The Best 79 Europe Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Europe jokes. There are some europe turmoil jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these europe eastern europe puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 Funniest Europe Jokes and Puns
A joke for Europe
A Greek, an Italian, and a Spaniard go into a bar and have an awesome time, ordering drinks till dawn. So who pays the tab?
A German.
What are you if you aren't European?
Eurapoopin.
-my daughter
Thanksgiving in Bulgaria
Obviously Thanksgiving is an American holiday. However, as a former soldier deployed to Southern Europe, I was given a week long pass during the week of Thanksgiving. I decided to go to Bulgaria. You know what the best thing about Thanksgiving in Bulgaria is?
Bulgaria is next to Turkey and Greece.
Making Sense of What's Happening in Europe
A policeman enters an interrogation room, in Athens, Greece.
He tells the perp: "You are accused of robbing the Bank of Greece, tell us where the money is!"
The perp reaches into his pocket and takes out a five-euro note.
"Here you go."
Three men are on a boat back to North America...
A Mexican, an American, and a Canadian are all heading back to their home countries after going on a vacation in Europe. Suddenly the boat starts to sink. The Canadian says, "The boat is too heavy, we need to get rid of some stuff." The Mexican says, "We already have too many of these in Mexico!" and he throws the tacos out of the boat. The Canadian says, "We already have too many of these in Canada!" and he throws all the maple syrup off the boat. The American says, "We already have too many of these in America!" and he throws the Mexican off the boat.
*apoligies for racism, I am not a racist person*
UN Food Survey Fails...
UN Phone Survey
Last month, a world-wide telephone survey was conducted by the UN.
The only question asked was:
"Would you please give your honest opinion about possible solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a complete failure because:
In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.
In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.
In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.
In the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
And in Australia , New Zealand and Britain everyone hung up as soon as they heard the Indian accent.
Women are alot like continents.
At various times in her life, a woman is like the continents of the world. From 13 to 18, she's like Africa- virgin territory. From 18 to 30, she's like Asia- hot and exotic. From 30 to 45, she's like America- fully explored and free with her resources. From 45 to 55, she's like Europe- exhausted, but not without places of interest. From 55 onwards, she's like Australia- everybody knows it's down there, but nobody cares.
So I hear that the Euro is destabilizing and deflating...
...if its value decreases any more, Europe might have to switch back to their old international currency, Czechoslovakia.
How did the Mongols get to Europe?
Steppe by steppe.
Do you know why the European stock markets are sliding down?
Greece.
Europe must have a detergent based economy..
..because it's tough on Greece.
You can explore europe country reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean europe england dad jokes. There are also europe puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A Texas man is on vacation in Europe..
As he walks along with a tour guide, they come across some graffiti where someone has spray painted 'Yankee go home!"
The tour guide flustered and a bit embarrassed, said 'sorry you had to see that'
The Texan said 'don't worry, where I'm from we don't like them either'
The United Nations world-wide survey
The United Nations sent out a survey to all the nations in the different continents of the world.
The survey went like this:
"We want your honest opinion on how to find a solution to the food shortage in the rest of the world"
The survey of course, turned out to be a total and abject failure:
The People in western Europe didn't know what the word 'shortage' meant. The people in eastern Europe had no idea what the expression 'honest' was supposed to mean. In china no one knew what 'opinion' was. In Africa they didn't know what 'food' was. In the middle east no one could figure out what 'solution' was; and in america they had no idea what 'the rest of the world' meant.
A European missionary goes to an African tribe...
... and asks the tribeleader if he may stay with them. The leader agrees on one condition: No white child can be born.
However, 9 months later, a woman is discovered with a white child.
The leader summons the missonary to explain himself. The missionary looks out the window and shows the leader a herd of sheep and says:
" As you can see, all the sheep are white, yet one of them is black... "
In complete distress, the tribeleader exclaims: " Allright, I won't say anything about your child, as long as you don't say anything about the sheep!"
I asked my French friend if he watched superbowl...
...he said bowling is not so big in Europe.
Why are European cars the lightest?
because there's no Americans sitting in them.
As a German I have concerns about the European soccer championship...
Last time it didn't end well when we sent a couple boys to France to defeat all of Europe.
Europe be like...
eu: uk bro?
uk: it's not eu, it's me.
I hope England beats Iceland...
Or they will be out of Europe twice this week!
How much free space does Europe have ?
1 GB.
What's the difference between America and Europe?
In America, we call our inbred hillbillies.
In Europe, they call them royals.
I was walking through a graveyard in Europe...
When I heard some strange music coming from one of the graves. Turns out, it was coming from Beethoven's grave. I took out my phone and recorded it, then took it to a friend of mine to identify.
"This is really strange...", he said. "This sounds like one of Beethoven's Symphonies, but it's backwards."
"Well, that makes sense", I said. "He's decomposing."
Just found out that Norway has the highest cost of living in Europe...
There's Norway I could A-Fjord to live there.
Why is Europe like a frying pan??
They both have Greece at the bottom!!
Im sick and tired of people calling America the stupidest country in the world
Personally I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world
I hate how everyone keeps saying America is the stupidest country in the world...
You know what I think? Europe is the stupidest country in the world.
An international conference was being held..
In which USA, North Korea, Europe and Africa were taking part.
The judge said,"I would like to hear your opinions about shortage of food in the rest of the world, if you have any questions, please feel free to ask us".
African president asked, "What is food?".
Europe asked, "What is Short?".
USA asked, "What is the rest of the world?".
North Korea asked, "What is Opinion?".
None of my European electronics worked properly in the US, until I prayed to God.
Turns out they just needed a higher power.
What did Germany say to France after conquering Poland?
Europe next.
A man tried smuggling sausage and vodka out of Europe and his suitcase caught fire and they had to evacuate the plane.
The whole event was pretty terrible.
It was the Absolut-wurst-case scenario.
If Europe uses Euros as currency...
then Africa should use Afros as currency.
I played chess with my friend from Central Europe.
Czech mate.
How they call Miley Cyrus in europe?
Kilometer Cyrus
What does Grand Theft Auto and Europe in the 1930s have in common?
If you have a star, you're being chased
The UN decided to do a worldwide survey...
The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge flop. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe, they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe, they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China, they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East, they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America, they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA, they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
Since Vampires are supposedly hurt by holy water, I always wondered why priests don't just say a prayer over every storm cloud, kill the vampires from above. Then I realized why so many Vampires are from Europe...
Someone already blessed the rains down in Africa
I'm American and I hate it when people say that America is the stupidest country in the world.
Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world.
What do they call Miley Cyrus in Europe?
... Kilometre Cyrus
If vampires are hurt by holy water, why don't priests just bless a storm cloud to kill vampires everywhere? But then I remembered why so many vampires are from Europe...
Someone already blessed the rains down in Africa.
I recently went on holiday to Europe after studying languages when I was younger...
It's turns out my German has gone from Bath to Sausage
Europe is like a fridge
You have the freezing cold part at the top
Then in the middle, you have cheese, cold meat, and a good drinks selection
Then down the bottom corner, there's just turkey and grease
As an American, I see a lot of jokes here saying that America is the dumbest country.
It's ridiculous and unfair.
Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country.
Since vampires are hurt by holy water, I always wondered why Priests don't bless storm clouds and kill them from above. Then I realized why most vampires live in Europe
Someone already blessed the rains down in Africa
Time zones are very confusing. Like it's may 2 in australia, may 1 in europe
and 1954 in america
This year was the first year I couldnt travel to Europe because of Covid-19.
Before this I couldnt because I didnt have money.
What is a Karen called in Europe?
An American.
A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN.
The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
What happens when you go to the bathroom in France?
European.
A new disease in France turns people into bread.
French authorities are unable to contain the spread, and the disease begins to make its way through Europe and to the rest of the world.
It's a paindemic.
I was wondering why there were so many stories about vampires in Europe, but not in Africa, and than I realized Vampires are killed by Holy water...
They blessed the rains down in Africa.
Why are there so many vampires in Europe and not in Africa?
Vampires are killed with holy water and they bless the rains down in Africa.
What do you call a fat person in Europe?
An American tourist
In America you call people who marry their cousins hillbillys
In Europe we call them Royals
I'm American, and I'm sick of people saying America is the stupidest country in the world.
Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world.
I was wondering why there are so many stories about vampires in Europe but not in África. Then i realised vampires are killed by holy water.
They bless the rains down in Africa .
Credits to u/Josh1804
I was confused why there are so many stories about vampires in Europe, but not in Africa.
Then I remembered that vampires are killed by holy water.
They bless the rains down in Africa.
Dear Americans
Dear Americans,
As today is 9.11 I wish you all the best and am really sorry for your losses.
Greetings from Europe!
In Europe, they don't call it the "Friend Zone"
They call it the "Pal Region"
In today's European Championship soccer match, several players from the Czech Republic were seen slipping on the grass repeatedly in their loss to Denmark, while their Danish opponents didn't seem to have an issue at all.
Must be an issue with Czechs and balances.
10% of European babies are conceived on an IKEA bed.
So, be sure to follow the instructions.
Put Peg A into Slot B, and then screw until the nuts tighten.
What do they call a Karen in Europe?
An American.
In 1974, Volkswagen introduced the Golf to Europe as a small car with a trunk large enough to stuff your golf clubs…
American companies would follow the success of this model, with Ford soon releasing the Escort in 1980.
*still working on this one
I'm a European frog; mostly French, a bit German, and...
...a tad Pole.
Last night, I, an American, was arguing with a European over whether Europe or the United States was better.
The European boasted, "We hardly even have racism here in Europe!" I asked them, "What about Romani people? Does the racism they experience not count?"
They replied, "Of course not! Romanis aren't people!"
A worldwide survey has been carried out with the following question:
*"PLEASE, GIVE US YOUR OPINION ON THE LACK OF FOOD IN THE REST OF THE World"* No result was achieved, since the following problems were facedduring the survey's implementation:
1. In Western Europe no one knew what is "lack"
2. In Africa no one knew what is "food"
3. In Eastern Europe no one knew what is "opinion"
4. In South America no one knew what is "please"
5. In the USA no one knew what is "rest of the world"
The Irish farmer
While on a trip in Europe, the farmer from Texas was driving through Ireland. He came to a farm and saw a man repairing a fence by the road. The Texan stopped and asked the man if this was his farm. Oh yes answered the Irish farmer, everything you see from the river down there to the hills up there is mine. The Texan smiled and said – well on my farm back in Texas I can drive my car the whole day without reaching the other side.
Now it was the Irish mans turn to smile while he said - Oh, I used to have a car like that too.
After 19 days of stealing Putin's tanks.
Ukrainian farmers are now the fifth largest military in Europe.
A bunch of different birds are chilling in a large group when
Another type of bird comes out of nowhere. "sorry lads I've just arrived from europe!" says the bird,
"Ukraine?" askes another. "Nah mate I'm a pelican"
Three boys and a girl
three boys pursue a girl at the same time, the girl says: you travel the world and i will choose again. the first boy went to europe, the second boy went to america, the third boy walked around the girl and said: you are my world! the girl was very moved, and with tears she chose the richest among them.
What do they call Bigfoot in Europe?
Bigmeter.
A teacher asks her class "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Little Johnny says "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day".
The teacher, shocked and not knowing how to respond to this, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. "And you, Susie? " the teacher asks.
Susie says "I wanna be Johnny's bitch."
Pearl Jam have had to cancel some gigs in Europe after Eddie Vedder experienced some issues with his throat.
The band tried to source a temporary replacement vocalist, but they can't find a better man.
I Hit A Pole While Driving In Europe Once
I'm now wanted in Poland for manslaughter.
A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN.
The only question asked was:
'Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world? The survey was a failure.
In Africa they didn't know what 'food' meant;
in India they didn't know what 'honest' meant;
in Europe they didn't know what 'shortage' meant;
in China they didn't know what 'opinion' meant;
in the Middle East they didn't know what 'solution' meant;
in South America they didn't know what 'please' meant;
in the USA they didn't know what 'the rest of the world' meant.
A group of American tourists were being guided through an ancient castle in Europe.
"This place," the guide told them, "is 600 years old. Not a stone in it has been touched, nothing altered, nothing replaced in all those years."
"Wow," said one woman they must have the same landlord I do."
I always wondered why you hear stories of vampires in Europe but never Africa.
Then I remembered vampires are killed by holy water, and they bless the rain down in Africa
An Aussie in the trenches
An Australian soldier is sent to the front lines in France during World War 1 and the gruff American general meets him saying alright private this is the roughest spot in Europe now. Did you come here to die?! The Aussie says Naw mate I came yes to die
100 is a nice round number
The European is visiting the United States for the first time: So how many cents in a dollar?
The American: 100, of course
The European: 100? Why not 62, or 37?
The American: 62? What are you talking about? It's 100. Of course, it is. It's a nice round number and easy to calculate. 62? You crazy Europeans.
The European: Right, gotcha. Thank you! So how many feet in a mile?
The American: Go back to Europe!
European Heaven & Hell
Heaven: The British are the police, the French are chefs, the Germans are the mechanics, the Swiss are the administrators, and the Italians are the lovers.
Hell: The Germans are the police, the British are the chefs, the French are the mechanics, the Italians are the administrators, and the Swiss are the lovers.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the europe ferdinand puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working europe bulgaria piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.