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Every Friday Jokes

40 every friday jokes and hilarious every friday puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about every friday that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Popular Every Friday Short Jokes

Short every friday jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The every friday humour may include short wednesday friday jokes also.

  1. Just as there is a balance of good and evil.... There's a Friday for every Monday.
    Have a great week :)
  2. I treat my body like a temple. By that I mean that a bunch of Jewish guys enter me every Friday night.
  3. Did you hear about the guy who put on a clean pair of socks every day of the week? By Friday he could hardly get his shoes on.
  4. I get laid almost every day of the week. Almost got laid on Monday, almost got laid on Tuesday, almost on Wednesday, almost on Thursday, almost on Friday, almost on Saturday, and almost on Sunday.
  5. The day after Thanksgiving is often the biggest capitalist/materialistic shopping day every year. I'm protesting it this year, and had to think of the movement's slogan... Black Fridays Matter.
  6. Two middle aged women are in Boston's fish market on Friday. "I come here every Friday to get scrod!"
    "I do too, but I didn't know it has a past tense."
  7. I heard there is a big online sale running in the US Every state has his net sold out.. And I thought black Friday is the biggest shopping event.
  8. Every weekend I say to myself "Eric you should really stop drinking so much wine on Fridays" Luckily for me I'm not named Eric
  9. I work out almost every day. Friday I almost worked out, Saturday I almost worked out, Sunday I almost worked out...
  10. If every day is a gift, I'd like a receipt for Monday. I want to exchange it for another Friday.

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Every Friday One Liners

Which every friday one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with every friday? I can suggest the ones about friday evening and finally friday.

  1. Every Friday night I go out dressed in a nun's clothes. What can I say? It's a habit.
  2. [OC] What do Mexican kindergartners do on the last Friday of every month? Car show and Cartel
  3. Why is it great to work in a Jewish bakery? Because every Friday is a challah-day!
  4. Indiana Jones loved to barbecue He loved it so much he did it every friday

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about every friday can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of every friday puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Cheerful Every Friday Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!

What funny jokes about every friday you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean its friday jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make every friday prank.

An idiot moves to a very religious catholic neighborhood.

This particular idiot loved to eat chicken, so he grilled it every day. Now, on Fridays, the people of his neighborhood would get irritated that someone was eating meat when they had to abstain, so they took it up with their pastor. Their pastor then went to the idiot, and told him about the message of christ, and was able to convert him, spraying him with water saying, "you were born sick, you were raised sick, but now you are CHRISTIAN!". The idiots neighbors left him alone thinking that was that, but come Friday, and he's still grilling chicken when he should be abstaining. So they began to spy on him to see how he could justify such an act, and they saw him spritz his chicken with holy water, saying "you were born chicken, you were raised chicken, but now, you are FISH!"
idk if this is a repost, but my dad told me this joke as a kid, and I thought it was funny.

An Irishman goes into a bar and orders three beers.

He takes a sip out of one beer, then the second, then the third, then he starts over and repeats until they're all gone. Next week he comes in and orders another three beers. The bartender says, "If you like I can bring them to you one at a time, then they won't sit there getting warm." The Irishman says, "No, these are in honor of me and my brothers back in Dublin. The three of us used to go drinking together every Friday, and when I left I promised I'd carry on the tradition. This goes on every week for months, until one Friday night the guy shuffles in looking kind of glum. The bartender brings him his usual three beers, but the guy hands one back and says, "Only two from now on, I'm afraid." The bartender gets all concerned and says, "Gosh, did something happen to one of your brothers?" The guy says, "No, they're fine, it's me. My doctor told me I had to quit drinkin'."

Jenga Towers

At Highschool we have a test every week and my teacher lets the person with the highest score bring in their favourite board game. For years, my favourite game has been Jenga, the falling towers game.
So on friday the 8th in the first week of September I finally get the highest score and the teacher tells me I can bring in a board game on monday.
mfw I walk into class on 9/11 with Jenga and I'm a muslim...

After 30 years of marriage...

After 30 years of marriage a husband and wife came for counseling. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married. On and on she went: Neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, and entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured.
Finally, after allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking the wife to stand, he embraced and kissed her long and passionately as her husband watched - with a raised eyebrow.
The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.
The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least 3 times a week. Can you do this?
"Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish."

Consequences of taking off early from work

There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead who all worked in the same office. Every Friday, their boss would leave the office early to go home. One day the brunette says, "You know, we should leave early too when our boss leaves next friday!" The other two eagerly agree and set a plan in motion.
Next Friday, after their boss leaves work early, the three leave work early too. The Brunette goes to a restaurant to have an early dinner. The redhead goes to a bar. And the blonde goes home. Upon walking through the door, the blonde hears noises coming from the bedroom she shares with her husband. She walks to the door and peeks inside to find her boss and her husband having s**.... She closes the door, gets back in her car, and goes back to work, only to return home at her usual time. On Monday, the three friends get together to discuss their Friday adventures. The Brunette and the Redhead agree that they want to do it every Friday that their boss leaves.
The Blonde says, "No way! I almost got caught!"

A little story told by our parish priest.

A man goes to the pub and orders three beers. Everyone expects he's waiting for someone, but he drinks all the beers himself. The next week he does the same, and the next, until he becomes a regular. Eventually the other regulars get curious and ask him what his story is.
"Well," he says "I have two brothers. One has gone to England and the other has gone to Canada, but before they left, we made a promise to have one drink for each of us every Friday so that we can celebrate together no matter where we are."
One day the man comes in and orders only two beers. A fellow patron comes up to him cap in hand, looking distressed, and says "We are all very sorry for your loss."
The man smiles and replies "Oh, no! My brothers are still alive and well. But I gave up drinking for Lent."

A little boy and his dad were in line at the drug store

And the boy picks up a pack of condoms. He asks "what are these daddy?" And his dad says "those are for high school kids." The boy asks "why are there three?" The father says "one for Thursday night, one for Friday night, and one for Saturday night."
The boy picks up another pack and asks "why are there six in this one?" So the father says "those are for college kids. Two for Thursday, two for Friday, and two for Saturday."
The boy picks up a third pack and asks "why are there twelve in this one?" The father says "oh those are for married men. One for every month of the year."

The Great Ovarian Revolution

One day all the eggs in a woman's body decide to fight off incoming s**.... Knowing the woman has s**... every Friday night then set up a blockade and wait till Friday. Once Friday night comes the eggs bravely get ready to stop the invasion. They wait all night but no s**... enter. The eggs stand confused until another egg comes rushing towards them out of breath. The other eggs start asking why he's out of breath. The egg catches his breath and says, "THEY CAME IN THE REAR!"

American, English and Russian governments...

American, English and Russian governments passed laws about mandatory r**... of every citizen on Saturdays.
Americans made a revolution, Brits reelected their parliament and Russians began queing on Fridays evening not to waste the whole weekend.

A Toast

Every Friday night, at the local pub, the regulars gather, enjoy each other's company and 'toast the night away'…
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me Life, between the legs of me wife!"
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of The night."
She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"
John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street Corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at The pub with a toast about you, Mary."
She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's Only been in there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."

On this day every year I start the day with a bowl of Frosted Flakes.

It makes good friday grrrrrrrrrrrreat!!!

I have s**... almost every day

Almost on Sunday
Almost on Monday
Almost on Tuesday
Almost on Wednesday
Almost on Thursday
Almost on Friday
And almost on Saturday

Why Islam is growing rapidly !!!

Father Francis of Bradford was unhappy that the church attendance had steadily declined in the past few years but the mosque across the street was jampacked every Friday.
So he invited the imam for a cup of tea and then finally brought up the topic
Imam :So tell me,what happens if a man visits church every Sunday and follows the word of Jesus
Father: He will go to heaven after he dies
Imam: What will he get there?
Father: He will forever be in the company of Father,Jesus,Holy Spirit,v**... Mary...
Imam: Thats the problem, Only One v**......

After 30 years of marriage, people always ask, "What's the secret of keeping the romance alive?" I always tell them...

We go to the same romantic restaurant every week, twice a week...
I go on Tuesday. She goes on Fridays.

I mean I get to sleep with my wife nearly every day!

I think as marriages go, we're doing absolutely awesome, I mean I get to sleep with my wife nearly every day!
Nearly on Monday
Nearly on Tuesday
Nearly on Wednesday
Nearly on Thursday
Nearly on Friday
Nearly on Saturday
Nearly on Sunday

I think as marriages go, we're doing absolutely awesome, I mean I get to sleep with my wife nearly every day!

Nearly on Monday,
nearly on Tuesday,
nearly on Wednesday,
nearly on Thursday,
nearly on Friday,
nearly on Saturday and
nearly on Sunday

Lollypops

On Fridays our school sells lollypops in the cafeteria. I bought 22 so that I can be sick and not have to come to school tomorrow! Works every time.

It seems like Walmart has killer deals every year for Black Friday.

Personally I don't think they're worth dying for.

Every Friday Mrs. Jones ask the class a question.

The kid that answers correctly gets to leave class early.
Timmy has never been that kid. But this Friday he decided it was his turn. Friday comes around and Timmy is ready. The class sits down and is listening for the question. Timmy pulls some marbles out and rolls them across the floor. The teacher turns around and says to the class.
"Alright kids, who's the comedian with the black b**...?"
Timmy yells, "Chris Rock, See ya Monday Teach!"

You know the fool-proof method to get your girl pregnant right?

Wait until the perfect Friday night and treat her real fine. I'm talking start with chocolate, flowers, the works. Dress in y'alls Sunday best and go to the best Italian place in town. Wine her and dine her then take her home. Take it slow but start getting her real hot. I'm talking wet enough to drown a fish. Once you've done every single step, in that order, absolutely perfectly, you call me over.

After 30 years of marriage, I'm tells my envious friends that I still get s**... almost every day..

Friends: no way!
Me: yup! Almost on a Monday.. almost on a Tuesday.. almost on a Wednesday.. almost on a Thursday, almost on a Friday, almost on a Saturday and almost on a Sunday!

I have a friend from Vietnam I talk to every Friday night

I got to know him really well, he was fascinated with America and had really good English (and a good sense of humor) he told me I don't know what that American Dream is, but I know the European Dream is no America.

jokes about every friday

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these every friday jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.