Etiquette Jokes
14 etiquette jokes and hilarious etiquette puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about etiquette that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
From awkward emails to learning the basics of civility, this article explores the difficulties of displaying good etiquette through light-hearted jokes. Get a glimpse of the etiquette jokes behind the modern chivalry.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Etiquette Short Jokes
Short etiquette jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The etiquette humour may include short good manners jokes also.
- My proctogogist won't take my phone calls anymore. I guess saying "What, no happy ending!" isn't proper exam room etiquette.
- Proper Etiquette Q: Is it proper etiquette to eat chicken with the fingers?
A: No, the fingers should be eaten separately.
Share These Etiquette Jokes With Friends
Etiquette One Liners
Which etiquette one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with etiquette? I can suggest the ones about table manners and ethics.
- Why are rich people so concerned with etiquette? Because they have a lot of manors.
- Why are Stamford prisoners so well behaved? Because they come from con-etiquette.
- What state has the best table manners? Con-etiquette!
Gather Around for Fun Etiquette Jokes and Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about etiquette you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean attire jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make etiquette pranks.
People often misuse the word "chivalry."
I looked up the rules of chivalry. Only one part is about respecting women. The rest is medieval battle etiquette.
The other day I didn't open a door for a women behind me. "I guess chivlary is dead," she said. Enraged, I challenged her to armed combat
Turns out I'm the better jouster.
Chivalry is alive but that woman is dead.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two women meet over a coffee.
"Ah, Marie, I haven't seen you in years, what's going on in your life?"
"I have met a charming and well-off young man half my age."
"Majestic."
"Indeed. He took me to Paris, we dined in the finest restaurant, bought paintings from the vernissage!"
"Majestic!"
"Once we marry, he insists that I retire to our moderately sized European house, free to pursue my leisure activities."
"Definitely majestic!"
"But enough about me. Tell me about yourself, Annette. What are you up to lately?"
"I signed for an etiquette class. We've already learned to say 'majestic' instead of 'fucking h**...'"
List of the shortest books
1. The Australian Book of Foreplay.
2. Contraception by the Pope.
3. The American Guide to Etiquette.
4. Healthy Marriages by the British Royal Family.
5. Consumer Marketing Ethics.
6. Career Opportunities for History Majors.
7. My Life's Memories by Ronald Reagan.
8. Integrity by Bill Clinton.
9. The Wit and Wisdom of George W. Bush.
10. What I've Accomplished by Barack Obama.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
u**... etiquette tips
It's okay to say Hi to the man next to you at the u**.... It's even okay to say Hi, how's it going? It's not okay to say Hi. Nice watch!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Etiquette for golf is that it is not the done thing to argue about the score on a course.
But here were three members screaming at one another and play had stopped. The club official was called.
"What's the problem here?", he demanded.
"Well" said one player, "my partners had a s**..., and these two b**... want to add it to my score."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Bathroom Etiquette
An Air Force Major is just finishing up at a u**... when a Marine Corp Captain enters the bathroom. As the Marine is peeing, the Air Force officer makes a show of carefully soaping and scrubbing his hands with military precision. Just as the Air Force Major is drying off his hands, the Marine flushes and heads for the door.
"You know, in the Air Forces they teach us that you should always wash your hands after you pee," says the Air Force Major.
"Really?" replies the Marine. "In the Corp they just teach us not to pee on our hands."
