Equality Jokes
74 equality jokes and hilarious equality puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about equality that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover the importance of equality in this collection of jokes! Read humorous takes on gender equality and fairness, without the oppression, to bring a smile to your face. Enjoy these jokes and gain a better understanding of the importance of creating a fairer society.
Quick Jump To
- Short Equality Jokes
- Equality One Liners
- Gender Equality Jokes
- Equality And Diversity Jokes
- More Equality Jokes
Funniest Equality Short Jokes
Short equality jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The equality humour may include short justice jokes also.
- Did you know: If you say a number loud enough, you increase its value? For example: 5 equals 5, but
5! equals 120. - My wife always accuses me of having a favorite child. It's not true, I love Matthew and Not-Matthew equally.
- Tuna must age about five times faster than humans. This is supported by the fact that tuna half-hours are equal to 150 minutes.
- My wife accuses me of favoritism over my children, which is not true. I love Matthew and Not-Matthew equally.
- If x=y and y=z, then x=z. Applying the same logic.
If all men are pigs.
And Men and women are equal.
Then all women are pigs. - Angry feminist told me that men are animals, men are pigs! So I told her that women are equal to men.
- Feminist I don't understand why women want to be equal when they could be better.
That shows a lack of ambition to me.
Which is why men are better. - Not all construction work is equally enjoyable. For instance, drilling a large hole is boring, but fastening two pieces of metal together is riveting.
- My wife thinks I play favourites with my kids. That's just silly. I love Eric and Not Eric equally.
- "For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.." - Newton's Law "Shredded cabbage and carrot make a great salad." - Cole's Law
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Equality One Liners
Which equality one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with equality? I can suggest the ones about equal rights and peace.
- Why is every gender equality officer female? Because it is cheaper.
- Do you know 10+10 is equal to 11+11? 10+10 is twenty, 11+11 is twenty two
- Feminists just want to be treated equally To the pretty ones.
- what does 18 + 15 equal? Jail time
- Why was math so easy in ancient Rome? x always equals 10
- What does 69 plus 69 equal ? Dinner for 4
- I'm not a racist. I treat every race equally Even the bad ones
- May the force be... ... Equal to Mass times Acceleration.
- If your debits and credits don't equal, then your assets in jail.
- Why does 1 equal 0? cos 0 = 1
- I treat both brown and white rice equally. I'm not riceist.
- 3+3 doesn't equal 3 But 3+3 = 3!
- Why is zero equal to one cos 0=1
- Why is every "Gender Equality Officer" a female? They're cheaper.
- Everybody should be treated equally It doesn't matter if you're black, yellow or normal.
Gender Equality Jokes
Here is a list of funny gender equality jokes and even better gender equality puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How will we truly reach gender equality? By leaving the toilet seat at a 45 degree angle for the next person to decide without bias.
- To further gender equality, I think it's time we have our first transgendered superheroes. The Ex-Men.
- "I wish for gender equality!" *the genie waves his wand.*
"Well, I'm not sure how you guys will repopulate, but that's on you." - In the interest of gender equality, this year my church... ...is going to sing Christmas Hers.
- I believe in gender equality.. That's why I don't say ladies first,
I say ladies at the same time. - Gender equality is like women's pockets It just looks like it's there.
- How will we know when we've reached gender equality? Magicians will be sawing men in half, too.
- Why are women so upset with the gender hiring equality in the Post Office? Because it's such a mail dominated industry
- I love going out to dinner with feminists I always talk up gender equality before handing them the check
- Women like to claim that they are equal to men... Women like to claim that they are equal to men, but women have never successfully oppressed and entire gender.
Equality And Diversity Jokes
Here is a list of funny equality and diversity jokes and even better equality and diversity puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- General Motors finally solved their workplace diversity dilemma There are equal numbers of black, white, brown, red, yellow, and orange robots. Half the robots have p**... drawn on them.
- I went to a progressive s**... club last night. Diversity and Equality are pretty good dancers.
Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Equality Jokes
What funny jokes about equality you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean comparison jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make equality pranks.
Two magicians walk into a bakery
The first palms 3 donuts. He then snidely challenges the other magician to perform a trick of equal benefit. The second magician then calls the baker and asks for 3 donuts if he'd like to see a magic trick. The baker does his part and provides the donuts. The magician then eats the donuts and exclaims "Ta-Dah." The bakery is angered and asks "Well what's the magic trick?" The second magician replies "Look in my friend's pocket."
A farmer has a new handsome assistant
A farmer has a new handsome assistant. One morning they want to go out into the fields to work. At the garden gate the farmer sees that the roads are muddy and realizes that he forgot his rubber boots (Wellingtons for the Brits ;)
He tells his assistant to go get the boots from the house. The assistant returns and finds the farmers very pretty wife, along with the equally pretty daughter sitting in the kitchen. He tells them: "The farmer just said it would be alright if I had s**... with you right now!" The women look sceptical, so the assistant opens the window and shouts to the farmer: "Both?"
Farmer: "Of course both of them, what do you think?!"
There was an International Job opening.
Two men applied, a Canadian man, and an American. After the test and the interview, they company decided to go with the Canadian man. The American with distraught asked why they decided to hire the Canadian and how he did in the interview and test. They said it was a very difficult decision because they both did equally well on the test and in the interview. The American was outraged. "THEN WHY DID YOU HIRE THE CANADIAN?!?." The manager then responded, "Well, you both did equally well in the interview, but the real problem was the test. You both got 9/10 on the test, but for question 10, the Canadian man put 'I don't know' and you put 'me neither.'"
Shout out to my Math Teacher for telling me this one.
Johnny's parents hired a tutor to help him with statistics
after his first session with the tutor, his parents asked him how it went.
johnny said "well, today i learned that correlation is not equal to causation"
johnny's mother was pleased: "so hiring this tutor is really helping you understand statistics!?"
johnny responded "well, not necessarily."
I've discovered that 1+1 can, in fact, equal 3.
Because I wasn't wearing a c**....
I was wondering why the book about s**... I bought had positions like the "hammer and sickle" and "government mandated equality"
Then I realized I was reading the c**... Sutra.
My wife asked me how she looked
I told her that she was a 10/10 and she hugged me, i had to inform her that 10/10 is still equal to 1
A son was arguing with his dad, insisting that 1+1 equals 11
The father then looked at his son's eyes and said:
-Right, then go and buy 2 popsicles!
His son then goes and buys 2 popsicles.
Then, his dad said:
-Now give me one and the other to your brother!
Son asks:
-What about mine?
Father answers:
-You can have the other nine left over, stubborn kid!
God is talking with the presidents.
God asks Bush: "What do you believe in?"
Bush answers: "I believe in the free market, and the strong American nation!"
"Very well," says God. "Come sit to my right."
Next, God asks Obama: "What do you believe in?"
Obama answers: "I believe in the power of democracy, and equal rights for all."
"Good, says God. "You shall sit to my left."
Finally, God asks Trump: "What do you believe in?"
Trump replies: "I believe you're sitting in my chair."
Gender Equality
Visiting Afghanistan for a second time, a war correspondent from CNN noted that since the fall of the Taliban, wives who used to walk ten paces behind their husbands were now walking ten paces in front.
The journalist asked one of the men if this was a sign of growing equality.
"No", the man replied. "Land-mines."
When God created women...
He told them: "Women from all the corners of the world should have equal rights to men."
Ironically he made the Earth round.
Liberal people support human rights and the idea that people with disabilities should have equal labor market opportunities.
Now there is a disabled guy in the White House and all they do is compalain about it.
How can you tell you're playing poker with a feminist?
They'll insist that Kings and Queens have equal value.
A dwarf walks into a bar, he's very, very thirsty.
The dwarf approaches the counter. It's very high up, so he can't see the other side.
He tries anyway and says: "Can I have a Coke please?"
(no answer)
He tries to jump as high as he can, saying "Can I have a Coke please?"
(no answer)
He jumps up and down, saying every time he gets to the top, "Can I have a Coke please?"
(still no answer)
He's fed up, so he goes around the counter, and on the other side...
...he sees another dwarf, jumping up and down saying, "Is Pepsi OK?"
PS: Google tells me that "dwarf" and "little person" are equally non-offensive. Feel free to educate me if it's the wrong term.
So I held a race between my farmhands. They ran equally fast, and demanded I determine the winner.
However, they both threatened to leave the farm if I declared the other the winner. I felt unable to make a decision. As a matter of fact, my hands were tied.
A dad says to his son Ten times two and eleven times two equal the same number
The son says it's wrong
The dad asks what's ten times two?
The son replies Twenty
Then the dad says And eleven times two is twenty too!
The teacher asked Little jimmy, if I give you 4 cats today and 2 more tomorrow, how many cats will you have? Little Jimmy said, Seven The teacher said, no Jimmy, four plus two equals six. Why did you say seven?
Little Jimmy said, because I already have a cat!
Equally Logical - Jewish parable from 1948
A group of n**... surrounded an elderly Berlin Jew and demanded of him, "Tell us Jew, who caused the war?"
The little Jew was no fool. "The Jews," he said, then added, "and the bicycle riders."
The n**... were puzzled. "Why the bicycle riders?"
"Why the Jews?" answered the little old man.
Two kinds of nerds:
May the force be ____________
a. equal to mass times acceleration.
b. with you.
Newton, Pascal and Einstein are playing hide and seek
Einstein starts to count.
Pascal runs off and hides in a bush, while Newton draws a square on the ground and steps into it.
Einstein finishes counting, turns around and sees Newton, "Ha, I have found you Newton!"
Newton however replies, "Nope. One Newton on one square meter is equal to one Pascal."
Lightbulb Jokes (OC)
There is a large number of lightbulbs jokes that go, "How many X does it take to screw in a lightbulb?", with X ranging from blondes to bolsheviks. But why is it that the answer never equals one? Grandma knew why: Many hands make light work.
Shakespeare was able to write with either his left or right hand equally well...
He was iambidextrous.
