Equality Jokes
66 equality jokes and hilarious equality puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about equality that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover the importance of equality in this collection of jokes! Read humorous takes on gender equality and fairness, without the oppression, to bring a smile to your face. Enjoy these jokes and gain a better understanding of the importance of creating a fairer society.
Funniest Equality Short Jokes
Short equality jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The equality humour may include short justice jokes also.
- Did you know: If you say a number loud enough, you increase its value? For example: 5 equals 5, but
5! equals 120. - My wife always accuses me of having a favorite child. It's not true, I love Matthew and Not-Matthew equally.
- Tuna must age about five times faster than humans. This is supported by the fact that tuna half-hours are equal to 150 minutes.
- Not all construction work is equally enjoyable. For instance, drilling a large hole is boring, but fastening two pieces of metal together is riveting.
- My wife thinks I play favourites with my kids. That's just silly. I love Eric and Not Eric equally.
- "For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.." - Newton's Law "Shredded cabbage and carrot make a great salad." - Cole's Law
- How can you tell you're playing poker with a feminist? They'll insist that Kings and Queens have equal value.
- When God created women... He told them: "Women from all the corners of the world should have equal rights to men."
Ironically he made the Earth round. - How will we truly reach gender equality? By leaving the toilet seat at a 45 degree angle for the next person to decide without bias.
- To further gender equality, I think it's time we have our first transgendered superheroes. The Ex-Men.
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Equality One Liners
Which equality one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with equality? I can suggest the ones about equal rights and peace.
- Do you know 10+10 is equal to 11+11? 10+10 is twenty, 11+11 is twenty two
- Feminists just want to be treated equally To the pretty ones.
- what does 18 + 15 equal? Jail time
- What does 69 plus 69 equal ? Dinner for 4
- May the force be... ... Equal to Mass times Acceleration.
- If your debits and credits don't equal, then your assets in jail.
- I treat both brown and white rice equally. I'm not riceist.
- 3+3 doesn't equal 3 But 3+3 = 3!
- Everybody should be treated equally It doesn't matter if you're black, yellow or normal.
- A man works hard to name an interval equal to 24 hours. so he calls it a day.
- When does one plus one equal three? Nine months later.
- Why are cats and daughters equal in Alabama? They both lick their paw.
- What do you get when you combine an equally strong acid and base? Net neutrality.
- Judge: "How do you explain your actions?" "Basic math. 2 times 9 equals 18"
- i just feel like a B+ should equal an A- just like how an Ab is a G#
Gender Equality Jokes
Here is a list of funny gender equality jokes and even better gender equality puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- "I wish for gender equality!" *the genie waves his wand.*
"Well, I'm not sure how you guys will repopulate, but that's on you." - In the interest of gender equality, this year my church... ...is going to sing Christmas Hers.
- I believe in gender equality.. That's why I don't say ladies first,
I say ladies at the same time. - Gender equality is like women's pockets It just looks like it's there.
- I love going out to dinner with feminists I always talk up gender equality before handing them the check
- Why don't we organize a marathon to promote gender equality? 8km for men and 5km for women!
Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Equality Jokes
What funny jokes about equality you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fair jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make equality pranks.
Two magicians walk into a bakery
The first palms 3 donuts. He then snidely challenges the other magician to perform a trick of equal benefit. The second magician then calls the baker and asks for 3 donuts if he'd like to see a magic trick. The baker does his part and provides the donuts. The magician then eats the donuts and exclaims "Ta-Dah." The bakery is angered and asks "Well what's the magic trick?" The second magician replies "Look in my friend's pocket."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A farmer has a new handsome assistant
A farmer has a new handsome assistant. One morning they want to go out into the fields to work. At the garden gate the farmer sees that the roads are muddy and realizes that he forgot his rubber boots (Wellingtons for the Brits ;)
He tells his assistant to go get the boots from the house. The assistant returns and finds the farmers very pretty wife, along with the equally pretty daughter sitting in the kitchen. He tells them: "The farmer just said it would be alright if I had s**... with you right now!" The women look sceptical, so the assistant opens the window and shouts to the farmer: "Both?"
Farmer: "Of course both of them, what do you think?!"
There was an International Job opening.
Two men applied, a Canadian man, and an American. After the test and the interview, they company decided to go with the Canadian man. The American with distraught asked why they decided to hire the Canadian and how he did in the interview and test. They said it was a very difficult decision because they both did equally well on the test and in the interview. The American was outraged. "THEN WHY DID YOU HIRE THE CANADIAN?!?." The manager then responded, "Well, you both did equally well in the interview, but the real problem was the test. You both got 9/10 on the test, but for question 10, the Canadian man put 'I don't know' and you put 'me neither.'"
Shout out to my Math Teacher for telling me this one.
Given infinite time, a million monkeys with a million typewriters
will eventually become a very creepy room filled with an equal count of typewriters and monkey skeletons
Johnny's parents hired a tutor to help him with statistics
after his first session with the tutor, his parents asked him how it went.
johnny said "well, today i learned that correlation is not equal to causation"
johnny's mother was pleased: "so hiring this tutor is really helping you understand statistics!?"
johnny responded "well, not necessarily."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I've discovered that 1+1 can, in fact, equal 3.
Because I wasn't wearing a c**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Which kid?
Wife: Honey, i think you don't love our kids equally. It seems you have one that gets less love from you.
Husband: Really? Which kid do you mean? Karl, Tina or the fat one
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A joke I heard some time ago
A texan man is driving over the Mexican border with his family. The border guard looks out his booth and notices the jam-packed pickup truck with trailer.
Raising an eyebrow he asks the man: "Planning a longer stay, sir?"
"We're emigrating." the man replies.
Visibly surprised the guard asks: "Why's that?"
The man responds: "Thirty years ago homosexuality was despised. Twenty years ago it became tolerated. Ten ago it was widely accepted. This year it became equal. We're leaving before it becomes mandatory."
I want to find a hobby where I can get in peoples way, complain for equality but ignore the law, and get all defensive if anyone attacks my hobby.
Hey, check out my new road bike!!
*
A Freshman Seminar Professor Was Trying To Wow His Students
He told them, "In the English Language, a double negative equals a positive. For example, I didn't not do it equals I did it. But no double positive in English equals a negative."
A student in the back shouted, "YEAH, RIGHT!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was wondering why the book about s**... I bought had positions like the "hammer and sickle" and "government mandated equality"
Then I realized I was reading the c**... Sutra.
My wife accused me of showing favouritism towards one of our kids...
It's not true; I love Emma and Not Emma equally!
My wife asked me how she looked
I told her that she was a 10/10 and she hugged me, i had to inform her that 10/10 is still equal to 1
A son was arguing with his dad, insisting that 1+1 equals 11
The father then looked at his son's eyes and said:
-Right, then go and buy 2 popsicles!
His son then goes and buys 2 popsicles.
Then, his dad said:
-Now give me one and the other to your brother!
Son asks:
-What about mine?
Father answers:
-You can have the other nine left over, stubborn kid!
God is talking with the presidents.
God asks Bush: "What do you believe in?"
Bush answers: "I believe in the free market, and the strong American nation!"
"Very well," says God. "Come sit to my right."
Next, God asks Obama: "What do you believe in?"
Obama answers: "I believe in the power of democracy, and equal rights for all."
"Good, says God. "You shall sit to my left."
Finally, God asks Trump: "What do you believe in?"
Trump replies: "I believe you're sitting in my chair."
Gender Equality
Visiting Afghanistan for a second time, a war correspondent from CNN noted that since the fall of the Taliban, wives who used to walk ten paces behind their husbands were now walking ten paces in front.
The journalist asked one of the men if this was a sign of growing equality.
"No", the man replied. "Land-mines."
A dwarf walks into a bar, he's very, very thirsty.
The dwarf approaches the counter. It's very high up, so he can't see the other side.
He tries anyway and says: "Can I have a Coke please?"
(no answer)
He tries to jump as high as he can, saying "Can I have a Coke please?"
(no answer)
He jumps up and down, saying every time he gets to the top, "Can I have a Coke please?"
(still no answer)
He's fed up, so he goes around the counter, and on the other side...
...he sees another dwarf, jumping up and down saying, "Is Pepsi OK?"
PS: Google tells me that "dwarf" and "little person" are equally non-offensive. Feel free to educate me if it's the wrong term.
So I held a race between my farmhands. They ran equally fast, and demanded I determine the winner.
However, they both threatened to leave the farm if I declared the other the winner. I felt unable to make a decision. As a matter of fact, my hands were tied.
A dad says to his son Ten times two and eleven times two equal the same number
The son says it's wrong
The dad asks what's ten times two?
The son replies Twenty
Then the dad says And eleven times two is twenty too!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm not a racist. I treat every race equally
Even the bad ones
The teacher asked Little jimmy, if I give you 4 cats today and 2 more tomorrow, how many cats will you have? Little Jimmy said, Seven The teacher said, no Jimmy, four plus two equals six. Why did you say seven?
Little Jimmy said, because I already have a cat!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Equally Logical - Jewish parable from 1948
A group of n**... surrounded an elderly Berlin Jew and demanded of him, "Tell us Jew, who caused the war?"
The little Jew was no fool. "The Jews," he said, then added, "and the bicycle riders."
The n**... were puzzled. "Why the bicycle riders?"
"Why the Jews?" answered the little old man.
Two kinds of nerds:
May the force be ____________
a. equal to mass times acceleration.
b. with you.
Lightbulb Jokes
There is a large number of lightbulbs jokes that go, "How many X does it take to screw in a lightbulb?", with X ranging from blondes to bolsheviks. But why is it that the answer never equals one? Grandma knew why: Many hands make light work.
Shakespeare was able to write with either his left or right hand equally well...
He was iambidextrous.
