Eric Jokes
93 eric jokes and hilarious eric puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about eric that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article explores some of the funniest Eric-related jokes from a variety of sources, including Tim and Eric, Eric Andre, Eric Cartman, Eric Nam, Eric Omondi, Tiffany, Richard, and Ryan. Laugh along as we take a look at some of the most hilarious jokes from these popular sources.
Funniest Eric Short Jokes
Short eric jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The eric humour may include short eric clapton jokes also.
- A man named Eric Cole... ... discovered that there was a direct correlation between the amount of mayonnaise on his cabbage salad and how good it tastes.
He's calling this correlation Cole's Law. - My wife thinks I play favourites with my kids. That's just silly. I love Eric and Not Eric equally.
- Whilst in the pub my friend asked me to name just 3 qatar players? I said George Harrison, Eric Clapton and Jimi Hendrix
- What's the difference between a baby and an ounce of Coke? Eric Clapton would never drop an ounce of Coke out of a window
- I asked my wife if she was cheating on me. She replied, "No, Eric. You think I would stoop that low?" My name is Andrew...
- Some people say the difference between animals and humans is that animals never go to war. They've never heard of Eric Burdon.
- Whenever a job interviewer asks what my strongest trait is, I tell them I'm responsible. Because at my old job whenever something bad happened my coworkers would always say, Eric is responsible.
- I wonder if Eric Clapton really thought she looked wonderful... or if it was just the 14th outfit she'd tried on and he didn't want to be late to the party.
- My friend Eric believes his true purpose in life is to write put-downs on the back of kitchen tiles He calls it his Eric-tile diss-function
- What the difference between a toddler and a bag of coke? Eric Clapton would never let a bag of coke fall out the window #TearsInHeaven
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Eric One Liners
Which eric one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with eric? I can suggest the ones about carol and dale.
- Have you met Eric? He's a genie. He's not special or anything. He's just Djinn Eric.
- Why did Prince Eric leave Ariel when she became a human? He was just chasing tail.
- Why does Eric Clapton prefer OSX? ...he was never a fan of having Windows open.
- Why did Eric Clapton switch from PC to Mac? He had a bad experience with windows.
- They just invented a mobile computing device that also plays guitar The "Eric Claptop"
- What did Eric say to his classmates on the last day of school? "Do you believe in God?"
- Darts champion Eric Bristow has died. At the age of triple twenty.
- Who's the most clapped rock star? Eric CLAPton.
- What did Tony Hawk's spine say to Eric Koston's spine? Nice vertibruh
- What did Eric get charged with for killing Ariel? Merder.
- Everybody stopped clapping... But Eric Clapton.
- Did you hear Eric Clapton is going deaf? cause he sure didn't.
- Did you know Eric Clapton's son was an author? He did 49 stories before his death.
- Why is Eric Clapton's nickname "slow hands?" Because he couldn't reach his son in time.
- What did Eric Clapton do after he wrote Tears in Heaven? Threw his baby out the window.
Eric Clapton Jokes
Here is a list of funny eric clapton jokes and even better eric clapton puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's the difference between Eric Clapton and a snooker player? One plays with an electric guitar, the other a-cue-stick.
- What's the difference bnetween Eric Clapton and Michael Jackson? MJ wouldn't let a kid fall out of the window
- What do Eric Clapton and coffee have in common? They're both a little bit better with Cream
- Eric Clapton and Paul Weller were going to take their bands on a reunion tour of the West Country But they couldn't decide who should go on first.
- Why does Eric Clapton only buy apple products Because his son had a bad experience with windows
- Eric Clapton Announced as new spokesperson Apple's music production suite Logic. That guy sure hates Windows.
- Avicii was offered to collaborate with Eric Clapton, Questlove, Flea, and Jay-Z But he passed
- TIL that Eric Clapton was sentenced to 10 years in prison. He shot the sheriff.
- I used to have a 2 year old son, he died the same way Eric Clapton's son died... For inspiration
- Who is the only person Eric Clapton has saved from falling out a window? Michael Caine
Eric Garner Jokes
Here is a list of funny eric garner jokes and even better eric garner puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Unlike Eric Garner... I live for out of state cigarettes.
- Eric Garner tried stand up comedy... But he choked on stage.
- What's Eric Garner's favorite song? Breathe Again- Toni Braxton
Entertaining Eric Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone
What funny jokes about eric you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make eric pranks.
Eric Clapton
Did you know Eric Clapton's son was a speed reader?
Six stories in 2 seconds.
What did the DJ name his son?
Eric
(Say it aloud, like a record scratch)
Very Punny!
Eric is just Derek without a D
The Answering Machine
Hi, this is Eric.
If you are the phone company, I already sent the money.
If you are my parents, please send money.
If you are a telemarketer, I have no money.
If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money.
If you are my friends, you owe me money.
If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
My name was Alec until I moved to China.
Now it's Eric.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did Eric Garner's wife say to him?
Would it kill you to go sell a few cigarettes?
too soon?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Alright guys lets make a thread about the sickest most twisted dark humour joke you've ever heard.
What's the difference between a small child and a bag of c**...?
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Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of c**... fall out of a window.
What education program did Eric Wright enroll in?
ECE
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between c**... and a baby? (Apologies in advance)
Eric Clapton won't let c**... fall out of a window....
Near-immediate
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Yesterday, I had a problem with my computer so I called Eric...
Yesterday, I had a problem with my computer so I called Eric, a friend of mine who is very skilled with technology.
He solved the problem quickly and easily. As he was leaving, I asked him what the problem was. He replied that the issue was an "ID ten T" error.
I didn't want to appear s**..., but I enquired "What is an 'ID ten T' error?"
He replied "Write it down, I think you'll figure it out."
I wrote it down: ID10T
I used to like Eric.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Chris Christie's name...
Is so dumb to me. It's just the male and female version of the same name. Like
Eric Erica
Daniel Danielle
or Bruce Caitlyn
A woman had five sons.
A woman had five sons: Alex, Bill, Chad, Doug, and Eric. One day, the woman gets a phone call from the hospital. The doctor says, "I'm so sorry to tell you this, but your son was in a car accident and broke his leg."
"Oh no!" She responds, "Which one?"
The doctor answers, "The left leg."
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did Eric Clapton say to Stevie ray Vaughan?
Are you coming with me or are you gonna c**... here?
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I always hate when I move to a new neighborhood because I'm forced to meet all my new neighbors and I'm terrible with first impressions. Ive never had anyone talk to me again after the first time.
All I ever say is, "Hi. My name is Eric Smith and I'm a registered child m**...."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two of the Trump children were cheating on an exam..
The first question was "Old MacDonald had a ______." Eric tried to see Tiffany's paper, couldn't, so whispered "Tiffany, what's the answer to number 1?" She rolled her eyes and said "You are the s**... one of the family. It's Old MacDonald had a farm, everyone knows that." "Oh right!" said Eric. He hesitates a minute then whispers "Hey Tiffany, how do you spell farm?" She rolls her eyes again, "Wow, you really are dumb. They tell you right in the song, it's EIEIO."
[MATH] Eric: Dad, I really hate my math teacher. The topic was about circles & he can't properly explain how he got his 2 Pi...
Dad: Probably where I got mine son.
*Yes, it's real*
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you get when you cross Eric Clapton with Heinrich Himmler?
A classical gas chamber.
A grasshopper walks into a bar
The barman says " we have a drink named after you." Grasshopper says "what? You have a drink named Eric?"
Every weekend I say to myself "Eric you should really stop drinking so much wine on Fridays"
Luckily for me I'm not named Eric
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Today it's his birthday so what's the difference between a bag of c**... and a baby?
Eric Clapton would never let a bag of c**... fall out of the window.
Happy birthday Eric and sorry for the dark joke
My Name is Eric
Co\-Worker was giving nick names at work using puns.
Eric: Whats my nick name?
Co\-Worker: You don't get one. Youre 'generic'. \(walks away\)
"Hi I'm Eric and I'm an Alcoholic."
"Hi Eric. Welcome to the end of the year, support group! Tell us how long you've been sober for.'
"Maybe a month... 34 days...?"
"Great progress!"
"Oh, not in a row. Just the total for this whole year."
What is the most hated song of all the people working on the help desk?
Eric Prydz - Call on me
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Whats the difference between a bag of coke and a 3 yr old kid?
Eric Clapton wouldn't have let a bag of coke fall out a window
Why did Bob Ross take his brushes washed in odorless thinner to Pastor Eric Dammann?
So he could beat the devil out of them.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The word is it isn't Scar who kills Mufasa in the new Live Action Lion King...
...Eric Trump jumps out a bush and shoots him!
Did you know Eric Stoltz was up to play Marty McFly?
But the director thought he was too shaky early in filming.
I met a Chinese guy at a party and told him, Do I know you? Are you Chris Chen?
He said, No. I'm Eric. Do all Asian guys look the same to you?
Me: No, I meant do you accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior?
Trump says that the Special Olympics will still be funded despite DeVos' plan.
This is presumably so Eric and Don Jr can still compete.
A favorite joke from my Dad
Eric walks into a plant nursery. Surrounded by lush potted plants, he selects an attractive hibiscus and proceeds to casually eat the leaves from its branches. A concerned salesperson walks up to him quickly.
"May I help you?" The salesperson asks.
"No thanks," answers Eric, "I'm just browsing."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
It was a dark night in the cemetery..
..and Eric had, unwisely, elected to take a short cut. The leaves rustled in the trees, the shadows appeared to move around him, and then.. and then.. tap, tap, tap. Eric started to walk faster but the tapping was only getting louder. Eric grew scared, really scared, until he rounded a big old gravestone and saw a man tapping away at the front of the stone. Trying to hide his relief, Eric said, "You're up late on a cold windy night!" "Yes", said the man. "You always work this late?" said Eric. "Not normally", replied the man, "But the b**... spelt my name wrong!"
Rich Twocock went to the court to change his name.
He filled up all necessary forms and gave a lengthy explanation about how everybody tell jokes about his name, including his family members and friends. The judge finally accepted his request and at the end of the interview session asked him: what other name do you want to have ?
He answered: I want to become Eric Twocock.
