Establishment Jokes

37 establishment jokes and hilarious establishment puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about establishment that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Establishment Short Jokes

Short establishment jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The establishment humour may include short established jokes also.

  1. If Elon Musk's space company establishes a mars colony, and you have a girlfriend on mars, but later break up because of long distance, she'd be your.... Space x.
  2. McDonald's has paused operations in Russia. They've successfully established a No Fry Zone.
  3. Shout-out to everyone who is struggling with establishing their identity. You know who you are.
  4. Why don't they sell aspirin in the rainforest? Because it would be economically unsound to attempt to establish a pharmaceutical distribution network in such a sparsely populated area
  5. My girlfriend is weird. Sometimes she wants my time, then sometimes suddenly she wants her space We don't seem to have established a functional continuum
  6. What do you call the an ant in a colony who is responsible for establishing incoming trade deals with other ant colonies? Import-ant
  7. If a Republican candidate who is hated by the GOP establishment and loathed by half the country just won the election... ...maybe Hillary should consider running as a Republican!
  8. Doctor: I have some good news and some bad news First the good news: we definitely established that you are not a hypochondriac.
  9. A Chinese pan, an establishment for accommodation and drinks, a number, and Abraham Rockefeller... Wok inn two Abe R.
  10. What did the white collar executive say to the low-income disenfranchised youth? Nothing. Social dichotomy prevents the establishment of dialogue.

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Establishment One Liners

Which establishment one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with establishment? I can suggest the ones about institution and setting.

  1. Once you've seen one establishment with multiple stores in it You've seen the mall
  2. Authorized, Bona Fide, Established... those are some Legit synonyms.
  3. Why did the saloon owner destroy his establishment? He wanted to raze the bar...
  4. I was in a portable toilet establishment there was no silverware.
  5. I'd like to establish a new city, a proud city. Gucci, Maine.
  6. An establishment the serves soup is a Brothel
  7. What's a conservatives favorite hotel? The White Establishment
  8. Which duck will destroy the establishment? None, ducks are not allowed in politics.
  9. I stopped leaning against walls because I couldn't trust the establishment...
  10. What do you call a mexican in a parking lot A well established individual
  11. What is H1B for "Come here often?" ? Visit this establishment frequently ?
  12. What do you call an establishment that illegally sells alcohol to Mexicans? a s**...-easy

Establishment joke, What do you call an establishment that illegally sells alcohol to Mexicans?

Cheeky Establishment Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle

What funny jokes about establishment you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean founding jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make establishment pranks.

A man asks a woman if she would have s**... with him for a Million dollars.

The woman says "yes!"
The man then asks "Would you have s**... with me for one dollar?"
"NO! what do you think I am?!" she replies
"I think we already established that, now we're just negotiating"

Would you sleep with me for ten million dollars?

At a fancy dinner party, a man turns to a woman and suddenly says:
- Would you sleep with me for ten million dollars?
The woman giggles.
- Of course I would!
- How about doing it for fifteen dollars?
The woman looks disgusted.
- Why, what kind of woman do you think I am?
- That's already been established. Now we're just haggling about the price.

A man walks into a bar and sees a young, attractive woman.

He approaches her and asks, "Excuse me, Miss. I was curious, would you be willing to sleep with me for one million dollars?" She responds, "Well certainly!" Again he asks, "How about for $10?" This time she answers, "Not at all. What do you think I am?" The man replies, "I have already established what you are. I'm just trying to negotiate a better price."

A man goes into a bar and sees a woman

He asks "Would you spend the night with me for $10,000 dollars". The woman says" Yes". The man then asks if she would stay the night for $1.00. Her response is "No, what do you think I am?" The man then says, "We have established what you are and now are negotiating the price".

A guy walks into a Bar....

..and walks up to a beautiful woman. He asks her if she would have s**... with him for $10,000. She thinks about and says she would. He then asks her if she would have s**... with him for $100. Disgusted, she declares, What kind of woman do you think I am? He replies, we have already established that, now I'm just negotiating price.

There was a comedy club called "The Joke"...

...that had amazing popularity. It wasn't because of the humor the comedians on stage offered, but due to an extremely delicious fruit punch that the establishment sold. It was so popular that people would gather into a queue around the block just to try the stuff. After a while, however, people stopped coming because of the crowding, and the club went out of business. If only the Joke's punch line wasn't so long...

'Knock knock'

'Who's there'
'Okay Google'
'Okay Google, who?'
'Sorry I didn't catch that'
'The World Health Organization is a specialized agency of the United Nations that is concerned with international public health. It was established on 7 April 1948, headquartered in Geneva, Switzerland. '

Genie with a flaw

A guy walks into a bar. He sets a bag onto the bar, orders three shots of whiskey, and slams them all back.
The bartender asks, "Hey buddy, what's the problem?"
The guy reaches into the bag, pulls out a little piano, then set it on the bar. He reaches back inside, pulls out a little stool, and sets it in front of the piano. He reaches in one more time, pulls out a little man, and sits him on the stool. The man then proceeds to play a wonderful sonata that fills the establishment and leaves the patrons in awe.
"Wow, that was great!" exclaimed the bartender. "Where'd you find this guy?"
The man reaches into the bag one last time and pulls out a lamp. He hands it to the bartender and says "Rub it."
The bartender rubs the lamp and a genie pops out. The genie says "I shall grant you one wish, whatever your heart desires."
"I want a million bucks!" the bartender shouts.
"It shall be done." And the genie disappears.
A minute later, a duck walks into the bar. And then another duck, and then another. Soon the bar is full of ducks.
"Hey buddy," the bartender says to the man. "I think your genie is a little deaf. I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks."
"Yeah," said the man. "Do you think I really asked for a twelve-inch pianist?"

An economist found himself one night in a bar standing beside a gorgeous woman.

"Would you be willing to sleep with me for $1 million? he asked her.
She looked him over. There wasn't much to see—but still, $1 million! She agreed to go back to his room.
All right then, he said. Would you be willing to sleep with me for $100?
A hundred dollars! she shot back. What do you think I am, a p**...?
We've already established that. Now we're just negotiating the price.

A man sees a woman in a bar...

A man sees a woman in a bar and asks, "Ma'am, would you sleep with me for a million dollars?"
The woman is startled at first, but replies, "My goodness! Well, I suppose... we would have to discuss terms, of course..."
The man turns away from her and says, "I've changed my mind. Would you sleep with me for five dollars?"
The woman then says, "Of course not! What kind of woman do you think I am?"
The man says, "Madam, we've already established that. Now we're just negotiating.

An English bishop was visiting New York and had been warned about quote-hungry American reporters.

As he was walking down the stairs off the plane, a voice amid the camera flashes called out "Hey, Bishop! Will you be visiting any s**... clubs while you're in New York?"
The bishop gave a crinkly smile and said innocently: "Dear me, are there such establishments in this city?"
When he got to his hotel, the headline in the evening paper read: **l**... BISHOP'S FIRST QUESTION: "ARE THERE ANY s**... CLUBS IN NEW YORK?"**

So I'm sitting in a bar and a gorgeous, very shapely woman sits down next to me and we exchange a few words.

So I ask her if she would sleep with me for $1 Million Dollars. And she says "h**... yes!".
So I ask her "How about $500 thousand dollars?" And she thinks for a minute and says "Sure, why not?"
So I said "How about for $50?"
She says "What the h**... do you think I am?"
I said "I thought we had already established what you are, we are just haggling over the price.

The right price

A man approaches a woman in a bar:
-- Miss, if I offer you a million dollars, would you agree to have s**... with me?
-- Yes, of course.
-- But what if I give you only $50?
-- Are you crazy? What kind of woman do you think I am?
-- That's what we established earlier, now I'm just trying to negotiate the price.

A man saw this very pretty lady and decided to shoot his shot.

Man: "Ma'am, would you sleep with me for ten million dollars?"
Woman: "My goodness, I suppose so, shall we discuss the terms?"
Man: "How about ten dollars?"
Woman: "What kind of woman do you take me for?"
Man: "Ma'am, we've already established that. We are now just haggling about the price."

A man at a party sees a very attractive woman

He walks up and says, "You are beautiful and I have to have you. Would you sleep with me for $2,000?"
"Yes." She says.
He walks away and comes back and says, "Would you sleep with me for $20?"
She gets angry and says, "What kind of woman do you thing I am!?"
Guy says, "We've already established that. Now we are simply negotiating the price. "

Establishment joke, What did the white collar executive say to the low-income disenfranchised youth?