estimated Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious estimated puns

Congratulations to the winner of last night's presidential debate!

The Voyager probe, flying away from Earth at an estimated 62000 km per hour.

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A plane takes off on the pilot announces on the loudspeaker....

"this is your captain John Smith, our destination is Bogotรก, our flight time is estimated at five hours, blah blah blah..." he forgets to hang up the loudspeaker and proceeds to tell his copilot "here take the controls while I go take a shit and then I'm going to fuck the new fine flight attendant."

Everyone on the plane is surprised and the flight attendant is desperately running towards the cabin to tell them to turn off the loudspeaker, when she slips and falling next to and old woman who tells her "dearie, don't be such a whore, he said he was going to take a shit first"

Pardon me, English is not my native language.

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There was a fire at my local dollar store

Damage is estimated to be in the tens of dollars

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An Famous Statistician

A famous statistician would never travel by airplane, because he had studied air travel and estimated that the probability of there being a bomb on any given flight was one in a million, and he was not prepared to accept these odds.

One day, a colleague met him at a conference far from home. "How did you get here, by train?"

"No, I flew"

"What about the possibility of a bomb?"

"Well, I began thinking that if the odds of one bomb are 1:million, then the odds of two bombs are (1/1,000,000) x (1/1,000,000). This is a very, very small probability, which I can accept. So now I bring my own bomb along!"

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Condom Joke

The largest condom factory in the United States burned down.
> >>>
> >>> President Obama was awakened at 4 am by the telephone. "Sorry to
> >>>bother you
> at this hour. Sir, but there is an emergency! I've
> just
> >>>received word that the Durex factory in Washington has
> burned to the
> >>>ground. It is estimated that the entire USA
> supply of condoms will be
> >>>used up by the end of the
> week."
> >>>
> >>> Obama: "Oh damn! The economy will never
> be able to cope with all
> >>>those unwanted babies. We'll be
> ruined. We'll have to ship some in
> >>>from Mexico
> ."
> >>>
> >>> Telephone voice says, "Bad idea... The
> Mexicans will have a field
> >>>Day with this one. We'll be a
> laughing stock.. What about Canada ?"
> >>>
> >>> Obama:
> "Okay, I'll call Stephen Harper and tell him we need
> five
> >>>Million condoms, ten inches long and three inches
> thick. That way,
> >>>They'll continue to respect us as
> Americans."
> >>>
> >>> Three days later, a delighted
> President Obama ran out to open the
> >>>First of the 10,000
> boxes that had just arrived. He found it full of
> >>>Condoms,
> 10 inches long and 3 inches thick, exactly as
> requested...
> >>>All colored with red maple leaves with small
> writing on each one:
> >>>
> >>> MADE IN CANADA - SIZE:
> SMALL

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What is the estimated 6th commandment of math?

Tau shall not steal.

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A woman gets a lifetime bus pass for her 103rd birthday

Estimated value: $30

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A busload of Fat Camp initiates careened off course one day....

It was an estimated thousands of pounds worth of damage.

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What are the most funny Estimated jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Estimated? Well, here are the best Estimated dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Estimated pick up lines to share with friends.

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