the Doctor says: "Sir, I must tell you that you have to stop m**...." Shocked, the man asks for what reason. Doctor replies: "Because otherwise I can't examine you."

A man goes to the Doctor for a physical.

The doctor says, "I'm sorry but you are going to need to stop m**...."
"Why?" the man asks.
The doctor says, "Because I'm trying to examine you."

A guy goes to the doctor for a physical...

The doctor starts the exam and about halfway through, the doctor says to him "Okay, you just need to stop m**... so much". And the guy asks "Why?".
The doctor says: "Because I'm trying to examine you".

I went to see the nurse this morning for my annual check-up...

I went to see the nurse this morning for my annual check-up. She told me that I have to stop m**....
I asked, "Why?"
She replied, "Because I'm trying to examine you."

My Doctor Told Me I'd Have To Stop m**... . . .

I'm like, "What? I thought it was OK!"
He goes, "Yeah, sure, but I'm trying to examine you!"

I made this joke!

One day the king feels the urge to examine his castle dungeons and ensure everything is running smoothly. His examination is going well when he runs across the guy operating the rack. After a bit of conversation the king asks how the rack operator's job is going to which he replies "well, it's just one long 'knight' after another."

Is that dog p**...?

A guy is walking down the street and sees a brown lump ahead. "Is that dog p**...?" He thinks to himself.
He approaches it to examine if it is dog p**.... "Well it looks like dog p**...." He bends down and sniffs it. "Smells like dog p**...." He grazes the substance with his finger. "Feels like dog p**...." His finger scoops up a part of the p**..., and he licks it. "Tastes like dog p**....... Yep, this is dog p**... alright."
"Well, good thing I didn't step in it."

A man goes to see his doctor...

A man goes to the doctor and the doctor says "I'm afraid you're going to have to stop m**...."
The man says "What! why?"
The doctor says "So I can examine you"

A man is sitting in the doctor's office...

A man is anxiously waiting in the doctor's office.
When the doctor arrives, he looks at the patient's chart and says " Sir, you need to stop m**...".
Confused the man asks "why?"
The doctor replies..."I need to examine you".

What Not to Do When You Get a Prostate Exam

Last time I went in for a prostate exam, the Doctor walked in and WOWZER! She was a drop-dead gorgeous blonde! As she's doing the finger-wave, she says....."Mike, you've got to stop m**...".....................I said "Why?" She says "Because I'm trying to examine you!"

A man goes to the doctor for an exam...

... the doctor looks at him and says, "You have to stop m**...." "Why?" asks the man. "Because I'm trying to examine you," says the doctor.

As he inserted the r**... thermometer, I got a painfully hard and obvious e**....

"Maybe you should wait outside whilst I examine your dog," said the vet.

Doctor's Orders

So I was at a doctor's appointment having a check up, when the doctor instructed me that I needed to stop m**... so furiously. When I asked why, he said "because I'm trying to examine you"

I didn't feel right so I went to the doctor. He only takes one look at me and says, "Well son, I'm afraid you're going to have to stop m**...." "Why?" I asked.

"So I can examine you."

I went to the doctor's office the other day

And he told me, "you've got to stop m**... so furiously."
I responded, "why, doc?"
He angrily responded, "because, I'm TRYING to examine you."

A man is having trouble in bed, so he goes to the doctor.

The doctor tells him he's going to need to stop m**....
"Why?" the man asks.
"So I can examine you", the doctor replies.

Guy goes to the doctor

A guy goes to the doctor because his knee is swollen and very painful. After a brief chat, the doctor instructs the man to drop his pants so he can examine the knee.
The doctor examines the guy's knee for a moment, looking at it from all angles. He finally looks up at the guy and says, "Well, I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but you're going to have to stop m**...."
"What? Why?" asks the guy.
"Because I'm trying to examine your knee."

I just got back from the doctors..

And he said I should stop m**.... I asked "why?" and he said "because I'm trying to examine you".

As he inserted the r**... thermometer, I got a painfully hard and obvious e**....

As he inserted the r**... thermometer, I got a painfully hard and obvious e**....
"Maybe you should wait outside while I examine your dog," said the vet.

A man has an appointment with a urologist.

The man is sitting on the examination table when the Urologist walks in. The urologist glances at the man's medical history, makes a few notes and then says: "Look, I hate to break it to you, but you have to stop m**...."
The man frowns and says, "Why, Doc?"
The urologist responds: "So I can examine you."

So the other day I'm at my routinely checkup.

The doctor tells me to pull down my pants so he can examine my g**..., so I do that. He takes a look, and after about 30 seconds he says to me, "you have to stop m**...." I ask, "what, why?" to which he replies "because we're in the middle of a checkup!"

I go to the doctors office...

And tell the doctor that I've been having headaches and pains in my side.
The doctor says, "We'll run every test we can." then takes some blood and leaves the room.
The doctor comes in a short time later and says "Sir, this is pretty serious, I need to ask you to stop m**...."
Horrified I ask "Why? What's wrong doctor?"
He says "I'm trying to examine you."

So this guy goes to the Dr.

And the Dr says "You have to stop m**...."
the guy says "Why?"
And the Dr says "Because I'm trying to examine you."

A dude goes to the doctor , the doctor says "sir you have to stop masturbaiting "

the patient asks why?
The doctor goes "cause i'm trying to examine you"

My doctor told me I really needed to stop m**....

I was pretty baffled. "I didn't know it was unhealthy! What's it going to hurt?"
He seemed a little stunned that I was stunned. "Look it's not that it's unhealthy; it's that I'm trying to examine you right now."

a guy goes to the doctor for a physical

the doctor takes a quick look at him and says "sir, you have to stop m**...!"
"why, what's wrong!?" the man replies.
the doctor says "because, i'm trying to examine you."

Three blind elephants examine a human being

Three blind elephants came upon a human being for the first time. They gathered close and felt the strange creature with their snouts.
The first blind elephant said, "A human being is thin and stands on its hind legs."
The second said, "A human being is flat and mushy."
The third said, "Yeah, my bad."

I went to the urologist today

The doctor was a stunning, late 20s blue eyed blonde gal.
She said "Sir - stop m**...."
So I said "Why?"
"So I can examine you."

A guy goes to his doctor.

The doctor says to him, "You need to stop m**...". The patient says "What? Why?". The doctor replies "So I can examine you"

So I went to the doctor's office today.

He tells me I need to stop m**.... I ask him why, is my heart to weak, or something? He says "no, im trying to examine you..

A man goes to the doctor with a terrible rash on his nut

The doctor says, "well you'll have to stop m**...". Man says "why?"
Doctor says, "because it's making it really hard to examine you"

A guy goes to the doctor

Doctor: I'm sorry, but I'm afraid you're going to have to stop m**....
Guy: Really, doc?! Like, forever?
Doctor: No, just for a few minutes, so I can examine you.

Doctor's Office

A man is called into the doctor's office for his yearly checkup. When he enters the office, the doctor tells the man that he needs to stop m**....
The man is taken aback. Angrily, he asks the doctor why.
The doctor says "So I can examine you."

A guy goes to the doctor

A guy goes to the doctor for his annual checkup, and the doctor says, "You need to stop m**...."
"Why?" the man asks.
The doctor replies, "Because I'm trying to examine you."

So I went to the doctor yesterday because I've been feeling tired all the time.

He told me I needed to quit m**....
I asked him if that would solve my problem. "No," he replied, "but I can't examine you while you're doing it."

My doctor told me I needed to stop m**....

I asked him why and he replied, "Because I'm trying to examine you."

A man goes to the doctor...

The doctor asks him what's wrong.
"Doc, my chest has been hurting, and I've had a terrible cough for three days. And I think I've been running a fever."
The doctor looks him up and down and quickly says, "Well I can tell you right now you're going to have to stop m**... immediately."
Shocked, the man says "Why???"
"So I can examine you."

"Sir, you have to stop m**..." The nurse said.

"But why?" The man asked
"Because I can't examine you while you're moving."

"Sir you're gonna have to stop m**..." said the Doctor.

"Why"
"Its hard to examine you if you keep moving".

My doctor told me I had to quit m**...

Turns out it was because he was trying to examine me

A Man Goes to the Doctor...

The Doctor says, "Mr. Smith - you have to stop m**...."
The man replies, "Why, Doctor?"
The Doctor says, "Because I'm trying to examine you."
[Originally heard from Walter Cronkite and Robin Williams]

As he inserted the r**... thermometer [n**...]

As he inserted the r**... thermometer, I got a painfully hard and obvious e**...
"Maybe you should wait outside whilst I examine your dog," said the vet.

A guy went to the doctor for a checkup.

The doctor said,"Well first of all, sir, you'll have to stop m**...." The guy said,"Why?" The doctor replied, "So I can examine you."

I went for a check-up the other day. The doctor said 'You've got to stop m**...'

I said, 'Why?'
'Because I'm trying to examine you'.

I went to the doctor the other day

He said that I needed to stop m**....
I asked "Why? I'm a normal 22 year old man, it shouldn't be an issue".
He said "Yeah but I'm trying to examine you".

A man goes to doctor...

"Doc, I can't sleep"
"Okay, let's have a look. Hmm... okay, sir, I think you have to quit m**..."
"Why?"
"So that I can examine you"

Doctor: "I have some bad news. You going to have to stop m**...."

Man: "That's terrible, doc, why?!"
Doctor: "I'm trying to examine you."

My doctor is a very attractive woman. At my last checkup she said, "I'm sorry but you're going to have to stop m**...." I asked, "why?"

She said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

I went to the doctor today...

He had me take off my clothes and put on a gown so he could complete a full physical. I was worried I would be receiving a prostate exam. Anyways, he walked back in and had me pull my gown up for the ole turn your head and cough check. When I did he took one look at me and said, "Very interesting....You have got to stop m**...." I asked why, he said, "Because I'm trying to examine you."

I don't know how to tell you this

Doctor: I don't know how to tell you this but you really have to stop m**....
Patient: Really doctor, why?
Doctor: So I can examine you.

My doctor told me i had to stop m**....

"Why?" I exclaimed.
"Because Im trying to examine you."

I went to the doctor and said my back hurts

He said "You're going to have to stop m**..."
"Why?"
"So I can examine you"

gay prostate exam joke

a gay man goes in to get a prostate exam.
he is told to bend over when the doctor starts to examine his prostate.
the man says to the doctor:
"please t**... ring, it's hurting me"
the doctor says:
"That's not my ring. that's my rolex!"

Louiis c**... goes to see his doctor...

Doctor says:
I have some bad news for you. You have to stop m**...!
Oh no doc! Why? Why?!
I'm trying to examine you!

I recently went to the doctor. He said you have to stop m**....

I said Why? He said "Because I'm trying to examine you.

I went to the doctor and he told me I had to stop m**....

"Why"? I asked him.
"So I can examine you." he said.

"Sir, you have to stop m**...."

"Why doctor ?"
"Because I have to examine you."

I went to the optician the other day. The optician said: "You will have to stop m**...!"

Optician: "You will have to stop m**...!"
Me: "What? It doesn't really make you go blind, does it?!"
Optician: "No, but I am trying to examine you right now."

A young man goes to the doctor.

The doctor tells him that he must stop m**....
The young man asks Why? What's up?
The doctor replies Because I am trying to examine you!

So, I had a doctors appointment yesterday.

I was sitting in the exam room in the paper gown when in walks the most gorgeous doctor I've ever seen. She picked up my chart and looked over it for a few minutes. Finally, she looked up and said, "Mr. Cow, you're going to have to stop m**...." I said, "Why?!" She said, "Because I'm trying to examine you!!"

A man is getting a checkup

Doctor: "You have to stop m**...."
Man: "Why?"
Doctor: "Because I'm trying to examine you."

Examine joke, A man is getting a checkup

jokes about examine

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these examine jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.