Exam Jokes
177 exam jokes and hilarious exam puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about exam that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article provides hilarious exam jokes to help students cope with their upcoming certification exams. Learn popular exam jokes suitable for any syllabus and have a laugh to make studying easier.
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Funniest Exam Short Jokes
Short exam jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The exam humour may include short quiz jokes also.
- On my first day at astronaut training, I vomited and asked the instructor, Is this normal? He said, Not during a written exam, no.
- During my prostate exam I asked the doctor, "where should I put my pants"? "Over there by mine", was not the answer I was expecting.
- After my prostate exam, the doctor left. The nurse came in later, with a worried look on her face, and said the three words I was dreading to hear. Who was that?
- I failed my calculus exam because I was sitting between two identical twins. It was impossible to differentiate between them.
- Why did the mermaid rush out of her maths exam, red faced and embarrassed? Because her algaebra didn't hold up.
- Lying in bed, my girlfriend turned to me and said "You're a lot like a math exam."
I replied "Why? Because I'm long and hard?"
She said, "No, I'm cheating on you with an Asian." - I failed my chemistry lab exam. I was in the middle of performing a chemical reaction but I got sued by the Fine Bros.
- Student: I've been writing my exam for 2 hours but haven't answered a single question!!! Politics Teacher: Well done, that's an A.
- A gangster asks his son how his exam went "They questioned me for 3 hours but I told them nothing, dad."
- Mom: What did you do at school today? Me: We did a guessing game
Mom: But I thought you had a math exam.
Me: That's right!
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Exam One Liners
Which exam one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with exam? I can suggest the ones about study and academic.
- I took a kleptomania exam. It wasn't mine, but I took it anyway.
- I messaged my ex on the day before my exam. I asked if she had any good cheating tips
- The professor gave me a C on my Latin exam... Aced it!
- Putting Your exam results on the window of your car So you can park in disabled spots.
- i just got my first prostate exam and im never going back to that dentist again
- I always give 100% Which is why I was sacked from being an exam marker.
- Just found out I've failed my German exam. Sacre bleu!
- A prostate exam... Is worrying when the doctor shouts "look no hands!"
- I passed my cheerleading exam... I went in and said "Give me an A!" and they did.
- I just failed my butcher's exam. Mis-steaks were made.
- How do you pass the Isis entrance exam? I don't know about you, I bombed it.
- My Canadian friend did really well on an exam He got an Eh
- What do you never want to hear during a prostate exam? Look, no hands.
- Just found out that I can't use a calculator for my exam I was really counting on that
- I scored extremely well on my socialist exam last week. I got top Marx.
After Exam Jokes
Here is a list of funny after exam jokes and even better after exam puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why do old people start reading the bible more often? They are studying for their final exam.
- A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?" He answered, "Call for backup."
- As get older, I've developed an embarrassing habit of screaming loudly during a proctology exam. It makes my patients extremely uncomfortable.
- Why did the high school girl only answer questions 1, 3, 5 and 7 on her exam? Because she literally can't even.
- I have an archaeology exam tomorrow And it doesn't matter if I pass or fail because either way...
My future's in ruins. - The human brain is amazing It functions 24 hours a day, everyday since we were born and only stops when taking an exam.
- I'm having a hard time trying to decide on which pencil to use for my English literature exam. 2B or not 2B - that is the question.
- If you sit on your hands 15 minutes before filling in an exam, it feels like somebody else is disappointing for your teacher.
- I went to the doctor today for a prostate exam. It wasn't as bad as I was expecting, until I realized both his hands were on my shoulders.
- I nearly jumped 10 feet in the air during my first prostate exam. Good thing the doctor had both his hands on my shoulders.
Exam Over Jokes
Here is a list of funny exam over jokes and even better exam over puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I got in trouble for using performance enhancing drugs I took a placebo before my psychology exam
- "relax, the prostate exam will go easier that way" said the doctor as he put a firm hand on my shoulder. And then he put his other hand on my other shoulder.
- I was worried about my prostate exam But luckily my doctor was kind enough to keep his hands on my shoulders the whole time to reassure me.
- What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his exams? "Dad, they questioned me for 3 hours,
but I never told them anything!" - The doctor asked, how many fingers am I holding up? I said, feels like two. Can you finish the prostate exam please?
- Totally sick of idiots letting firework off early, it's still October for goodness sake!!! Dog is going mad and keeps knocking the Christmas tree over!
- I got fired from my last job even though I always gave 100%. Apparently that's not how you grade exams.
- Q: When should you worry during a prostate exam? A: When both the doctor's hands are on your shoulders.
- Just saw a poor girl crying in the library, devastated about something. So I pulled up a chair, leaned in and said "You can shut up or go outside, I've got an exam tomorrow".
- How do you know that the prostate exam is going horribly wrong? When the doctor places both hands on your shoulders.
Prostate Exam Jokes
Here is a list of funny prostate exam jokes and even better prostate exam puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A man is getting a prostate exam... During the exam, the man asks the doctor, "Is there anything I should be worrying about?"
The doctor says, "Only if you can feel both my hands on your shoulders." - My doctor has the best bedside manner. During my last prostate exam, he kept me calm by putting both of his hands on my shoulders
- I always assumed you took off your pants during a prostate exam But apparently that's "not appropriate for a medical professional".
- It's Not That I Didn't Like The Prostate Exam, It's just the way he massages my shoulders while he's doing it.
- I really should've studied for my prostate exam my mom freaked out when she found out I got a D.
- The worst thing about a prostate exam is... ...when he finds out you're not a real doctor.
- I took a prostate exam at home, I think I failed... I lost my pen
- I saw your post about the prostate exam and ease you this. When you're getting your prostate exam, make sure the doctor only has ONE hand on your hip...
- When released from prison after 30 years I went for a prostate exam The doctor said he could just eyeball it.
- My Dr said the prostate exam can cause erections in some men Turns out he wasn't talking about the patient.
Exam Fail Jokes
Here is a list of funny exam fail jokes and even better exam fail puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did communism fail the exam? Because it lost Marx.
- Why did the communist fail his exam? He didn't get full Marx
- Bad news. Just found out that I've failed my English exam That's the 3th time now...
- I passed my Algebra test today but failed my Biology exam. The aftermath was really difficult.
- After failing my first 2 exams, I just got an A on my third anatomy exam... the answers were inside me the entire time
- I failed a lot of maths exams More than I can count
- My neighbor failed the entrance exam for butcher's school. He didn't make the cut.
- I was afraid I might fail my fireworks exam But I passed with flying colors
- I almost failed my breast exam... but I got 2 D's.
- You know what happens to those who ignore the past? They usually fail their history exam.
Hilarious Fun Exam Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter
What funny jokes about exam you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean essay jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make exam pranks.
A Gynecologist walks into an exam room
Gynecologist walks into an exam room. The woman on the exam table shows the doctor two strange green dots, one on each inner thigh. Puzzled at first, the doctor examines them more closely. He then asks the woman "Would you happen to be a lesbian?" The woman answers "Why, yes, but I don't see what that has to do with these dots!" The doctor replied.. "Tell your girlfriend to get some REAL gold earrings!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A young lady, pregnant for the first time, visits her doctor for a check-up
After the exam, she says to the doctor, "My husband wants me to ask you..."
The doctor cuts her off and says, "I know, I know - it's normal. You can have s**... until your third trimester."
The lady says, "No, that's not it. He wants to know how much longer can I can keep mowing the lawn."
The Final Exam
The weekend before their big history final, four college buddies decided to go to St. Louis to party with friends. However, after partying all night, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Springfield until early Monday morning.
Rather than taking their history final then, they decided to find their professor after it was over and explain to her why they had missed it.
They had gone to St. Louis for the weekend, they told her, and had planned to come back in time for the test, but on the way back, they'd taken a short cut down a dirt road and had had a flat tire. They didn't have a spare and couldn't get help for a long time and as a result they missed the final.
The Professor thought about it awhile and then agreed they could make up the final the following day.
The guys were elated. They studied together that evening and, the next morning, arrived for the test. The professor placed them in separate rooms, handed each of them a test booklet, and told them to begin.
They looked at the first problem. It asked:
"(For 5 points) On what date was the Declaration of Independence ratified?"
"Cool," they thought at the same time, each in his separate room. "This test is going to be a breeze."
Each wrote July 4, 1776 and then turned the page.
On the second page was written:
"(For 95 points): Which tire?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
at the proctologist
I was at the doctor, getting the digital r**... exam, and the doctor says: "At this point of the exam it is normal to get an e**...". I said"I don't have an e**...". The doctor says "No. But I do".
A man goes to his proctologist for an exam...
The doctor tells him to drop his drawers and let him know when he feels his thumb. After a few seconds, the doctor asks the man if he can feel it and the man replies no. A few seconds later, the doctor asks again. This time the man says yes he can feel the doctors thumb. At this point, the doctor leans over and waving both thumbs at the guys face says Surprise!
There's a question in the exam that said,
"What is the past tense of 'think'?"
So I thought and thought and thought and eventually I picked 'thinked'.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Chemistry Joke
This came to me while studying for an exam....
**What did Sodium say when Hypobromite said that it wanted to bond?**
Sodium said "NaBrO"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My doctor told me to stop m**....
I went to the doctors yesterday and was surprised when he told me i needed to stop m**....
"Why, is my s**... count low?"
"No, you just need to let me finish your prostate exam first."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A good, short oldie to end your Monday
A professor is working in his office during his open hours. It's only a week away from the final exam, so he thinks nothing when one his students comes in. That is, until he sees she's in a short skirt, a low cut top, and closes the door behind her.
She quickly takes a seat and leans over the desk, saying, "Professor, I *really* need to pass this class. If I pass this exam, I'll pass the class, so I really need your help. It's very important to me. I mean, I would do *anything* to pass this exam."
She reaches out and touches the professor's hand lightly. The professor raises an eyebrow and glances at the closed door. He clears his t**... and leans in.
"Anything?" he asks.
"Anything," she nods.
He takes in a deep breath and then asks, "Would you . . . study?"
A pirate goes to the doctor
A doctor walks into his exam room and is greeted with a strange sight: a pirate captain with a ships steering wheel protruding from his waistline. The doctor says "Well, I'm not sure what you came in here for, but I think we should start by addressing the steering wheel down your pants."
The pirate nods fervently, and says "Yarr, it's been drivin' me nuts!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Final exam
My psychology professor wrapped up the class and dicussed the final exam. He said there would be no excuses for not showing up, barring a health trauma or death in the immediate family. My friend Johnny smirked and asked, "What about extreme s**... exhaustion?"
After the chuckling died down, the professor replied, "Nope, you can use your other hand to write."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I missed a question on my biology exam today.
The question was "what are commonly found in cells?" I guess "black people" wasn't the right answer.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Wrong e**....
went to the doctor for a prostate exam....
while examening me the doctor said;"some men can get an e**... during this exam",
i repleyed; "not me"
Doctor;" i wasn't talking about you!"
Erections happen all the time
A man is about to get a prostate exam from his doctor. Before the doctor begins, he tells the man "I must tell you, during this type of examination, erections happen all the time. They are very common, and trust me, it's nothing to be embarrassed about."
The man seems a little uncomfortable, but the doctor continues, "Now a little less common, is you may get one too."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So my foreign professor overheard some attractive girls talking about how they like it long and hard.
The exam the next morning s**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A joke my grandpa told me
A man goes to the doctor for a r**... exam. The doctor says "Sir, you really need to stop m**...."
The man, worried, asks "What? Why??"
The doctor replies "Because I'm trying to do my exam."
A student comes to a young professor's office hours...
She glances down the hall, closes his door, and kneels pleadingly. "I would do anything to pass this exam." She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean..." she whispers, "I would do... anything."
He returns her gaze. "Anything?"
"Anything."
His voice softens. "Anything??"
"Absolutely anything."
His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you... study?"
What score did Lenin get on his exam paper?
...Full Marx
A Professor Calls "Pencils Down"
A professor calls pencils down and one students keeps writing.
When the student goes to turn in his exam, the professor tells him "l'm not going to accept this, you didn't put your pencil down when I said to."
"Do you have any idea who I am?" The student says, snobbily.
"I don't have the slightest idea who you are and I don't care," the professor retorted.
"Good." The student replied as he slipped his exam into the middle of the stack and walked away.
In law school...
Professor: What is fraud?
Student: If you don't let me pass the exam, you've committed fraud.
Professor: (surprised) how so?
Student: According to the law, those who take advantage of others' ignorance to cause them losses are committing fraud.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A college teacher said this about the finals tomorrow.
She said "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tommorow. I might consider something like a car c**..., or trump wins, but that's all. A student in the back of the room asked "What if i was suffering from complete s**... exhaustion?" The whole class laughed, but was silenced when the teacher said "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Last time I went for an eye exam, the doctor said to me, "You're going to have to stop m**...."
When I asked him why that could possibly be necessary, he said
"Because I'm trying to give you an eye exam."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was so embarrassed when I got an e**... during a prostate exam.
Especially when they found out I'm not even a doctor.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I went to the doctor today and he told me I needed to stop jacking off
Said it was "ruining his r**... exam".
An engineer said: When I was young I decided to go to medical school.
At the entrance exam, we were asked to rearrange the alphabets
P N E I S
and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when straight.
Those who answered SPINE are doctors today, while the rest are Engineers.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I went to get a prostate exam yesterday...
the doctor told me to get in the fetal position and relax.
"You, know", the doc said after about 30 seconds into the procedure, "it's shouldn't be embarrassing, and it's not uncommon for some men to get an e**... during this procedure."
"I don't have an e**...', I responded.
Doc responded, "Yeah, but I do."
I passed my physical exam!
But I only got a C in Hepatitis.
When I was young I decided I wanted to attend medical school...
At the entrance exam, we were asked to rearrange the following alphabets:
P N E I S
The question asked us to rearrange the letters in a way that it would spell the most important part of the body that is most useful when straight.
Those who answered *SPINE* are doctors today, and the rest of them are my friends.
Teacher : Why did you only fill in all the odd questions in the exam?
Blonde : Because i can't even
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Having s**... is a lot like giving an exam
They both end with my teacher saying "everybody in your class did it better than you"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
gay prostate exam joke
a gay man goes in to get a prostate exam.
he is told to bend over when the doctor starts to examine his prostate.
the man says to the doctor:
"please t**... ring, it's hurting me"
the doctor says:
"That's not my ring. that's my rolex!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An over the shoulder stare followed by a seductive wink is one of the sexiest things in the world.
Not during a r**... exam though!
I got caught cheating on my physics exam. Furious, my professor said to me "I hope you understand the gravity of the situation".
But if I had known that, I wouldn't be in this situation in the first place.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I did an exam on m**... and ballistic weaponry.
Scored high on the first part, but bombed the second.
My buddy signed up for one of those, "learn to be a plumber in 6 weeks" courses you see on TV and his final exam was at 9am today...
He showed up at 3pm, looked at the test paper and said, "Looks like I'm gonna need a pen for this job. I'll have to pop round to my suppliers for one. Be right back."
Graduated top of his class...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Doctor: Its perfectly normal to have an e**... during a prostate exam!
Me: But I don't have one.
Doctor: But I do!!!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was having a prostate exam...
Me:*squirms
Doctor: Don't worry, it's perfectly fine to have an e**... at a time like this.
So I tried to ignore the bulge in his pants.
A student receives a bad grade on his exam
And he goes to talk to the teacher, convinced that he's been graded unfairly.
He says to the teacher "I think I deserve some points on these questions, even if my answers weren't entirely correct!"
The teacher sighs and says "ok, I'll take another look at your exam".
The student comes home, and his mother asks him "so how did the exam go?". He replies: "the teacher thought it was remarkable!'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
During an exam, a student pokes the guy next to him and whispers, "pssst... is C the chemical symbol for chlorine?"
He whispers back, "Na, Cl you idiot!".
"OK thanks..." replies the student, "but why so salty?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A teacher was correcting exams from his students.
When he saw the exam of Joe, a student he hated, he gave him 0% without even reading his exam and wrote at the bottom:
"s**...! d**...!"
When Joe received his copy, he was so shocked he went straight to the teacher's office and said:
"Sir, you didn't even read my exam. All I see is a 0% with your name and signature at the bottom."
The Last Exam
(Sorry for terrible formatting and grammar)
A Philosophy teacher was handing out empty papers for the last exam of the year. The students had one simple task to complete,
They had to convince their teacher that the chair he had placed on the middle of the classroom didn't exist.
After 40 minutes, students returned their answer sheets. All of them had complex sentences and long paragraphs except one.
It had a single sentence.
What chair?
He was the only one to pass the exam.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
During my prostate exam, the doctor told me it was completely normal to get an e**....
When I pointed out I didn't have one he said he wasn't talking about me.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A college teacher reminds her class of the next day's final exam.
Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!
A smart-a**... guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter s**... exhaustion?
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head sweetly.
Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.
