equation Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious equation puns

I'm bad at math

So the equation 2n+2n is 4n to me.


The one to your dumb friend...

A guy sees an ad on the window of a store with the words "Selling brains". Curious, he walks in and asks the shopkeeper what kind of brains he's selling.

Shopkeeper: "I've got Einstein's brain who won a Nobel Prize and discovered the Universe's secret equation. He was the world most brilhant physicist. I can sell it for 3k."

Guy: "What about that one?"

SK: " That's the brain of Galileu Galilei. He was the great astronomer who supported that the Earth revolves around the Sun. He was the father of modern science. It's worth 2k."

Guy: "And what about that one?"

SK: "That's the brain of [*random friend*] . It costs 20k."

Guy: "20k?!? That's a lot! Why is it worth that much?"

SK: "Well, it has never been used."


What do you call a musical equation that a former Vice President composes?

An algorithm

(Credit to my girlfriend)


So 3 men die and go to heaven...

So three men die and go heaven- a chemist, an idiot, and a mathematician.

When they get to the pearly gates of heaven, St. Peter is standing there, and says "Alright heaven is getting full, so to get into heaven, you have to ask me a question that I do not know the answer to.
The mathematician goes first, and asks St. Peter what the most complex mathmatical equation is. St. Peter pulls out a scroll, and reads the mathematician the equation. The mathematician is whisked away into hell. The chemist goes next. He asks St. Peter the most complex chemical formula, and again, St. Peter pulls out a scroll. He reads the most complex chemical formula, and the chemist is whisked to hell. The idiot goes next. He asks St. Peter for a drill, and a wooden chair. The chair and drill appear in front of them, and the idiot proceeds to drill 6 holes into the seat of the chair, and then sits down on the chair. The idiot lets a huge fart rip. He asks St. Peter which hole he farted out of. St. Peter sniffs each hole. St. Peter then asks "Was it hole number 4?"
The idiot says"Wrong! I farted out of my asshole!"


Salary Theorem: The less you know, the more money you'll earn (PROVEN INSIDE!)

Salary Theorem states that Engineers and Scientists can never earn as much as Business Executives and Sales People.

This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates:

1. Knowledge is Power.
2. Time is Money.

As every engineer knows:
Power = Work / Time


Knowledge = Power

Time = Money

It follows that:
Knowledge = Work/Money.

Solving for Money, we get:
Money = Work / Knowledge.

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.

The less you know, the more you make.


What was Stalin's favorite chemical equation?

HAmAr + SiCl


I was trying to solve an equation when I realised that the minus button on my calculator was broken...

On the plus side, it still worked.


Why is X = 2K + 1 called the teenager equation?

because it can't even.


What do you call four rats on a mathematical equation?

A quadratic equation :)


The teacher shows the student a blank graph

Teacher: Tell me the equation of this graph.
Student: This is fucking pointless


Did you hear about the math teacher...

...who used a ladder to solve a calculus problem written at the very top of his blackboard?

He really rose to the equation.


What did the Exponential Equation say to the Linear Equation?

Real graphs have curves.


Despite an extensive knowledge of the inter workings of mathematics, the expert mathematician's favorite equation was 1+2...

That horny bastard just couldn't get enough of that three sum.


There are almost no problems that cannot be solved by adding puppies into the equation...

except for world hunger...which come to think of it, they can also solve.


My girlfriend is actually a solution

... of equation x²+1=0


How does a boat captain determine his profit?

By using aquadratic equation.

(Via my coworker)


If /u/doubledickdude was a math equation...



Why Businessmen earn more than engineers !

Our mechanic's professor's reasoning of

"Why businessmen earn more than engineers ! "

If we equate the two variables namely into the two field's general statements,

- Time is money
- Knowledge is power

We know,

- Power = Work / Time

Substitute the variables into the equation and we get,

- Knowledge = Work / money

Rearranging we get,

- money = Work / Knowledge

Proving that as Knowledge reaches 0 money reaches infinity. And so the smarter you are (engineers?) The less you earn.


i love math but the equation 2n+2n

Is 4n to me


What do you call an equation with no solution?

A hypocrite.


Why are differential equation courses so dry?

Because the problems are all about losing liquids at varying rates.


Did you hear about the mathematician who became a monk?

One evening he was solving a trigonometric equation and then he saw a sine.


What's a Ninja Turtle's favorite equation?

A radical equation.


What happens when entropy meets an exponential equation?



Why is Hitler like solving the equation (x/10^6)=-6 for X?

The final solution leaves you with - 6,000,000


What are Muslim men's favorite mathematical equation?



I offered to pay a friend to help me find the answers to a quadratic equation.

The equation was X^2 - 7X + 12 and even though I was prepared to give cash he gave me the answers for free.


what did Freud say about an algebraic equation?

What you do to one side, you must also do to your mother


When you add the same thing to both sides of an equation, it remains true.

Therefore, since 'pro' is the opposite of 'con', then 'progress' is the opposite of 'Congress'.


Why did the quadratic equation get so many Tinder matches?

It's poly


How do you solve a math equation?

Isolate the "x" so it gets depressive and takes suicide.


When using the equation Y=1-T to understand how citizens react to changes in taxation...what happens when T>1?

Alot of T gets dumped in a harbor


Nothing gets panties wet like a Navier-Stokes equation.

It's not called fluid mechanics for nothing.


Marriage or Death

At my second wedding my buddy was giving a speech. He started by telling me he had some bad news - 50% of marriages end in divorce. That's not the worst part though - the other half end in death. So I started thinking, my first one ended in divorce, so the odds are in my favor. I wondered about the math, so I started doing the equation and it turns out I'd rather be single than dead.

- I'm writing a set, notes and critiques are more than welcome


Confused about maths equation

I'm usually sharp enough with the sums. But when multiplying 664,751 x 8 it keeps going tits-up on me!?!?


What are the most funny Equation jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Equation? Well, here are the best Equation dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Equation pick up lines to share with friends.

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