Europeans Jokes
42 europeans jokes and hilarious europeans puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about europeans that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Europeans Short Jokes
Short europeans jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The europeans humour may include short majority jokes also.
- If America is storming Area 51 then the Europeans can storm the Vatican We'll take the alien, you get the predators
- None of my european electronics worked properly in the US, until I prayed to God. Turns out they just needed a higher power.
- My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 15 hours to Hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak.
- What do you call a person who's an expert in American culture and politics? A European Redditor.
- If you are Russian when you go to the bathroom and you are Finnish when you leave the bathroom, what are you when you are in the bathroom? European
- 10% of European babies are conceived on an IKEA bed. So, be sure to follow the instructions.
Put Peg A into Slot B, and then screw until the nuts tighten. - Fun Fact: The Mortal Kombat theme was actually inspired by an old European song of praise. It was a Finnish hymn.
- There's zero difference between US and European Healthcare.... ...well, lots of zeroes...usually added to the end of the bill.
- I have an Eastern European friend who fixes my language mistakes... My personal spell Czech.
- A local museum today received a substantial donation of French Impressionist and Eastern European artwork. They're gettin' Monet for nothing and Czechs for free.
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Europeans One Liners
Which europeans one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with europeans? I can suggest the ones about continent and immigrants.
- What happens when you go to the bathroom in France? European.
- Why are European cars the lightest? because there's no Americans sitting in them.
- I married a European chess master. He's my Czech mate.
- What's the fastest way to lose a few pounds? Exit the European Union.
- No matter if you are American or European 9/11 is a sad date
- Made an Eastern European friend on a chess forum. He was my Czech mate.
- I'm developing a gun that shoots east european stew. I call it the Goulashnikov.
- TIL Santa Claus is European.. North Polish to be exact
- I'm a European frog; mostly French, a bit German, and... ...a tad Pole.
- What are you if you aren't European? Eurapoopin.
-my daughter - What joke is the same in all european languages? USA
- Do you know why the European stock markets are sliding down? Greece.
- If European in the bathroom, who's the guy on the floor? Himalayan
- What did the eastern Russian say to the western Russian in the bathroom? "European."
- What did the American say to the German urinating in public? European illegally!
Witty Europeans Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about europeans you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean central jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make europeans pranks.
23andme is a fake, rip-off scam website.
The results of my ancestry came back 85% German and 10% Bavarian/Eastern European, but I know *FOR A FACT* that my grandparents came to the USA from **Argentina!**
An international school teacher asks a question: "What's your own opinion on food scarcity in other countries?"
**An African student:** What's food?
**A European student:** What's scarcity?
**An American student:** What are 'other countries'?
**A Chinese student:** What's 'my own opinion'?
100 is a nice round number
The European is visiting the United States for the first time: So how many cents in a dollar?
The American: 100, of course
The European: 100? Why not 62, or 37?
The American: 62? What are you talking about? It's 100. Of course, it is. It's a nice round number and easy to calculate. 62? You crazy Europeans.
The European: Right, gotcha. Thank you! So how many feet in a mile?
The American: Go back to Europe!
The U.N. initiates a poll...
The United Nations initiated a poll with the request, "Please tell us your honest opinion about the lack of food in the rest of the world."
The poll was a total failure.
The Russians did not understand "Please". The Italians did not know the word "honest". The Chinese did not know what an "opinion" was. The Europeans did not know "lack", while the Africans did not know "food". Finally, the Americans didn't know anything about the "rest of the world".
A Frenchman, a Dutchman and a German walk into a bar...
Normally there also would've been a Belgian, an Englishman and an Italian, but they couldn't come since they're still at the European Championship.
I met this european guy last night who claimed he was a well endowed white supremacist
Well, he said he was a hung a**...
The other day my European friend ask me about our views on l**... in this country.
Apparently, "usually in HD" was not the answer she was looking for
P.S sorry english not my native language
Steven Spielberg is casting for his upcoming blockbuster on the history of classical music.
He asks his stars who they want to play. Brad Pitt says, "I want to be Mozart. His pastiche of influences from several European countries has always fascinated me." Tom Cruise chimes in with, "I'd like to be Beethoven. I love the way he handled the transition from Classicism to Romanticism." Arnold Schwarzenegger says, "I'll be Bach."
So the Bears were looking for a new quarterback.
The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.
Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan . In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan Muslim soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away.
KABOOM!
He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.
KA-BLOOEY!
Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.
BULLS-EYE!
"I've got to get this guy!" Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"
So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl.
The young Afghan is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.
"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"
"I don't want to talk to you", the old Muslim woman says."You are not my son!"
"I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans."
"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get r**...!" The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says, "I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago !!!!
What nationality are you when you walk into the bathroom?
Russian.
What nationality are you while you're in the bathroom?
European.
What nationality are you when you walk out of the bathroom?
Finish.
A European m**... goes to an African tribe...
... and asks the tribeleader if he may stay with them. The leader agrees on one condition: No white child can be born.
However, 9 months later, a woman is discovered with a white child.
The leader summons the missonary to explain himself. The m**... looks out the window and shows the leader a herd of sheep and says:
" As you can see, all the sheep are white, yet one of them is black... "
In complete distress, the tribeleader exclaims: " Allright, I won't say anything about your child, as long as you don't say anything about the sheep!"
I made a pencil with two erasers.
It was pointless...
PS: I actually didn't, but it's my favourite bad joke, and it's my cake day, so I can do whatever I want!
Edit #1: If you didn't see my comment somehow, I feel scammed, because at the time of posting this, I yet had like 2 hours of my cake day left. I guess Reddit doesn't use European time...
Edit #2: I feel honoured to receive my first award ever!
