Ewe Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

Husband doing crossword with his wife

Husband: Emphatic no, five letters.

Wife: Never

H: Pistol, 3 letters.

W: Gun

H: Disgust, 3 letters.

W: Ugh

H: Charity, 4 letters.

W: Give

H: Female sheep, 3 letters

W: Ewe

H: Pixar movie, 2 letters

W: Up

Husband doing crossword with wife..

Husband : emphatic no, five letters
 

Wife : never

H : pistol, three letters
 

W : gun

H : disgust, three letters
 

W : ugh

H : charity, four letters
 

W : give

H : female sheep, three letters
 

W : ewe

H : Pixar movie, two letters
 

W : Up

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish Highlander?

Mick Jagger sings, "Hey you, get off of my cloud . . ", while the Scottish Highlander yells, "Hey McCloud, get off of my ewe!"

I accidentally walked in on my daughter masturbating

I accidentally walked in on my daughter masturbating with a cucumber and I immediately shut the door.

"Ewe gross, I was going to eat that later, now it's going to taste like a cucumber"

Why did the ram run off the cliff?

He didn't see the ewe turn.

Husband doing crosswords with his wife

Husband: emphatic no, five letters

Wife: never

H: pistol, three letters

W: gun

H: disgust, three letters

W: ugh

H: charity, four letters

W: give

H: female sheep, three letters

W: ewe

H: Pixar movie, two letters

W: Up

A group of sheep walk into a buffet.

The waiter approaches the group and says, "the ladies can eat, but the men will only be able to order drinks".

"Baaa... care to explain yourself?" asks one of the rams

"I'm sorry Sir, but as the sign stated on the door, this is an all ewe can eat buffet".

What's the difference between a Scotsman and the Rolling Stones?

The Rolling Stones sing "hey you... Get off of my cloud."

The Scotsman says, "Hey McCloud, get off of my ewe."

What's the difference between an angel and a Scotsman?

An angel will say, "Hey you, get off of my cloud!" and a Scotsman will say, "Hey Macleod, get off of my ewe!"

What did the ram say as his lover lay on her deathbed?

There will never be another ewe.

What's the difference between a Scotsman and The Rolling Stones?

The Scotsman says Hey Macleod, get off my ewe!!






I'll see myself out.

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scotsman?

Mick Jagger screams "Hey, you! Get off of my cloud!"

A Scotsman screams "Hey, McCloud! Get off of my ewe!"

What did the fat sheep say to her husband?

"I love being a round ewe"

What do you call an ugly sheep?

Ewe

___


^^[Admittedly, ^^it's ^^better ^^said ^^out ^^than ^^read ^^out.]

It's easier to take Wales out of the EU...

...than it is to take a Welshman out of the ewe.

What's the difference between a rolling stone and a Scottish shepherd?

One says, "hey, you! Get off of my cloud!"

The other says, "hey Macleod! Get off of my ewe!"

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottsman?

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottsman?
Mick Jagger says "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!"
and the Scottsman says "Hey, McLeod, get off of my ewe!"

What did Dolly the Sheep's friend say to her right after her clone was born?

Look, it's a little ewe.

If I carved a sheep from this tree trunk, would you buy it bro?

Wood ewe?!

What version of the Rolling Stones' "Hey You, Get Off of My Cloud" is played on Scottish Radio?

Hey, McCloud! Get off of my ewe!

What's a sheep's favourite band?

Ewe 2

Why did the Sheep run off the cliff?

He didn't see the ewe turn

What did the gay sheep say when it saw a female sheep?

Ewe.

What was the first thing the farmers daughter said after watching a sheep give birth for the first time?

Ewe

What did the baby sheep say to its mother on the phone?

"Miss ewe!"

Here, have a pair of lamb-chops

Just my way of saying its slice two meat ewe.

That's baaad

A sheep goes to see a doctor.


"How are ewe doing today," he asks.


"I'm a little horse," she says.


"Ma'am," says the doctor, "I'm afraid you have a dissociative identity disorder."

Friends do crosswords

Friend 1: emphatic NO, five letters

Friend 2: Never

Friend 1: firearm, three letters

Friend 2: Gun

Friend 1: disgust, three letters

Friend 2: ugh

Friend 1: form of charity, four letters

Friend 2: give

Friend 1: female sheep, three letters

Friend 2: ewe

Friend 1: Pixar movie, two letters

Friend 2: up

What did Gandalf say to the sheep farmer that wanted to cross his land?

Ewe shall not pass.

Making love to a woman is like a Ram playing a violin...

He may not be very good at it, but it's still better than ewe

Did you hear the single by the Scottish Rolling Stones?

Hey Mcloud get off of my Ewe!

What does the license plate of the sheep farmer say?

Ewe haul.

what did the ram say when his mom found drugs in his dresser drawer?

I learned it from watching ewe!

Why did the ram run off the cliff?

He missed the ewe turn

What does the IT sheep tell its clients?

Ewe need more Ram!

Did you hear about how Bane is breeding sheep?

It's extremely painful.

For ewe.

The Chuckle Brothers hold the record for the World's biggest sheep

They've got a 2 metre ewe.

I consider you a female sheep

Gotta say it aloud.

*ewe

What did the cyclops say to the sheep?

"Ewe and eye make a great team."

It's not my place to judge you for having sex with a sheep.

You do ewe.

What did the Romantic Hurricane say to the sheep covered volcano?

Eye Lava Ewe

Did you know sheep really hate Pixar?

Never gonna give ewe up

A sheep calls a sex line...

Sheep: I'd ram you so hard.

Operator: Ewe are a baaaaaad boy!

Do you know the best way to cook lamb?

Well done ewe.

Why would somebody punch a sheep?

Ewe wouldn't understand.

What did the misogynistic ram say?

I don't like ewe.

What are the funniest ewe jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Ewe? Well, here are the best Ewe puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Ewe pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes