Exam Jokes
180 exam jokes and hilarious exam puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about exam that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article provides hilarious exam jokes to help students cope with their upcoming certification exams. Learn popular exam jokes suitable for any syllabus and have a laugh to make studying easier.
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Funniest Exam Short Jokes
Short exam jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The exam humour may include short quiz jokes also.
- On my first day at astronaut training, I vomited and asked the instructor, Is this normal? He said, Not during a written exam, no.
- During my prostate exam I asked the doctor, "where should I put my pants"? "Over there by mine", was not the answer I was expecting.
- After my prostate exam, the doctor left. The nurse came in later, with a worried look on her face, and said the three words I was dreading to hear. Who was that?
- I failed my calculus exam because I was sitting between two identical twins. It was impossible to differentiate between them.
- Why did the mermaid rush out of her maths exam, red faced and embarrassed? Because her algaebra didn't hold up.
- Lying in bed, my girlfriend turned to me and said "You're a lot like a math exam."
I replied "Why? Because I'm long and hard?"
She said, "No, I'm cheating on you with an Asian." - I failed my chemistry lab exam. I was in the middle of performing a chemical reaction but I got sued by the Fine Bros.
- After my proctology exam I was left alone in the exam room for a few minutes. Then the nurse came in and whispered three words no man ever wants to hear. "Who was that?"
- Student: I've been writing my exam for 2 hours but haven't answered a single question!!! Politics Teacher: Well done, that's an A.
- There is a good chance you'll fail your calculus exam if you are sitting between identical twins. Because it's hard to differentiate between them.
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Exam One Liners
Which exam one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with exam? I can suggest the ones about study and academic.
- If i got 50 cents for every failed math exam, I'd have $ 6.30 now
- What's the worst thing to feel during a prostate exam? 2 hands on your shoulders
- I took a kleptomania exam. It wasn't mine, but I took it anyway.
- I failed my Greek Mythology exam. It has always been my achilles' elbow
- I messaged my ex on the day before my exam. I asked if she had any good cheating tips
- The professor gave me a C on my Latin exam... Aced it!
- Putting Your exam results on the window of your car So you can park in disabled spots.
- i just got my first prostate exam and im never going back to that dentist again
- I always give 100% Which is why I was sacked from being an exam marker.
- Just found out I've failed my German exam. Sacre bleu!
- If I had 50p every time I failed a maths exam I would have £3.57 right now
- My friend told me he failed his authentic Australian music exam. I asked "didja redo it"?
- A prostate exam... Is worrying when the doctor shouts "look no hands!"
- I passed my cheerleading exam... I went in and said "Give me an A!" and they did.
- I just failed my butcher's exam. Mis-steaks were made.
Exam Over Jokes
Here is a list of funny exam over jokes and even better exam over puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A gangster asks his son how his exam went "They questioned me for 3 hours but I told them nothing, dad."
- I failed my calculus exam because I was seated between two identical twins. I couldn't differentiate between them.
- A frustrated student handed in his exam. "I've been writing for two hours, yet i haven't answered a single question!" he complained.
"Well done, that's a straight A." replied the Politics Teacher. - After my prostate exam the doctor walked out and the nurse walked in. Then she asked me something no man wants to hear.. Who was that..
- I missed a question on my biology exam today. The question was "what are commonly found in cells?" I guess "black people" wasn't the right answer.
- Mom: What did you do at school today? Me: We did a guessing game
Mom: But I thought you had a math exam.
Me: That's right! - For our chemistry exam we had to write a thousand words on acid. Unfortunately my pen turned into a gorilla and the floor melted.
- Why do old people start reading the bible more often? They are studying for their final exam.
- A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?" He answered, "Call for backup."
- As get older, I've developed an embarrassing habit of screaming loudly during a proctology exam. It makes my patients extremely uncomfortable.
After Exam Jokes
Here is a list of funny after exam jokes and even better after exam puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did the high school girl only answer questions 1, 3, 5 and 7 on her exam? Because she literally can't even.
- I have an archaeology exam tomorrow And it doesn't matter if I pass or fail because either way...
My future's in ruins. - The human brain is amazing It functions 24 hours a day, everyday since we were born and only stops when taking an exam.
- I'm having a hard time trying to decide on which pencil to use for my English literature exam. 2B or not 2B - that is the question.
- If you sit on your hands 15 minutes before filling in an exam, it feels like somebody else is disappointing for your teacher.
- If I had 50 cents for every math exam I failed in college... I would be up to about $6.30 now.
- I went to the doctor today for a prostate exam. It wasn't as bad as I was expecting, until I realized both his hands were on my shoulders.
- When writing your calculus exam, make sure you don't sit between twins. Because you might not be able to differentiate between them.
- I nearly jumped 10 feet in the air during my first prostate exam. Good thing the doctor had both his hands on my shoulders.
- Student: (*hands in exam*) "I've been writing for 2 hours but I haven't answered a single question!" Politics Teacher: "Congratulations, that's a straight A."
Prostate Exam Jokes
Here is a list of funny prostate exam jokes and even better prostate exam puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- "relax, the prostate exam will go easier that way" said the doctor as he put a firm hand on my shoulder. And then he put his other hand on my other shoulder.
- I was worried about my prostate exam But luckily my doctor was kind enough to keep his hands on my shoulders the whole time to reassure me.
- The doctor asked, how many fingers am I holding up? I said, feels like two. Can you finish the prostate exam please?
- Went in for a prostate exam... I asked the doctor where I should put my pants.
"Right over there with mine"... - I got a prostate exam yesterday and that went pretty smoothly. The doctor had both hands on my shoulders though, so I was a bit confused.
- Q: When should you worry during a prostate exam? A: When both the doctor's hands are on your shoulders.
- How do you know that the prostate exam is going horribly wrong? When the doctor places both hands on your shoulders.
- I had my prostate exam yesterday. It's the last time I will ever fall asleep on the subway.
- A man goes for his first prostate exam "I am sorry doctor, but where can I leave my pants?"
"Right there where I left mine" - the doctor says - A man is getting a prostate exam... During the exam, the man asks the doctor, "Is there anything I should be worrying about?"
The doctor says, "Only if you can feel both my hands on your shoulders."
Failed Exam Jokes
Here is a list of funny failed exam jokes and even better failed exam puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I signed up for Binary 101 this semester and I'm failing in all the exams. Turns out it is a level 5 course.
- What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his exams? "Dad, they questioned me for 3 hours,
but I never told them anything!" - Why did communism fail the exam? Because it lost Marx.
- I took a prostate exam at home, I think I failed... I lost my pen
- Why did the communist fail his exam? He didn't get full Marx
- Bad news. Just found out that I've failed my English exam That's the 3th time now...
- I passed my Algebra test today but failed my Biology exam. The aftermath was really difficult.
- If I had a dollar for every maths exam I failed I'd have about $6.50 right now
- After failing my first 2 exams, I just got an A on my third Anatomy exam... the answers were inside me the entire time
- I failed a lot of maths exams More than I can count
Hilarious Fun Exam Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter
What funny jokes about exam you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean testing jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make exam pranks.
So a guy walks into the doctors office...
...and says, "Doc, you gotta help me, I woke up this morning and my left eye was blind!"
"Alright," says the Doctor, "have a seat and I'll check you out."
The doctor looks him in the eye, and after a second says "Well, you're going to have to stop m**... for a little while."
"Why?" asks the man.
"Because I'm trying to give you an eye exam."
Prostate exam
A man goes to the doctor for a prostate exam. He pulls down his pants and after a while the doctor says "You're gonna have to stop m**...".
The man asks "Why?"
"Because I'm trying to examine you.", replies the doctor.
A Gynecologist walks into an exam room
Gynecologist walks into an exam room. The woman on the exam table shows the doctor two strange green dots, one on each inner thigh. Puzzled at first, the doctor examines them more closely. He then asks the woman "Would you happen to be a lesbian?" The woman answers "Why, yes, but I don't see what that has to do with these dots!" The doctor replied.. "Tell your girlfriend to get some REAL gold earrings!"
The Polish eye exam.
A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.
First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters
~~'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'~~ 'C Z W I K S N O S T A C Z'
'Can you read this?' the optician asked.
'Read it?' the Polish guy replied, 'I know the guy.'
Last year I took a visual design class...
...and our final exam was to design a fireworks display.
I passed with flying colors.
A young lady, pregnant for the first time, visits her doctor for a check-up
After the exam, she says to the doctor, "My husband wants me to ask you..."
The doctor cuts her off and says, "I know, I know - it's normal. You can have s**... until your third trimester."
The lady says, "No, that's not it. He wants to know how much longer can I can keep mowing the lawn."
Medical School Entrance Exam...
When I was young (100 yrs. Ago) and my intent was to go to medical school, the entrance exam included several questions that would determine eligibility.
One of the questions was "Rearrange the letters P N E S I to spell out an important part of the human body that is more useful when e**...."
Those who spelled "SPINE" became Doctors. The rest ended up in Congress.
The Final Exam
The weekend before their big history final, four college buddies decided to go to St. Louis to party with friends. However, after partying all night, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Springfield until early Monday morning.
Rather than taking their history final then, they decided to find their professor after it was over and explain to her why they had missed it.
They had gone to St. Louis for the weekend, they told her, and had planned to come back in time for the test, but on the way back, they'd taken a short cut down a dirt road and had had a flat tire. They didn't have a spare and couldn't get help for a long time and as a result they missed the final.
The Professor thought about it awhile and then agreed they could make up the final the following day.
The guys were elated. They studied together that evening and, the next morning, arrived for the test. The professor placed them in separate rooms, handed each of them a test booklet, and told them to begin.
They looked at the first problem. It asked:
"(For 5 points) On what date was the Declaration of Independence ratified?"
"Cool," they thought at the same time, each in his separate room. "This test is going to be a breeze."
Each wrote July 4, 1776 and then turned the page.
On the second page was written:
"(For 95 points): Which tire?"
Entrance Exam
A recent entrance exam for Medical School included several questions that would determine eligibility.
One of the questions was "Rearrange the letters P N E S I to spell out an important part of the human body that is more useful when e**...."
Those who spelled 'spine' became Doctors.
The rest ended up in Congress.
at the proctologist
I was at the doctor, getting the digital r**... exam, and the doctor says: "At this point of the exam it is normal to get an e**...". I said"I don't have an e**...". The doctor says "No. But I do".
At the Doctor
A man is at the doctor for his physical.
The doctor says, "Alright, just pull down your pants so I can have a look."
The man does as instructed.
The doctor says, "You should stop m**...."
The man ask's, "Why?"
The doctor replies, "So I can start the exam."
I took my Biology exam last Friday
I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently "b**..." and "Mexicans" were NOT the correct answers.
New Prostate Exam Joke
A man goes to the doctor for his first prostate exam. While the Doctor is performing the exam, he says to the patient, " Don't be embarassed, its common for men to get an e**... during this part of the exam".
The patient answers "I don't have an e**..."
The Doctor replies "I know, I do"
An old woman decides to get a physical after a number of years.
While the doctor is examining her she mentions that over the years she has learned to f**... silently and they never smell anymore. The doctor said "Ok, that's great", finishes up the exam, gives her a prescription and tells her to come back in a couple of weeks.
When she returns, she complains that her farts now smell awful.
"Good" he said. "Now that we've cleared out your sinuses let's work on your hearing."
My doctor told me to stop m**....
I went to the doctors yesterday and was surprised when he told me i needed to stop m**....
"Why, is my s**... count low?"
"No, you just need to let me finish your prostate exam first."
A good, short oldie to end your Monday
A professor is working in his office during his open hours. It's only a week away from the final exam, so he thinks nothing when one his students comes in. That is, until he sees she's in a short skirt, a low cut top, and closes the door behind her.
She quickly takes a seat and leans over the desk, saying, "Professor, I *really* need to pass this class. If I pass this exam, I'll pass the class, so I really need your help. It's very important to me. I mean, I would do *anything* to pass this exam."
She reaches out and touches the professor's hand lightly. The professor raises an eyebrow and glances at the closed door. He clears his t**... and leans in.
"Anything?" he asks.
"Anything," she nods.
He takes in a deep breath and then asks, "Would you . . . study?"
In school, the teacher warns her students...
..."I will not tolerate any excuses for any kind. I might consider a nuclear attack, serious injury or even the death of a relative, but whoever misses this exam will fail the class."
The class's wise-guy says:
"But teacher, what if tomorrow I arrive to class completely exhausted from last night's amazing s**...?"
The teacher says:
"Well I guess you'll have to do the exam with your left hand, then."
How do you pass the Isis entrance exam?
I don't know about you, I bombed it.
Wrong e**....
went to the doctor for a prostate exam....
while examening me the doctor said;"some men can get an e**... during this exam",
i repleyed; "not me"
Doctor;" i wasn't talking about you!"
Erections happen all the time
A man is about to get a prostate exam from his doctor. Before the doctor begins, he tells the man "I must tell you, during this type of examination, erections happen all the time. They are very common, and trust me, it's nothing to be embarrassed about."
The man seems a little uncomfortable, but the doctor continues, "Now a little less common, is you may get one too."
A joke my grandpa told me
A man goes to the doctor for a r**... exam. The doctor says "Sir, you really need to stop m**...."
The man, worried, asks "What? Why??"
The doctor replies "Because I'm trying to do my exam."
A student comes to a young professor's office hours...
She glances down the hall, closes his door, and kneels pleadingly. "I would do anything to pass this exam." She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean..." she whispers, "I would do... anything."
He returns her gaze. "Anything?"
"Anything."
His voice softens. "Anything??"
"Absolutely anything."
His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you... study?"
Prostate Exam
After my recent Prostate Exam - one of the most thorough examinations I've ever had –
the Doctor left the room and the nurse came in.
After she shut the door, she asked me a question I didn't want to hear....
She said...."Who was that guy?"
A Professor Calls "Pencils Down"
A professor calls pencils down and one students keeps writing.
When the student goes to turn in his exam, the professor tells him "l'm not going to accept this, you didn't put your pencil down when I said to."
"Do you have any idea who I am?" The student says, snobbily.
"I don't have the slightest idea who you are and I don't care," the professor retorted.
"Good." The student replied as he slipped his exam into the middle of the stack and walked away.
In law school...
Professor: What is fraud?
Student: If you don't let me pass the exam, you've committed fraud.
Professor: (surprised) how so?
Student: According to the law, those who take advantage of others' ignorance to cause them losses are committing fraud.
A college teacher said this about the finals tomorrow.
She said "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tommorow. I might consider something like a car c**..., or trump wins, but that's all. A student in the back of the room asked "What if i was suffering from complete s**... exhaustion?" The whole class laughed, but was silenced when the teacher said "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand"
Just saw a poor girl crying in the library, devastated about something.
So I pulled up a chair, leaned in and said "You can shut up or go outside, I've got an exam tomorrow".
Last time I went for an eye exam, the doctor said to me, "You're going to have to stop m**...."
When I asked him why that could possibly be necessary, he said
"Because I'm trying to give you an eye exam."
I was so embarrassed when I got an e**... during a prostate exam.
Especially when they found out I'm not even a doctor.
I went to the doctor today and he told me I needed to stop jacking off
Said it was "ruining his r**... exam".
An engineer said: When I was young I decided to go to medical school.
At the entrance exam, we were asked to rearrange the alphabets
P N E I S
and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when straight.
Those who answered SPINE are doctors today, while the rest are Engineers.
I went to get a prostate exam yesterday...
the doctor told me to get in the fetal position and relax.
"You, know", the doc said after about 30 seconds into the procedure, "it's shouldn't be embarrassing, and it's not uncommon for some men to get an e**... during this procedure."
"I don't have an e**...', I responded.
Doc responded, "Yeah, but I do."
It's awkward when you get an e**... during a prostate exam
And they realize you're not a doctor.
I went to the doctor today...
He had me take off my clothes and put on a gown so he could complete a full physical. I was worried I would be receiving a prostate exam. Anyways, he walked back in and had me pull my gown up for the ole turn your head and cough check. When I did he took one look at me and said, "Very interesting....You have got to stop m**...." I asked why, he said, "Because I'm trying to examine you."
gay prostate exam joke
a gay man goes in to get a prostate exam.
he is told to bend over when the doctor starts to examine his prostate.
the man says to the doctor:
"please t**... ring, it's hurting me"
the doctor says:
"That's not my ring. that's my rolex!"
An over the shoulder stare followed by a seductive wink is one of the sexiest things in the world.
Not during a r**... exam though!
A mother is helping her son revise for a geography exam
She asks "What's the Capital of Germany?"
He replies "Berlin."
She then asks "What's the Capital of France?"
He replies "Berlin."
She asks "What's the Capital of Russia?"
He replies "Berlin."
She finally asks "What's the Capital of Poland?"
He replies "Berlin."
She then hugs him and says "I'm sure you'll do great, Adolf"
I got caught cheating on my physics exam. Furious, my professor said to me "I hope you understand the gravity of the situation".
But if I had known that, I wouldn't be in this situation in the first place.
I did an exam on m**... and ballistic weaponry.
Scored high on the first part, but bombed the second.
The teacher announces the total for an exam.
Teacher: Okay class, only John got 99/100
John:(to his classmates) Ha! See that?! You people are oozing with stupidity. You people should've followed my example. You guys should just shine shoes for a living or just live the rest of your lives as a mountain hermit. You can all drool at my excellence and you-
Teacher: The rest got 100.
My buddy signed up for one of those, "learn to be a plumber in 6 weeks" courses you see on TV and his final exam was at 9am today...
He showed up at 3pm, looked at the test paper and said, "Looks like I'm gonna need a pen for this job. I'll have to pop round to my suppliers for one. Be right back."
Graduated top of his class...
Doctor: Its perfectly normal to have an e**... during a prostate exam!
Me: But I don't have one.
Doctor: But I do!!!
I got in trouble for using performance enhancing drugs
I took a placebo before my psychology exam
I had a prostate exam the other day...
When I entered the examination room and asked the doctor where I should put my trousers, I have to say, "over there with mine" was not the answer I was expecting.
Years ago, I decided I wanted to be a doctor
Years ago, I decided I wanted to be a doctor,
so I took the entrance exam to go to medical
school.
One of the many questions on human anatomy
asked was to rearrange the letters PNEIS" into
the name of "an important human body part which
is most useful when e**...."
Those who answered "spine" are now doctors
The rest of us are posting jokes on social media.
I was having a prostate exam...
Me:*squirms
Doctor: Don't worry, it's perfectly fine to have an e**... at a time like this.
So I tried to ignore the bulge in his pants.
A student receives a bad grade on his exam
And he goes to talk to the teacher, convinced that he's been graded unfairly.
He says to the teacher "I think I deserve some points on these questions, even if my answers weren't entirely correct!"
The teacher sighs and says "ok, I'll take another look at your exam".
The student comes home, and his mother asks him "so how did the exam go?". He replies: "the teacher thought it was remarkable!'
During an exam, a student pokes the guy next to him and whispers, "pssst... is C the chemical symbol for chlorine?"
He whispers back, "Na, Cl you idiot!".
"OK thanks..." replies the student, "but why so salty?"
