The Best 21 Eternity Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Eternity jokes. There are some eternity punishment jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these eternity immortality puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Eternity Jokes and Puns
What`s the definition of eternity?
The time between when you come and when she leaves.
What's the definition of eternity
4 blondes at a 4 way stop
Six months
A woman is told by her doctor that she has six months to live.
"Is there anything I can do?" she asks.
"Yes, there is," the doctor replies. "You could marry a tax accountant."
"How will that help my illness?" the woman asks.
"Oh, it won't help your illness," says the doctor, "but it will make that six months seem like an eternity!"
Ducks
Three women die in an accident and go to Heaven. There Saint Peter says, 'We only have one rule - don't step on the ducks!' They enter Heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks everywhere. In fact, it's almost impossible not to step on a duck, and the first woman accidently steps on one straight away. Saint Peter comes along with the ugliest man the woman has ever seen and chains them together saying, 'Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!' The next day, the second woman steps on a duck and she too is chained to an incredibly ugly man. The third woman is very, very careful with the ducks and manages to avoid stepping on any of them. One day Saint Peter comes along and chains her to an incredibly handsome man. The woman is delighted but wonders why she's been blessed. She gets on her knees and prays aloud, 'Oh Lord, what have I done to deserve this bounty?' The man says, 'I don't know about you, lady, but I trod on a duck.'
Why did the fashion designer want to be cremated?
Because he wouldn't be caught dead wearing the same outfit for all eternity.
I am the beginning of eternity, the end of time and space, the beginning of every end, And the end of every place. What am I?
The letter 'e'.
The perfect shot.
A golfer stands over his tee shot for what seems an eternity to his partner. He looks up, looks down, measures the distance and figures the wind direction and speed. The longer he takes, the more his partner fidgets. Finally his exasperated partner says, "What's taking so long? Hit the blasted ball!" The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot." "Forget it, man," the partner says. "You'll never hit her from here."
My girlfriend and I got in a fight the other day...
After a minute, she said "This is the last straw" and left.
I panicked. I called and texted wondering where she was.
After what felt like an eternity, she comes walking in the front door with groceries. Confused, I said, "I thought you were gone forever? I thought you were done with me."
She said "No honey...I told you...we ran out of straws..."
Say what you will about Trump's Presidency, but you can't overlook what he has accomplished in terms of healthcare specifically life expectancy...
He managed to turn one year into something that feels like an eternity.
Did you hear about elon musk sending a tesla car into space?
To *drift* for all eternity
That Coldplay song went on for an eternity
Every time I thought it was getting to the end, the singer kept going back to the start.
You can explore eternity infinite reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean eternity brimstone dad jokes. There are also eternity puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Adam and Eve had been brainstorming with God for what felt like an eternity.
"Two dozen hours?" asked Adam.
"One seventh of a week?" suggested Eve.
God shook his head and sighed. "Let's just call it a day."
I am totally alright with Gay marriage...
I believe that if two people truly love each other and want to spend the rest of eternity burning in a lake of fire then who am I to judge?
There's a Greek myth about a stream whose water will attach itself to your skin for all eternity.
The river sticks
A man tells a Rabbi: "I have a strong desire to live to eternity"
"Get married," replies the Rabbi.
"Is that simple? Would that allow me to live forever?"
"Not really, but the desire will disappear."
If you believe in eternity then You believe there is no end.
omega mistake if you ask me!
If I only had a few moments left to live, I would spend it in math class
Because each second feels like an eternity
Adam was feeling a bit lonely in the garden of Eden
"Hey, God. I'm bored! I'm lonely, I have no one to talk to
The animals are great and all, but I need someone to share all of this with"
"Very well, I shall create for you the perfect companion.
a **woman**!
She will be smart, will make you laugh, she will love you, and you her for eternity.
But you will have to give up a leg and an arm"
"Uhm......
what can you give me for a rib?"
What is the definition of an eternity?
The time between me getting off and her leaving.
A man was sent to hell after his death..
As he was being led into the pits for an eternity of torment, he saw a lawyer passionately kissing a beautiful woman.
What a joke! he said. I have to roast in flames for all eternity and that lawyer gets to spend it with that beautiful woman. Satan jabbed the man with his pitchfork and snarled, Who are you to question that woman's punishment?
Did you hear about the dyslexic guy that sold his soul to Satan?
He is now forced to make presents in the North Pole for all eternity.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the eternity afterlife jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working eternity sinners piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.