Europe Jokes

Following is our collection of country puns and turmoil one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Europe jokes for adults, dirty england jokes and clean bulgaria dad gags for kids.

The Best Europe Puns

What is a Karen called in Europe?

An American.

I'm American, and I'm sick of people saying America is the stupidest country in the world.

Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world.

I was confused why there are so many stories about vampires in Europe, but not in Africa.

Then I remembered that vampires are killed by holy water.

They bless the rains down in Africa.

What happens when you go to the bathroom in France?

European.

Since Vampires are supposedly hurt by holy water, I always wondered why priests don't just say a prayer over every storm cloud, kill the vampires from above. Then I realized why so many Vampires are from Europe...

Someone already blessed the rains down in Africa


A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN.

The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.

Im sick and tired of people calling America the stupidest country in the world

Personally I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world

As an American, I see a lot of jokes here saying that America is the dumbest country.

It's ridiculous and unfair.
Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country.

Since vampires are hurt by holy water, I always wondered why Priests don't bless storm clouds and kill them from above. Then I realized why most vampires live in Europe

Someone already blessed the rains down in Africa

What do they call Miley Cyrus in Europe?

... Kilometre Cyrus

None of my European electronics worked properly in the US, until I prayed to God.

Turns out they just needed a higher power.


I'm American and I hate it when people say that America is the stupidest country in the world.

Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world.

Time zones are very confusing. Like it's may 2 in australia, may 1 in europe

and 1954 in america

Why are European cars the lightest?

because there's no Americans sitting in them.

In America you call people who marry their cousins hillbillys

In Europe we call them Royals

A man tried smuggling sausage and vodka out of Europe and his suitcase caught fire and they had to evacuate the plane.

The whole event was pretty terrible.

It was the Absolut-wurst-case scenario.

I was wondering why there are so many stories about vampires in Europe but not in África. Then i realised vampires are killed by holy water.

They bless the rains down in Africa .






Credits to u/Josh1804

Europe be like...

eu: uk bro?

uk: it's not eu, it's me.

What's the difference between America and Europe?

In America, we call our inbred hillbillies.

In Europe, they call them royals.


Europe must have a detergent based economy..

..because it's tough on Greece.

If vampires are hurt by holy water, why don't priests just bless a storm cloud to kill vampires everywhere? But then I remembered why so many vampires are from Europe...

Someone already blessed the rains down in Africa.

What does Grand Theft Auto and Europe in the 1930s have in common?

If you have a star, you're being chased

I was wondering why there were so many stories about vampires in Europe, but not in Africa, and than I realized Vampires are killed by Holy water...

They blessed the rains down in Africa.

Europe is like a fridge

You have the freezing cold part at the top


Then in the middle, you have cheese, cold meat, and a good drinks selection


Then down the bottom corner, there's just turkey and grease

This year was the first year I couldnt travel to Europe because of Covid-19.

Before this I couldnt because I didnt have money.

Why is Europe like a frying pan??

They both have Greece at the bottom!!

I played chess with my friend from Central Europe.

Czech mate.

What do you call a fat person in Europe?

An American tourist

Women are alot like continents.

At various times in her life, a woman is like the continents of the world. From 13 to 18, she's like Africa- virgin territory. From 18 to 30, she's like Asia- hot and exotic. From 30 to 45, she's like America- fully explored and free with her resources. From 45 to 55, she's like Europe- exhausted, but not without places of interest. From 55 onwards, she's like Australia- everybody knows it's down there, but nobody cares.

Just found out that Norway has the highest cost of living in Europe...

There's Norway I could A-Fjord to live there.

I hope England beats Iceland...

Or they will be out of Europe twice this week!

An international conference was being held..

In which USA, North Korea, Europe and Africa were taking part.

The judge said,"I would like to hear your opinions about shortage of food in the rest of the world, if you have any questions, please feel free to ask us".

African president asked, "What is food?".

Europe asked, "What is Short?".

USA asked, "What is the rest of the world?".

North Korea asked, "What is Opinion?".

A European missionary goes to an African tribe...

... and asks the tribeleader if he may stay with them. The leader agrees on one condition: No white child can be born.

However, 9 months later, a woman is discovered with a white child.
The leader summons the missonary to explain himself. The missionary looks out the window and shows the leader a herd of sheep and says:
" As you can see, all the sheep are white, yet one of them is black... "

In complete distress, the tribeleader exclaims: " Allright, I won't say anything about your child, as long as you don't say anything about the sheep!"

The United Nations world-wide survey

The United Nations sent out a survey to all the nations in the different continents of the world.

The survey went like this:

"We want your honest opinion on how to find a solution to the food shortage in the rest of the world"

The survey of course, turned out to be a total and abject failure:

The People in western Europe didn't know what the word 'shortage' meant. The people in eastern Europe had no idea what the expression 'honest' was supposed to mean. In china no one knew what 'opinion' was. In Africa they didn't know what 'food' was. In the middle east no one could figure out what 'solution' was; and in america they had no idea what 'the rest of the world' meant.

UN Food Survey Fails...

UN Phone Survey

Last month, a world-wide telephone survey was conducted by the UN.

The only question asked was:

"Would you please give your honest opinion about possible solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a complete failure because:

In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.

In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.

In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.

In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.

In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.

In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.

In the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.

And in Australia , New Zealand and Britain everyone hung up as soon as they heard the Indian accent.

The UN decided to do a worldwide survey...

The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge flop. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe, they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe, they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China, they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East, they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America, they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA, they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.

Three men are on a boat back to North America...

A Mexican, an American, and a Canadian are all heading back to their home countries after going on a vacation in Europe. Suddenly the boat starts to sink. The Canadian says, "The boat is too heavy, we need to get rid of some stuff." The Mexican says, "We already have too many of these in Mexico!" and he throws the tacos out of the boat. The Canadian says, "We already have too many of these in Canada!" and he throws all the maple syrup off the boat. The American says, "We already have too many of these in America!" and he throws the Mexican off the boat.

*apoligies for racism, I am not a racist person*

Why are there so many vampires in Europe and not in Africa?

Vampires are killed with holy water and they bless the rains down in Africa.

How did the Mongols get to Europe?

Steppe by steppe.

How much free space does Europe have ?

1 GB.

How they call Miley Cyrus in europe?

Kilometer Cyrus

As a German I have concerns about the European soccer championship...

Last time it didn't end well when we sent a couple boys to France to defeat all of Europe.

I hate how everyone keeps saying America is the stupidest country in the world...

You know what I think? Europe is the stupidest country in the world.

Making Sense of What's Happening in Europe

A policeman enters an interrogation room, in Athens, Greece.

He tells the perp: "You are accused of robbing the Bank of Greece, tell us where the money is!"

The perp reaches into his pocket and takes out a five-euro note.

"Here you go."

What did Germany say to France after conquering Poland?

Europe next.

What are you if you aren't European?

Eurapoopin.

-my daughter

A Texas man is on vacation in Europe..

As he walks along with a tour guide, they come across some graffiti where someone has spray painted 'Yankee go home!"

The tour guide flustered and a bit embarrassed, said 'sorry you had to see that'

The Texan said 'don't worry, where I'm from we don't like them either'

I asked my French friend if he watched superbowl...

...he said bowling is not so big in Europe.

I was walking through a graveyard in Europe...

When I heard some strange music coming from one of the graves. Turns out, it was coming from Beethoven's grave. I took out my phone and recorded it, then took it to a friend of mine to identify.

"This is really strange...", he said. "This sounds like one of Beethoven's Symphonies, but it's backwards."

"Well, that makes sense", I said. "He's decomposing."

A joke for Europe

A Greek, an Italian, and a Spaniard go into a bar and have an awesome time, ordering drinks till dawn. So who pays the tab?

A German.

A new disease in France turns people into bread.

French authorities are unable to contain the spread, and the disease begins to make its way through Europe and to the rest of the world.

It's a paindemic.

Thanksgiving in Bulgaria

Obviously Thanksgiving is an American holiday. However, as a former soldier deployed to Southern Europe, I was given a week long pass during the week of Thanksgiving. I decided to go to Bulgaria. You know what the best thing about Thanksgiving in Bulgaria is?

Bulgaria is next to Turkey and Greece.

Do you know why the European stock markets are sliding down?

Greece.

So I hear that the Euro is destabilizing and deflating...

...if its value decreases any more, Europe might have to switch back to their old international currency, Czechoslovakia.

If Europe uses Euros as currency...

then Africa should use Afros as currency.

A couple was traveling across Europe but had to stop abruptly at Finland's borders. Why?

Because it was the Finnish line.

I recently went on holiday to Europe after studying languages when I was younger...

It's turns out my German has gone from Bath to Sausage

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America

The rest cheat in Europe

I recently became friends with someone from Central Europe

We met at a Chess tournament and I've never once beaten him in a game.

He's my Czech mate

"Mommy, mommy, I don't want to go to Europe!"

"Shut up and keep swimming."

I once knew a bunch of these. How many do you know?

Another one: "Mommy, mommy, I hate my sister's guts!" "Shut up and keep eating."

If European in the bathroom, who's the guy on the floor?

Himalayan

How can you tell if a church in Europe has no money?

It's Baroque

European heaven/ European hell

European heaven is a place where the chefs are spanish, the police is british, the mechanics are germans, the lovers are italians and everything is organized by the swiss.

European hell is a place where the chefs are british, the police is german, the mechanics are spanish, the lovers are swiss and everything is organized by the italians.

European monarchs are a lot like beef Wellington.

They're in bread.

Europeans: What's a good American joke in your country?

On the heels of the funny Italian joke ("Emma comes first …") what jokes do other countries tell about Americans?

Europe is in turmoil, but at least I've got some steady income despite the migrant crisis

I own a florist around the corner from the French embassy

Say what you will about terrorism in Europe

At least our planes take off and land at an airport.

What's Justin Timberlakes favorite part of Eastern Europe?

The Crimea River.

Which part of Europe took in the most refugees?

The Mediterranean sea

A couple who's been married for 25 years are discussing their anniversary plans

Wife: what do you plan to give me on our silver wedding anniversary?

Husband: Surprise! I'm taking you to Europe!

Wife: Wow! How are you going to top that on our golden anniversary?

Husband: Well, I suppose I'll pick you up!

Which former European state exported mainly napkins?

The Serviette Union

My dad, contemplating Brexit and the board game Risk,

"Well, Europe has always been hard to hold."

Why don't Europeans have foot fetishes?

they use the metric system

So Europe have the euro....

Why don't Africa have the afro.

An American guy is talking with European in some bar in USA.

The American guy is saying: "I heard you have now some problems with immigrants in Europe."

An Indian bends from the next table and says: "Be aware of that, we heavily underestimated that once"

I have a friend named miles

But he moved to Europe so now he goes by Kilometers.

What do you call a skeleton who conquers Europe?

Napoleon Bonyparts.

There is an abundance of cyrus jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 77 funniest jokes and europe puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any ferdinand witze you can hear about europe.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes