Ernest Jokes
26 ernest jokes and hilarious ernest puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ernest that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Ernest Short Jokes
Short ernest jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ernest humour may include short earl jokes also.
- I like to be frank and earnest with women. In Brooklyn, I'm Frank and in Chicago I'm Ernest.
- What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature? Tequila Mockingbird
(Also Ernest Hemingway, but that's beside the point) - Did you hear about the writer that became a tailor? He had to make an Ernest living, the Hemingway.
- Less well known than Ernest Hemingway's "A farewell to Arms"... is his sequel, "Oh Hello Arms I Didn't Think I'd See You Again"
- Ernie's baby My friend Ernest III had his first born, a little boy. But it was born out of wedlock, so he named it "insincere".
- City Life At first I was Ern(e)st and Young, but then became Standard and Poor: yet when I got broody I was rated as Moody, loosing my triple A score
- Let me tell you about my Uncle Ernest. He drank furniture polish and died. It's a sad story with a beautiful finish.
- I should've dressed up as an A-10 pilot named Ernest for Halloween. Then I could say I'm Brrrrrrrrrrrrt and Ernie.
- What did Ernest Vincent Wright say when he was challenged to write a book without the letter E? "What a novel idea!"
- This man is frank and earnest with women... In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
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Ernest One Liners
Which ernest one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ernest? I can suggest the ones about named and refer.
- How do you know Hemingway never lied? Because he was always Ernest.
- What's the most honest way to earn a living as a seamstress? The Ernest Hemingway
- What do you call a man with a bird roosting in his ear? Ernest
- What street do the Serious Seamstresses live on? Ernest Heming Way
- Chadwick Ernest Wong So Wong, yet so white.
- I am frank and earnest with women ... ... In Fresno, I'm Frank and in Chicago I'm Ernest.
- Why did Ernest Hemingway kill himself? He was paid per word.
- What's Smarter the Ernest Hemingway? The wall behind him.

Comical & Quirky Ernest Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about ernest you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mix jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ernest pranks.
A doctor performs surgery using local anesthesia
- Relax, Ernest, it's just a few cuts with a scalpel. Don't panic, the doctor says.
- But, doctor, my name is not Ernest.
- I know... just talking to myself.
I don't think the new AI is all that great.
I asked ChatGPT to do my taxes in the style of Ernest Hemingway.
And it replied, "For Free: Four Quarterly Tax Payment Vouchers, never used."
That is really not helpful, at all.
A couple of old guys sat at the bar...
Ernest pops up with a comment "George, when I was 20 years old and I had a hard-on, I couldn't bend it with both hands!"
They sit in silence a few minutes, punctuated by the occasional sip.
Ernest says "When I was 35, I could bend it with one hand."
A few minutes later, he says "Now I can bend it with one finger!"
Another few sips and he says "George, how much stronger do you think I'm gonna get?"
