episode Jokes

funny episode pick up lines and hilarious episode puns

Star Wars Episode 7-9 Titles Revealed

Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens

Star Wars Episode VIII: The Force Sleeps For Five More Minutes

Star Wars Episode IX: The Force Is Late For Work


Why did Star Wars episode 4,5,6 came before 1,2,3?

Because in charge of planning, Yoda was.


Ever wondered why starwars episode 4,5 and 6 came before episode 1,2 and 3.

Because, incharge of scheduling Yoda was


I was watching an episode of "How it's Made" that was all
about how they make mirrors.

I'd like to be the guy that has to inspect the mirrors. That's a job I could really see myself doing.


What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base?

A flat major.

What do you get if you drop a piano down a mineshaft?

A flat minor.

What do you get if you drop a piano on a beehive?

B flat.

What do you get if you drop a piano on a Morris Marina?

An episode of Top Gear.


Halloween at a Hospital.

An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset.

Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put.

He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational.

In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.

A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him.

He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.

As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard, (barely containing his laughter), and who had watched the whole incident, walked up and asked, "What the heck is going on here?"

The drunk, still staring down replied: "I think I just beat the shit out of a ghost."


There was an 80 year old man in a living in a nursing home

For the past few years, he had been dating a 75 year old lady 3 rooms down from him. Every day she would go to his room, sit next to him, pull out his penis, hold it in her hand as the watched the Price is Right. Being 75, she didn't have enough energy to actually do anything, she just held it in her hand for the entire episode.

A few days months later, she gets up and goes to his room only to find him with another woman from across the hall.

"I don't get it, Harold. I'm 75. She's 92 and can barely even talk! What does she have that I don't?"



Empire Strikes Back is still my favorite StarWars episode.

One could say it is a perfect 5/7.


Why was Star Wars released in the order of episode 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3

In charge of order, Yoda was


RP - Why did episodes 4,5,6 come befor 1,2,3?

Because in charge of planning, Yoda was.


If Two and half men, the Big Bang theory and How I met your mother had ever done a crossover episode

It would have been called How I banged your mother with two and a half men


Jesus Christ was featured on a recent episode of Hoarders

Apparently, his saving really got out of control!


My go-to accounting joke

(Acknowledgement: This joke came from the Drew Carey show. I don't remember specifically which episode. I don't even know why I was watching it.)

The owners of a micro-brewery are sitting around a table having their monthly board meeting.

The accountant stands up and says "So, let's see, this month, we lost ... hmm... hmm... Hey! Does anybody have a black pen?"

The CEO says "I can go buy one."

The accountant replies "Yeah, but then we won't need it anymore."


How to carve a fish.

In the 70's in Scotland, there was a TV show called 'Weirs Way', where a man called Jim Weir would walk around the highlands, chatting with local characters.

One episode, he met an old man who carved elaborate walking sticks. Jim picked up a stick that had a beautiful leaping salmon for a handle, and said to the old man, "So tell me Archie, how would you go about carving something as intricate as this?"

The old man looked up from his workbench and said, "Well, it's surprisingly simple, Jim. First you take a piece of wood, then you just cut off all the bits that don't look like a fish".


Why did Vader (Anakin) finally rebelled against the Emperor?

In Episode 3, he helped carry out Order 66 to kill all Jedi.
In Episode 4, he helped carry out Order 67 to destroy Alderaan.
In Episode 5, he helped carry out Order 68 to destroy rebel base on Hoth.
In Episode 6.... the Emperor was just too old and nasty for Vader to carry out Order 69.


Why did Vegeta name his son Trunks?

...find out on the next episode of Dragon Ball Z


Why do they call the first episode a pilot?

Because without one, the show would never get off the ground.


The King and Queen get a Puppy

After the whole donkey episode, the King and Queen decide to stick to dogs, and get a dachshund. Barely a month old, the puppy was given to the couple after being abandoned by its mother, the only one of the litter to survive.

Night after night, the court physicians and veterinarians watched the dog, the Queen herself often feeding the blind, half-starved animal with an eye dropper.

One morning, after worrying all night, the King and Queen shed tears of joy when the little animal struggled out of his bed and took his first steps.

The next day's headline:

"Royal Weiner Stands Up for First Time; King and Queen Jubilant but Tired"


So I'm already kind of mentally unstable and my girlfriend just told me that she's pregnant.

I think I'm having a zygotic episode.


A Canadian version of Breaking Bad is in the works

It'll be one episode long. Walt is diagnosed with cancer and receives treatment.


Episodes 4, 5, and 6 of Star Wars came before episodes 1, 2, and 3...

...because in charge of scheduling, Yoda was.


The other day I started watching Game of Thrones

I told my friend about it. Told him all about the violence, murder, decapitation, gore, sex, gay sex, midget sex, prostitution, rape, paedophilia, incest and inbreeding... And he was like: "Oh so you're still on the first episode then?"


That Military Documentary series on Japan in WW2 was really good...

...Unfortunately it never survived past the Pilot episode.


At last, I finally got around to watching the new episode of "Doctor Who" ...

... it was about time.


Did you hear what they're planning for the next episode of 'Glee'?

It's a 'Walking Dead' crossover.


In one episode of Dexter's Laboratory, Dexter fires Dee-Dee because.....

....he can't focus properly when she distracts him. So he hires this pretty blonde girl to mimic Dee-Dee, and he asks her "I want to see you dance" "That'll be 50$ extra" Took me awhile to figure that one out


I'm making a TV show about the different roles people serve on aeroplanes.

Wanna see the pilot episode?


Why do sheep love Star Wars Episode V?

Because Dey-go-bah.


A sitcom about a 9/11 hijacker was in the works for Comedy Central

But it never made it past the pilot episode


Most people call the movie Rogue One

but I like to call it Star Wars Episode: PI because its between Episodes 3 and 4


Since The Simpson's just reached the 600 episode milestone, I'd like to take a moment to remember it's importance to american history ...

Its unwaveringly realistic portrayal of the yellow people's disenfranchisement while pursuing the American Dream is a testament to our nation's tolerant spirit.


The kids were really suprised when I put ginger in their curry...

...they really *did* love that cat.

> Stolen from a recent episode of *Match Of The Day*


What's the worst part about season 1 of Lost?

The *pilot* episode.


Did you hear about the episode concept for Doctor Who where The Doctor accidentally falls into a food themed alternative dimension?

He was attacked by The Garlics


What's the difference between a Dragon Ball Z episode and a Markiplier video?

A *Dragon Ball Z* episode doesn't have as much screaming


What are the best Episode puns ?

Did you ever wanted to be joking with someone about Episode? Well, here are the best Episode dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny pranks and Episode pick up lines to share with friends.

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