Estate Jokes
102 estate jokes and hilarious estate puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about estate that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Ready for a good laugh? Check out this collection of estate jokes, perfect for your next festivities. From estate agents to real estate attorneys and estate sales to estate planners, there's something for everyone! With jokes fit for a king, you won't want to miss out on these humorous jokes. Get ready to be the top ringer!
Quick Jump To
- Short Estate Jokes
- Estate One Liners
- Real Estate Jokes
- Estate Agents Jokes
- Estate Agent Jokes
- More Estate Jokes
Funniest Estate Short Jokes
Short estate jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The estate humour may include short yards jokes also.
-
My blonde neighbour has put 'Missing Cat' posters all over the trees on our estate.
I said to her, "I thought your cat died last week, Becky?"
"It did," she replied, "That's why I'm missing him." - BREAKING NEWS: Donald Trump does not accept presidential election... Says he doesn't want to move into an estate which previously had black tenants.
- My job is selling houses in places like Narnia, Middle-Earth, Neverland, Oz and Wonderland. I'm a Not Real Estate Agent.
- Did you hear about the armed man who ran into the real estate office and shouted, "NOBODY MOVE!"
- What do you call a real estate agency opened by a detective? Sherlock Homes
(I don't know if it was posted before but I found the joke by myself ) - Need advice A bit hesitant to invest my money into this dubious Egyptian real estate company.
I am afraid it might be a pyramide scheme. - Women are always impressed when I tell them I work in real estate. And to think, my friends almost talked me out of becoming a grave digger!
- I'm moving to California to become a real estate agent... I heard the market is on fire!!!
- So I heard the Michael Jackson Estate is coming out with it's own line of Caviars It's true! It comes on little white crackers.
- The estate of Charles Dickens is too make alcoholic beverages from the apples on their land The slogan is "All the girls love a Dickens Cider"
Share These Estate Jokes With Friends
Estate One Liners
Which estate one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with estate? I can suggest the ones about lands and town.
- Get in on Syrian real estate now! The markets are exploding!
- What does a british real estate agent care most about? His proper tea
- An armed man ran into a real estate office He shouted, "Nobody move!"
- Buried Knife Found at O.J.'s Estate Proof that black knives matter?
- Why did the mathematician buy a 7-11? Because it was prime real estate
- What do you call a detective in the real estate business? Sherlock Homes
- Millenials dream about owning a house Too bad it's surreal estate
- An armed man ran into a real estate agency and shouted… "Nobody move!"
- I hear it's a good time to buy real estate in Texas! The housing market is flooded.
- What did the retired detective call his new real-estate business? Sherlock Homes.
- When it comes to board games about buying real estate... Hasbro really has the Monopoly.
- A cow, a pig, and a chicken walk into an estate... ...call that animal house
- What did the depressed rural estate agent do? Sell farm
- I'm a British real estate agent I only drink propertea.
- What does an amateur Mexican real estate agent say to his clients.? Hey look, homes
Real Estate Jokes
Here is a list of funny real estate jokes and even better real estate puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's important to remember when buying real estate in Japan? Look Asian, look Asian, look Asian.
- The price of real estate in my neighbourhood has become so expensive only cats can afford it. You need 9 lives to pay it off.
Ps - should this be in /showerthoughts? - Excuse me, are you a booming real estate property? because I'm about to pump my liquid assets into you
- Why did the Real Estate Agent fail to sell the house next to a horse stable? Because his clients were worried about the neigh-bors.
- Real estate available on Guantanamo Bay! Don't worry about rent - Boarding is free!
- A conversation I just had. Friend - "My Dad just bought a condo in Afghanistan, what an idiot."
Me - "Are you kidding? Those real estate prices are set to explode." - You can't trust real estate developers. They're always busy with plots and schemes.
- Honestly, im glad Trump became president, crime dropped his first day on the job. Real estate fraud worldwide dropped within 24 hours
- What's a real estate agents favorite song? For lease navidad
- Why do members of the LGBTQ community invest in commercial real estate as opposed to residential? Because commercial real estate is non binary
Estate Agents Jokes
Here is a list of funny estate agents jokes and even better estate agents puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Just moved into a new home and found out that it doesn't have a basement. It was just the estate agent doing that pretend walking down the stairs thing behind the couch.
- I've just spent my life savings on a cannabis farm. The estate agent assured me it's a growth industry.
- Me : how big is this room ? Estate agent : it's 15 square feet
Me : I could fit at least 3200 copies of the movie ratatouille on dvd in here
Estate agent : what
Me : what - How would Madame Foster begin the process of putting her Home for Imaginary Friends up for sale? By contacting a Fake Estate Agent.
- How to tell an estate agent is lying? Their lips will be moving.
- A gang of British estate agents jumped me last night. Almost gave me a Haart attack.
- I want to get my real estate license and never ever ever tell anyone... That way I can be a secret agent.
- I want to be a horticulturalist and a real estate agent. That way I can be both a grower and a shower.
- Q: Why did God invent lawyers?
A: So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on. - As a commercial real estate agent, I especially enjoy showing of the shopping centers... Cause once you've seen one, you've seen a Mall!
Estate Agent Jokes
Here is a list of funny estate agent jokes and even better estate agent puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I asked a real estate agent if I could see the pamphlet for the open house "Brochure"
- I got fired as an estate agent the other day. It was for selling the wrong type of semi.
- Whats an Estate Agents favourite drink? Proper Tea ...
Entertaining Estate Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone
What funny jokes about estate you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean wealth jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make estate pranks.
I was chatting to this extraordinarily attractive girl the other day...
"What do you do for a living?"' I asked her.
"Real estate, you know, selling houses, apartments etc, What do you have?" she replied.
"At the moment', I replied, "I just happen to have a semi".
My Irish friend p**... just told me that he robbed a shop last night.
"What did you get?" I asked.
"26 pictures," he smiled, showing me. "The cheapest one is worth over $180,000."
I said, "Dude, these are from an real estate agents."
True Story from South Carolina
A real estate agent said she saw a for sale sign leaned against a stump in front of a house. She saw a car in the driveway and decided to stop and inquire about the property. She rang the bell, an old man appeared, she explained who she was and asked how much the house was listed for. The old man laughed and said "Lady the house aint for sale, the stump is."
Why do people buy expensive rims?
they're investing in wheel estate.
I work as a real estate agent, so Im often in charge of lots of different locations for resale. Unfortunately, in recent weeks somebody has been dumping wet mud and dirt onto one of my empty properties that is waiting to be built upon...
***the plot thickens***
You know what they say about location in real estate?
Not much but they say it three times.
I just got a great deal on some real estate in California.
It was a fire sale!
Did you hear Prince's sister is inheriting his estate? There's just one problem…
She's just like their mother, so she's never satisfied.
Did you hear about the South Carolina r**... who passed away and left his entire estate in trust for his beloved widow?
She can't touch it until she's fourteen.
As someone who invested in real estate last year..
I appreciate depreciation.
So, apparently, Marie Antoinette was really good at o**... s**......
In fact, the entire Third Estate wanted her head!
It is really sad to hear that Tom Petty's family is fighting over his estate.
After all, it is really just petty cash.
A man was trying to subdivide a large piece of property he owned in Manhattan.
But no matter how many ways he tried, he was unable to split it up into any number of equal sized parcels. He asked a realtor if she could help, but the realtor said there was simply no way to do it.
The problem, she said, is that's a piece of prime real estate.
The Jackson estate recently made an announcement...
That upon his death, they'd had Michael's body melted down and cast into pieces of LEGO.
So now it's finally safe for the kids to play with Michael.
(not mine) I hate the Harry Potter franchise, it's too unrealistic.
I mean I'm not saying magic is impossible, everyone on my estate fights with sticks, there may even be the odd unicorn about, but who, has ever seen a ginger kid with two mates ?
Four men are at a bar bragging about how successful their sons are
One says"my son is a successful brick layer and he bought his friend a Lamborghini just because"...the second man says"my friend is a successful real estate agent and he bought his friend a yacht just because"the third man says"my son is a great lawyer and he bought his friend a mansion just because"....their was a minute of silence and the second man asks the fourth man what his son does ...the fourth man replies"he's a gay stripper"..the third man says"oh you must be ashamed I'm sorry"which the fourth man says"not really his three boyfriends bought him a Lamborghini,a yacht,and a mansion just because"
Why is that palm tree reading out your dead grandfather's will?
Isn't it obvious? He's the Exeggutor of the estate.
An owl has taken control of my elderly mothers estate recently
I guess that's the power of a tawny
Estate planning
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Spent all morning with my estate planning lawyer working on my will," he tells the bartender. "Turns out I can't leave all my money to an imaginary friend. Unless they have a church."
A trucker drives through some industrial estate,
He stops near a warehouse and ten minutes later a p**... approaches nearby.
"50 and I'll do anything, love."
The trucker stares at her up and down.
"deal, grab the forklift and start unloading the truck."
A rich man demanded to be buried with his money
Upon his death bed a miser demanded he be buried with all his money leaving behind nothing for his wife and children. After his death some friends approached his widow to offer her jobs and gifts but discover she has bought a new home, car, and wardrobe. The friends ask how she can afford all of this with the entire estate being buried with her deceased husband? The widow replied, well I deposited the funds from the estate into my account and buried my dear husband with a check for the total.
