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Evils Jokes

34 evils jokes and hilarious evils puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about evils that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Evils Short Jokes

Short evils jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The evils humour may include short most evil jokes also.

  1. I think my wife has weekly sessions with the devil on how to be more evil. I don't know what she charge him for it though.
  2. King: How many volunteers do we have for my evil army? Squire: 384 my liege

    king: Ok, round them up
    Squire: 400 my liege
  3. My grandfather developed cancer in his early twenties. He is considered to be the most evil scientist that ever lived.
  4. What would you call someone with the power to heal others but chooses to be evil? The American Healthcare System
  5. Did you ever hear about the Lucky Charms leprechaun's evil twin? He was tragically malicious.
  6. My ex had weekly lessons with the devil on how to become more evil I still don't know how much she charged him though.
  7. Dr Horrible got a great deal on getting into the Evil League of Evil It only cost him a Penny
  8. Why don't vampires feel bad about the evil things they do? They're incapable of reflection
    (I'll see myself out)
  9. I've stopped doing drugs for good. I'm doing them for completely evil reasons now.
  10. I quit smoking for good Now I smoke for evil.

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Evils One Liners

Which evils one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with evils? I can suggest the ones about villain and wicked.

  1. Why does spiderman hate driving with his evil twin? Because he's a bad parallel Parker
  2. Why is the North korean dictator so evil? Because he has no Seoul.
  3. Today I quit drinking for good now I only drink for evil
  4. I've finally stopped drinking for good. Now I drink for evil
  5. What do you call an evil wizard who gives good hickeys? A neck romancer.
  6. What do evil cows say? Moo ha ha.
  7. Why did Spider-Man's evil twin fail his driver's test? He was a bad parallel Parker.
  8. Why is Kim Jong-un so evil? He doesn't have a Seoul
  9. I finally quit drinking for good Now I drink for evil
  10. What does an evil cow say? Moohaha
  11. Do you know what evil kisses sound like? Muah hahaha
  12. What did the evil optician say? "You'll see. You'll ALL see! Muahahahahaha!"
  13. Don't live backwards: It's evil.
  14. Where do evil mathematicians go? Prism.
  15. What does the evil optometrist say? "you'll see. You'll all see! Muahahahaha!"

Evils joke, What does the evil optometrist say?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about evils can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of evils puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Hilarious Evils Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter

What funny jokes about evils you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean sins jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make evils prank.

A man wanted to teach his sons the evils of alcohol

So he takes out two glasses. Fills one with bourbon and one with water.
He puts A worm in the bourbon and a worm in the water. Worm in the water lives, worm in the bourbon dies.
He turns to his son and say "now what does that teach you about the evils of alcohol?"
His son thought about it for a second and says "well if I drink bourbon I won't get worms"
-my dad tells this one to at least one person every time he goes into a liquor store-

I spent £96 on eBay today to buy a cheese grater once owned by h**... and Saddam Hussein.

It was the grater of two evils.

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." —Henny Youngman

Henry "Henny" Youngman was an English-American comedian and musician famous for his mastery of the "one-liner". 1906 - 1988

I had a chance to buy a couple of haunted houses and turn them into rental properties...

but I said no, because who wants to be the lessor of two evils?

A pastor was giving a sermon on the evils of alcohol.

After endless anecdotes about its evils and dozens of bible passages regarding its sinfulness he concludes quite passionately that if it were up to him he'd dump all the town's booze into the river.
Following this display the organist leads the congregation in a hymn. They sang Shall we gather at the river?

A religious monk is approached by a demoness.

She tells him he must choose between three evils:
1. Kill a goat.
2. Drink alcohol.
3. Have s**... with her.
Knowing they are all against his good judgment, he decides to do whichever causes the least harm, so he drinks the alcohol.
He then proceeds to kill the goat and have s**... with the demoness.

Did you hear about the time h**... and Stalin shared an apartment?

It turns out that their landlord was the lessor to two evils.

Worming

Will was trying to teach his young son the evils of alcohol. He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whisky. The worm in the water lived, while the one in the whisky curled up and died.
'All right, son', asked Will, 'what does that show you?'
'Well, Dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol, you will not have worms.'

An Imam preaching against the alcohol outside a bar....

Outside a Bar, Imam Abdul was preaching: Drinking is Bad,it is the root of all evils.
Man: Have you tried it?
Imam: No, Never.
Man: Ok, you try once, if you don't like it, I'll give up Drinking.
Imam : Ok, but bring it in Tea cup, I don't want people seeing me drinking.
Man goes to the bartender and says: Give me two Shots of r**... in Tea-Cup...
Bartender: Hey!Is that Imam Abdul here Again??

Apparently the same firm rents buildings to both ISIS and Neo-n**....

You could say they're the lessor of two evils.

3 Main Evils

There are 3 main evils in the world: Dictators, Mosquitos and Vegans.
Or D.M.V for short.

A thief read so much about the dangers and evils of stealing

So he decided to give up reading.

Pope Francis warns the public about the evils of Horoscope readings...

Born: December 17, "Your ideas are abstract and don't always make reasonable sense."
What a Sagittarius thing to say...

What was left inside the Pandora's Box after she released all the evils that visit humanity and then closed it?

Half-Life 3.

A man was asked to choose between killing an executioner and the man who rented him the noose and electric chair.

He chose the lessor of two evils.

A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th-grade class

a lesson about the evils of alcohol, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms."Now, class. Observe closely the worms," said the professor putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be.
The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.
"Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" the professor asked.
Little Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded...
"Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!"

Little Johnny's Chemistry teacher wanted to teach his class a lesson about the evils of liquor,

so he set up an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.
"Now, class. Observe what happens to the two the worms," said the professor putting the first worm in the glass of water.
The worm in the water moved about, twisting and seemingly unharmed.
He then dropped the second work in the whiskey glass.
It writhed in pain for a moment, then quickly sank to the bottom and died.
"Now kids, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" he asked.
Little Johnny raised his hand and wisely responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!"

Black Sheep

A m**... is sent into the deepest part of Africa to live with a tribe.
One day, the wife of one of the tribe's noblemen gives birth to a white baby.
The village chief confronts the m**...: "You have taught us of the evils of s**... sin, yet here, a black woman gives birth to a white child. You are the only white man who has ever set foot in our village!"
The m**... replies, "No, no. You are mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence, what is called an albino. Look over at that field. See the flock of white sheep? - and yet amongst them one of them is black. Nature does this on occasion."
"Tell you what," the chief says, "I won't tell on you .. you don't tell on me."

Arthur and the nun

Arthur was sitting outside his local pub one day, enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good about himself, when a nun suddenly appears at his table and starts decrying the evils of drink.
"You should be ashamed of yourself young man! Drinking is a Sin! Alcohol is the blood of the devil!"
Now Arthur gets pretty annoyed about this, and goes on the offensive.
"How do *you* know, Sister?"
"My Mother Superior told me so"
"But have you ever had a drink yourself? How can you be sure that what you are saying is right?"
"Don't be ridiculous - of course I have never taken alcohol myself"
"Then let me buy you a drink - if you still believe afterwards that it is evil I will give up drink for life"
"How could I, a Nun, sit outside this public house drinking?!"
"I'll get the barman to put it in a teacup for you, them no-one will know"
The Nun reluctantly agrees, so Arthur goes inside to the bar.
"Another pint for me, and a triple v**... on the rocks", then he lowers his voice and says to the barman "... and could you put the v**... in a teacup?"
"Oh no! It's not that drunken Nun again is it?"

Evils joke, Arthur and the nun

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these evils jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.