europeans Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious europeans puns

If America is storming Area 51 then the Europeans can storm the Vatican

We'll take the aliens, you get the predators


The U.N. initiates a poll...

The United Nations initiated a poll with the request, "Please tell us your honest opinion about the lack of food in the rest of the world."

The poll was a total failure.

The Russians did not understand "Please". The Italians did not know the word "honest". The Chinese did not know what an "opinion" was. The Europeans did not know "lack", while the Africans did not know "food". Finally, the Americans didn't know anything about the "rest of the world".


Four Europeans and a Juggler

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling.

The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, "Can you all see me now?"



Europeans: What's a good American joke in your country?

On the heels of the funny Italian joke ("Emma comes first …") what jokes do other countries tell about Americans?


Why don't Europeans have foot fetishes?

they use the metric system


Where do Europeans go for slurpies?



Europeans use too many gyros for the slaughter of animals. Let's alert PITA.

That was a terrible pun. I falafel.


In the 1700s, Muslims invented the first condoms. They used goat intestines.

Then in the next century, Europeans took the invention to the next level. They took the intestines out of the goat.


Three Europeans wash ashore on an island occupied by cannibals...

They are caught quickly, and the cannibal chief tells them that they are to be eaten and their skins used to make canoes. They are horrified at the thought of being cooked or eaten alive, but at least a little of their fear is relieved when the chief tells them that they will be permitted to kill themselves in a manner of their own choosing.

The first, an Englishman, elects to shoot himself and asks for a pistol. He is presented with one, and says farewell to his friends before ending it.

The second, a Frenchman, asks for poison. He turns to the other, says "au revoir," and drinks the poison, dying shortly.

The third, a Pole, asks for a fork. The chief is confused, but hands him one anyway. The Pole proceeds to stab himself an excessive number of times all over his body, drawing copious amounts of blood and astonishing and even disturbing the onlooking cannibals somewhat. The chief grabs hold of him and asks him why he would make himself suffer so. The Pole says, "I can't stop you from eating me, but it looks like you're going to be short one canoe."


Why do Europeans never win the most gold in water sports?

All their best divers are playing football.


Heaven vs Hell : The Europeans Version

In heaven the police are British, the cooks are French, the engineers are German, the administrators are Swiss and the lovers are Italian

In Hell the police are German, the cooks are British, the engineers are Italian, the administrators are French and the lovers are Swiss


What does Vladimir Putin call a waterslide made from the tears of Western Europeans?

Crimea River.


The Origin of Condoms

Two friends are at a bar discussing where Condoms were invented and first used, friend 1 is saying that Europeans were the first to invent condoms while friend 2 says it was the middle easterners.
A stranger comes along, overhearing their discussion, and decides to settle the debate.
"Middle easterners were the first by using goat intestines"
Friend 2 laughs with his victory but the stranger isn't done yet
"Europeans refined the technique by removing the intestine from the goat first"


Why do Europeans hate American food?

Europeans don't want to die yet.

Unlike Americans who don't wanna diet.


What did the busdriver say to the police officer, when asked if there were any europeans on the bus?

- I have two czech


Many Americans would be surprised to know that we Europeans also have shooting ranges

They're called schools and children are sent there to learn


I was amazed to find out that Europeans use whiteboards the same way as Americans...

They just pick up the marker, Denmark on it.


Who are the longest Europeans?



If ISIS was serious about killing Europeans

It would sell cheap building supplies


How do Europeans smile?

They don't. They skilometre.


How did the Europeans find the West?

By Occident.


If the Chinese didn't want Europeans to use their invention of gunpowder for guns...

...why did they name it 'gunpowder' in the first place?


What do you call a bunch of angry europeans on a piece of land?


Merry Christmas and HNY


What do Europeans call fat European guy ?

a wannabe American


So I heard the remaining Democrat congressman are organizing a soccer league.

They will still feel like they are trying to be like the Europeans. Plus no hands means the interns will feel safe.


How do you test if two Central Europeans can hear you?

Czech 1, Chez 2


Europeans did promise land and peace for the natives. They didn't get what they wanted but what can you expect?

They were just white lies after all.


Europeans revere the art of cheesemaking.

But Swiss cheese is holy.


Europeans don't use shampoo

They use shampee


Apparently 1 out of every 10 Europeans were conceived on an IKEA bed...

Which is crazy when you consider how well lit those places are.


Why do pregnant europeans drink lots of water?

So their child will germinate.


Europeans owe it to themself to get a Greek salad


1 out of 10 europeans are conceived in an IKEA bed...

The other 9 couldn't figure out the directions


Name a famous recipe which Europeans, americans and Turks generally dislike

Recipe Erdogan :D


Bad joke

Many Europeans think they are cool

Of course, it depends on their room temperature.


What are the most funny Europeans jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Europeans? Well, here are the best Europeans dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Europeans pick up lines to share with friends.

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