Euro Jokes
101 euro jokes and hilarious euro puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about euro that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
With just weeks to go until Brexit, read these hilarious and lighthearted jokes about the Euro and the UK! Find out about the Franc, English funds and Scotland/Wales' relationship with the Euro as well as other puns related to the upcoming elections. Have a laugh with these Euro jokes from around the UK!
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Funniest Euro Short Jokes
Short euro jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The euro humour may include short dollars jokes also.
- Traveling through Italy I spent hundreds of Euros on pasta. (Pun) It was worth every Penne.
- So I hear that the Euro is destabilizing and deflating... ...if its value decreases any more, Europe might have to switch back to their old international currency, Czechoslovakia.
- Julien asks for 10 euros from his french father. – What’s this for?
– To give to an old woman!
– It’s great to help her! So, where is this old lady?
– Over there. She sells ice cream! - Why wasn't Euro Disney popular? Every time they set off the fireworks, the French surrendered.
- After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, "what are you going to do now?" God said,
"I think I'm going to call it a day." - Bonnie Tyler is performing a concert in Greece next month. She'll be singing her classic. I need a Euro.
- Bob was grocery shopping in France... Cashier: That'll be 20 euros.
Bob: Alrighty!
Cashier: Would you like a bag?
Bob: Sure. Baguette. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) - Did you hear about IKEA's new breakfast deal? It's only one Euro but you have to make it yourself.
- I hear they're making a new 50 euro note on grease proof paper
- They are starting to print new Euro notes... ...on grease proof paper.
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Euro One Liners
Which euro one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with euro? I can suggest the ones about british pound and cents.
- What's the capital of Greece? About 5 euros.
- If i had 5 euros for evey gender.... i would have 10 euros and alot of counterfeit money
- Eleven Years ago Greece won Euro 2004 Today, Greece would be happy with 2004 Euros.
- In the EU they have zero euro notes so they can pay when they go to the doctor's office.
- England votes to leave the Euro cup Many express regret and want a rematch.
- What do you do if you can't afford to fly from Germany to the UK? euro
- So Europe have the euro.... Why don't Africa have the afro.
- How did the Euro Cup leave Wembley with the Italians? Via the South Gate
- Who's gonna win the Euro 2020 finale? Depends on how many lasers the crowd brings
- What does dad have in common with the Euro Cup? Not coming home.
- What's a Grecian urn? About 780 euros a month.
- Found a copy of "Dr. No" in German, and it only set me back nein euro.
- If I had a dollar for every time somebody got the punchline wrong I'd have a lot of euros
- The euro is being re-printed on greece proof paper
- What are the Greeks forced to eat in their hyper-inflated economy? Euros!
England Euro Jokes
Here is a list of funny england euro jokes and even better england euro puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- World record braker... .. for England that left Euro twice in 4 days!
Cheeky Euro Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity
What funny jokes about euro you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dollar bill jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make euro pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
s**... kid
A barber was doing his business and a kid walked in his shop.
The barber told his customer:
- See that kid, he's the stupidest kid I've ever know. Here I'll prove it to you.
The barber yells at kid to come to him so his customer can watch.
The barber pulls out a 2 euro coin and a 5 euro bill and asks the kid:
- Hey kid, what do u choose?
The kid takes the 2 euro coin and leaves. The barber:
- See, I told u. He chooses 2 euro coin every time.
The customer walks out and sees the kid around the corner eating ice-cream.
He approaches the kid and asks:
- Do u not know the difference between a 2 euro coin and a 5 euro bill. Which one is more valuable?
The kid replies:
- I know the difference, but the moment I choose the 5 euro bill, the game is over.
Greek/German joke I heard recently
So Angela Merkel decides to try to shore up some Euro solidarity by taking a vacation in Greece. When she gets to the border crossing, the guard looks over her papers and asks her "occupation?" "No," she replies, "just a vacation this time."
If European in the bathroom, who's the guy on the floor?
Himalayan
What are you if you aren't European?
Eurapoopin.
-my daughter
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney?
Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender.
Europeans: What's a good American joke in your country?
On the heels of the funny Italian joke ("Emma comes first …") what jokes do other countries tell about Americans?
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do Europeans hate American food?
Europeans don't want to die yet.
Unlike Americans who don't wanna diet.
My european friend Opee is opening up a restaurant where he claims to have the 'worlds best pizza'. His restaurant is in the middle of no where, but don't worry
Opee Delivers
What do the Eurozone and the New England Ptriots have in common?
They're both dogged by rumours of deflation.
How did the Europeans find the West?
By Occident.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
At the end of my 21st birthday meal, I mentioned to my dad that the waiter had been really friendly and accommodating.
So he hands him a 100 euro note and goes, "As the l**... said to the p**..., 'You can keep the tip!'"
Do you know why the European stock markets are sliding down?
Greece.
How do you have a rave in Greece?
Blu-Tac a euro to the ceiling
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man asks his wife: "Honey, what would you do if we won the lottery?"...
The wife replies: "Well, I would take half and divorce you."
"Oh, that's fine by me" the man replies "because we have won 24 Euro. Here is 12 Euro and now g**...!"
Europe must have a detergent based economy..
..because it's tough on Greece.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
As a European, I was always troubled by 2**....
Just how much is that in grams?
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A European m**... goes to an African tribe...
... and asks the tribeleader if he may stay with them. The leader agrees on one condition: No white child can be born.
However, 9 months later, a woman is discovered with a white child.
The leader summons the missonary to explain himself. The m**... looks out the window and shows the leader a herd of sheep and says:
" As you can see, all the sheep are white, yet one of them is black... "
In complete distress, the tribeleader exclaims: " Allright, I won't say anything about your child, as long as you don't say anything about the sheep!"
What's a European immigrant's favorite high school sport?
Cross country
Why are european cars the lightest?
because there's no Americans sitting in them.
Why did Europe start the first World War?
They did't like being sans-Ferdinand.
Euro 2016
Hi! I've got 2 tickets for the final of Euro 2016 but forgot that it's on the same day as my wedding so I can't go.
If you are interested and want to go instead of me ...
... It's at St. Nicholas' Church, Brighton and she's called Jane.
Europe be like...
eu: uk bro?
uk: it's not eu, it's me.
Europe is looking amazing right now.
It lost a few pounds recently.
Europe is in turmoil, but at least I've got some steady income despite the migrant crisis
I own a florist around the corner from the French embassy
Why did the European businessman sleep on the streets?
To avoid a hostel takeover.
Why did one european country eat the other?
Because it was Hungary
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If you're not a-poopin'...
...European.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If Europe uses Euros....
Can Nigeria use n**...?
I really like European food...
...so I decided to Russia over to a European restaurant because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'.
How did Europe feel after switching to the metric system?
Defeeted
George's son
George goes to the Birth Registration Office to register his newborn son.
The man behind the counter asks the name he wants to give to
the boy, and the father replies: "Euro."
The man says that such a name is not acceptable, because it's a currency.
Says George: "What? There weren't any objections when I called my first two sons Mark and Frank."
What do the European Union and the European Onion have in common?
They both make people cry when they're chopped up.
Eurovision must confuse alot of Americans
Because the one with the most votes wins
None of my European electronics worked properly in the US, until I prayed to God.
Turns out they just needed a higher power.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why was the Euroman speedwalking?
He was secretly Russian.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If Europe uses Euros as currency...
then Africa should use Afros as currency.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Europeans use too many gyros for the s**... of animals. Let's alert PITA.
That was a terrible pun. I falafel.
How come a European never forgets things???
He always Czechs himself
What is a European dragon's favorite food?
Swiss charred.
Is my girlfriend's Name European?
It says "Made in China, 100% Polyesterene, Do not Iron" I think its Swedish, I'm not sure.
What's a European cat's favorite breakfast?
Mews-li.
European monarchs are a lot like beef Wellington.
They're in bread.
Where do Europeans go for slurpies?
11/7
A European pornstar was filming, after 3 minutes of recording they were done, the lady turned around and said 'is that all?'
He said sorry but I'm Finnish
Which former European state exported mainly napkins?
The Serviette Union
The European Union is held together by E.U.rope
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the European arrive early?
Because he was Russian.
I'll show myself out...
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
In Europe baby infant boys very rarely get circumcised, but in the US they get circumcised w**...-nilly'
I'm European and have a quick question since I'm about to leave for vacation in the USA. My phonecharger won't fit into a wall outlet there.
Do I need an adapter for my buttplugs too?
Regards from Europe
I just felt I needed to pay my respects for 9/11
Three European contrabass players were denied access to USA at a New York airport...
...they couldn't let contraband trough customs.
If European in the bathroom, what are you before you get there?
Russian
(A substitute teacher told this in my class today)
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Europe lays there like a p**....
England is finished but won't pull out.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many European Parliament representatives does it take to change a lightbulb?
Trick question. You have to have a brain to change a lightbulb.
Europe is like a fridge
You have the freezing cold part at the top
Then in the middle, you have cheese, cold meat, and a good drinks selection
Then down the bottom corner, there's just turkey and grease
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Irishman's dog dies so he goes to see the local priest.
An Irishman's dog dies so he goes to see the local priest and tells him, "Father, me old dog died. Can ye say a wee mass for the old gal?"
"No. Can't do it. The Church doesn't do f**... mass for pets, but I'll tell you what, the Protestant church down the hill will most likely do it. They don't have the same high standards that we do."
"Fine father, but I have one more question for ye. Would two hundred euro be enough of a donation to thank them for their services."
The priest's eye grew wide and he slapped the man on the back telling him, "Ahhh, man, why didn't you TELL me that your dog was Catholic?!"
A 5, 10, 20, 50, 100 and 200 euro banknotes are waiting at the gates of heaven
Saint Peter let's in 5, 10 and 20 euro banknotes, but when it's time for the bigger ones he doesn't let them through and says: "I haven't seen you in church!"
A European and an American
European: Wanna hear a joke?
American: Sure.
European: Free Healthcare.
American: I don't get it.
European: I Know.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If I had one euro for every girl that finds me unattractive..
Eventually the girls would find me quite attractive
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
All of my European friends tell me I have a f**....
I tell them, I'll never understand the metric system.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Do europeans have a f**...?
No, they have a centimeter f**.....
In Europe, they don't call it the "Friend Zone"
They call it the "Pal Region"
In today's European Championship soccer match, several players from the Czech Republic were seen slipping on the grass repeatedly in their loss to Denmark, while their Danish opponents didn't seem to have an issue at all.
Must be an issue with Czechs and balances.
10% of European babies are conceived on an IKEA bed.
So, be sure to follow the instructions.
Put Peg A into Slot B, and then screw until the nuts tighten.
Which European political leader likes to write at sea?
Marine Le Pen
I'm a European frog; mostly French, a bit German, and...
...a tad Pole.
