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Etiquette Jokes

14 etiquette jokes and hilarious etiquette puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about etiquette that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

From awkward emails to learning the basics of civility, this article explores the difficulties of displaying good etiquette through light-hearted jokes. Get a glimpse of the etiquette jokes behind the modern chivalry.

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Funniest Etiquette Short Jokes

Short etiquette jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The etiquette humour may include short good manners jokes also.

  1. My proctogogist won't take my phone calls anymore. I guess saying "What, no happy ending!" isn't proper exam room etiquette.
  2. Proper Etiquette Q: Is it proper etiquette to eat chicken with the fingers?
    A: No, the fingers should be eaten separately.
  3. u**... etiquette tips It's okay to say Hi to the man next to you at the u**.... It's even okay to say Hi, how's it going? It's not okay to say Hi. Nice watch!

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Etiquette One Liners

Which etiquette one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with etiquette? I can suggest the ones about table manners and ethics.

  1. Why are rich people so concerned with etiquette? Because they have a lot of manors.
  2. Why are Stamford prisoners so well behaved? Because they come from con-etiquette.
  3. What state has the best table manners? Con-etiquette!

Etiquette joke, What state has the best table manners?

Gather Around for Fun Etiquette Jokes and Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about etiquette you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean attire jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make etiquette pranks.

People often misuse the word "chivalry."

I looked up the rules of chivalry. Only one part is about respecting women. The rest is medieval battle etiquette.
The other day I didn't open a door for a women behind me. "I guess chivlary is dead," she said. Enraged, I challenged her to armed combat
Turns out I'm the better jouster.
Chivalry is alive but that woman is dead.

Two women meet over a coffee.

"Ah, Marie, I haven't seen you in years, what's going on in your life?"
"I have met a charming and well-off young man half my age."
"Majestic."
"Indeed. He took me to Paris, we dined in the finest restaurant, bought paintings from the vernissage!"
"Majestic!"
"Once we marry, he insists that I retire to our moderately sized European house, free to pursue my leisure activities."
"Definitely majestic!"
"But enough about me. Tell me about yourself, Annette. What are you up to lately?"
"I signed for an etiquette class. We've already learned to say 'majestic' instead of 'fucking h**...'"

List of the shortest books

1. The Australian Book of Foreplay.
2. Contraception by the Pope.
3. The American Guide to Etiquette.
4. Healthy Marriages by the British Royal Family.
5. Consumer Marketing Ethics.
6. Career Opportunities for History Majors.
7. My Life's Memories by Ronald Reagan.
8. Integrity by Bill Clinton.
9. The Wit and Wisdom of George W. Bush.
10. What I've Accomplished by Barack Obama.

Etiquette rule #381: When on a romantic date with a lady, you feel the need to use the bathroom, excuse yourself by saying:

Excuse me, I need to go shake hands with a dear friend of mine, who I hope to introduce you to later tonight.

Etiquette for golf is that it is not the done thing to argue about the score on a course.

But here were three members screaming at one another and play had stopped. The club official was called.
"What's the problem here?", he demanded.
"Well" said one player, "my partners had a s**..., and these two b**... want to add it to my score."

Etiquette joke, Etiquette for golf is that it is not the done thing to argue about the score on a course.