Everly Brothers Jokes
39 everly brothers jokes and hilarious everly brothers puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about everly brothers that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Everly Brothers Short Jokes
Short everly brothers jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The everly brothers humour may include short beverly hills jokes also.
- My brother just admitted that he broke my favourite lamp, I'm not sure I'll be able look at him in the same light ever again.
- I told my brother, "I went to the GPS repair shop for the first time ever." "How did you find it?" he asked.
I said, "With difficulty." - People are always talking about how popular Steve Jobs was.. But I don't think he'll ever be as popular as his brother, Hand.
- A celebrated magician "Did your father ever show you his celebrated saw-in-half trick?" asked the interviewer.
"No, not me," I replied. "Just my half-brothers." - #3335 I first heard this one from my brother when I was twelve and it's been a favorite ever since!
- If a girl ever tells you "I see you as a big brother" Tell her good, cause i'm a Targaryen.
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Everly Brothers One Liners
Which everly brothers one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with everly brothers? I can suggest the ones about bee gees and three brothers.
- I got a PS5 for my brother. Best trade ever.
- Did Thor ever mention he had a brother? He was very low-key about it.
- A sister got a PS5 for her younger brother on Rakhi.
Best trade ever!
- No one ever talks about Peter Pans brother. Peter Pots
- Just got a guitar for my little brother. BEST. TRADE. EVER.
- Have you ever heard of Tony Hawk's brother, Mike
- Ever hear about Urijah Faber's brother the luchador? His name is Por. Por Faber.
Gather Around for Heartwarming Everly Brothers Jokes and Uplifting Humor
What funny jokes about everly brothers you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean beach boys jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make everly brothers pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My step-sister walked into my room one day and she says, "Hey, big brother... take off my shirt."
So I took off her shirt.
Then she says, "Take off my skirt..."
So I took off her skirt.
Then she says, "Take off my bra and p**......"
So I took off her bra and p**....
Then she says, "If I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, I'm telling mom and dad!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Lucky day for Philadelphia Eagles head coach Chip Kelly.
Philadelphia Eagles head coach Chip Kelly was watching the news when he witnessed something astounding. A young Syrian man had just thrown a hand grenade over 100 yards through the window of a building into a room that housed a s**.... He was so impressed that he had the man found and brought into the states to play for his team.
After a very successful rookie season the young man was discussing his rookie of the year award via telephone with his mother.
She told him that she was proud but living in fear constantly. She continued " your brother was shot twice just in the last few weeks and your sister is regularly the victim of assault. Matters have escalated and life is worse than it has ever been. I will never, ever forgive you for bringing us to Philly."
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Mr Bestetti, we have carried a lot of prostitutes here, but I don't remember ever seeing such an old, ugly and spiteful one
It's 10 pm and a rich businessman, Mr. Bestetti, is working at his home office when his wife enters the room shouting: "I have talked with our priest, he told me everything! You cheat on me by going to the s**...! I am going to go to the lawyer and get a divorce, and you'll give me half of everything, even of our offshore secret bank account!"
To this the husband replies: "No, darling. I actually only go to the club when I have worked for long hours with a foreign businessman. At the end of the day he is tired, doesn't know what to do, so I accompany him and leave him there."
The wife doesn't seem convinced, so she asks to go to the s**... with her husband and check. The husband reluctantly agrees.
At the entrance, the bouncer greets them: "Good evening Mr. Bestetti!" The husband quickly explains to his wife: "This bouncer is actually the brother of one of my employees, I found him this job, that's why he knows me and greets me so kindly."
In the hall, a waitress also greets them and says: "I will give you your favourite table, Mr Bestetti, right in front of the stage." The wife starts shouting, but Mr Bestetti silences her: "I am a very important businessman. The waitress is just showing me respect and giving me a special table."
Inside, another waitress approaches them, brings a cigar to Mr Bestetti and says: "Here's your favourite cigar, Mr Bestetti." The wife is getting quite angry, but he immediately clarifies: "She also works at the tobacconist near my office during the day, that's why she knows which cigars I prefer."
Meanwhile, a group of girls is dancing and on the stage. At the end, the nicest girl remains on her own on the stage and starts removing all of her clothes. At the end she gets her underwear off, holds it up and asks the audience: "To whom shall I gif them?" To which the audience responds in a chorus: "To Mr Bestetti!"
The wife gets mad and starts shouting to her husband. "Cheater! b**...! You were lying to me all along!" she says, before storming out of the building and jumping in a taxi.
Mr Bestetti follows her quickly and manages to enter the same taxi, but she keeps screaming and also repeatedly hitting him with her purse.
After a while, the taxi driver turns back and says: "Mr Bestetti, we have carried a lot of prostitutes here, but I don't remember ever seeing such an old, ugly and spiteful one!
Train
Cassie was taking two of her grandsons on their very first train ride from Dayton, Ohio to Washington, DC. A vendor came down the corridor selling Pop Rocks, something neither had ever seen before. Cassie bought each one a bag. The first one eagerly tore open the bag and popped one into his mouth just as the train went into a tunnel. When the train emerged from the tunnel, he looked across to his brother and said: "I wouldn't eat that if I were you. " "Why not? " replied the curious brother "I took one bite and went blind for half a minute. "
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My brother asked me if I'd ever have s**... with a woman in high heels.
"Probably not," I said, "because my balance isn't very good."
A man is sitting in the bus with his hat next to him on the seat
a woman: Sir, can I sit here
Man: I am sorry, but this hat is like my brother. Where ever I go, he gets his own seat
Woman: Oh, ok
After a couple of stations the man realizes that the same woman is sitting next to him
Man: But, where is my hat
Woman: Oh, your brother got off the bus a while ago
Two brothers open their gifts on Christmas Day...
Two brothers, Jack and Charlie, open their gifts on Christmas Day, only to find that Jack has been spoiled with everything he ever wanted. Seeing his brother so jealous, Jack is basking in his smugness.
_Jack:_ I got so many gifts, I don't even know where to keep them!
_Charlie:_ Was cancer on your letter to Santa?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My brother is the worst seller ever. He was trying to sell me a Vacuum Cleaner
but the only thing that he kept saying was "it s**...".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar..
.. so he approaches her. They have a few drinks, flirt and laugh a little bit and after a while, the woman invites him to come to her apartment which the man accepts right away.
They go to her apartment and start having wild s**... for hours. It was the best s**... the man ever had. After they finish, the man lights up a cigarette after which he notices there is a picture of a man on the wall.
"Is that a picture of your husband?", he asked.
"No", she replied as she light up her own cigarette.
"Then your brother perhaps?", the man asked curiously.
"No",she said. "Its a picture of me from 3 years ago."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Baby Names
A little girl asked her Mom why she was named Savannah. Well your father and I were on a trip to Savannah, Georgia when you were conceived so we named you Savannah replied her mom. What about me? Her sister Sydney asked. Well your father and I were on a trip to Sydney, Australia when you were conceived so we named you Sydney replied the mom. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard their brother shouted out. Hey, you watch your mouth Wendy's Bathroom the mother shouted back.
Mort Goldman walks into a bar
The bartender says "mort, why are you still here? The rest of your people left days ago for Jerusalem!" "I'm not falling for that trick!" Mort replied "a place so great is sure to be a myth, it's surely just a trick to lure us all away." Mort finished his beer and left. On his walk home mort noticed all of the shops in his neighborhood closed and not a similar face in sight. Becoming concerned he decided to call his brother to see what was going on. Upon calling, his brother assured Mort that Jerusalem did indeed exist and it was better than he had ever imagined. Mort boarded the next flight still skeptical, but determined to see for himself the glory that awaited. When Mort arrived at the airport he was awestruck. He stood silent for minutes before muttering under his breath "I can't believe it, it Israel"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So, a little boy comes home to hear his sister bawling her eyes out.
...and he goes up stairs, sets his back pack down and goes into his sisters room. "What's the matter sis? What's wrong?" To which the sister replied "Dad just broke the news to me that I am adopted. Paperwork and all." So the boy says "Well, I still love you as my sister. Nothing will ever change that." The sister found that comforting, and gave her brother a kiss. Well, one kiss turned into a few and they end up having s**..., with the revaluation that they are not related and after the funs over, the boy pulls out and sees the c**... is just destroyed. So they talk about what to do, and decide on going to their father. They put their clothes on, walk down the stairs hand in hand and before they could break the news to their dad he jumped out from around the corner and yelled APRIL FOOLS!
A man who always smokes two cigarettes..
There was this rumor that a man always lit two cigarettes when ever he was smoking. So one day a guy sees this man just when he is about to light up. He asks him, "excuse me sir I couldn't help to notice that you are smoking two cigarettes simultaneously" the man answers him "yes one is for me and the other one is for my brother who is in prison" the guy replies "sorry to hear that, hope he will be out soon"
Sometime passes and the same guy sees this man again, but only this time he is only smoking one cigarette. So he goes up to the man and says "Only one? So I guess your brother is out of jail now huh? " and the man replied "no it's just that I quit smoking a week ago"
Christmas
His teacher asked young Patrick Murphy: "What do you do at Christmastime?
Patrick addressed the class: "Well Ms. Jones, me and my twelve brothers and sisters go to midnight mass and we sing hymns; then we come home very late and we put mince pies by the back door and hang up our stockings. Then all excited, we go to bed and wait for Father Christmas to come with all our toys.
"Very nice Patrick," she said. "Now Jimmy Brown, what do you do at Christmas?" Well, Ms. Jones, me and my sister also go to church with Mom and Dad and we sing carols and we get home ever so late. We put cookies and milk by the chimney and we hang up our stockings. We hardly sleep, waiting for Santa Claus to bring our presents.
Realizing there was a Jewish boy in the class and not wanting to leave him out of the discussion, she asked, "Now, Isaac Cohen, what do you do at Christmas?"
Isaac said, "Well, it's the same thing every year...Dad comes home from the office. We all pile into the Rolls Royce; then we drive to Dad's toy factory. When we get inside, we look at all the empty shelves...and begin to sing: What A Friend We Have in Jesus. Then we all go to the Bahamas .
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Mom's birthday gifts
3 guys, who were brothers, were all discussing what gifts they were getting for their elderly mother for her birthday.
The first brother, named Michael, said, "I bought mom her very own Lexus and chauffeur. She was always complaining about not being able to drive well."
Jeremy, the second brother, said,"Well I bought mom a p**... apartment. She always complains about the house she lives in."
Lucas, the third brother, said, "Since mom always complains about not being able to read her bible well due to her poor vision, I bought a parrot that can recite bible verses perfectly!"
3 weeks later, the boys receive a letter from their mother. It read:
"To my 3 dear boys:
Thank you for all your nice gifts. However, I couldn't use the car that Michael gave me because I'm too old to go out anymore and the chauffeur is mean. The new p**... is nice, but it is too big for me to clean each day and I'm only ever in the bedroom. But Lucas, you did a fine job in choosing a gift. The chicken was delicious."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Poker
Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in O'Leary's apartment when p**... Murphy loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen brother, the other five continue playing standing up.
Michael O'Connor looks around and asks, "Oh, me boys, someone got's to tell p**...'s wife... who will it be?"
They draw straws. Paul Gallagher picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse.
"Discreet? I'm the most discreet Irishmen you'll ever meet. Discretion is me middle name. Leave it to me."
Gallagher goes over to Murphy's house and knocks on the door. Mrs. Murphy answers and asks what he wants. Gallagher declares, "Your husband just lost $500 and is afraid to come home."
"Tell him to drop dead!", says Murphy's wife.
"I'll go tell him," says Gallagher.
Best knock knock joke ever.
Three brothers age 92,94 and 96 live in a
house together.
One night the 96 year old draws a bath,puts his
foot in and pauses.He yells down the stairs,
"Was I getting in or out of the bath?"
The 94 year old yells back,"I don't know,I'll come
up and see."He starts up the stairs and pauses,
then he yells,"Was l going up the stairs or
coming down?"
The 92 year old was sitting at the kitchen table
having coffee listening to his brothers.He shakes
his head and says,"I sure hope I never get that
forgetful."He knocks on wood for good luck.He
then yells,"I'lI come up and help both of you as
soon as l see who's at the door."
Best knock knock joke ever..
Three brothers age 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together.
One night the 96 year old draws a bath, puts his foot in and pauses. He yells down the stairs, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"
The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know, I'll come up and see." He starts up the stairs and pauses, then he yells, "Was I going up the stairs or coming down?"
The 92 year old was sitting at the kitchen table having coffee listening to his brothers. He shakes his head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful." He knocks on wood for good luck. He then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
You think "taking out the trash" means taking your in-laws to a movie.
You take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took.
You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
You ever cut your grass and found a car.
The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.
Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
You think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner.
You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl'.
You own a homemade fur coat.
The people on j**... Springer's show remind you of your neighbors.
You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
You can get dog hair from out of your belly button.
The beer can collection in the town museum is the big tourist attraction.
People hear your car a long time before they see it.