Estate Agents Jokes
37 estate agents jokes and hilarious estate agents puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about estate agents that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Estate Agents Short Jokes
Short estate agents jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The estate agents humour may include short estate agent jokes also.
- My job is selling houses in places like Narnia, Middle-Earth, Neverland, Oz and Wonderland. I'm a Not Real Estate Agent.
- I'm moving to California to become a real estate agent... I heard the market is on fire!!!
- Just moved into a new home and found out that it doesn't have a basement. It was just the estate agent doing that pretend walking down the stairs thing behind the couch.
- I've just spent my life savings on a cannabis farm. The estate agent assured me it's a growth industry.
- Me : how big is this room ? Estate agent : it's 15 square feet
Me : I could fit at least 3200 copies of the movie ratatouille on dvd in here
Estate agent : what
Me : what - Why did the Real Estate Agent fail to sell the house next to a horse stable? Because his clients were worried about the neigh-bors.
- How would Madame Foster begin the process of putting her Home for Imaginary Friends up for sale? By contacting a Fake Estate Agent.
- I want to get my real estate license and never ever ever tell anyone... That way I can be a secret agent.
- I want to be a horticulturalist and a real estate agent. That way I can be both a grower and a shower.
- Q: Why did God invent lawyers?
A: So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Estate Agents One Liners
Which estate agents one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with estate agents? I can suggest the ones about real estate agent and real estate.
- What does a british real estate agent care most about? His proper tea
- What did the depressed rural estate agent do? Sell farm
- I'm a British real estate agent I only drink propertea.
- What does an amateur Mexican real estate agent say to his clients.? Hey look, homes
- How to tell an estate agent is lying? Their lips will be moving.
- What's a real estate agents favorite song? For lease navidad
- A gang of British estate agents jumped me last night. Almost gave me a Haart attack.
- I asked a real estate agent if I could see the pamphlet for the open house "Brochure"
- I got fired as an estate agent the other day. It was for selling the wrong type of semi.
- Whats an Estate Agents favourite drink? Proper Tea ...
Estate Agents Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about estate agents you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean insurance agent jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make estate agents pranks.
Four men are at a bar bragging about how successful their sons are
One says"my son is a successful brick layer and he bought his friend a Lamborghini just because"...the second man says"my friend is a successful real estate agent and he bought his friend a yacht just because"the third man says"my son is a great lawyer and he bought his friend a mansion just because"....their was a minute of silence and the second man asks the fourth man what his son does ...the fourth man replies"he's a gay stripper"..the third man says"oh you must be ashamed I'm sorry"which the fourth man says"not really his three boyfriends bought him a Lamborghini,a yacht,and a mansion just because"
My Irish friend p**... just told me that he robbed a shop last night.
"What did you get?" I asked.
"26 pictures," he smiled, showing me. "The cheapest one is worth over $180,000."
I said, "Dude, these are from an real estate agents."
True Story from South Carolina
A real estate agent said she saw a for sale sign leaned against a stump in front of a house. She saw a car in the driveway and decided to stop and inquire about the property. She rang the bell, an old man appeared, she explained who she was and asked how much the house was listed for. The old man laughed and said "Lady the house aint for sale, the stump is."
I work as a real estate agent, so Im often in charge of lots of different locations for resale. Unfortunately, in recent weeks somebody has been dumping wet mud and dirt onto one of my empty properties that is waiting to be built upon...
***the plot thickens***
As a commercial real estate agent, I especially enjoy showing of the shopping centers...
Cause once you've seen one, you've seen a Mall!
p**... met Angus in a pub
Over their pints, Angus leaned in and said does ye know what I did last night, eh?
p**... had no idea, and Angus said I'm a very rich man. I robbed a shop full of expensive pictures!
p**... was impressed. He said to Angus wow, that's astonishing! When you sell 'em, give me some money!
Angus said yes, of course. But p**... thought for a bit, and he asked Angus how does ye know they were expensive?
Angus replied ah, well, they got price tags don't they? Cheapest one was €180,000, wasn't it? Picture of some house! 'Course they all were.
p**... thought for a minute, and then said Angus, ye didn't rob the estate agent did ye?
LAWYERS DON'T LIE
A lawyer had a wife and 12 children and needed to move as his rental agreement was coming to an end for the home where he lived but was having difficulty in finding a new home.
When he said he had 12 children, no one would rent a home to him because they knew that the children would destroy the home.
He could not say that he had no children, he could not lie, after all, lawyers cannot and do not lie.
So, he had an idea: he sent his wife for a walk to the cemetery with 11 children. He took the remaining one with him to see homes with the Real Estate Agent. He liked one of the homes and the agent asked, "How many children do you have?
He answered : "12 children.
The agent asked "Where are the others?'
The lawyer answered, with a sad look, "They are in the cemetery with their mother.
And that's the way he was able to rent a home for his family without lying.