Equal Rights Jokes
37 equal rights jokes and hilarious equal rights puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about equal rights that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Equal Rights Short Jokes
Short equal rights jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The equal rights humour may include short gender equality jokes also.
- When God created women... He told them: "Women from all the corners of the world should have equal rights to men."
Ironically he made the Earth round. - Shakespeare was able to write with either his left or right hand equally well... He was iambidextrous.
- If women are fighting for equal rights... Then why, as a man, do I get judged when shopping for bras?
- "You know the newest cars drive themselves. And they found that by turning an equal amount left and right, you end up going straight." "I swear, officer."
- Trump Executive Order #16 Trump: From now on, 2+2 will equal 5.
Reuters: But that can't be right, 2+2=4. We proved that, too!
Trump: You can say 2+2=4, but this is alternative math.
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Equal Rights One Liners
Which equal rights one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with equal rights? I can suggest the ones about equality and civil rights.
- Equal Rights for Duplicates Clones are People Two!
- I'm not a fan of Nascar... I believe in equal rights.
- What do you call a scientist who wants equal rights for all elements? A chemenist!
- I think that most opinions can be viewed equally. And I'm right about that!
- When women talk about equal rights.
- I support equal rights Equal rights = Equal fights
- Islam gives Women EQUAL Rights!
- What Egyptian King called for equal f**... rights for all? Toot-in-common
- Sure women want equal rights, but are they willing to f#c**... for them.
Gather Around for Fun Equal Rights Jokes and Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about equal rights you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean womans rights jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make equal rights pranks.
A son was arguing with his dad, insisting that 1+1 equals 11
The father then looked at his son's eyes and said:
-Right, then go and buy 2 popsicles!
His son then goes and buys 2 popsicles.
Then, his dad said:
-Now give me one and the other to your brother!
Son asks:
-What about mine?
Father answers:
-You can have the other nine left over, stubborn kid!
God is talking with the presidents.
God asks Bush: "What do you believe in?"
Bush answers: "I believe in the free market, and the strong American nation!"
"Very well," says God. "Come sit to my right."
Next, God asks Obama: "What do you believe in?"
Obama answers: "I believe in the power of democracy, and equal rights for all."
"Good, says God. "You shall sit to my left."
Finally, God asks Trump: "What do you believe in?"
Trump replies: "I believe you're sitting in my chair."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A farmer has a new handsome assistant
A farmer has a new handsome assistant. One morning they want to go out into the fields to work. At the garden gate the farmer sees that the roads are muddy and realizes that he forgot his rubber boots (Wellingtons for the Brits ;)
He tells his assistant to go get the boots from the house. The assistant returns and finds the farmers very pretty wife, along with the equally pretty daughter sitting in the kitchen. He tells them: "The farmer just said it would be alright if I had s**... with you right now!" The women look sceptical, so the assistant opens the window and shouts to the farmer: "Both?"
Farmer: "Of course both of them, what do you think?!"
A Freshman Seminar Professor Was Trying To Wow His Students
He told them, "In the English Language, a double negative equals a positive. For example, I didn't not do it equals I did it. But no double positive in English equals a negative."
A student in the back shouted, "YEAH, RIGHT!"
Pythagoras walks into a bar...
...muttering, 'If a right-angled triangle has a short side, X, a long side, Y, and hypotenuse, Z, then the square of Z must be equal to the sum of the square of X and the square of, erm... uh...'
The barman says, 'Y, the long face?'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Feminism Joke
Man: So what do you want?
Feminist: I want equal rights and liberties as men.
Man: I couldn't agree with you more... because if I did, you would have a problem with that.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was recently asked how I view l**....
Apparently "as equal females" is not the right answer.
God and it's Presidents
God recently was looking for humble person, who in an unselfish way with great self-knowledge could help God on Earth make America great again.
Bush, Obama and Trump was invited and went for the job interview with God
God asks Bush: What do you believe in? Bush answers: I believe in the free market, and the strong American nation! Very well , says God. Come sit to my right.
Next, God asks Obama: What do you believe in? Obama answers: I believe in the power of democracy, and equal rights for all. Good , says God. You shall sit to my left.
Finally, God asks Trump: What do you believe in?
Trump answers: I believe you're sitting in my chair.
Superbowl Commercial Concept
*Queue dark, stormy night*
"There comes a time when we must all step up for equality"
*Flash of civil rights marches, gay pride parades and protests in the middle east*
"A time when we cannot accept bigotry and hatred"
*Rain pours on multi-ethnic protesters linked arm in arm*
"A time to proclaim that an era of love and understanding is here"
*People celebrating good news outside the Supreme Court*
"Arm and Hammer Baking Soda, the choice of a new tomorrow"
My brother told me this. Feels like it belongs here.
A grammar teacher was lecturing his students on double negatives. He explains, "In some languages, take English, for example, if you were to use double negatives, it is the equivalent of a positive. It isn't considered proper grammar for that reason."
A student raises his hand. "Like in Algebra?"
"Exactly. However, in other languages, like Russian, a double negative is still a negative. For those of you who are curious, there is no language where a double positive equals a negative."
A student piped up in the back. "Yeah, right."
Contempt Of Court
Having had to take the day off work to appear in court for a minor traffic summons, the man was growing increasingly restless as he waited hour after hour for his case to be heard.
Finally, late in the afternoon, his case was called. He stood before the judge, only to hear that court would be adjourned until the next day and he would have to return.
"What!" What for?" he yelled at the judge.
His Honor, equally irritated by a tedious day and the sharp query, roared, "That will be twenty dollars for contempt of court! That's what for!"
Noticing the man checking his wallet, the judge added, "That's all right. You don't have to pay right now."
The man replied, "Oh, I'm just looking to see if I have enough for two more words!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
George Carlin on s**...- Quote from life is worth losing
**George Carlin:** Do you realise, that right this second, right now somewhere around the world some guy is getting ready to kill himself. Isn't that great? Statistics show that every year a million people commit s**.... Thats 2800 a day. That's one every thirty seconds.
[Stares at watch]
**George Carlin:** There goes another guy! And I say guy because men are four times more likely than women to commit s**..., even though women attempt it more. So men are better at it. That's something else you gals oughta be working on. Well if you wanna be truly equal you're gonna have to start taking your lifes in greater numbers.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Paraprosdokians
* Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
* The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
* Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
* If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
* We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
* War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
* Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
* To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
* I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
* In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify:' I put'DOCTOR'.
* Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are s**....
* You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
* I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
* To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
* Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
* You're never too old to learn something s**....
Some marriage jokes (closer to facts)
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always
It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.
Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
A man was complaining to a friend: 'I had it all - money, a beautiful house,a big car, the love of a beautiful woman then, Pow! it was all gone!' 'What happened?' asked the friend. 'My wife found out..'
Wife: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. Husband: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.
A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, 'Martha, pack up your things! I just won the California lottery!' Martha replies, 'Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?' The man responds, 'I don't care. Just so long as you're out of the house by noon!'
Women will never be equal to men until can walk down the street bald and still think they are beautiful!
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.
If your wife and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose, would you go to lunch or to a movie?
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.