The Best 81 Europe Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Europe jokes. There are some europe turmoil jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these europe bulgaria puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Europe Jokes and Puns
A joke for Europe
A Greek, an Italian, and a Spaniard go into a bar and have an awesome time, ordering drinks till dawn. So who pays the tab?
A German.
If European in the bathroom, who's the guy on the floor?
Himalayan
What are you if you aren't European?
Eurapoopin.
-my daughter
Thanksgiving in Bulgaria
Obviously Thanksgiving is an American holiday. However, as a former soldier deployed to Southern Europe, I was given a week long pass during the week of Thanksgiving. I decided to go to Bulgaria. You know what the best thing about Thanksgiving in Bulgaria is?
Bulgaria is next to Turkey and Greece.
Making Sense of What's Happening in Europe
A policeman enters an interrogation room, in Athens, Greece.
He tells the perp: "You are accused of robbing the Bank of Greece, tell us where the money is!"
The perp reaches into his pocket and takes out a five-euro note.
"Here you go."
Three men are on a boat back to North America...
A Mexican, an American, and a Canadian are all heading back to their home countries after going on a vacation in Europe. Suddenly the boat starts to sink. The Canadian says, "The boat is too heavy, we need to get rid of some stuff." The Mexican says, "We already have too many of these in Mexico!" and he throws the tacos out of the boat. The Canadian says, "We already have too many of these in Canada!" and he throws all the maple syrup off the boat. The American says, "We already have too many of these in America!" and he throws the Mexican off the boat.
*apoligies for racism, I am not a racist person*
Europeans: What's a good American joke in your country?
On the heels of the funny Italian joke ("Emma comes first …") what jokes do other countries tell about Americans?
UN Food Survey Fails...
UN Phone Survey
Last month, a world-wide telephone survey was conducted by the UN.
The only question asked was:
"Would you please give your honest opinion about possible solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a complete failure because:
In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.
In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.
In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.
In the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
And in Australia , New Zealand and Britain everyone hung up as soon as they heard the Indian accent.
Women are alot like continents.
At various times in her life, a woman is like the continents of the world. From 13 to 18, she's like Africa- virgin territory. From 18 to 30, she's like Asia- hot and exotic. From 30 to 45, she's like America- fully explored and free with her resources. From 45 to 55, she's like Europe- exhausted, but not without places of interest. From 55 onwards, she's like Australia- everybody knows it's down there, but nobody cares.
So I hear that the Euro is destabilizing and deflating...
...if its value decreases any more, Europe might have to switch back to their old international currency, Czechoslovakia.
I recently became friends with someone from Central Europe
We met at a Chess tournament and I've never once beaten him in a game.
He's my Czech mate
You can explore europe country reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean europe england dad jokes. There are also europe puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
How did the Mongols get to Europe?
Steppe by steppe.
Do you know why the European stock markets are sliding down?
Greece.
Europe must have a detergent based economy..
..because it's tough on Greece.
A Texas man is on vacation in Europe..
As he walks along with a tour guide, they come across some graffiti where someone has spray painted 'Yankee go home!"
The tour guide flustered and a bit embarrassed, said 'sorry you had to see that'
The Texan said 'don't worry, where I'm from we don't like them either'
The United Nations world-wide survey
The United Nations sent out a survey to all the nations in the different continents of the world.
The survey went like this:
"We want your honest opinion on how to find a solution to the food shortage in the rest of the world"
The survey of course, turned out to be a total and abject failure:
The People in western Europe didn't know what the word 'shortage' meant. The people in eastern Europe had no idea what the expression 'honest' was supposed to mean. In china no one knew what 'opinion' was. In Africa they didn't know what 'food' was. In the middle east no one could figure out what 'solution' was; and in america they had no idea what 'the rest of the world' meant.
A European missionary goes to an African tribe...
... and asks the tribeleader if he may stay with them. The leader agrees on one condition: No white child can be born.
However, 9 months later, a woman is discovered with a white child.
The leader summons the missonary to explain himself. The missionary looks out the window and shows the leader a herd of sheep and says:
" As you can see, all the sheep are white, yet one of them is black... "
In complete distress, the tribeleader exclaims: " Allright, I won't say anything about your child, as long as you don't say anything about the sheep!"
I asked my French friend if he watched superbowl...
...he said bowling is not so big in Europe.
Say what you will about terrorism in Europe
At least our planes take off and land at an airport.
Why are European cars the lightest?
because there's no Americans sitting in them.
As a German I have concerns about the European soccer championship...
Last time it didn't end well when we sent a couple boys to France to defeat all of Europe.
Europe be like...
eu: uk bro?
uk: it's not eu, it's me.
I hope England beats Iceland...
Or they will be out of Europe twice this week!
How much free space does Europe have ?
1 GB.
My dad, contemplating Brexit and the board game Risk,
"Well, Europe has always been hard to hold."
Europe is in turmoil, but at least I've got some steady income despite the migrant crisis
I own a florist around the corner from the French embassy
What's the difference between America and Europe?
In America, we call our inbred hillbillies.
In Europe, they call them royals.
I was walking through a graveyard in Europe...
When I heard some strange music coming from one of the graves. Turns out, it was coming from Beethoven's grave. I took out my phone and recorded it, then took it to a friend of mine to identify.
"This is really strange...", he said. "This sounds like one of Beethoven's Symphonies, but it's backwards."
"Well, that makes sense", I said. "He's decomposing."
A couple was traveling across Europe but had to stop abruptly at Finland's borders. Why?
Because it was the Finnish line.
Just found out that Norway has the highest cost of living in Europe...
There's Norway I could A-Fjord to live there.
Why is Europe like a frying pan??
They both have Greece at the bottom!!
Im sick and tired of people calling America the stupidest country in the world
Personally I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world
I hate how everyone keeps saying America is the stupidest country in the world...
You know what I think? Europe is the stupidest country in the world.
An international conference was being held..
In which USA, North Korea, Europe and Africa were taking part.
The judge said,"I would like to hear your opinions about shortage of food in the rest of the world, if you have any questions, please feel free to ask us".
African president asked, "What is food?".
Europe asked, "What is Short?".
USA asked, "What is the rest of the world?".
North Korea asked, "What is Opinion?".
None of my European electronics worked properly in the US, until I prayed to God.
Turns out they just needed a higher power.
What did Germany say to France after conquering Poland?
Europe next.
A man tried smuggling sausage and vodka out of Europe and his suitcase caught fire and they had to evacuate the plane.
The whole event was pretty terrible.
It was the Absolut-wurst-case scenario.
If Europe uses Euros as currency...
then Africa should use Afros as currency.
Which part of Europe took in the most refugees?
The Mediterranean sea
I played chess with my friend from Central Europe.
Czech mate.
How they call Miley Cyrus in europe?
Kilometer Cyrus
Eighty percent of married men cheat in America
The rest cheat in Europe
European monarchs are a lot like beef Wellington.
They're in bread.
What does Grand Theft Auto and Europe in the 1930s have in common?
If you have a star, you're being chased
What's Justin Timberlakes favorite part of Eastern Europe?
The Crimea River.
The UN decided to do a worldwide survey...
The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge flop. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe, they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe, they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China, they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East, they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America, they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA, they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
Which former European state exported mainly napkins?
The Serviette Union
Since Vampires are supposedly hurt by holy water, I always wondered why priests don't just say a prayer over every storm cloud, kill the vampires from above. Then I realized why so many Vampires are from Europe...
Someone already blessed the rains down in Africa
"Mommy, mommy, I don't want to go to Europe!"
"Shut up and keep swimming."
I once knew a bunch of these. How many do you know?
Another one: "Mommy, mommy, I hate my sister's guts!" "Shut up and keep eating."
I'm American and I hate it when people say that America is the stupidest country in the world.
Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world.
What do they call Miley Cyrus in Europe?
... Kilometre Cyrus
If vampires are hurt by holy water, why don't priests just bless a storm cloud to kill vampires everywhere? But then I remembered why so many vampires are from Europe...
Someone already blessed the rains down in Africa.
A couple who's been married for 25 years are discussing their anniversary plans
Wife: what do you plan to give me on our silver wedding anniversary?
Husband: Surprise! I'm taking you to Europe!
Wife: Wow! How are you going to top that on our golden anniversary?
Husband: Well, I suppose I'll pick you up!
How can you tell if a church in Europe has no money?
It's Baroque
I recently went on holiday to Europe after studying languages when I was younger...
It's turns out my German has gone from Bath to Sausage
Europe is like a fridge
You have the freezing cold part at the top
Then in the middle, you have cheese, cold meat, and a good drinks selection
Then down the bottom corner, there's just turkey and grease
As an American, I see a lot of jokes here saying that America is the dumbest country.
It's ridiculous and unfair.
Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country.
Since vampires are hurt by holy water, I always wondered why Priests don't bless storm clouds and kill them from above. Then I realized why most vampires live in Europe
Someone already blessed the rains down in Africa
Time zones are very confusing. Like it's may 2 in australia, may 1 in europe
and 1954 in america
This year was the first year I couldnt travel to Europe because of Covid-19.
Before this I couldnt because I didnt have money.
What is a Karen called in Europe?
An American.
A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN.
The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
What happens when you go to the bathroom in France?
European.
A new disease in France turns people into bread.
French authorities are unable to contain the spread, and the disease begins to make its way through Europe and to the rest of the world.
It's a paindemic.
I was wondering why there were so many stories about vampires in Europe, but not in Africa, and than I realized Vampires are killed by Holy water...
They blessed the rains down in Africa.
Why are there so many vampires in Europe and not in Africa?
Vampires are killed with holy water and they bless the rains down in Africa.
What do you call a fat person in Europe?
An American tourist
In America you call people who marry their cousins hillbillys
In Europe we call them Royals
I'm American, and I'm sick of people saying America is the stupidest country in the world.
Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world.
European heaven/ European hell
European heaven is a place where the chefs are spanish, the police is british, the mechanics are germans, the lovers are italians and everything is organized by the swiss.
European hell is a place where the chefs are british, the police is german, the mechanics are spanish, the lovers are swiss and everything is organized by the italians.
I was wondering why there are so many stories about vampires in Europe but not in África. Then i realised vampires are killed by holy water.
They bless the rains down in Africa .
Credits to u/Josh1804
I was confused why there are so many stories about vampires in Europe, but not in Africa.
Then I remembered that vampires are killed by holy water.
They bless the rains down in Africa.
Dear Americans
Dear Americans,
As today is 9.11 I wish you all the best and am really sorry for your losses.
Greetings from Europe!
Who are the shiniest people In Europe?
The Polish.
All of my European friends tell me I have a foot fetish.
I tell them, I'll never understand the metric system.
A woman and her wealthy lover traveled across Europe
They started their tryst in Amsterdam, before traveling to Barcelona, then Cologne, and Dublin. After months of travel and steamy sex, they ended in Zurich.
It was a sorted affair.
1980s European leaders Mitterrand, Brezhnev and Thatcher were flying around Europe in a helicopter, trying to recognize cities without seeing them.
Thatcher went first. She stuck her ear out the window and stated: "I can hear Big Ben chime. This is London!"
Next was Mitterrand. He stuck his nose out and stated: "I can smell fresh baguette. This is Paris!"
Last was Brezhnev. He stuck his hand out and yelped: "What... hey! Somebody stole my watch! This is Moscow."
Do you know what Miles Davis is called in Europe?
1.60934 Kilometers Davis
joke courtesy of Stephen Wright
This is the first year that I have to cancel our family trip on winter vacation to Europe because of Covid....
Otherwise every year we had to cancel because of money.
Do europeans have a foot fetish?
No, they have a centimeter fetish..
In Europe, they don't call it the "Friend Zone"
They call it the "Pal Region"
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the europe cyrus jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working europe ferdinand piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.