The Best 78 Equal Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Equal jokes. There are some equal sine jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these equal patriarchy puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Equal Jokes and Puns
This year I vow to be twice the husband and father that I have been
I'm gonna spend equal time with my secret family in Connecticut
Feminist
I don't understand why women want to be equal when they could be better.
That shows a lack of ambition to me.
Which is why men are better.
Pythagoras walks into a bar...
...muttering, 'If a right-angled triangle has a short side, X, a long side, Y, and hypotenuse, Z, then the square of Z must be equal to the sum of the square of X and the square of, erm... uh...'
The barman says, 'Y, the long face?'
A man works hard to name an interval equal to 24 hours.
so he calls it a day.
If your debits and credits don't equal,
then your assets in jail.
Just after the apartheid ...
A bus company's owner explain to his drivers that if they find it difficult to see people as equal they just have to consider there are no more black and white people, only blue.
So, this driver explained it to its passengers :
"Ok guys, you're not black or white anymore. Only blue. So light blue get the front seats, dark blue the rear."
Two magicians walk into a bakery
The first palms 3 donuts. He then snidely challenges the other magician to perform a trick of equal benefit. The second magician then calls the baker and asks for 3 donuts if he'd like to see a magic trick. The baker does his part and provides the donuts. The magician then eats the donuts and exclaims "Ta-Dah." The bakery is angered and asks "Well what's the magic trick?" The second magician replies "Look in my friend's pocket."
"For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.." - Newton's Law
"Shredded cabbage and carrot make a great salad." - Cole's Law
When does one plus one equal three?
Nine months later.
Why were there no feminists in Communist China?
Because everyone had equal rice.
Given infinite time, a million monkeys with a million typewriters
will eventually become a very creepy room filled with an equal count of typewriters and monkey skeletons
You can explore equal doth reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean equal calculate dad jokes. There are also equal puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
So, I went to go get my haircut..
And I told the barber to make the left side a little shorter than my right. Then I told him to make a couple of little holes and bald patches. And for the back of my head, don't make my hairline equal. Make it a zigzag.
He looks at me and says, "Come on, you know I can't do that, it wouldn't be right!"
And I'm like, "I don't see the problem, you did it last time..."
Timbuktu
Once in a quizshow. There were an Australian and a priest competing against each other. Their scores were equal, so they had to create a verse about "Timbuktu".
The priest began:
"I was a father, all my life,
had no children, had no wife.
I read the Bible, through and through.
On my way to Timbuktu."
Then the Australian told his version:
"When Tim and I to Brisbane went,
we met three ladies cheap to rent.
They were three and we were two,
so I booked one and Tim booked two!"
Johnny's parents hired a tutor to help him with statistics
after his first session with the tutor, his parents asked him how it went.
johnny said "well, today i learned that correlation is not equal to causation"
johnny's mother was pleased: "so hiring this tutor is really helping you understand statistics!?"
johnny responded "well, not necessarily."
I've discovered that 1+1 can, in fact, equal 3.
Because I wasn't wearing a condom.
When does one plus one equal three?
When you forget to wear a condom.
Princess Diana goes to heaven...
Princess Diana goes to heaven and meets St. Peter. He says to her: Here in heaven we are all equal, so you need to take off the crown. She replies: This is not a crown, it's a rim
I'm not a fan of Nascar...
I believe in equal rights.
SJWs have called for the symbols < and > to be banned from math.
Because all numbers are equal.
Feminism Joke
Man: So what do you want?
Feminist: I want equal rights and liberties as men.
Man: I couldn't agree with you more... because if I did, you would have a problem with that.
So a Math Major goes in for a job interview...
.... and when he does the man interviewing him asks him to tell him about himself.
The Math Major stuttered and didn't really know how to respond so the man says "tell me about yourself, give me any qualities."
So the Math Major immediately replies "greater than, less than, or equal to."
Angry feminist told me that men are animals, men are pigs!
So I told her that women are equal to men.
Studies show unprotected sex has over an 8 percent chance of causing Cancer.
The same study found a near equal chance of causing Gemini or Sagittarius.
Why did the integer stop multiplying with other integers of equal value?
He was Squared Straight.
How many Feminists did it take to change the lightbulb?
None, we hired a handyman since his work was better for same equal pay.
TIL that North Korea is one of few countries where women Truly have equal rights to men.
That is that they both equally don't have any.
How to equally divide a cake among five people with only three cuts
Slice three people with your knife and ask the last, "Do you also want a piece?"
A math teacher was lecturing his class
Suddenly, the professor popped a question,'What is ((353.44634×153×15)+799²-285)×69-0.2 equal to?'
The students were really confused, one who was extremely frustrated stands up and yells and slams on his table,'NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN!' The teacher was impressed and said,' Correct, now you can sit down, Adolf.'
Why are cats and daughters equal in Alabama?
They both lick their paw.
Equal Rights for Duplicates
Clones are People Two!
What's the difference between a Tupperware store and the gay male community?
In a Tupperware store, there's an equal number of tops and bottoms
3+3 doesn't equal 3
But 3+3 = 3!
May the force be...
... Equal to Mass times Acceleration.
My wife asked me how she looked
I told her that she was a 10/10 and she hugged me, i had to inform her that 10/10 is still equal to 1
If I had a dollar for every promise a politician fulfilled
The debt would equal my uninsured hospital bill.
what does 18 + 15 equal?
Jail time
What's 5Q + 5Q equal to?
You're welcome!
Why is there no equality in domestic abuse?
Someone always has the upper hand.
Equal pay for women is not where it needs to be.
Whatever Beyonce is making, I want that.
Twitter @caredee
Three squirrels were sitting on animal hides...
The first squirrel was sitting on a rabbit hide and weighed one pound. The second squirrel was sitting on a wolf hide and weighed two pounds. And the third squirrel was sitting on a hippopotamus hide and weighed three pounds. This proves that the squirrel on the hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the squirrels on the other two hides.
If x=y and y=z, then x=z.
Applying the same logic.
If all men are pigs.
And Men and women are equal.
Then all women are pigs.
God is talking with the presidents.
God asks Bush: "What do you believe in?"
Bush answers: "I believe in the free market, and the strong American nation!"
"Very well," says God. "Come sit to my right."
Next, God asks Obama: "What do you believe in?"
Obama answers: "I believe in the power of democracy, and equal rights for all."
"Good, says God. "You shall sit to my left."
Finally, God asks Trump: "What do you believe in?"
Trump replies: "I believe you're sitting in my chair."
A man was trying to subdivide a large piece of property he owned in Manhattan.
But no matter how many ways he tried, he was unable to split it up into any number of equal sized parcels. He asked a realtor if she could help, but the realtor said there was simply no way to do it.
The problem, she said, is that's a piece of prime real estate.
I Believe all women are created equal
That's why I am willing to sleep with all of them
George W Bush, Barack Obama, and Trump all die and go to heaven.
Upon arriving, God asks them respectively what they believe in.
Bush said he believes in American exceptionalism, the right to bear arms, and the free market.
God said alright, you can take this seat to my right.
Obama said he believes in everyone having Healthcare, equal rights for all, and sustainability.
God invited him to take the seat to His left.
Trump said "I believe you're in my seat"
Two cannibals who haven't had a decent meal in some time catch a neighboring tribesman in the jungle.
After discussing how to keep things fair, they decide that one should start at the feet and the other at the head to make sure they get an equal amount.
A few minutes into the meal, the cannibal who started at the head asks, "How's it going down there?"
"I'm having a ball!" says the other one.
"Whoa whoa whoa, slow down!" says the first. "You're eating too fast!"
If 7 equals C and 9 equals E. What does 8 equal?
8=D
hehe
When God created women...
He told them: "Women from all the corners of the world should have equal rights to men."
Ironically he made the Earth round.
I borrowed my umbrella to a girl
That makes the number of girls I got wet this year equal to -1.
Why is zero equal to one
cos 0=1
Liberal people support human rights and the idea that people with disabilities should have equal labor market opportunities.
Now there is a disabled guy in the White House and all they do is compalain about it.
How can you tell you're playing poker with a feminist?
They'll insist that Kings and Queens have equal value.
What do you call a scientist who wants equal rights for all elements?
A chemenist!
All races are not made equal
The 10k is twice as long as the 5k race
My Engineering teacher asked me to find the torque caused by two equal and opposite parallel forces
So I said Okay, give me a couple moments.
All timezones are equal and shouldn't be shamed
Greenwich is just mean
I have a way to make math easier.
Make the numbers communist. That way, every number is equal.
When is 1 + 1 equal to 3?
When you don't use a condom.
I don't understand why women want to be equal when they could be better.
That shows a lack of ambition to me.
Which is why men are better.
A fathom is a unit of measure equal to 6 feet
Therefore, a cluster of rally attendees not practicing social distancing could be deemed "unfathomable"
I firmly believe that all races are equal.
Which is why I'm no longer allowed to position the starting blocks at the Olympics.
Scientists have determined that one dog year is not equal to 7 human years.
The only thing equal to 7 human years is 2020
You may be surprised to know that Roman numerals are actually very easy to do Algebra with
X is always equal to 10.
= + = + = = =
Equal + Equal + Equal Equals Equal
I don't mind my geometry teacher asking me to draw a circle. But to then ask me to turn that circle into two equal parts?
That's where I draw the line.
A dad says to his son Ten times two and eleven times two equal the same number
The son says it's wrong
The dad asks what's ten times two?
The son replies Twenty
Then the dad says And eleven times two is twenty too!
I'd like to take the opportunity on this, International Women's Day, to refute allegations that I'm a sexist.
I've got a friend who's a woman. And I believe she should be treated as if she *is* equal.
i just feel like a B+ should equal an A-
just like how an Ab is a G#
Why does 1 equal 0?
cos 0 = 1
Do you know 10+10 is equal to 11+11?
10+10 is twenty, 11+11 is twenty two
What does 69 plus 69 equal ?
Dinner for 4
Tuna must age about five times faster than humans.
This is supported by the fact that tuna half-hours are equal to 150 minutes.
How Newton came up with his laws
A cow was walking. Newton shouted at the cow and it stopped. He formed his first law: an object continues to move unless it's stopped .
Newton gave the cow a forceful kick and it made a sound, 'MA'. He formed his second law: force, F = MA .
The cow gave Newton a forceful kick back. He formed his third law: for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction .
I just go into a fight with a friend. He thinks all races are equal, but I think some races are far superior....
Like the marathon. That takes a lot of stamina, and is a far superior race.
And if you thought this was going somewhere else... you need to take a good hard look at yourself!
why did schrodinger want a closed coffin?
So he could have equal chance of being alive or dead
I think every race should be equal
I don't see the point of having different distances in Abu Dhabi and Miami Grand Prix.
Not all construction work is created equal.
For example, enlarging a drilled hole is boring, but fastening pieces of metal together is riveting.
Did you know that 10+10 and 11+11 both equal the same number?
10 + 10 = Twenty
and
11 + 11 = Twenty, too.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the equal factor jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working equal equally piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.