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Ewe Jokes

75 ewe jokes and hilarious ewe puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ewe that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Need a few laughs? Look no further! Explore our collection of hilarious Ewe jokes that are sure to make you smile. From puns about sheeple to jokes about ram and sheep, this collection of jokes is sure to keep you laughing. Read on for a good time.

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Funniest Ewe Short Jokes

Short ewe jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ewe humour may include short ram jokes also.

  1. How do you tell the difference between and Englishman and a Scotsman? One says, "hey you, get off of my cloud," the other says "hey Macleod, get off of my EWE!"
  2. What's the difference between a Scotsman and the Rolling Stones? The Rolling Stones sing "hey you... Get off of my cloud."
    The Scotsman says, "Hey McCloud, get off of my ewe."
  3. What's the difference between an angel and a Scotsman? An angel will say, "Hey you, get off of my cloud!" and a Scotsman will say, "Hey Macleod, get off of my ewe!"
  4. What's the difference between a Scotsmen and The Rolling Stones? The Rolling Stones would yell 'Hey! You! Get offa mah cloud!"
    But a Scotsmen would tell 'Hey! McCloud! Get offa mah EWE!'
  5. What's the difference between a Scotsman and The Rolling Stones? The Scotsman says Hey Macleod, get off my ewe!!

    I'll see myself out.
  6. Did you hear about the farmer who left her sheep out in the blizzard? She had to take them to the Icy Ewe ward.
  7. What do you call an ugly sheep? Ewe
    ___
    ^^[Admittedly, ^^it's ^^better ^^said ^^out ^^than ^^read ^^out.]
  8. I lacked confidence in my ability as a sheep shearer....until I started shearing female sheep.... Ewes make me feel like a natural woolman....
  9. What's the difference between a rolling stone and a Scottish shepherd? One says, "hey, you! Get off of my cloud!"
    The other says, "hey Macleod! Get off of my ewe!"
  10. It's easier to take Wales out of the EU... ...than it is to take a Welshman out of the ewe.

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Ewe One Liners

Which ewe one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ewe? I can suggest the ones about cattle and sheep ewe.

  1. Why did the ram run off the cliff? He didn't see the ewe turn.
  2. What did the ram say as his lover lay on her deathbed? There will never be another ewe.
  3. What did the sheep say when he dumped his girlfriend? It's not me, it's ewe
  4. What does a sheep’s Valentine’s Day card say? I love ewe.
  5. What did the fat sheep say to her husband? "I love being a round ewe"
  6. What did one indebted sheep say to the other? I owe ewe
  7. What's Little Bo Peep's favorite song? Never Gonna Give "Ewe" Up
  8. What is a New Zealanders favourite love song? I cant help falling in love with ewe..
  9. You know what's the favourite holiday song in Wales? All I Want For Christmas is Ewe
  10. If I carved a sheep from this tree trunk, would you buy it bro? Wood ewe?!
  11. What's a sheep's favourite band? Ewe 2
  12. What did the gay sheep say when it saw a female sheep? Ewe.
  13. Here, have a pair of lamb-chops Just my way of saying its slice two meat ewe.
  14. What did the baby sheep say to its mother on the phone? "Miss ewe!"
  15. Did you hear the single by the Scottish Rolling Stones? Hey Mcloud get off of my Ewe!

Sheep Ewe Jokes

Here is a list of funny sheep ewe jokes and even better sheep ewe puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why did Russia assemble an army of female sheep and wading birds at the border? They were preparing for a ewe-crane invasion.
  • What did Dolly the Sheep's friend say to her right after her clone was born? Look, it's a little ewe.
  • My wife tells me that she can't stand sheep. I told her that I think that's a ewe problem.
  • What was the first thing the farmers daughter said after watching a sheep give birth for the first time? Ewe
  • That's baaad A sheep goes to see a doctor.
    "How are ewe doing today," he asks.
    "I'm a little horse," she says.
    "Ma'am," says the doctor, "I'm afraid you have a dissociative identity disorder."
  • What did Gandalf say to the sheep farmer that wanted to cross his land? Ewe shall not pass.
  • What does the license plate of the sheep farmer say? Ewe haul.
  • What does the IT sheep tell its clients? Ewe need more Ram!
  • Did you hear about how Bane is breeding sheep? It's extremely painful.
    For ewe.
  • How do you make sheep cheddar? Ewes milk.

Great Ewe Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends

What funny jokes about ewe you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean goat jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ewe pranks.

Husband doing crossword with his wife

Husband: Emphatic no, five letters.
Wife: Never
H: p**..., 3 letters.
W: Gun
H: Disgust, 3 letters.
W: Ugh
H: Charity, 4 letters.
W: Give
H: Female sheep, 3 letters
W: Ewe
H: Pixar movie, 2 letters
W: Up

Husband doing crossword with wife..

Husband : emphatic no, five letters
 
Wife : never
H : p**..., three letters
 
W : gun
H : disgust, three letters
 
W : ugh
H : charity, four letters
 
W : give
H : female sheep, three letters
 
W : ewe
H : Pixar movie, two letters
 
W : Up

What's the difference between m**... Jagger and a Scottish Highlander?

m**... Jagger sings, "Hey you, get off of my cloud . . ", while the Scottish Highlander yells, "Hey McCloud, get off of my ewe!"

So I was doing crossword with my girlfriend,

Me: Emphatic no, five letters.
She: **Never**
Me: p**..., 3 letters.
She: **Gun**
Me: Disgust, 3 letters.
She: **Ugh**
Me: Charity, 4 letters.
She: **Give**
Me: Female sheep, 3 letters
She: **Ewe**
Me: Pixar movie, 2 letters
She: **Up**

I accidentally walked in on my daughter m**...

I accidentally walked in on my daughter m**... with a cucumber and I immediately shut the door.
"Ewe g**..., I was going to eat that later, now it's going to taste like a cucumber"

A husband is doing crosswords with his wife.

**Husband:** Emphatic no; five letters.
**Wife:** Never.
**H:** p**...; three letters.
**W:** Gun.
**H:** Disgust; three letters.
**W:** Ugh.
**H:** Charity; four letters.
**W:** Give.
**H:** Female sheep; three letters.
**W:** Ewe.
**H:** Pixar movie; two letters.
**W:** Up.

I once ate a wool scarf.

I s**... ewe knot.

A group of sheep walk into a buffet.

The waiter approaches the group and says, "the ladies can eat, but the men will only be able to order drinks".
"Baaa... care to explain yourself?" asks one of the rams
"I'm sorry Sir, but as the sign stated on the door, this is an all ewe can eat buffet".

I ate some tangled up wool.

I s**... ewe knot

What's the difference between m**... Jagger and a Scotsman?

m**... Jagger screams "Hey, you! Get off of my cloud!"
A Scotsman screams "Hey, McCloud! Get off of my ewe!"

What's the difference between m**... Jagger and a Scottsman?

What's the difference between m**... Jagger and a Scottsman?
m**... Jagger says "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!"
and the Scottsman says "Hey, McLeod, get off of my ewe!"

What version of the Rolling Stones' "Hey You, Get Off of My Cloud" is played on Scottish Radio?

Hey, McCloud! Get off of my ewe!

Kiwi Farmer

The kiwi farmer is taking his Aussie mate on a tour of his farm. In the top paddock they come across a ewe with its head stuck in the fence. Without hesitation the kiwi jumps the ewe and has his way. He turns to his Aussie mate and says do you want a turn? OK says the Aussie and sticks his head in the fence.

Crossword solving husband

Husband doing crossword with his wife
Husband: Emphatic no, five letters.
Wife: Never
H: p**..., 3 letters.
W: Gun
H: Disgust, 3 letters.
W: Ugh
H: Charity, 4 letters.
W: Give
H: Female sheep, 3 letters
W: Ewe
H: Pixar movie, 2 letters
W: Up

Friends do crosswords

Friend 1: emphatic NO, five letters
Friend 2: Never
Friend 1: firearm, three letters
Friend 2: Gun
Friend 1: disgust, three letters
Friend 2: ugh
Friend 1: form of charity, four letters
Friend 2: give
Friend 1: female sheep, three letters
Friend 2: ewe
Friend 1: Pixar movie, two letters
Friend 2: up

Making love to a woman is like a Ram playing a violin...

He may not be very good at it, but it's still better than ewe

what did the ram say when his mom found drugs in his dresser drawer?

I learned it from watching ewe!

I consider you a female sheep

Gotta say it aloud.
*ewe

The Chuckle Brothers hold the record for the World's biggest sheep

They've got a 2 metre ewe.

What did the cyclops say to the sheep?

"Ewe and eye make a great team."

jokes about ewe