Ernie Jokes
29 ernie jokes and hilarious ernie puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ernie that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article contains a collection of hilarious jokes featuring Sesame Street's beloved character Ernie. From his iconic friendship with Bert to his eccentric schemes with Willie and Fred, we explore the best Ernie jokes and why they're so beloved. Read on to see why fans can't get enough of Ernie and his antics.
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Funniest Ernie Short Jokes
Short ernie jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ernie humour may include short cone jokes also.
- Bert and Ernie are at the beach on a hot summer's afternoon... Bert pulls out his cooler and opens it up.
"Do you want some ice cream, Ernie?"
"Sure Bert." - What did Ernie say when his friend tried to convince him he was ice cream? Are you surebert?
- Ernie's roommate asks him if he wants to go out for ice cream. Ernie refuses and proposes an alternative, but his roommate does not understand the response: Sherbert!
- Ernie's baby My friend Ernest III had his first born, a little boy. But it was born out of wedlock, so he named it "insincere".
- I should've dressed up as an A-10 pilot named Ernest for Halloween. Then I could say I'm Brrrrrrrrrrrrt and Ernie.
- Why did Burt start Burt's Bees? Because after he discovered Ernie, he lost all interest in birds.
- Bert and Ernie go for ice cream Bert and Ernie are sitting outside on Sesame Street.
Bert turns to Ernie and asks, "Hey Ernie, wanna go get some ice cream?"
Ernie replies, "Sure Bert."
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Ernie One Liners
Which ernie one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ernie? I can suggest the ones about scoop and bert and ernie.
- Bert: Hey Ernie, you want some ice cream? Sherbert.
- Bernie Sanders is finally deciding to cut the BS He will now go by: Ernie Anders.
- Bert asks Ernie, "Ernie do you want to get ice cream?" Ernie responds "Sure Bert"
- Why does Ernie never get served ice cream? Cause he always answers 'Sure, Bert'
- What ice cream can Ernie never refuse? Sherbet.
*jazz hands* - Hi Bert, I think there is a banana stuck in my ear No Ernie, that's me
- (nsfw) What's Ernies favourite cheese? Cumonbert
- What does Ernie say when his roommate doesn't want to go cheese tasting? "Cmon Bert"
- What does Ernie have after dinner? Deburt!
Hilarious Ernie Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about ernie you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean flavor jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ernie pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Fascinate
Teacher: Can anyone use the word "fascinate" in a sentence?
Billy: I was fascinated by the sunrise.
Teacher: Good, but "fascinated" is past tense. Can anyone else try?
Suzie: It was fascinating to see the flowers grow.
Teacher: Good, Suzie, but you added an "ing" at the end of the word and made it an adjective. I just want to hear the verb "fascinate".
Ernie: Yo mama got a blouse with 12 b**... on it...but she so fat, she can only fascinate!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Bert and Ernie are working at Ben and j**...'s when Bert invents a new flavor. He asks, "Ernie, will you name this flavor?"
"Sure, Bert."
Ernie
Hemingway sitting in a joint in Idaho, drink in hand, summer 1961.
Two broads, a brunette and redhead, drift into the bar, see Hemingway.
They caper over, exchange a glance - Red says "So, big guy, we need to know. She says briefs, I say boxers. Which?".
"Depends"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call people who use sandpaper to remove any evidence that Ernie and Bert are gay lovers?
Bernie Sanders.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Julia is the first muppet to have a mental condition, Autism.
What about Bert and Ernie. Theyre gay!
The 3 brothers
Three brothers named Ernie, Matt, and Steve are on a boat, when suddenly it wrecks. The brothers are the only survivors. They swim to a shore, only to be captured be natives. The natives dislike outsiders, and so they arrange to have them executed. A man with a bow aims at Ernie and asks, "Do you have any last words?" Well, Ernie thinks for a while, and then looks out into the distance and shouts, "HURRICANE!!!" All of the natives run into their huts, and Ernie gets away in a canoe. Next the man aims at Matt. He asks, "Do you have any last words?" Matt thinks for a bit, then looks in horror as he shouts "TORNADO!!!" All of the tribesmen run back into their huts, and Matt gets away in a canoe. When the archer asks Steve for his last words, Steve is very confident. He puts a false sense of worry on his face and shouts "FIRE!!!"
