Entertaining Estate Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone
The estate of Charles Dickens is too make alcoholic beverages from the apples on their land
The slogan is "All the girls love a Dickens Cider"
My blonde neighbour has put 'Missing Cat' posters all over the trees on our estate.
I said to her, "I thought your cat died last week, Becky?"
"It did," she replied, "That's why I'm missing him."
I was chatting to this extraordinarily attractive girl the other day...
"What do you do for a living?"' I asked her.
"Real estate, you know, selling houses, apartments etc, What do you have?" she replied.
"At the moment', I replied, "I just happen to have a semi".
Women are always impressed when I tell them I work in real estate.
And to think, my friends almost talked me out of becoming a grave digger!
My Irish friend p**... just told me that he robbed a shop last night.
"What did you get?" I asked.
"26 pictures," he smiled, showing me. "The cheapest one is worth over $180,000."
I said, "Dude, these are from an real estate agents."
True Story from South Carolina
A real estate agent said she saw a for sale sign leaned against a stump in front of a house. She saw a car in the driveway and decided to stop and inquire about the property. She rang the bell, an old man appeared, she explained who she was and asked how much the house was listed for. The old man laughed and said "Lady the house aint for sale, the stump is."
A conversation I just had.
Friend - "My Dad just bought a condo in Afghanistan, what an idiot."
Me - "Are you kidding? Those real estate prices are set to explode."
Buried Knife Found at O.J.'s Estate
Proof that black knives matter?
I'm a British real estate agent
I only drink propertea.
Did you hear Prince's sister is inheriting his estate? There's just one problem…
She's just like their mother, so she's never satisfied.
Did you hear about the South Carolina r**... who passed away and left his entire estate in trust for his beloved widow?
She can't touch it until she's fourteen.
You can explore estate kingdom reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean estate legacy dad jokes. There are also estate puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
BREAKING NEWS: Donald Trump does not accept presidential election...
Says he doesn't want to move into an estate which previously had black tenants.
Get in on Syrian real estate now!
The markets are exploding!
What do you call a detective in the real estate business?
Sherlock Homes
How to tell an estate agent is lying?
Their lips will be moving.
What does a british real estate agent care most about?
His proper tea
So, apparently, Marie Antoinette was really good at o**... s**......
In fact, the entire Third Estate wanted her head!
So I heard the Michael Jackson Estate is coming out with it's own line of Caviars
It's true! It comes on little white crackers.
What did the depressed rural estate agent do?
Sell farm
I'm moving to California to become a real estate agent...
I heard the market is on fire!!!
Real estate available on Guantanamo Bay! Don't worry about rent -
Boarding is free!
What does an amateur Mexican real estate agent say to his clients.?
Hey look, homes
A man was trying to subdivide a large piece of property he owned in Manhattan.
But no matter how many ways he tried, he was unable to split it up into any number of equal sized parcels. He asked a realtor if she could help, but the realtor said there was simply no way to do it.
The problem, she said, is that's a piece of prime real estate.
Why did the Real Estate Agent fail to sell the house next to a horse stable?
Because his clients were worried about the neigh-bors.
You can't trust real estate developers.
They're always busy with plots and schemes.
Excuse me, are you a booming real estate property?
because I'm about to pump my liquid assets into you
How would Madame Foster begin the process of putting her Home for Imaginary Friends up for sale?
By contacting a Fake Estate Agent.
The Jackson estate recently made an announcement...
That upon his death, they'd had Michael's body melted down and cast into pieces of LEGO.
So now it's finally safe for the kids to play with Michael.
Me : how big is this room ?
Estate agent : it's 15 square feet
Me : I could fit at least 3200 copies of the movie ratatouille on dvd in here
Estate agent : what
Me : what
When it comes to board games about buying real estate...
Hasbro really has the Monopoly.
The price of real estate in my neighbourhood has become so expensive only cats can afford it.
You need 9 lives to pay it off.
Ps - should this be in /showerthoughts?
What's important to remember when buying real estate in Japan?
Look Asian, look Asian, look Asian.
(not mine) I hate the Harry Potter franchise, it's too unrealistic.
I mean I'm not saying magic is impossible, everyone on my estate fights with sticks, there may even be the odd unicorn about, but who, has ever seen a ginger kid with two mates ?
Just moved into a new home and found out that it doesn't have a basement.
It was just the estate agent doing that pretend walking down the stairs thing behind the couch.
A cow, a pig, and a chicken walk into an estate...
...call that animal house
Four men are at a bar bragging about how successful their sons are
One says"my son is a successful brick layer and he bought his friend a Lamborghini just because"...the second man says"my friend is a successful real estate agent and he bought his friend a yacht just because"the third man says"my son is a great lawyer and he bought his friend a mansion just because"....their was a minute of silence and the second man asks the fourth man what his son does ...the fourth man replies"he's a gay stripper"..the third man says"oh you must be ashamed I'm sorry"which the fourth man says"not really his three boyfriends bought him a Lamborghini,a yacht,and a mansion just because"
An armed man ran into a real estate agency and shouted…
"Nobody move!"
I've just spent my life savings on a cannabis farm.
The estate agent assured me it's a growth industry.
Why is that palm tree reading out your dead grandfather's will?
Isn't it obvious? He's the Exeggutor of the estate.
I hear it's a good time to buy real estate in Texas!
The housing market is flooded.
An owl has taken control of my elderly mothers estate recently
I guess that's the power of a tawny
Estate planning
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Spent all morning with my estate planning lawyer working on my will," he tells the bartender. "Turns out I can't leave all my money to an imaginary friend. Unless they have a church."
Need advice
A bit hesitant to invest my money into this dubious Egyptian real estate company.
I am afraid it might be a pyramide scheme.
A trucker drives through some industrial estate,
He stops near a warehouse and ten minutes later a p**... approaches nearby.
"50 and I'll do anything, love."
The trucker stares at her up and down.
"deal, grab the forklift and start unloading the truck."
A rich man demanded to be buried with his money
Upon his death bed a miser demanded he be buried with all his money leaving behind nothing for his wife and children. After his death some friends approached his widow to offer her jobs and gifts but discover she has bought a new home, car, and wardrobe. The friends ask how she can afford all of this with the entire estate being buried with her deceased husband? The widow replied, well I deposited the funds from the estate into my account and buried my dear husband with a check for the total.
My job is selling houses in places like Narnia, Middle-Earth, Neverland, Oz and Wonderland.
I'm a Not Real Estate Agent.
Did you hear about the armed man who ran into the real estate office and shouted,
"NOBODY MOVE!"
Millenials dream about owning a house
Too bad it's surreal estate
What do you call a real estate agency opened by a detective?
Sherlock Homes
(I don't know if it was posted before but I found the joke by myself )
Why did the mathematician buy a 7-11?
Because it was prime real estate
An armed man ran into a real estate office
He shouted, "Nobody move!"
