Evaluate Jokes
38 evaluate jokes and hilarious evaluate puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about evaluate that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Evaluate Short Jokes
Short evaluate jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The evaluate humour may include short jokes also.
- Did you know the Hover Dam was supposed to be twice as tall as it is now? After some re-evaluation, they thought it would be 2 dam high.
I'll see myself out... - I had to have a drug/alcohol evaluation today... The therapist said my alcohol was pretty good but my drugs were terrible.
- We need to re-evaluate our use of the word 'Legendary.' We used to Say it of the person that pulled the sword from the stone. Now we say it about whoever can find the doritos.
- I'm on my way to get a Psychological evaluation for a new job Why does everyone keep wishing me luck?
- Is there some organization that evaluates the quality of shea butter? Because if so, it could have Fifty Grades of Shea.
- A man wrapped in nothing but Saran Wrap is taken to a psychologist for an evaluation He walks into the office and the first thing the psychologist says is, Well, I can clearly see your nuts.
- My life is the integral of sin(x) evaluated in the region of 0≤x≤2π It has it ups and down, but in the end, it amounts to 0.
- I've been doing some self evaluation and I think I might be narcissist.... What can I do to be the least narcissist person that has ever lived?
- What did the geologist say to the Ginger after he evaluated her precious metal? Red, it gold.
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Evaluate One Liners
Which evaluate one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with evaluate? I can suggest the ones about and .
- How long did the underwear inspection take? A few minutes, it was only a brief evaluation
- My psychiatrist wrote on my evaluation form that I have ocd. I had to correct it to OCD.
- What is the psychological evaluation of climate change believers? Bye Polar.
- How do you evaluate a plantain? You bananalyze it!
- Had my quarterly evaluation meeting with manager... .. got screwtinized.
- How do you evaluate a u**...? Peer reviews
- Seen on performance evaluation He's so dense, light bends around him.
Evaluate Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about evaluate you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make evaluate pranks.
A generic science major and an english literature major walk into a bar and are asked by a mutual friend how to best evaluate a book.
I just wrote a joke: A generic science major and an english literature major walk into a bar and are asked by a mutual friend how to best evaluate a book.
The generic science major takes a few moments to think, then says, "Well, I would read up on the history of the book, process the literature within a few months (well enough to formulate some questions to ask participants that are likely to assess the book's content, influence, and perceived influence), then test a few of the relevant questions that the lit. search analysis generates. In some kind of controlled setting, obviously. You?"
The english literature major takes a shot, then says, "Uhhh... first I'd read it."
Mental institution
There's a mental institution, and they are having a
patient evaluation, to see if any patients need to be there
any longer. The doctor then goes around questioning the top three candidates.
He goes to the first patient and asks him , "What is 3 times 3?"
After an hour of scratching his head, and with a confused look on his face he replies, "Two-hundred!".
"That is incorrect." The doctor responds.
He then asks the next patient."What is 3 multiplied by 3?" After a long period of time the patient
responds, "Thursday!". "That is incorrect replies the doctor.
He then goes to the next patient and asks him, "What is 3 times 3?"
The patient quickly responds, "Nine!". The doctor then says "Correct!,
how did you figure that out?" The patient then responds, "I multiplied, 200 by Thursday and then
I added three!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An alcoholic, a s**... and a gay guy go to a psychiatrist
An alcoholic, a s**... and a gay guy go to a psychiatrist.
The psychiatrist evaluates their addictions and warns them, "If you indulge in your bad habit ONE MORE TIME, you will drop dead."
So the three men acknowledge his warning and leave the clinic.
As they walked down the sidewalk, discussing their fate, the Alcoholic proclaims, "I don't care what happens to me! I need a drink!" He runs into a bar, takes a shot of whiskey, and drops dead.
The s**... and gay guy--shocked that the psychiatrist was telling the truth--continue walking.
A few minutes later they see a full cigarette burning on the sidewalk. The s**... starts to sweat. And looks over at the gay guy. "I just need ONE MORE drag!"
The gay guy says, "Honey, if you bend down to pick that up, we're BOTH gonna drop dead!"
A man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing only shorts made of plastic cling wrap..
A man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing only shorts made of plastic cling wrap. The man says to the shrink, "Sir, I need you to evaluate me." The psychiatrist looks up from his clipboard, sighs, and says, "Well, I can clearly see your nuts."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three idiots
Three idiots are in a mental institution. They're being evaluated by a doctor to see if they can go home.
He asks the first one: "What is 20 times 4". "70000" says the first one.
So he asks the second idiot: "What is 20 times 4". "Tuesday!" says the second idiot.
He asks the third idiot: "What is 20 times 4". "Easy, 80!", he says. "Correct", the doctor says. "You can go home. If you don't mind me asking, how did you know the answer?" "Well it was easy" says the idiot. "I just devided 70000 by Tuesday!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Boss calls in his top 4 employees.
Boss:
Been doing some evaluations. And I am very upset at the results. James, you appear to be buying c**... from some K-Fish. Peterson, you appear to be taking m**... from this same K-Fish. I'm mostly disappointed at you, Jessie, for purchasing pills from this K-Fish person as well.
This is why I'm promoting Kevin Fishouse, for being a great role model for the company.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The chemistry teacher approaches Johnny.
During an o**... evaluation, the chemistry teacher approaches Johnny and asks him: what's the chemical formula of sulfuric acid? johnny, taking some time to answer says: oh god mister, I have it on the tip of my tongue! the teacher, worried, immediately shouts: johnny spit it out!!!! sulfuric acid is very corrosive!!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Looked in the mirror and realized how ugly I am
First thing I did was call every person ive ever slept with to get tested. Not for STDs but they clearly need a psychiatric evaluation.
Did you hear the judge's recent linguistic faux pas, when they were addressing a recently convicted defendant?
I Order you to serve 2 years incarcerated, 2 years active probation, 1 year of passive probation, 400 hours of community service, evidence of completion of an education service approved by the court, submit to a mental health evaluation..., etc., etc..
Yeah, it was a run-on sentence.
With all the talk about and acts of tearing down statues there should be a rule where a statue of a person stands for so many years before being re-evaluated...
We can call it the Statue of Limitations.
A young man was drafted and sent to medical evaluation
The doctor asked him to read the first five letters on the poster. He quickly replied What poster? after which he was relieved of duty.
Unfortunately, as he went to the cinema that night, he was seated right next to the very same doctor. Without hesitation, he tapped the doctor on the shoulder and said:
Excuse me miss, is this bus destined for Dallas?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man goes to a psychiatrist for an evaluation
So the psychiatrist draws a horizontal line and asks him what that reminds him of. "A n**... woman" he replies. So he draws a vertical line. "And this?" he asks "A n**... woman." Doctor then draws an X and asks the same question. "Two people having s**...." comes the answer. "Hmmmmm" goes the doctor. "It seems you have obsession with s**...." he speculates.
"Me?" answers the shocked man. "Who drew all this filth?"
Reality vs LinkedIn
Reality:
I got my driving license
Linkedin:
I am honored and thrilled to announce that I have been selected among the top 5 applicants who participated in professional and the most-respected exam which evaluates the skills and ability to operate fuel-based vehicles. I cannot wait to see what the next chapter holds, and I cannot express my appreciation to the ministry of transportation, Wendy's, Google, NASA, my neighbors who supported me during this difficult journey.
The boss calls in his best worker for a performance evaluation.
Everything goes well but at the end of the meeting, the worker says "I think you should give me a raise. I'll have you know there are three other companies who are after me."
The boss raises his brow and asks, "Who?"
The worker replies, "Electric, Gas, and Phone.."
Larry is having his performance evaluation and his boss is showing his disappointment.
He said, Larry, you used to be a great worker, but for the past few months I never seem to see you working when I come by your office. What happened?
Larry looks at the boss and said, Well, in August they carpeted the hallway…