Erasable Jokes
109 erasable jokes and hilarious erasable puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about erasable that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Erasable Short Jokes
Short erasable jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The erasable humour may include short jokes also.
- Of all the inventions of the last 100 years... the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable
- I thought about inventing a pencil with an eraser at both ends. But I didn't see the point.
- Warning. Don't let them take your forehead temperature at the supermarket, because it erases your memory. I went for macaroni and cheese.
And came home with two cases of beer. - Why is the eraser sold separately from the pencil? Because you have to pay for your mistakes.
- I asked this girl in my class for a rubber... forgot that in the U.S. they call it an eraser
- How do you know when a blonde's been at your computer? There's white out on the screen.
Why white out?
'Cause the eraser didn't work. - Ever stop to think that The eraser has been sacrificing its life slowly because of your mistakes?
- The TSA just announced they're banning erasers on flights. They're capable of math destruction.
- My dad keeps throwing erasers at me... My dad keeps throwing erasers at me and I finally snapped, "Why dad!" he replied "the first rubber I used didn't get rid of my mistake, maybe this one will"
- The police caught a person erasing people's criminal records They said he was a real pro for a first offender.
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Erasable One Liners
Which erasable one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with erasable? I can suggest the ones about and .
- I named my eraser confidence... Because it gets smaller with every mistake I make
- I love dry erase boards. They're remarkable.
- I just got a new dry erase board it's remarkable!
- I want to design a pencil with an eraser on both ends. People say it's pointless though.
- I'd love to give the man who invented Incognito mode a cookie. Sadly it was erased.
- People make mistakes That's why a pencil has an eraser and Katie has gonorrhea
- I made a pencil with two erasers It was pointless
- The only mistake I ever made... Was buying a pencil with an eraser on it.
- What do you call a person that hates erasers An eracist
- I told my teacher I don't like using colored pencils She accused me of being erase-ist
- What do you call discrimination against erasers? Erase-ism
- What is Hillary Clinton going as for Halloween? An eraser.
- I keep getting bills from the Memory Erasing Clinic but I've never been there.
- They say that nothing can be erased from the Internet... Except for Hillary's emails.
- Most pencils have erasers But that's beside the point
Erasable Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about erasable you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make erasable pranks.
A gentleman is preparing to board a plane, when he hears that the Pope is on the same flight. “This is exciting,” thinks the gentleman. “Perhaps I'll be able to see him in person.” Imagine his surprise when the Pope sits down in the seat next to him. Shortly after take-off, the Pope begins a crossword puzzle. Almost immediately, the Pope turns to the gentleman and says, “Excuse me, but do you know a four letter word referring to a woman that ends in ‘unt?’” Only one word leaps to mind. “My goodness,” thinks the gentleman, “I can't tell the Pope that. There must be another word.” The gentleman thinks for quite a while, and then it hits him. Turning to the Pope, the gentleman says, “I think the word you're looking for is ‘aunt.’” “Of course,” says the Pope. “Do you have an eraser?”
A tourist was watching an Indigenous man sending smoke signals.
Everything around him was primitive, except of a latest model fire extinguisher.
"What's the fire extinguisher for?" the tourist wondered.
"It's for erasing the misspellings!"
I own the erasers for all the miniature golf pencils.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
In a classroom...
The girl students were really upset and shouted together in class in unison for justice. The agahst teacher asked for a reason. They asked him to look at the blackboard in which was written in bold "**50% of girls don't have brains**", which the girls asserted was the job done by boys on purpose.
The teacher called one of the boys and asked if indeed this was true. The boy admitted that it was respectfully done by them. The teacher then asked him to correct the mistake and rewrite the sentence.
The boy dutifully moved forward and picked up the duster instead of the chalk to the amazement of the teacher and erased the word don't from the blackboard. The sentence now read "**50% of girls ~~don't~~ have brains**".
There was an awkward silence and then a Roar of applause from the girls for their victory. The boys and the teacher too joined in their celebration.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Butcher's Daughter
A butcher lives in a tiny apartment above his tinier shop. He is awakened in the middle of the night by strange noises coming from downstairs. He tiptoes down the staircase and peers into his shop to discover his daughter m**... with a large liverwurst on his butcher's block.
The butcher is mortified, but heads back upstairs to bed, trying to erase what he just witnessed from his mind.
In the morning a woman enters the store and starts picking out meats.
"...and finally, I'll need about a half a pound of liverwurst".
"Er...we're actually out of that..."
The woman looks perplexed, and points with her thumb to the liverwurst displayed inches away from her.
"So what's that then?"
"That...that is my son-in-law."
Crossword Puzzle Pope
A businessman is getting on a flight when he hears from another passenger that the Pope is going to be on the flight.
"WOW, great!" he thinks, being a devout Christian, "What a good place to be today."
Just before the aircraft doors are closed the Pope enters the plane and sits next to him.
I am surely blessed the man thinks. Here I am, a good Catholic on a flight with the Pope sitting next to me.
The plane takes off and after a few minutes the passengers take off their seat belts.
The man looks sideways and sees the Pope reaching into his bag to take out a crossword book. Marvelous, he thinks, not only am I blessed with the Pope next to me but he does crosswords and so do I. He notices that the Pope is working his way through the puzzle, and that the Pope is tapping his pencil, thinking.
The Pope turns to him and says, "I usually don't talk to anyone on flights, but I wonder if you can help me?"
"Anything, your Eminence ... What is it?"
"Do you know a four letter word that ends in 'u-n-t' that means something associated with women?"
The man feels uncomfortable. He thinks and thinks. Finally he says, "The only word I can think of is aunt."
The Pope looks at him and asks, "Do you have an eraser?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How does a male pencil get rid of a female pencil?
Erase her.
So a man gets on a plane...
...he finds his seat and realizes he's sitting none other than the pope. The man is Catholic and greets the pope with:
"His Holiness".
The pope welcomes him and then goes back to his crossword. The man is nervous, worrying about doing something to offend the leader of his religion. About halfway through the flight the pope leans over and asks:
"would you happen to know a 4 letter word for a girl that ends in U-N-T?"
The man almost loses it. Of course the c word jumps to the front of his mind. He pauses, turning white while searching his mind for a better word. In a flash it comes to him:
"AUNT!!!" he exclaims.
The pope responds:
"Of course! Would you happen to have an eraser?"
What did people say when the inventor of the Dry Erase Board showed off his new invention.
That's Remarkable!
Terrible joke, came to me on the toilet early, but I had to say it. And it's also likely be told in some form before.
Graverobbers
These two men liked to dig up graves and collect the items deceased were burried with. They mostly dug up famous people, and took items like jewelry and other valuable items.
One day they decided to go to a graveyard in london. Their they found Mozarts grave. They spent hours digging up the grave, and when the finaly got to the coffin and opened it there was a man sitting their erasing things in this large book. So the graverobbers asked him, "Uhhh, What are you doing?"
He then replied, "De-composing."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below sea level when he noticed a guy at the same depth, but with no scuba gear whatsoever.
The diver went below another 20 feet, and the guy joined him a few minutes later. The diver went below 25 feet, and minutes later, the same guy joined him.
This confused the diver, so he took out a waterproof chalkboard set and wrote, "How the h**... are you able to stay under this deep without equipment?"
The guy took the board and chalk, erased what the diver had written, and scrawled, "I'm drowning, you m**...!"
A university in the United States was robbed of a whopping $170,000
One student managed to erase his own debt.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I asked a student for a c**...
Forgot the called them "erasers" here.
Multiple choice test
A teacher has administered a multiple choice test to his students. During the exam he notices one student is flipping a quarter and then filling in his answer key. This continues throughout the exam. Nearing the end of the exam, the techer notices the student picking up pace. He is flipping his quarter faster and faster and frantically erasing and scribbling on his test. The teacher approaches the student and asks "what are you doing?"
"Just double checking my answers"
A white eraser was being mean to a black eraser.
It was being era-cist.
With the banning of the Confederate flag in America...
We are going through a period of erase-ism.
Apart from the name, what similarities do pencil rubbers and rubber johnnys share?
They both erase mistakes.
Fed up with all the denouncements, God finally decides to appear in front of an atheist...
To show that he is the Allmighty and omnipotent and put the heretic to his place, God asks the atheist for one wish that he *will* grant.
Atheist, after a careful consideration, replies:
"Erase my memory of this incident."
So the Pope is doing a crossword puzzle when a Bishop walks in.
"What is a four letter word for a woman that ends in -unt?" the Pope asks. The Bishop thinks for a minute, afraid to say such a word to the holiest of men. Then a miracle comes to him. "A-unt?" he suggests. "Yes, that fits better, got an eraser?"
A guy on a train is sitting next to a nun who is doing a crossword puzzle.
The nun is stuck on a clue that doesn't fit with some other answers that she's already written down. She asks the man for help.
"Let's backtrack, and double check that your other answers are right. That usually helps me," he says.
"Good idea," the nun says. "How about this one: A four-letter word, ending in 'U-N-T,' and the clue is 'Something you would call a woman.'"
"Aunt?" The man says.
"Oh, right..." the nun says. "Say, do you have an eraser?"
Why the story tells that Cindarella was at the ball?
Because the censor erased the letter "s".
You can chew on the end of the pencil
But you can't erase the tooth.
What is the perfect crime?
Starting a fire. The crime erases the evidences by itself.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
TIL Magic Eraser cleaning pads were invented in Germany in 1942.
They called them "w**..." though.
A grave digger...
A grave digger hears a story about how Mozart had an unfinished song folded up in his coat pocket when he was buried.
The grave digger goes to the cemetery where Mozart was buried, and starts digging at the composer's grave.
The grave digger hits the coffin.
The grave digger opens the coffin, and sees Mozart holding the unfinished piece, and erasing each note on at a time.
The grave digger yells, "What are you doing?!"
Mozart responds with, "Decomposing."
Archaeologists found Beethoven furiously erasing his music
When asked what he was doing Beethoven responded "I'm decomposing"
I'd always wondered why they didn't make pencils with erasers on either side
Then I realised there wouldn't be any point.
I just invented a device which erases one's recent memory and tested it on myself.
What was I thinking?
School Question
Mother: Why are you home from school so early?
Son: I was the only one who could answer a question.
Mother:Oh, really? What was the question?
Son: Who threw the eraser at the principal?
What do you call a pencil that won't draw on colored paper?
An erase-ist (e-racist).
Four across...
Two men are sat completing a crossword puzzle on a train, sat across from them is a Priest. The first man starts to scratch his head, and he asks the man across from him:
"A word, four across, ending with unt..."
The other man asks him:
"Well, what's the clue?"
He replies:
"It just says 'a woman,' that's all."
"Aunt?"
"Ah, yes it is!"
The man looks down, nodding in agreement. Across the carriage a feeble voice, the Priest.
"Can I borrow an eraser?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So they dug up Mozart's Grave...
They found him erasing all of his music, "What are you doing?" "I'm Decomposing"
If I had a penny for every time I thought about my enemies...
I'll have no pennies. Cause I erased them all.
Have you guys heard the one about the pencil with an eraser at both ends?
It's not that great. It doesn't have a point, really.
I've started competing in discus meets
I almost won a trophy yesterday. I threw the discus really far, but this other competitor named Gus got my throw erased. He said my throw got lifted by a burst of wind, so he went to the track officials.
This Gus discussed his disgust on the discus.
Just realized my poorly-upvoted posts end up being the answer to "what did the driver do at the race track?"
[erased]
Why did the blackboard sue the dry erase marker?
Because the dry erase marker would only work with the whiteboard.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Guy sits next to a priest doing the crossword
Priest says: "You know a four letter word for 'type of woman', last three letters u-n-t?"
Guy replies: "Aunt."
Priest pauses, says: "Got an eraser?"
Why are the wheels of the trains made with iron and not rubber?
Because if they were made with rubber, they would erase the line.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Pope and one of the Cardinals were sitting around doing crossword puzzles.
The Pope says, "Can you think of a four-letter word meaning 'woman' that ends with the letters, U-N-T?"
The Cardinal thinks for a moment. "Why yes, father. That would be 'AUNT'"
The Pope laughs, "YES! Of course! ...ha ha ha..." (pause) "Got an eraser?"
What did the inventors of the dry erase board say when they reflected on their creation?
That's remarkable!
Why did Mario find Koopa after he kidnapped the Princess and moved his castle so quickly?
Because Koopa forgot to erase his Bowser History.
I bought an eraser costume for my date today.
Nothing can go wrong.
What do you call a dissapearing horse?
An erase horse
I've always thought the black erasers never work as well as the lighter colored ones.
Probably because I'm an erase-ist.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man boards a plane and, to his surprise, finds the pope in the seat next to him...
Shortly after takeoff, the pope opens the newspaper and starts working on the crossword puzzle. Almost immediately the pope turns to the man and says, Execuse me, do you know a four-letter word that ends in 'unt' and refers to a woman?
Just one word leapt to mind, an extremely v**... one. The man thinks to himself, I can't suggest *that* word to the pope. There must be another word . . .
Then it hits him. He turns to the pope and says, I think the word you're looking for is 'aunt.'
Of course! Exclaims the pope. I don't suppose you have an eraser?
What do you call a dry erase convention?
An Expo expo.
So a graverobber decides to dig up Mozart,
He digs down, opens the coffin, and finds, not a dead body but a very old Mozart rapidly erasing music sheets. The grave robber says "Mozart, is that you? What are you doing?" Mozart responds, "I'm decomposing."
Who are you when you erase half of galactose
Than-ose
Roses are red violets are blue
Thanos would try to erase John Cena but he'll kick out a two.
Eraser company's are built of your failures
My dad trying to explain what dish cleaner does. "So basically it erases the fat of dishes... well not er~"
Me interrupting: "then why don't you bathe in it?"
An abortion is a lot like using a pencil eraser...
It gets rid of your mistake, but it leaves pink marks.
DID ANYONE SEE THE GIANT MAN EATING SPIDER ON TV LAST NIGHT????
I forgot he erases memories
As a kid, I once ate a Star Wars eraser...
It was a little Chewie.
My 3 greatest strengths are:
The calculator, the ruler and the eraser.
What's a designers job?
Erasing signatures from documents.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
One time, my friend had a really dark eraser, so I said, "Man, you're eraser's really black."
He replied, "That's **eracist**."
A catholic kid is in school and needs help
While the teacher was helping the student, he suddenly makes a mistake
Teacher: Oh, you need to erase that
Kid: I can't
Teacher: Why?
Kid: Because I didn't bring a rubber
Teacher: Why not?
Kid: Because my dad said it's a sin to use a rubber
Did you hear the one about the whistle-blower for the Church of Scientology?
Nobody did. He was swiftly killed and any evidence surrounding his existence was erased from history and censored from the internet.
Years of working in the corporate, ruined my graffiti career.
This is all I wrote on a building today:
"Please do not erase."
A gentleman is preparing to board a plane when he hears that the Pope is on the same flight.
Imagine his surprise when the Pope sits down in the seat next to him.
Shortly after take-off, the Pope starts a crossword puzzle. Almost immediately, the Pope turns to the gentleman and says, Excuse me, but would you know a four letter word ending in 'u-n-t' that refers to a woman?
Oh my god! the man thought. I can't tell the Pope that. There must be another word. The gentleman thinks for quite a while, then it hits him. Turning to the Pope, the gentleman says, I think the word you're looking for is 'Aunt'.
Oh, of course! the Pope exclaims. Do you have an eraser?
Why did the eraser on the end of the pencil feel like giving up?
Because it couldn't see the point.
I made a pencil with two erasers.
It was pointless...
PS: I actually didn't, but it's my favourite bad joke, and it's my cake day, so I can do whatever I want!
Edit #1: If you didn't see my comment somehow, I feel scammed, because at the time of posting this, I yet had like 2 hours of my cake day left. I guess Reddit doesn't use European time...
Edit #2: I feel honoured to receive my first award ever!