Europe Jokes
131 europe jokes and hilarious europe puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about europe that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Do you want to make your foreign friends laugh? Check out these hilarious jokes, puns, and riddles about Europe and its famous countries like France, Denmark, and more! From Everton in Europe to Medieval Europe, these will have you rolling!
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Funniest Europe Short Jokes
Short europe jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The europe humour may include short country jokes also.
- I was confused why there are so many stories about vampires in Europe, but not in Africa. Then I remembered that vampires are killed by holy water.
They bless the rain down in Africa. - Dear Americans Dear Americans,
As today is 9.11 I wish you all the best and am really sorry for your losses.
Greetings from Europe! - Time zones are very confusing. Like it's may 2 in australia, may 1 in europe and 1954 in america
- In America you call people who marry their cousins hillbillys In Europe we call them Royals
- What does Grand Theft Auto and Europe in the 1930s have in common? If you have a star, you're being chased
- This year was the first year I couldnt travel to Europe because of Covid-19. Before this I couldnt because I didnt have money.
- Just found out that Norway has the highest cost of living in Europe... There's Norway I could A-Fjord to live there.
- As a German I have concerns about the European soccer championship... Last time it didn't end well when we sent a couple boys to France to defeat all of Europe.
- I asked my French friend if he watched superbowl... ...he said bowling is not so big in Europe.
- If you're an American in your bedroom... An American in your livingroom, an American in the kitchen, what are you in the bathroom?
European
\*Apologies to Europe...it's just a punny joke.
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Europe One Liners
Which europe one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with europe? I can suggest the ones about eastern europe and europe country.
- What is a Karen called in Europe? An American.
- What happens when you go to the bathroom in France? European.
- In Europe, they don't call it the "Friend Zone" They call it the "Pal Region"
- What do they call miley cyrus in Europe? ... Kilometre Cyrus
- Europe be like... eu: uk bro?
uk: it's not eu, it's me. - Europe must have a detergent based economy.. ..because it's tough on Greece.
- I played chess with my friend from Central Europe. Czech mate.
- What do they call Bigfoot in Europe? Bigmeter.
- How did the Mongols get to Europe? Steppe by steppe.
- How much free space does Europe have ? 1 GB.
- Why do chess players search for love in Central Europe? They prefer Czech mates
- What did Germany say to France after conquering Poland? Europe next.
- I Hit A Pole While Driving In Europe Once I'm now wanted in Poland for manslaughter.
- Eighty percent of married men cheat in America The rest cheat in Europe
- How can you tell if a church in Europe has no money? It's Baroque
Eastern Europe Jokes
Here is a list of funny eastern europe jokes and even better eastern europe puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I saw Queen play in Eastern Europe around the early 1900s I believe it was under Prussia
- What does an editor do in Eastern Europe? They Czech for errors.
- What do you call Planned Parenthood locations in Eastern Europe? a-borsch-tion clinics
- What's the contour integral of western Europe? Zero, because the poles are in eastern Europe.
- Why do so many American tourists end up in eastern Europe? They get Hungary so they go for Turkey.
- What is the saddest bird in eastern Europe? The Blue-Crane
- The smallest fortune teller went into a supermarket in Eastern Europe. Now there's a minimum medium at a Maxima.
- How did the Japanese man die when he visited eastern Europe? Prague.
Europe Country Jokes
Here is a list of funny europe country jokes and even better europe country puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Apparently the Brexit is inspiring other countries to hold their own referenda, and could lead to the breakup of the EU. Could this be The Final Countdown for Europe?
- Due to the conflicts in Europe some people believe that Palestine is not a real country... But I think it Israel!
- Whats a country that starts with a U Europe
Europe Asia Jokes
Here is a list of funny europe asia jokes and even better europe asia puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's the one problem that everyone from Asia, Africa, North America, South America, Antarctica, Europe, and Australia have in common? Living within continents.
- What's the difference between a race across Asia, and one across Europe? The one across Europe eventually ends because it has a Finnish line
- What did Asia say when Africa was next in line? Europe.
- Asia and his father are playing a board game. Asia's father takes his turn.
He looks at Asia and says, "Europe, Asia." - Africa and Asia are playing baseball Asia strikes out
Africa, Europe
Silly Europe Jokes for a Good Time with Friends
What funny jokes about europe you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean referendum jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make europe pranks.
If European in the bathroom, who's the guy on the floor?
Himalayan
What are you if you aren't European?
Eurapoopin.
-my daughter
Thanksgiving in Bulgaria
Obviously Thanksgiving is an American holiday. However, as a former soldier deployed to Southern Europe, I was given a week long pass during the week of Thanksgiving. I decided to go to Bulgaria. You know what the best thing about Thanksgiving in Bulgaria is?
Bulgaria is next to Turkey and Greece.
Making Sense of What's Happening in Europe
A policeman enters an interrogation room, in Athens, Greece.
He tells the perp: "You are accused of robbing the Bank of Greece, tell us where the money is!"
The perp reaches into his pocket and takes out a five-euro note.
"Here you go."
Three men are on a boat back to North America...
A Mexican, an American, and a Canadian are all heading back to their home countries after going on a vacation in Europe. Suddenly the boat starts to sink. The Canadian says, "The boat is too heavy, we need to get rid of some stuff." The Mexican says, "We already have too many of these in Mexico!" and he throws the tacos out of the boat. The Canadian says, "We already have too many of these in Canada!" and he throws all the maple syrup off the boat. The American says, "We already have too many of these in America!" and he throws the Mexican off the boat.
*apoligies for racism, I am not a racist person*
The famous joke from eastern europe. Depicting a stereotypic slooow estonian character.
An Estonian stands by a railway track.
Another Estonian passes by on a handcar, pushing the pump up and down.
The first one asks: Is it a long way to Tallinn?
Not too long.
He gets on the car and joins pushing the pump up and down.
After two hours of silent pumping the first Estonian asks again: Is it a long way still to Tallinn?
Now, it is very long way to Tallinn.
Europeans: What's a good American joke in your country?
On the heels of the funny Italian joke ("Emma comes first …") what jokes do other countries tell about Americans?
Why did Karl Marx like going to continental Europe so much?
Because they did not have proper tea.
UN Food Survey Fails...
UN Phone Survey
Last month, a world-wide telephone survey was conducted by the UN.
The only question asked was:
"Would you please give your honest opinion about possible solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a complete failure because:
In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.
In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.
In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.
In the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
And in Australia , New Zealand and Britain everyone hung up as soon as they heard the Indian accent.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Women are alot like continents.
At various times in her life, a woman is like the continents of the world. From 13 to 18, she's like Africa- v**... territory. From 18 to 30, she's like Asia- hot and exotic. From 30 to 45, she's like America- fully explored and free with her resources. From 45 to 55, she's like Europe- exhausted, but not without places of interest. From 55 onwards, she's like Australia- everybody knows it's down there, but nobody cares.
So I hear that the Euro is destabilizing and deflating...
...if its value decreases any more, Europe might have to switch back to their old international currency, Czechoslovakia.
I have a friend named miles
But he moved to Europe so now he goes by Kilometers.
Do you know why the European stock markets are sliding down?
Greece.
A Texas man is on vacation in Europe..
As he walks along with a tour guide, they come across some graffiti where someone has spray painted 'Yankee go home!"
The tour guide flustered and a bit embarrassed, said 'sorry you had to see that'
The Texan said 'don't worry, where I'm from we don't like them either'
The United Nations world-wide survey
The United Nations sent out a survey to all the nations in the different continents of the world.
The survey went like this:
"We want your honest opinion on how to find a solution to the food shortage in the rest of the world"
The survey of course, turned out to be a total and abject failure:
The People in western Europe didn't know what the word 'shortage' meant. The people in eastern Europe had no idea what the expression 'honest' was supposed to mean. In china no one knew what 'opinion' was. In Africa they didn't know what 'food' was. In the middle east no one could figure out what 'solution' was; and in america they had no idea what 'the rest of the world' meant.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A European m**... goes to an African tribe...
... and asks the tribeleader if he may stay with them. The leader agrees on one condition: No white child can be born.
However, 9 months later, a woman is discovered with a white child.
The leader summons the missonary to explain himself. The m**... looks out the window and shows the leader a herd of sheep and says:
" As you can see, all the sheep are white, yet one of them is black... "
In complete distress, the tribeleader exclaims: " Allright, I won't say anything about your child, as long as you don't say anything about the sheep!"
Did you know there were vegetarians in Medieval Europe?
More often than not, they were called "peasants"
Say what you will about terrorism in Europe
At least our planes take off and land at an airport.
Why are european cars the lightest?
because there's no Americans sitting in them.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I hope England beats iceland...
Or they will be out of Europe twice this week!
My dad, contemplating Brexit and the board game Risk,
"Well, Europe has always been hard to hold."
Europe is in turmoil, but at least I've got some steady income despite the migrant crisis
I own a florist around the corner from the French embassy
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between America and Europe?
In America, we call our i**... h**....
In Europe, they call them royals.
A couple was traveling across Europe but had to stop abruptly at Finland's borders. Why?
Because it was the Finnish line.
An international conference was being held..
In which USA, North Korea, Europe and Africa were taking part.
The judge said,"I would like to hear your opinions about shortage of food in the rest of the world, if you have any questions, please feel free to ask us".
African president asked, "What is food?".
Europe asked, "What is Short?".
USA asked, "What is the rest of the world?".
North Korea asked, "What is Opinion?".
I really like European food...
...so I decided to Russia over to a European restaurant because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'.
None of my European electronics worked properly in the US, until I prayed to God.
Turns out they just needed a higher power.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man tried smuggling sausage and v**... out of Europe and his suitcase caught fire and they had to evacuate the plane.
The whole event was pretty terrible.
It was the Absolut-wurst-case scenario.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If Europe uses Euros as currency...
then Africa should use Afros as currency.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Europeans use too many gyros for the s**... of animals. Let's alert PITA.
That was a terrible pun. I falafel.
European monarchs are a lot like beef Wellington.
They're in bread.
Where do Europeans go for slurpies?
11/7
A European pornstar was filming, after 3 minutes of recording they were done, the lady turned around and said 'is that all?'
He said sorry but I'm Finnish
The UN decided to do a worldwide survey...
The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge flop. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe, they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe, they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China, they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East, they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America, they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA, they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
Which former European state exported mainly napkins?
The Serviette Union
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Since Vampires are supposedly hurt by holy water, I always wondered why priests don't just say a prayer over every storm cloud, kill the vampires from above. Then I realized why so many Vampires are from Europe...
Someone already blessed the rains down in Africa
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"Mommy, mommy, I don't want to go to Europe!"
"Shut up and keep swimming."
I once knew a bunch of these. How many do you know?
Another one: "Mommy, mommy, I hate my sister's guts!" "Shut up and keep eating."
Did you know that the capital of Ireland had the maximum growth of Europe?
It's Dublin every year
An American guy is talking with European in some bar in USA.
The American guy is saying: "I heard you have now some problems with immigrants in Europe."
An Indian bends from the next table and says: "Be aware of that, we heavily underestimated that once"
So Europe have the euro....
Why don't Africa have the afro.
What do you call a skeleton who conquers Europe?
Napoleon Bonyparts.
I recently went on holiday to Europe after studying languages when I was younger...
It's turns out my German has gone from Bath to Sausage
Europe is like a fridge
You have the freezing cold part at the top
Then in the middle, you have cheese, cold meat, and a good drinks selection
Then down the bottom corner, there's just turkey and grease
Since vampires are hurt by holy water, I always wondered why Priests don't bless storm clouds and kill them from above. Then I realized why most vampires live in Europe
Someone already blessed the rains down in Africa
A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN.
The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
A new disease in France turns people into bread.
French authorities are unable to contain the spread, and the disease begins to make its way through Europe and to the rest of the world.
It's a paindemic.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a fat person in Europe?
A European and an American
European: Wanna hear a joke?
American: Sure.
European: Free Healthcare.
American: I don't get it.
European: I Know.
I don't care if it's not "politically correct"...
But I think the president of Europe is a really nice guy
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
All of my European friends tell me I have a f**....
I tell them, I'll never understand the metric system.
Do you know what Miles Davis is called in Europe?
1.60934 Kilometers Davis
joke courtesy of Stephen Wright
This is the first year that I have to cancel our family trip on winter vacation to Europe because of Covid....
Otherwise every year we had to cancel because of money.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Do europeans have a f**...?
No, they have a centimeter f**.....
In today's European Championship soccer match, several players from the Czech Republic were seen slipping on the grass repeatedly in their loss to Denmark, while their Danish opponents didn't seem to have an issue at all.
Must be an issue with Czechs and balances.
10% of European babies are conceived on an IKEA bed.
So, be sure to follow the instructions.
Put Peg A into Slot B, and then screw until the nuts tighten.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
In 1974, volkswagen introduced the Golf to Europe as a small car with a trunk large enough to stuff your golf clubs…
American companies would follow the success of this model, with Ford soon releasing the e**... in 1980.
*still working on this one
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
h**..., Stalin, and Napolean are complaining in the afterlife...
h**... whines "if I had Russian oil, I would have flattened Moscow."
Stalin replies "if I had the German Lufftwaffe, I would have taken over all of Europe."
Then Napolean says "if I had Russian and German p**... nobody would know I had lost."
Not a knee-s**..., but it's probably not a repost.
Which European political leader likes to write at sea?
Marine Le Pen
I'm a European frog; mostly French, a bit German, and...
...a tad Pole.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Last night, I, an American, was arguing with a European over whether Europe or the United States was better.
The European boasted, "We hardly even have racism here in Europe!" I asked them, "What about Romani people? Does the racism they experience not count?"
They replied, "Of course not! Romanis aren't people!"
